Title: Communication
Summary: Communication is key. Thoughts can be conveyed in so many ways - words, runes, even the gentle meeting of lips. Alec and Magnus's broken relationship must be fixed with all of the above. CoG
Notes: Well... Okay, I have no explanation for this. I got bored. And didn't want to do homework. Thanks to A+P (I think... Did you give lines for this one or the other one? I know you gave for the other one... Arg, idk, I'm thanking you just in case. ILY!). Also thanks for A+P for beta-ing without meaning to.
Takes place during the wellknown, well-loved, Magnus and Alec kissing scene in CoG.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments series!
Alec propelled himself through the teeming crowd of Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike.
"Magnus!" he yelled as soon as he was close enough. "Magnus Bane!" The warlock was a few feet away. Magnus twisted only his upper half to stare at Alec emotionlessly.
"Yes, Lightwood?"
Alec swallowed and fingered a blade. He knew he wanted to do this. He just wasn't sure if Magnus agreed. "I'm looking for my partner."
Magnus turned around with his hands on his hips. "Well, I suggest you find him. It would be a shame to have to be brave enough to actually face something."
Alec paled. He wanted to defend himself, say that he was brave, that he could face almost anything in his past, he was a Shadowhunter! But he knew that Magnus wasn't referring to demons and Downworlders. He was talking about them. Something much more dangerous.
He could feel chills up his back. Oh, god, not here, not now, not with everyone around us, Alec thought. Not now, when it's important. Not now, when something's going to happen.
"I… wanted you to be my partner," he said slowly. "If you don't have one already."
Magnus looked up at a girl beckoning him to another side of the room and then back at Alec. His face was still blank, but his eyes were intrigued and tormented. "I don't." He waved to the girl and turned his back.
"Was that supposed to be –" Alec started to ask, but Magnus grabbed his hand and pulled him close. He took the stele out of Alec's back pocket without hesitation.
"Shut up, I need to concentrate. Unless you want me to accidentally mark you with a rune for lust or something."
Alec's forehead burrowed. "There's a rune for that?"
Magnus shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe Clary can make one up. Now, I told you, shut up."
Alec was used to talking in Magnus's presence. It distracted him from what his body wanted, from the need to feel Magnus's cold hands on his skin, his smooth lips…
They were very close, he noticed. Their thighs brushed one another and Alec could smell Magnus's breath. It was cinnamon. The only kind of toothpaste Magnus would buy. Alec hated it and had started stashing little tubes of mint toothpaste in the apartment every time he came over.
Magnus was serious as he traced the black lines on Alec's hand. It burned, but in a nice way. The way his mouth burned after he pulled away and slipped off the couch so he could brush his teeth before returning home, because he didn't want to smell like cinnamon, didn't want his family to get suspicous.
The not talking was killing him. He wanted Magnus so badly, but not here, not now, now in front of everyone!
"Magnus –"
"How many times do I have to tell you to shut up? I don't use these things every day!" Magnus finished with a flourish and handed the stele back. Alec stepped a little away and put a few more inches distance between them.
"Sorry," Alec muttered and held out his hand. "Let me do you."
Magnus's eyebrows shot up and he laughed, sounding more like the Magnus that Alec really knew. Not this cold, hard wall. "You and your foster brother have a problem with those words. I wouldn't do the insufferable brat for my life." He paused. "Well, no, I might. Especially if I was drunk. But I'd do you any day, any time. Just tell me the place."
Alec rolled his eyes. "You're rambling. Just give me your hand."
Magnus laughed again and put his hand into Alec's.
Alec bent over the perfect hand, gently carving out the rune. Magnus's hand was soft and it didn't take much effort to get the rune drawn. It didn't have the calluses of hundreds of other runes to get through. Alec hoped that it would stay that way.
"Why me?" Magnus asked suddenly. Alec struggled to keep his concentration. Why were Clary's runes so hard? Or maybe it was just Magnus's heat, Magnus's feel, Magnus in general that was making it difficult.
