Dances With the Devil
Disclaimer: No matter how much I wish, I still don't own Naruto series, and I never will. Masashi Kishimoto is already the happy holder of that spot.
Pairings: Sasuke/Sai, really, what were you expecting from me?
Rating: M
Summary: "He knows it will hurt too much, and Sai will fall and break, and Sasuke won't be able to pick the pieces and put them together, and so will no one."
The Uchiha isn't quite sure of what lead to this weird arrangement, if it can be called so.
Sasuke is considered a criminal, scum, society's leftovers of dignity, if as much; and he knows this, more so when he is seen through the eyes of someone who is supposed to eliminate the garbage like him from the face of this world. He doesn't deserve his dignity as a human being; not after he swore to kill his own brother, not after he betrayed his friends and all he could call friendship in sake of power, not after he killed the source of said power, not after he managed to kill his own brother to discover he should have not done so, and definitely not after he has made his up for killing his boss.
But not quite.
Not quite.
The first time the Uchiha sees him after their first meeting it is quite different than before. He is alone, Sasuke doesn't know why, perhaps for the sake of a mission, and Orochimaru is away. (Obviously, the curses obviously directed to Sasuke slipped under the teeth of Kabuto are still heard in the shade of the hallways, but nowadays he doesn't notice much of what the Uchiha does.) This gives him much more freedom. Supposedly he is an assassin, and he is supposed to kill him, but he doesn't. The pale man doesn't even see a reason why he should justify his actions. In that hellhole of a hideout (a new one, since last time Sasuke blew his bedroom up for something of a rude awakening) Sasuke feels locked up, and all sense of hope and sanity is gone.
However, that is also the first time they do it together. It's funny, Sasuke thinks, how the heat of battle can be so easily turned into the heat of the body slicked with desire, just with a movement, it's like it is a dance akin to sword mastery. The Uchiha is good with swords – he knows this. But he didn't know he could be so inventive with them. The other is just as good with swords, and he attempts to run him through with his tip-less blade. The dance changes, a rhythmic tune, and so do the weapons. He does admit to himself it was too short, too short lived – he had moved too fast, too rushed to enjoy it like he should. Until he comes, and then it is raw pleasure ringing xylophones up and down his spine; and when he doesn't know which name to cry out under his breath he says none, and only cries a strangled moan.
The aftermath is complete detachment, and he wraps himself in silence in his own arms and away from Sasuke. The Uchiha arranges his own clothing, the other doesn't. When he tries to say an apology, the other stops him, and when Sasuke stumbles on his name with hesitation, for it is sure to have changed, he gives it, "Sai".
Throughout the season that goes by until Orochimaru's body starts decaying in some other hideout, they meet again some more times. It would be easy to imagine that for two shinobi working for two entirely different purposes that go through the same exact methods it would be quite hard to find each other. However, faith, luck, or simply Sasuke choosing his spots deliberately, end up in having them meeting many times over. And so it goes on again.
They don't speak much, but when they do it is simple words, a game of words in which Sai just seems to give him yet another hint on how to kill his target; it seems their interests are often coincident. Sasuke notices how Sai removes his forehead protector whenever he helps the Uchiha and how he puts it once more when he becomes the nameless assassin working for Danzou; it's like some sort of fucked up way of loyalty to the village.
Then, there are countless dead, white snakes rotting in the room of Orochimaru and the hunched shadows of Kabuto mourning in the hallways.
Sasuke makes his own little squad, but these little meetings still go on.
Sometimes, it is Sasuke who goes after Sai, a little solace. Sometimes, it is Sai who chases him underneath the rain and calls his name in ways too erotic to be reality. The other times, it is the both of them who naturally converge. He knows those moments the both of them are supposed to be taking actions to undermine each other. However, the both of them can't bring themselves to do it. But still, Sasuke is selfish, and he cries Sai's loss, his own victory, and prevents his happiness. Because every thing that he learns about perfection is realizing how imperfect the Uchiha is, and a step away from him, from his cold embrace. But, deep inside, every of Sasuke's actions is to make him see exactly that, to defeat himself and make the strings that tie them as frail as possible, so it won't hurt Sai as much as it would.
Still, none of them seems to mind when they actually whisper sweet nothings in each other's ear on their way down to earth, instead of broken silences; nor do they mind holding each other, nor a soft caress amidst the violence of thrusting. It is something that seems to keep the both of them going.
However, the Uchiha doesn't wish it were his mission to kill Danzou, and hurt Sai. And he definitely regrets getting in too deep, and dragging Sai on his way down. He knows it will hurt too much, and Sai will fall and break, and Sasuke won't be able to pick the pieces and put them together, and so will no one.
So, Sasuke regrets every time he feels Sai tenses around him and moans in ways he thought impossible, and he regrets that the syllables he can make up tumbling down from the soft lips of his are the broken sounds of the Uchiha's own name. And he loathes himself that every time he treats Sai like porcelain and worships his body with his hands, and whispers that he loves him, he truly does, and every time he loathes himself for those being wholly heartfelt and true.
Finis. (23-04-2010)
…I know I should be writing Crash Into Me.
This is an old idea I had swimming around in my fishbowl head, and I decided to give it priority since I like it and since I easily forget ideas if I don't write them out. Besides, this is a little gift for the two ladies who inspire me, the two amazing Masked-Writer-In-Disguise and Red Riding Freak, you girls rock. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading, peeps. Tell me what I think about it in a review, okay? Wanted: reviews, preferably alive.
Over and out, my darling dears. :D