So, Funny Doesn't Pay The Bills, and Everything Has A Price,

are coming along very slowly (Plus my PC is going wacko, I'm on my Laptop)

So when I can't put those out I'll be working on this.
(Sigh)

Despite my best efforts to pace myself, I'm now working on 3 stories at once.

Rated T for swearing, drug use, and moderate violence.

Obviously I don't own Fallout 3, Bethesda, or any of the characters portrayed in this story. (Excluding Jacob and Alex). This story may contain events not canon to the game.

ENJOY!!!

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The light was blinding. I heard joyous yells of: "Surprise!" and, "Happy Birthday!" My father told me how proud he was but was cut off by the Overseer. Oh how I hated the Overseer. He gave me an all too well prepared speech about my being 10 and handed me a Pip-Boy 3000. I attached it to my wrist and began examining it. I quickly changed the color to blue rather than green. Why? Eh, I just don't like green. When I had finished I looked up to find Amata in front of me.

"Happy Birthday!" She said. I pretended to care about what she said until she gave me a Grognak the Barbarian comic book. I said thanks and continued my search for gifts. Old Lady Palmer gave me a sweet roll, Stanley a baseball cap, and Butch and co. just acted like idiots. I soon saw my cake. A magnificent blend of ingredients. Ingredients so scarce in Vault 101 that they were reserved for certain birthdays. Ages: 6, 10, 18, 30, 50 and 80. I couldn't wait to bite into the… ANDY!!! NO!!! The robot's saw blade attachment was soon brought down onto the cake, splattering it everywhere. My jaw fell wide open as I heard Andy apologize in his distinct British accent.

In my disappointment, I ended up sitting down next to Butch's gang, not realizing it. Butch got up and gave me an evil eye until I looked at him. "I'm hungry, and that stupid robot ruined the cake! Gimme that sweet roll you got from Old Lady Palmer!" Butch said in his snotty little tone. Oh how I hated that tone. I was mad so I stood as well, getting up into Butch's face.

"Oh you do look hungry." I said sarcastically. I was about to attack his most vulnerable point. "What? Did your mom drink up all the ration coupons again?" And there it was. A thing of beauty indeed. Butch tightened his fists, looking ready to pound my head in. He drew his fist back but before he had a chance to hit me, He was thrown to the ground. My older brother stood there. I smiled. Jacob, my brother, looked at me, frowning. He quietly told me to stop getting into trouble as Officer Gomez rushed over. Jacob began talking to Gomez about how it was self defense and etc.

Jacob was 5 years older than me. Naturally, we weren't the best of friends, but Jacob always had my back on anything. Soon my dad called me over and said there was a surprise waiting for me and to go see Jonas on the reactor level. I did so, avoiding Beatrice on the way out. She was extremely creepy. I made it into the reactor level safely and saw Jonas. "What are you doing down here young man? I thought kids weren't allowed on the reactor level." He said jokingly. I played along.

"Hey! I'm not a kid! I'm ten years old remember?" I replied. Jonas laughed.

"Oh that's right. Anyways, why don't you just wait for a second? I'm sure your Dad will want to give you your surprise himself. Dad soon walked down the stairs and faced me.

"Are you ready for your surprise?" He asked.

"What kind of surprise?"

"Well here you go: Your own BB gun!" Dad gave me the tough plastic gun and I stared at it. I looked at him and grinned. "Well what do you think?"

"Dad this is awesome! Thank you so much!" He smiled. Jonas then opened a door revealing a sort of miniature shooting range. I quickly ran in.

"You can shoot here any time you like. C'mon now." Dad said. I nodded and began aiming at one of the targets. I hit it and it made a satisfying "ping" before swinging around and resetting itself. When I tried to shoot again it didn't work. Dad explained the lever-action style of the BB gun and I understood. When I took a closer look it reminded me of the Old West movies I'd seen in the Vault archives. It was a fond memory. Dad used all his item coupons on things for me. Anyhow, back to the moment at hand. I hit the other two targets and as if on cue, a Radroach popped out of nowhere. I realized my chance and shot at the Radroach, killing it in a few shots.

