I sat there in the middle of the dining hall, staring at the ceiling and trying hard not to think about the delicious scent assaulting me, coming in from all around. I tried not to think about how it would taste if I was allowed to taste a drop of blood. The delectable scent made it all the harder to resist. I hated being the weakest link. I detested being the only one that wasn't strong enough to endure the pain of being in high school, of having to be with hundreds of humans in this crammed place every day. I was the only one suffocating while trying to withstand the scent. It was fine for everyone else.

Rosalie, my 'twin' of sorts, found it near enough easy. Of course – she had never tasted so much as a drop of succulent human blood before. She had been taught to restrain herself and not to feed upon humans as I had. It was good for too – humans were throwing themselves at her so often that if she had less restraint we would be moving from every town within a day of arriving. Rosalie's immaculate record did not lower her self-esteem any, though. It made her feel superior to all of us and she was always rubbing it in our faces. Rosalie always had something to feel smug about. Right now she was full of pride and self-admiration. I didn't need to be able to read her mind to know it was as shallow as her thoughts. Her thoughts and self-esteem weren't without good reason though. Rosalie knew, without a doubt, that she was the most beautiful person in this room. But she was not the only person with exceptional self-control. Alice wasn't having much trouble with keeping this new diet either.

Alice was the only reason I kept this diet. I was entirely devoted to her and loved her more than life itself- though it wasn't much of a life. I would crawl to the ends of the earth for her. I would do absolutely anything for her. She was my everything. My life, my soul, my heart. Without her life would have no meaning. Before I met Alice I was desolate and lonely. There was no reason to live. She saved me from an eternity of depression and solitude. I owe her my life. She is why I am sitting here now battling with my thirst while struggling to find words that describe the phenomenon that is her. Alice started this new diet at the same time as me but she finds it easier than me. Perhaps because she is more devoted to this diet than me. The only reason I am really here is for her. I would go anywhere, do anything for her. I would –

I was cut off from my thoughts by a mouth-watering scent attacking me. A human had come too close. She ran her fingers through her short sandy hair. The heaters blew her delicious scent towards me. I watched the girl, and in that second I forgot everything. I forgot Alice, I forgot my family. In that second I became the dangerous predator I was supposed to be. And she was my prey. I imagined myself getting up from my seat beside Alice and leaning closer to the little girl, as if I was going to whisper in her ear. Letting my lips touch the creamy arc of her throat. I thought of how the hot flow of her pulse would feel under my mouth. Then I felt a kick from under the table, jolting me from my thoughts. I was grateful for the distraction. Edward stared at me from across the table, his face expressionless. But I could feel his emotions. You could never get away with trying to fool the empath. You couldn't lie to a mind reader either. Edward knew what I was thinking. Alice would have put him up to this. She always worried about me. I apologised to Edward, feeling ashamed the whole time. I could feel the pity emanating from him. I didn't want pity. I wanted someone to be angry with me for once. I was sick of being the weakest link, because I was and everyone knew it, no matter how often they tried to lie to themselves, or me. Like now.

"You weren't going to do anything," Alice murmured soothingly to me, but it was painfully obvious she was lying, "I could see that. It helps if you think of them as people…" She babbled on, trying to distract me. I listened to her tinkling, high pitched voice and tried to forget what she was saying but I couldn't. "It helps if you think of them as people," her beautiful, musical voice moving too fast for human ears to comprehend, "Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister that she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?" Of course I remembered. Perfect memory was one of the disadvantages of being a vampire. I could remember every person I had killed, or almost killed. I tried to block out Alice's voice without success – I didn't want to think about the girl I had almost murdered. "I know who she is," I said in a tone that ended the conversation. I turned back to staring out the window. Alice sighed and picked up her tray, dancing out of the cafeteria, only stopping to dump her untouched tray in the bin. Sometimes it felt like she could read my mind and now she knew I did not need her encouragement, I just wanted to be left alone. I turned my head and tried to forget everything. I almost succeeded for a while. I was brought out of my stupor by my siblings rising and telling me it was time for class. I exited with them gracefully and we headed for class. I hated school.