Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with CSI or the Backstreet Boys…damn it.
I Just Want You To Know
Nick sighed heavily as he walked into his apartment, shaking the rain from his hair. Today had been a bad day. In fact, the entire week had been bad. He and Sara had broken up a week ago, and she had taken a 2 week leave to get some space.
Nick hadn't wanted to break up. He was happier with Sara then he had ever been. After a particularly hard case, Sara has lost it. She had gone off on an abusive father during an interrogation and had once again gotten in trouble with Ecklie. When Nick had tried to comfort her she broke down. She went on and on about how she wasn't good enough for him, how she was too much of a handful, how she didn't want to burden him with all of her baggage. She had instantly broken off the relationship, telling him that he should go and find himself a girl that could give him the life and the family that he really wanted. If only she knew what he wanted.
He had given her some space that night, hoping that it would all have blown over by the next shift, but when he got to work that night he found that she had take a leave of absence. Grissom assured him that she had promised to return and that she just needed some time away to clear her head, but that didn't stop him for worrying. Today ended the first week of her leave and he had been miserable. He had tried to call her a few times but had gotten no response. He wasn't even sure if she was still in town. Grissom had said that she didn't mention any travel plans.
Throwing his jacket over a chair he went into the kitchen to grab a beer. He flopped down on the couch and turned on the radio. The DJ announced that they were taking requests and dedications – suddenly, Nick got an idea.
Sara sat by the window and watched the rain pelt the streets of Las Vegas. It was fitting; the weather was dark and gloomy – just like her mood. The past week had been hell. She didn't really want to take the time off of work, but she felt like she didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. She couldn't face Nick. She didn't want to break off their relationship, but she felt like it was the best thing to do for him. He deserved better then the emotional, baggage carrying, basket case that she was. She was sure that by now he must have realized that she was right, and that he was out on the town picking up someone new.
She was brought out of her thoughts by the beeping of her cell phone. She had received a text message. Getting up from her comfortable position by the window to check her phone, she found that the message was from Nick. She was torn. She couldn't decide whether or not to open it. What could he possibly have to say? That he missed her? That he wanted to see her? That he was over her and was getting on with his life? No hard feelings? After a few more minutes of contemplating she flipped open her phone. The message wasn't anything that she had expected. All it said was, "101.9." She instantly recognized the digits as her favorite radio station.
Her curiosity got the better of her. She went into her bedroom and turned on her radio. She curled up on her bed and hugged the pillow, which used to be Nick's, to her chest while she listened to the song that was currently being played. The DJ began to speak as the song ended,
"Our next song goes out from Nick to Sara. Sara I hope that you are listening tonight because this guy really seems to miss you. When I asked if there was anything that he wanted me to tell you, he said that he just hoped that this song would be all that you would need to hear. This is 'Just Want You to Know' by the Backstreet Boys going out from Nick to Sara."
Looking at your picture from when we first met Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go That since I lost you, I lost myself I just want you to know That I've been fighting to let you go
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
No I can't fake it, there's no one else
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
The DJ started talking again when the song was over, but Sara wasn't paying attention to him. She was wiping the tears from her eyes and thinking about the lyrics of the song. Nick was still thinking about her. He still wanted her. How could she have been so stupid? Without a second thought, Sara grabbed her keys and ran out to her truck, not even bothering to grab a jacket to protect herself from the rain.
Nick lay on his couch, he hadn't moved much since he had gotten home. He had only gotten up to use the bathroom or get another beer, other then that he just laid there thinking. He couldn't muster the energy to do much else. His song dedication to Sara had played 15 minutes ago. He just hoped that she had heard it. Yes, he had sent her a text message, but since she hadn't been returning his calls she probably wasn't reading his texts either. He was just about to doze off when there was a loud pounding on his front door.
Nick didn't even bother to check who it was before opening his door to reveal a dripping wet, "Sara?"
"Hi Nick."
"What are you doing here? Come in before you catch cold." He ushered her into his apartment and sat her down on the couch. Quickly running into the other room he returned with 2 towels. He placed one around her shoulders and handed her the other one to dry her hair before sitting down on the coffee table in front of her.
They were silent for a few minutes before Sara finally spoke, "I heard your song."
"You did?" Nick wasn't sure if he should be worried or excited about that. Normally he was really good at reading her expressions and emotions but at the moment he wasn't sure what she was thinking.
She simply nodded and asked, "Did you mean it?"
"Every word of it Sara. I have missed you so much. This past week has been hell because I haven't been with you. I haven't been able to sleep. I have had a hard time focusing on things at work. I don't have any motivation to do anything when I get home. You are my life now Sara and not having you with me has been killing me inside."
Sara began to cry again as she heard his confession. She had never had anyone feel that way about her. She could never begin to understand why he did. She placed her head in her hands not able to look him in the face. "I am so sorry Nick. I'm so sorry."
"Hey, none of that! You have nothing to be sorry for." Nick told her as he began to run his hands up and down her arms.
"No. No, I do. I walked out on us Nick. I am so emotionally messed up. I don't understand why you would want to be with someone like me. I'm not the right…"
He put his hand under her chin tilting her face upwards and placed a finger to her lips, silencing her, "Hey. I am serious. You have nothing to be sorry for. Don't you dare tell me that you're not the girl for me and that you're not good enough for me. I am a big boy and I can make choices for myself. I choose you Sara. I love you. All of you. Even when you are emotional, I don't care. I love you for who you are. Listen to me Sara." He took one of her hands and placed it over his heart. "I would do it all again. The ups and the downs. Everything. I love you for who you are."
Nick began to wipe away her tears as she asked, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"You were you darlin'." He pressed his lips to hers, hoping to show her what he meant. This was one of those times that both of them wished that breathing wasn't necessary but eventually they had to pull a part. Taking her hands, he pulled her off of the couch,
"Come on, let's get you out of those wet clothes."
"Nick, there is just one thing that I need to know." Sara told him as they walked through the apartment.
"What is it sweetheart?"
"How did you know a Backstreet Boys song?"
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