Dad laughed. "Nice work son. Hey Jonas, get a picture of me with the big game hunter." We all laughed as Jonas took the picture. Such a fond memory…

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6 years later….

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Jacob and I were lying on our beds on opposite sides of the room. I was studying and he was reading an old copy of Pugilism Illustrated. Today was the G.O.A.T test. The Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test. It would decide my fate. Would I be the next Overseer? Or would I be a measly fry cook? Who knows? I hoped to become the Vault's next Tattoo artist. It would be an interesting job to say the least. I stood up and looked in the mirror. I was tall and thin. Jacob always said I didn't eat enough. My hair was long, brown, and unkempt. It reached to about my shoulders, The Overseer made sure it didn't go further down then that. I also didn't often shave; leaving my face hairy. I was always finding small ways to distance myself from the others. Why? I just didn't like being normal. Normal is boring.

Jacob got up and stood next to me. He was taller than me, and well built. He was spending all of his time working out. His hair was short and gelled back. Jacob was always well shaved. We were opposites. He put his bulky hand on my shoulder and smiled. "C'mon bro, the G.O.A.T is waiting for you." I nodded and started walking out. "Don't forget to talk to dad before going." I nodded again and walked out the door. I turned the corner into dad's office.

"Oh, hey son. On your way to take the G.O.A.T eh?" He asked.

"Yeah dad. I just stopped in to say hi." I replied.

"Well that was nice of you but you'd best be off. The G.O.A.T will start with or without you." Dad said. I sighed and nodded.

"I'll see you later." As I exited the room I saw Jonas go in. I waved and continued. Once I started towards the classroom I saw Amata surrounded by Butch and his stupid gang: The Tunnel Snakes. They were essentially three Ne'er-do-wells in leather jackets. I really didn't want to but I did anyways. I tapped Butch on the shoulder and when he turned around I punched him in the face, sending him to the ground with a bloody nose. Wally Mack and Paul Hannon just stared at me as I walked into the classroom. After a minute or so Amata and the Tunnel Snakes entered the classroom. Butch had a wad of toilet paper shoved up his nose. He sat in the very back of the classroom, with the other two idiots. I sat up front, away from them. Amata sat behind me.

"Thanks for getting rid of those assholes Alex." She said silently as Mr. Brotch began explaining the test.

"No problem, I hate those guys." I told her. "It was really just an excuse for me to hit Butch in the face." She laughed as Mr. Brotch finished his speech.

The G.O.A.T's questions were all nonsensical multiple choice questions with no wrong answers. I had finished the test before Mr. Brotch even got to the last question. I then checked over my answers, making sure that they were something a tattoo artist would do. I breathed a sigh of relief as I handed the test to Mr. Brotch once it was over. He looked over my answers and said that I was going to be the Vault's new disposal specialist. On the inside I was devastated. But on the outside I kept cool. "Yeah well I just answered randomly. Is that how you got stuck with your job?" I said.

"Closer to the truth then you might think son." He replied chuckling. Brotch looked around; making sure nobody was paying attention and said: "Just between you and me, the whole test is a joke. If you want, I can make your test come out any way you want." I gave a devilish grin.

"You make me a tattoo artist and I'll be in your debt Brotch." He smiled and nodded. Telling me to leave before someone got suspicious. I did, feeling good about the future….

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3 years later…

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"Wake up!" My eyes darted open. Amata and Jacob were standing next to my bed. All I could think was: Uh oh.

"What is it guys?" I asked. For once I was genuinely worried.

"It's dad." Jacob replied. "He left the Vault." I was frozen for a second.

"But the door's sealed! It has been for 200 years!" I yelled. I never lost my calm like this. But something like this had never happened.

"Not anymore." Jacob told me. As if it were that simple.

"Look," Amata began. "My father's men are looking for you right now. They already killed Jonas! You have to get out of here!"

"Where can we go?" I asked.

"The only place you can go is with your dad, into the Wasteland." Amata explained. I thought for a moment. It was a hard decision. I had spent my entire life underground, hiding in the Vault like some kind of rat. Live or die. I made my decision.

