Rose clicked the 'forward' button on the remote once more as the Doctor, or John as he had come to be known in the parallel universe, halted in the hallway beside the living room.

"Miles, Regis, and I are going down to the pub. Sure you don't wanna come?" He sounded hopeful, as he always did when he asked Rose to come somewhere with him. But her answer was always the same.

"I'm sure." She clicked again. "Don't forget to lock the door if I'm asleep when you get home."

The Doctor pulled his jacket tighter around him, and zipped it up. He strolled into the living room, leaned down and kissed Rose gently on the top of her head. Silently, he walked back into the hall, opened the front door, and, tossing the glow from the tv a reproachful glance, stepped out into the crisp-aired evening.

Miles and Regis were already on their 2nd pints at the pub- Miles was ranting about the latest football game, while Regis just nodded along silently. When they saw the Doctor walk in, they both smiled and motioned for him to join them.

"Hey, there he is! Shall I order you a pint mate?", Miles asked, snapping out of his gruff ranting.

"Yeah, yeah sure", John replied, sliding into their booth. Regis took a bite from a half-burnt, half-soggy chip and tossed the burnt bit back into the basket in front of him. John helped himself to one.

"No Rose again, then?" Regis asked offhandedly.

John shook his head.

"She's going out with her mum tonight."

Miles and Regis exchanged a look.

"What?", John questioned, chewing his chip slowly. "Her and her mum hang out all the time, it's normal."

"Are you two all right?" Regis popped another soggy chip into his mouth.

John stared into his pint glass. We were, he thought.

"We're fine."

"Talk to us, mate."

John looked up, a lump forming in his throat. He had the two best mates in the world, he never denied that. But he sometimes wondered if they only asked to feed off of his emotional frustrations, the way women fed off of gossip.

"Just another rough patch, that's all."

Miles finished off his drink, and ordered another. "John, you can't keep going on like this. You two need help."

"No we don't. We're fine. She'll get over it. We'll pull through, we did before." His mind froze, memories of the last time they'd had 'problems'. It was in the weeks following the day the Doctor left Rose with him in that parallel universe- Rose had gone into a depression and hardly spoke to him. There was an awkward silence every time he would kiss her. She'd try to smile, but he could see the pain in her eyes - he could hardly bare it. They had thought that moving in together would help things along, but it had only made the pain worse for the both of them.

"Look…" Miles scooted forward in his seat, folding his arms across the table. "My brother knows this bloke…a councilor...maybe he can help."

"And how would I explain? You two are the only ones who know who I really am, how I got here. Imagine me…'Oh, I'm a clone.' I'll be sent off for a whole 'nother type of counseling."

Miles cracked a smile. "Come on, John. Think about it."

"No, Miles."

"You know, he's right, John." Regis had finally finished his chips and decided to pipe in. "You guys should see someone."

John gripped his glass tightly as he finished his drink off. He could feel the frustration and sense of loss boiling up inside him again. He needed to get away and think. He set his glass down, and stood up.

"Where you going?" Miles asked, surprised.

"For a walk. I'll catch you guys later."

The Doctor grabbed his coat, and without another word, strode out of the pub into the street. There was no one around, it was nearly 11 o'clock at night- the town was asleep. The only sound was of the occasional cricket and his own heavy footsteps on the cobblestone ground. He dug his hands into his pockets, trudging onward through his thoughts. Should he and Rose get help? But what would be the point? He wasn't the one she wanted. But she was the one he wanted.

He gritted his teeth and turned the corner. The night seemed to be growing colder, or maybe it was just his heart. He felt so cold, so helpless- what should he do about Rose? He needed her, but she didn't seem to care about him at all. He wished he could find the Doctor and convince him to take her back. Convince him to break the curse of the Time Lords. And as for him? He'd stay in the parallel world, find someone new. If he could. Or maybe there was a way he could get the Doctor to reverse the metacrisis, make it so he had never been born in the first place. Donna would never have needed to have her mind cleared either, all would be right again.

He stopped at a shop window and stared at his reflection. This wasn't his face- this was the face of a man that already existed. A great man, a man the love of his life adored and longed to be with. The man who was really the one reflected in Rose's eyes, not him, not John. He scowled at the face gazing back at him. He knew what he had to do, he knew what would make Rose happy again.

He needed to contact the Doctor, and eliminate himself from the situation.

He watched as the light in his and Rose's flat switched on as he turned the corner down the block. A shadowy figure crossed the room behind the blinds and disappeared from view. A lamplight flickered on - Rose always read until the late hours of the night. Her and her celebrity magazines. John smiled to himself. Though she opposed the idea of them sharing a room, he had always secretly watched her through the window whenever he returned from his late night strolls through the neighborhood. The way she slowly examined each page before turning it gently with her fingers – it became mesmerizing. Every fiber of his being yearned to be sitting next to her, to hold her, to be there with her through all hours of the night. Instead, he was confined to a futon in the study, all alone. Occasionally, the nights when the tension would build between Rose and himself, he'd ring up Miles and sleep on his couch. John's stomach twisted – he had to leave, and soon. He had to find the Doctor and he had to do it now.

