A/N: I find myself writing yet another shipping parody. I'm really sorry, fandom. I love you to death, but I want to make a point. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Please review!
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The nations were all situated in their natural habitat: a world meeting. Since they weren't there for anything important, they were doing what any rational person would do when faced with boredom: fighting as violently as physically possible.
Because who cares about diplomacy?
Nobody in the room was causing more property damage than England and France, however.
"Frog!"
"Black sheep of Europe!"
"Bloody frog!"
"Honhonhon black sheep of Europe!"
Soon, every other nation realized that they had jobs! You'd think that being a personification of an entire nation would come with zero responsibilities, amiright?
Sadly, France and England had not yet come to this startling epiphany, and were still duking it out with their ever-so-creative insults.
"Bloody wanker git jolly-bad-show git wanker git wanker weak-iced-tea wanker git wanker git frog!"
"Honhonhonhonhonwinehonhonhonhonhonhon black sheep of Europe! We should fuck!"
"Wait, what?!" England was very understandably surprised by France's sudden proposition.
"Why the bloody hell would you say that?!"
"We've been fighting for hours! That's what enemies do, since all hatred is obviously sexual tension between characters. Honhonhonhonhonhonhonhon!"
"Baka!" England said, because the situation was perfectly appropriate for randomly insulting other people in Japanese. He blushed, because we all know he secretly harbors sexual desires for France. That's why he fights him all the time.
"I'll be gentle..." France said, winking very sexually. Because everything France does is sexual. Even breathing.
So they fucked. Right there. In the middle of the (thankfully empty) meeting room. Over and over again.
Because that's how any sane, rational, normal person would behave.
THE END