"Let's go." I said bluntly.

"Alright." Amata explained that in her father's office was a terminal that opened up a secret tunnel leading to the Vault door. She gave me a few bobby pins and a screwdriver to pick the lock on his door. "Oh and here. I stole my father's pistol. I just hope you won't have to use it." I nodded and took the pistol plus three clips. "I'll try to meet you at the Vault door but don't wait for me." Amata quickly ran off. I sighed and picked up a messenger style bag.

"What're you doin'?" Jacob asked.

"We're going to need some things if we're gonna survive out there." I replied. I stuffed the First Aid Kit and two extra jumpsuits into my bag. "You grab some stuff too." He picked up a similar bag and did the same. I picked up my baseball bat and looked at it. I tossed it to Jacob and he smiled. "In case of Radroaches." I continued my search for useful items. "BB gun?" I asked.

"Yeah." Jacob said. I loaded the BB gun and stuffed it in my bag as well.

"Looks like we got anything that might be useful. Let's see what we got." In total they had 3 jumpsuits each, 10 stimpacks, 2 syringes of Med-X, a baseball bat, a BB gun with 50 BBs, a 10mm pistol with 36 rounds (3 clips), and 3 bottles of purified water. "Alright, let's go."

I had a sick feeling in my stomach as I stepped through the door. Jacob and I stood side-by-side, ready for anything. When we started down the hall, Officer Kendall rounded the corner shouting: "There they are! Hold it right there!" He was promptly attacked by a group of Radroaches and killed. I felt bad but there was no time to mourn. Jacob smashed all of the Radroaches with his baseball bat, barely breaking a sweat. He shook his head when he looked at Officer Kendall's body.

"Pathetic." He said. He began pulling off Kendall's clothes.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled.

"We need it more than him." Jacob replied bluntly. I sighed knowing it was true. Jacob pulled on Kendall's boots, security vest, and helmet, putting the police baton in his bag. The two of us moved through the Vault, knowing where we had to go, knowing what we had to do. Before long, we were interrupted again. Butch ran in front of us.

"Guys! You gotta help me!" Butch shouted. He looked extremely worried. Going against all of my instincts to push him out of the way and keep moving, I asked what was wrong. "It's my mom! She's trapped in there with the Radroaches!" It was ironic but I wouldn't stand around and watch someone else die.

"Fine Butch. We'll help your mom. But we're doing this for your mom, not you."

"Fine, fine, just save her!" Jacob and I rushed into Butch's room and saw his mom being attacked by the Radroaches that Butch mentioned. I took out my BB gun and shot one to death while Jacob smashed the other two. Butch was grinning and cheering as he helped his mother up. "You really did it! You guys are the best friends I've ever had man! You know what? It ain't much but here. Take my Tunnel Snakes Jacket." Butch then parted with his beloved leather jacket, adorned with the symbol of the Tunnel Snakes. Butch left after that to try to comfort his mother. Jacob and I looked at each other and shrugged. I put on the jacket over my jumpsuit, if only to offer a bit more protection.

The two of us soon sped out of there, rushing down Vault 101's various hallways and corridors. We were almost to the Atrium when we were stopped by Officer Gomez. He explained that everything had gone crazy, warned us to be careful, and went on a frenzy of Radroach killing. He and Andy together killed about ten of the little buggers. Realizing an opportunity Jacob and I ran into dad's old office. It had been gone through already, many things scattered everywhere, but there were still things to be found. We got ourselves 3 more stimpacks, 2 syringes of Med-X, and 2 packages of Mentats. We then went off on our not so merry way.

In the Atrium we had the displeasure of watching Tom and Mary Holden get shot down by several officers. We then ran into several Radroaches and were forced into a confrontation with Security Chief Hannon. Jacob managed to knock him unconscious with a smack to the head with his baseball bat. As we kept running we passed the Security Office. I heard voices. I shushed Jacob and we peered into the window. The Overseer and Officer Mack were clearly trying to squeeze some information out of Amata. Officer Mack was starting to get aggressive. I began getting angry. I thought of how Mack had brutally murdered Jonas. I walked slowly to the door of the room, Jacob telling me to stop. But before anyone could stop me, I pushed the button, opening the door.