Alec finished and dropped Magnus's hand. "I'm think I'm ready."
Magnus looked him over slowly. "You think? After you've marked me, you think you're ready for this? Alec, come on, now we're both going to freaking die!" He ran his hands through his hair, agitated. "Listen. You're a good fighter. You'll be fine. Say it with me – you are ready."
Alec nodded and smiled. "I am ready."
Magnus sighed and placed a hand over his heart. "Oh, thank god. I was getting scared for a second. I really don't like wars. Fighting alone would suck."
"What happened to being brave enough to face something?"
Magnus looked away. "Demons are different than parents."
"Really? Because I thought your dad was a –"
"I meant different than your parents."
Alec sighed. He knew that Magnus was right, but admitting it was so painful. His parents, his society, his life – how could he be sure that they wouldn't shun him? There were only three people he knew for sure would stand by him. Jace, Isabelle, and Magnus. Always Magnus.
"Alec, what would you do if I said I loved you, right here, right now, with all these people around me?" Magnus asked softly.
Alec set his jaw. He couldn't answer. He couldn't do it. If he were to speak, he'd be saying the worst – that he loved Magnus back, that he wanted to be with him and only him. The planning of this encounter was a lot easier than the execution.
"What would you say, if I went, 'Alexander Lightwood, I love you with all my heart, but I can't possibly be with you because you're going to break it?' What would you say?"
Alec shook his head wordlessly and tried to ignore the lump in his throat. He wouldn't be able to stand it, he wanted to say. He would die. But how could he make these words articulate correctly, in the perfect way?
"How hard would you punch me if I kissed you right now while everybody watched? How red would you turn, how much would you deny the truth? How far would you go to convince everyone that you didn't like it and it was all my fault? I want to know Alexander. Tell me so I don't have to find out for real."
Alec hung his head. I wouldn't turn red at all, I'd deny nothing, I'd just kiss you back, he wanted to scream, but no words would form. His voice box was frozen and his mouth was locked in place.
People were starting to look, starting to turn their bodies towards the conversation, leaning in to instinctively soak up any good gossip they could get. Alec smiled to himself. In this aspect, Downworlders were the same as Shadowhunters. They all loved to get into other peoples' business.
Magnus didn't stop. "If I did all of that, if I even started to utter those words, how much would you hate me?" Magnus had been getting increasingly more choked up and now he stopped, unable to continue.
Alec looked up and stared into Magnus's green eyes that just sucked him in. "I wouldn't," he whispered.
And then he kissed him.
Alec could feel Magnus stay stiff and frozen, but laced his fingers into the warlock's hair anyway, hoping he would respond quickly. He felt bad for Magnus – it was usually the other way around. Alec didn't understand how he could stand it all the time. But Magnus kissed him back with just as much force and Alec's pounding blood was the only thing he could hear.
When they finally pulled away, Alec didn't look around the room. He didn't try and tune into the various conversations that struck up around the room. He looked at Magnus and smiled.
"I'm ready for this," he murmured. "Are you?"
Magnus's eyes twinkled. "Of course I am. But your parents…"
Alec glanced over his shoulder. Her mother had a hand over her mouth in shock. She and Robert hadn't moved at all, even though the room was now buzzing with chaos. He slowly turned back to Magnus. "We'll, uh… we'll talk to them about us after we face some demons."
Magnus nodded. "Yeah, I think even your mother is less scary than a million demons." He paused. "Maybe."
Alec laughed and he knew that he had managed to say everything he needed to – without saying anything at all.
He definitely liked communicating that way.
Notes: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! I would LOVE feedback! I'm a little bogged down on replies but I'm going to work on that now (no homework to avoid today, so no guilty feelings attached to taking time). Sorry if anything you get is generic. I went away right after I posted my last stuff and haven't have much of a chance to do anything about the replies.