Approaching the door to their flat, he pulled his key out from his coat pocket and stuck it in the lock. The door opened with a click, and he tip-toed in. A low voice murmured from Rose's bedroom, making John stop briefly. Her voice kicked up again after a long pause.

"He's still not home. He does this all the time… just disappears for hours with his mates."

There was another pause. Then her voice became more somber.

"Well I do worry about him, about what he could get up to when I'm not around. This universe is under just as many threats as any other, anything could-" she stopped abruptly. John had accidently leaned on the door handle, not realizing the door wasn't closed all the way. The door swung open slightly, briefly revealing his face in the crack. Rose caught his eye from the bed, her mobile pressed to her ear.

"He's home, mum, I've gotta go. I'll give you a ring tomorrow, yeah? Send my love to dad and Tony. Yeah, right, bye."

She flipped her phone closed as John quickly turned away towards the study.

"John", her voice called quietly.

John slowly turned back towards the doorway. Rose sat staring at the sheets, fiddling with her phone in her hands. She glanced up briefly.

John gripped the doorknob and pushed the door open further.

"Sorry, I was just- I heard you talking…"

"It's fine. Did you have a good time?" Rose still did not look him in the eye.

John leaned against the doorframe.

"Would have been better if I hadn't left you on such a bad note."

Rose's head shot up.

"You didn't leave me on a bad note, what are you going on about?"

"Things have been…off, lately, haven't they?"

Rose shrugged, pretending not to know what he was talking about.

"Look, I know I'm not him-"

Rose sighed.

"John, we've had this conversation before."

"Yeah but I know what to do now." He looked away. "I have to go. I have to…to find him."

Rose jumped off the bed her eyes fixed on John.

"What are you saying?" She sounded near tears.

John crossed his arms across his chest and stared at the beige carpet.

"I know it's him you want. Don't try telling me you're happy, 'cause I can tell you're not. You want him, and I want this to have a happy ending - for both of us."

Rose bit her lip, unable to believe what she was hearing.

"You can't leave- you can't…" she fought back tears. John heard her whimper and finally looked up. Part of him told him to just leave, but another part of him won him over – the part of him that wanted to give Rose one last chance to change his mind.

"Who's it gonna be, Rose?" His voice was fierce with desperation for the truth.

Rose shifted awkwardly. Without another word, she ran across the room and threw her arms around his waist and wrapped them under his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder, her tears leaving dark blotches on the fabric of his coat.

John responded, wrapping his arms tightly around her, but waited. He needed to hear it.

"Rose?"

Rose lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him through watery eyes. She hesitated for a moment, then raised herself on her tip-toes, inching her face closer and closer to his. He lowered his face, leaving his mouth open just enough to take in her slow, slightly unsteady breathing. Rose gazed into his eyes briefly before pressing her lips to his, holding them there.

They swayed slightly on the spot before Rose pulled back first.

He gazed back into Rose's eyes, which were still sparkling with tears.

"You," Rose spoke through a choked voice.

John placed his finger under her chin, stroking it with his thumb.

"It's always going to be you…" She sniffed. "It's just taken me a while to accept things, you know…"

"I know", John spoke softly. "It's been difficult for me too." He pulled Rose closer, feeling her chest slightly rub against his as she breathed.

Rose's muffled voice spoke after a brief silence.

"John?"

"Hmm?"

Rose separated herself from his hold, but grabbed hold of his forearms, looking intently into his eyes. He wasn't who she'd fallen in love with so long ago, but she still loved him. And every fiber of her being wanted things to work out. She needed him, and he needed her.

She hesitated, sucking on her bottom lip.

"Could you… sleep with me tonight?"

John glanced nervously towards the bed.

"What, in here? Won't the gods strike us down with lightning if I don't sleep in the study?" he joked.
Rose rolled her eyes, cracking a smile.

John considered for a moment before looking back at Rose.

"If you want me to-"

"I do."

With that, John took Rose by the waist and walked her the few feet back to her bed. He lifted her gently and placed her onto the bed, and began pulling the blankets up around her. He kissed her forehead, then her cheek. Just as he was about to sit up, Rose reached up and grasped the hair on the back of his head, forcing his face closer. As their lips met, John smiled.

"Come on, you, get to sleep."

Rose groaned playfully and let him go.

Not bothering to fetch his pajamas from the study closet, John slipped off his shoes and jacket and slid under the blankets on the other side of Rose. He punched his pillow and turned onto his side, facing Rose, who had already turned onto her side and was watching him get settled.

"Comfy?" she asked.

John closed his eyes and nodded. "Very. Been a while since I've slept in a proper bed." He flashed back to when he, or rather the real Doctor, had made himself human to hide from the Family of Blood. Even then, that bed wasn't nearly as comfortable as this one.

The sudden awareness that Rose was moving her body closer to his broke him away from his thoughts.

She was now sliding her arms around him under the covers, hugging him close.

John mirrored her, wrapping one arm over her side and under the other side, and placing his other arm between his head and the pillow.

Maybe he didn't need to find the Doctor just yet.