My first English fanfiction! Sorry about the silly story and grammar mistakes. Well, newbie's problem.

Genre : Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Rating : T

Warning : Lot of swear.

The Second You Sleep

(Saybia)

One night stand. You always do that, right Dean?

Dean Winchester the ladies man will never ever leaved that habbit for the rest of his life. No, never, until this one.

It's began since the night you spent with someone you'll never imagined before. Someone who you knew too much, the one who will die – hell, he has already died for a several times before – just for you. The one who griped you tight and rised you from perdition.

Yes, it's Castiel.

An Angel of the Lord. The Angel of Thursday.

You woke up with a sharp pain in your head this morning. Your vision became blurry and the light from morning sun screw everything up. So you choose to closed your eyes. Hide your light green eyes behind your eyelid so you could push your mind to remembered every little thing that has happened last night.

And these mess memories getting more clear than before. Castiel.

Who gasped and moan beneath your touch. Who griped your arms and leave an unpermanent mark at there. Who scream your name loudly when he came.

Oh God.

A small groan escaped from your throat when you opened your eyes. And the groan became more louder when you realise that the one who roled a play in your life has gone and leaved you alone on your motel bed.

Sam always told you about how much Castiel love you. But you ignored him. You ignored every fucked thing that your little brother has told you about Castiel's feeling.

Cass, Castiel, an Angel of the Lord. He will never knew about what is love, right? Especially in the way human do with another human. No fucking way.

But Dean, you're the one who taught him about everything. You're the one who taught him about human feeling, and you knew he could learn it perfectly.

But without you knew it, accidentaly you've taught him about how to hide a feeling towards someone.

It's just like a dream – a nice one in the night without hunting – when you heard about how much Castiel love you. But everything will be messed up when you doubt it, again.

Castiel is an angel, he will never love me, right? He will never ever had a feeling like a friggin' teeneger towards me, Dean Winchester the ladies man who lived for hunting monster, right? No fucking way.

You're so stupid Dean. So fucking stupid.

What you've taught to Castiel, and a doubt that you've made when you heard that Castiel loved you, has made you blind Dean. As blind as you can't saw the truth – the pure love – between the reaction of the angel towards you in this whole times.

Since 'that night' you've found something different in each Castiel's movement. He's avoiding your glance and if he has a question, he'll choose Sammy instead of you. Strange. And he'll just answered your question with a quick reply or small nod or shake his head or lift up his shoulder then he'll back to Sammy.

And it's made your little brother worry.

He's asking you about Castiel but you can't tell him. No, no way. You're not stupid – or – crazy enough to said to your brother that you've slept with an angel. A male angel! Well Castiel always said he's genderless, but his vessel is a man!

So instead of tell him the truth you just said that something has happened between you two after the little drinking party that you all have held to celebrate 'the coming back Castiel from Purgatory' which have delayed for a two month. More or less.

You stop him for asking any further.

You've broke everything Dean. 'Cause if you remembered every-fucking-thing so cleary, you're the one who seduce him first. You're the one who kiss him, ripped his clothes and trew him on the bed.

And now each time Castiel gone from your sight you pray in your heart he will come back again. 'Cause the feeling of suffering from a loss became a nightmare even when you're wide awake.

You woke up in the middle of the night. With a cold sweat and a trembled hand. Your stomacth felt so funny that made you wanna trew everything up. It's all because of the dream that you've had.

You've dreamed about Castiel.

No, not just Castiel. But it's Castiel who leaved you alone and ignored your call like what he did on Purgatory.

Hell, the vision of Purgatory back to haunted you again.

That time, you thought you just need a partner to keep alive in a mess of Purgatory. But Benny is not the answer. You realise that you need something more.

And when you – at least – found Castiel, you just like found a heaven in the middle of hell. You run to him and hug him tightly, but you frowning when he didn't reply what you've did, and it's made you disappointed.

That's the answer. You just need Castiel, and Castiel only. That's why you told him, "Cass, buddy, I need you."

Then you remembered of the night when the three of you sitting around with a bonfire in the middle, you just can't leave your gaze from Castiel.

Who's breathing, alive, and real.

And then he's gone, leave you alone and didn't answer your pray anymore because of what you've did 'that night'.

Once again you woke up with a sweat covering all of your body, and once again the feeling of fear to lose your angel filled your brain and body.

Dean Winchester, afraid of losing his guardian angel, the angel who at least Dean knew he's so much worth for him. Castiel, the Angel of Thursday.

Seem so pathetic, huh?

It's just Sam and you who sat in the cheap motel room. And for the past two hours he has tried to talked about Castiel which made your head spinning like a bitch. But then, your attention back to Sam when he said something.

