Like We Never Loved at All, a gilmore girls fanfic

AN: I got the idea to use this song a few days before Luke suggested it in the episode last night. It broke my heart to write this. I love Luke and Lorelai together and I think that Luke was totally wrong in what he said last night. They do so belong together. They are right for each other. Amy had written it that way since day two! The song is "Like We Never Loved at All" by Tim and Faith.

It was the night of the Firelight Festival. For the first time in 21 years, Lorelai Gilmore was going by herself. Rory was busy at school and wasn't able to get away for the weekend. She had no one plan a cart to cart attack with, no one to watch Taylor and the others on the committee try to find matches. It was yet another Firelight Festival that she was alone during. Since she and Luke had broken off their engagement, Lorelai had not been herself.

She was walking past JoJo's burger stand when she saw him. He was walking with April. They were laughing and seemed to be having a great time together.

You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath the city lights
There walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon

She waved over at them but he didn't acknowledge her. He kept walking and talking with April. It broke her heart to see him this cold to her. Did he not know that this separation was slowly killing her? She hated being away from him. She hated everything without him in her life.

I swear you looked right through me
But I'm still living with your goodbye
And you're just goin' on with you life

Lorelai kept walking as thoughts were jumping around in her mind. She shoukd have spoken up sooner about being a part of April's life. She should have said something when he said he wanted to postpone the wedding. She should have said she loved him and not that necklace. She should have said that she was hurt that he would take a bag from Anna, but wouldn't let her go shopping for one.

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye?
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

Nothing in her life had been right since the split. People in town wouldn't look at her. Those who would glared. Their looks seemed to say, "How could you crush him like that?" But none of it mattered.

You, I hear you're doin' fine
Seems like you're doin' well
As far as I can tell

The only thing that mattered to her now was moving on with her life. There had to be someone else out there. Someone who she could love. She had tried with Christopher. But she could never see him as the man he had become but as that gawky, sweet boy she had known in high school. She wanted the man who had loved her for the woman that she was now, not the sixteen year old girl who just happened to have his kid. She wanted to be more than that. She wanted to be with Luke.

Time is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still I haven't laughed yet
So tell me what you're secret is
(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)
To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did

She had so much invested in her life with Luke. They had redone her house so they could live there. She had sacrificed so much to be with him. She wanted to be with Luke so badly that it kept her up at night. Dreams of their life together were the only thing she had now. Dreams. Wishes. Hopes. She had nothing tangible to hold onto anymore.

She did have one thing that she could hold onto. Her ring. The ring that she had worn on her left hand with pride. Whenever the pain of him being gone got to be too strong she would go to her Luke boxes and find her ring and slip it back onto her hand. Then she would go into her closet and put her perfect dress back on and stare at herself in the mirror. Like Drew Barrymore in The Wedding Singer she would practice her greeting for people.

"Hi. I'm Mrs. Luke Danes," she would say. "Luke and I are so happy you could come to our wedding."

One night Luke was out walking, trying to clear his head of the thoughts that still wouldn't leave, he saw her standing at her mirror, in her dress talking to herself. She had the door open and he could hear what she was saying.

"I'm pleased to meet you. I'm Lorelai Danes. My husband Luke will be along soon."

He stood under the tree in the driveway watching her for several minutes. He still loved her. He wanted her to know that. He wanted her to know how much he still needed her in his life. He just wanted to be everywhere that she was. He hated not knowing what was going on with Rory in her last year at Yale. It killed him to not know what the little girl he liked to think he had a hand in raising was doing.

Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion? (Passion)
Did you ever miss me?
Ever long to kiss me?

Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

But they both had made a descion to be apart. So for now they had to act like they had never loved at all.

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye?
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that's just you way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all