Mack raised his baton, as though to strike Amata. This was more than enough to push me over the edge. I raised my pistol, and with no hesitation, pulled the trigger. The bullet flew straight and true, hitting Mack directly in the back of the head. His now limp body fell to the ground. Amata escaped unharmed and The Overseer sat in the corner of the room, trying to keep his cool. Jacob was speechless at what I had just done. I then stepped up to The Overseer. "You had better have a damn good explanation for that young ma…" He was interrupted by my shoving my gun in his face.

"Shut the hell up you son of a bitch. If you ever so much as touch Amata again, you're gonna look just like Mack over there." He didn't look phased but I could tell that his brain had just shitted itself.

"I must do what is right for the Vault." He said firmly.

"Jacob." I said, keeping my eyes on The Overseer. "Check around, see if there's anything good. He nodded and began searching through the various lockers in the room. "Now then, just give me the keys to your office and terminal and I'll be going. Do we have a deal?" I asked in a cold voice. The Overseer stared at me with a look of pure hatred. He put a key and piece of paper into my hand.

"I don't want you anywhere near this Vault ever again, understand?" I nodded and turned away. Only to turn back and pistol whip him, knocking him unconscious. I found several Stimpacks and a police baton on him, stuffing them in my bag, I looked at Jacob.

"What'd you find?" I asked. Jacob grinned.

"Well while you were having your little chit chat with the Overseer, I found us another 2 sets of security armor with matching police batons and helmets, and 5 more Stimpacks." He replied grinning.

"Great." I said. "We'll get going in a sec."

"Why not now?" He asked. I stepped into the holding cell and splashed my face with water from the sink.

"Because we both need a second to rest, that's why." I told him. I drank some of the water and collapsed on the bed. Jacob did the same. We laid there for just under a minute while I thought about killing Mack. It was so satisfying at that moment but left a bad taste. Like dark chocolate. Why was I comparing murder to dark chocolate? Whatever. Anyways, we got up and walked down the hall to the Overseers office. Along the way, we saw Jonas' dead body. It was sad for us both. His lifeless body slumped over on the floor. To my disgust, Jacob began searching him. I was angry at the fact but as Jacob had said before, we needed it more than him. Jacob found 2 Stimpacks and a Holotape. We agreed to listen to it later. Before going into the Overseer's office, we ransacked his and Amata's rooms. In the Overseers room we found a clip of 10mm ammo and a separate key to his office. As we searched Amata's drawers we found some bobby pins and I sort of… Uh… Stumbled onto her underwear drawer… But that's beside the point.

As we entered the Overseer's office I set about opening the secret tunnel while Jacob again ransacked the lockers. When I entered the code the Overseer's desk rose up and out, revealing a set of stairs leading into the ground. Jacob laughed as he finished his miniature raid through the locker. When I asked what was so funny, he showed me several packages of Mentats. "The Overseer's a junkie!" We both laughed as he packed away the Mentats and another 10 clips of 10mm ammo.

We quickly ran through the lower levels of the Vault, running into a few Radroaches before making our way to the Vault door. It was magnificent in a way. About 15 feet tall and 8 feet thick of pure steel. I quickly found the control pad and made the climactic pull of the lever that opened the door. A siren went off as the door slid open to the side. Before I realized it, Amata was at our side. We all stared at the door until it fully opened, pulling us out of our trance. Amata looked at me, her face a mixture of sadness and surprise. "I guess you're leaving." She said. I nodded. "Well, good luck."

"Thanks." I replied. There was an awkward silence. We hugged each other and I turned to leave with Jacob. "Bye." Jacob and I ran down the large hallway beyond the Vault door. The cave-like entrance was littered with dead bodies. Several carried signs, saying things like: "HELP!" Or "We're dying out here assholes!" It was funny but also sad.

There was a door at the end of the tunnel. After taking a deep breath, I opened it.

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WOW!
That was a long chapter.

I'm really caught up in this story right now so I'll probably update pretty frequently.

Read and review my friends!