"Dean I know," he said. No smirk on his face, he's so serious and there's a caring in his tone.

"Know what?"

"It's not just something, Dean. I know –"

"Sam, don't you dare to said it."

"But Dean, it's Castiel who we talked about. And you just –"

"Fuck it Sammy! Stop talking about Castiel, okay?"

"Dean, stop cutting my word and listen to me."

"Sam –"

"Dean. I know you don't like this chick-flick moment, right? But I know you knew so much how stubborn I am when it's about you and Cass. 'Cause, hell, it's you Dean! Both of you!" Before you could answer, Sam continuing his lesson, "So just listen to me. I know what you must do."

Finnaly, after got some heart to heart little chat with your little brother, you decided to clear your mess with Castiel tonight. So, after Sam has done his bussines with Castiel – discussed something about hunting – he leaved both of you with a 'need some research' as an excused.

Cass turn his back to you and muttering something about leave. But you caugh his hand and spund him around so you'll face to face with him.

"I need to talk."

"Dean I can't."

"Please Cass, just a couple of minutes, okay?"

He's just nodded silently and glance at your hand in his arm. Which cause you to let him go with "My bad" escaped from your lips.

You took a deep breath to collect your braveness and start talking, "It's about that night."

It's a long paused before Cass answer you with a question. "What night?"

And sadly, his question has broke your wall perfectly. So with just a single long sigh you said this to that nerdy angel. "Oh, come on Cass. That night! The night when we all – three of us – getting drunk, talking like shit, letting Sammy leaved us – both of us – be alone and ended up fucking together!"

Oh shit.

Great Dean, just fucking great. Now you ruin every-fucking-thing.

Without a warning Castiel step backward and planned to leave you. But your insting as a hunter is not just a story. You raised your hand to stoped him, spun him around for the second times and face him again.

You saw something on Castiel's blue eyes. Fear and shocked, and it made you remember about what Sam has told you before. "Just remember Dean, Castiel is not an ordinary angel, I know it will be too difficult to tell him about these feeling, your feeling. But please, be soft. He is so fragile about feeling, man. Believe me. So don't push him. Just tell him slowly, and steady. I know you can't but I hope you can."

"Dean, you're angry."

"Cass, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –"

"It's okay Dean. I was the one who must say sorry to you. I know you'll hate it. And I'm okay with that. I was prepared before. So –"

"Cass!" Castiel stop immediately, he show his shocked face again and it made you felt like dick. Fuck, sometimes there's nothing wrong with beeing a Sammy in a situation like this. "Castiel, just, please, listen to me."

He nodded again.

"I'm sorry for shouting you like a freaking chick and I didn't angry Cass, not at all. I just, confused. I have doubt, Cass."

"Dean, if you don't like it, it's okay. I, I know it's not a – what is it? Ah, a common situation, for an ordinary human to do such a thing like that."

"I don't dislike it Cass!" you shouted and made Castiel flinch. "Oh sorry, oh God, I, I just confused, because – hell, I don't know what must I do to you. And because of my stupid opinion that you, that you hate me after what was happened 'that night', so I can't talk to you."

Long paused, Castiel just tilt his head like always.

That made you took a deep breath "Cass, please don't hate me. Don't ever leave me again baby. Like what you did on Purgatory or, or when you leave us, leave me, to choose to stand your wing beside old Fred."

"I'll be here Dean. I tought you're the one who'll hate me."

You took a deep breath again. Your head spinning around, dizzy. You want to believed what you've heard before and you hoped it's not just a fucking dream which you've had every night. You want to stay awake, it's not a fucking dream anymore. It's real.

A smal laugh escaped from your lips. "God, Cass. I'll never ever hate you. 'Cause fuck, I love you baby."

"I love you too Dean."

You pull Castiel and hug him tighly like what you did on Purgatory. But this time he reply what you did and it made you love him even more.

Then you push him slowly to move your hand from his arm to cupped his cheeks. You pull him again and closed the distance.

So, with a small wishper, "I love you Cass, I really do love you." You pull him again and kiss him.

It's just a brief kiss at first, but when you heard a small moan and gasped escaped from Castiel mouth, you slid your tongue between Castiel teeth. Begging for move in. And for your pleasure, he droped his jaw to opened his mouth. Then the kiss become more passionate, blissfull, caring, and full of love.

"Hey Cass," you parted your kiss and face your angel who glance at you with his beautiful, sparkling ocean blue eyes. "I wish by God you'd stay."

"Of Course, Dean."

"So, wanna spent some night with me again?"

"I, would like that."