There's Never A Forever Thing

Chapter 1 - Crying in the rain

"I never let you see the way my broken heart is hurting me,

I got my pride and I know how to hide all my sorrow and pain,

I'll do my crying in the rain.

If I wait for stormy skies, you won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes,

You'll never know I still love you so,

Only heartaches remain,

I'll do my crying in the rain.

(Raindrops falling from heaven,
Could never take away my misery)
But since we're not together
I pray for stormy weather
to hide these tears I hope you'll never see

Some day my crying is done

I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun

I may be a fool, but darling, you'll never see me complain,

I'll do my crying in the rain…"

She slowly closed her cell phone as her fingers were starting to tremble. She stood still unable to do anything as she took it all in. This was really it. It was over. Her and Ryan. They were really over and no longer a couple. Ryan's word from the phone conversation played over and over again in her mind. Burned into her memory forever. She could even picture him starring at the ground taking a breath, clinging to the phone in his hand before he was preparing to break the news to her. The look in his eyes had already told her that it was over a long time ago and she could easily picture the painful and tired look in his big blue eyes as he cleared his throat, searching for the right words. The right words to tell her that they had nothing left to hold on to and that they needed to let each other go, without hurting her too much.

He knew that she knew it too deep down, that they had nothing left.

He had tried so hard to make it work and pick up the pieces of what was left of their relationship, but she didn't seem to care. It was like she didn't think there was something to work on, it was ok the way it was. At least she had pretended to think things were ok, but she always went to somebody else instead of him.

So he had drawn the conclusion and dumped her. Just like that. He had told her they weren't right for each other anymore and that he needed some space. It would do her good too.

Marissa Cooper had quietly agreed but now she wasn't so sure. She felt her lips starting to quiver and some tears starting to press on behind her eyelids. She quickly blinked them away and gazed out on the street. The grey sky was full off dark threatening clouds, just waiting to break loose and release the rain it had hold on to for so long. A few lonely raindrops fell down and sooner more followed, making a nervously drumming on the rooftops.

Marissa felt the feeling of great despair wash over her as the rain got heavier and she took it all in. She had lost the one guy she had ever loved. The only person she had ever loved and the only person who had really seen her for what she really was. The only person she let completely into heart. He was the guy who would be whoever she wanted him to be.

And now she had lost him. And she knew she only had herself to blame. She had let him slip between her fingers and pushed him away. She only had herself to blame for the pain she was feeling now.

It was so overwhelming to feel how hurt and abandoned she felt and how painful it was. She realized now a little too late how much Ryan meant to her and always would do. She didn't think it would hurt so much as it did, cause after all Ryan was right. They had been drifting apart and the only thing that was left of their relationship was into small pieces. But still it hurt and it broke her heart. Because she knew that those small pieces would always be with her.

All she wanted was one more chance to pick up those pieces and make it right. She couldn't handle it anymore. It was tearing her up inside, but still she didn't want people to see it. No she didn't want people to see how broken and vulnerable was. The Marissa Cooper they knew was anything but vulnerable and broken; she was the beautiful girl with the perfect life.

She would be just fine. That wasn't really true, she didn't even believe she would be able to ever smile or laugh again. Not to talk about the sickening emptiness in her stomach that was about to eat her alive from the inside and was determined to stay.

Marissa glanced up at the sky feeling the rain hitting her face as she felt the tears press on and this time she didn't hold them back. She finally let out the tears and let the big, salt tears stream down her face, mixing with the cold rain in her pale face. No one would see the difference between the tears and the rain now anyway. The rain was pouring down making her clothes wet and soaking into her body as she slowly started to wander down the street. Her long golden hair was now dark brown hanging heavy and wet down her shoulders and her mascara was smudged out around her eyes from the tears. But she didn't care. All she cared about was the heavy, wet raindrops falling down from the sad, grey sky helping her to hide her lonely tears...

"Some day my crying is done

I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun

I may be a fool, but darling, you'll never see me complain,

I'll do my crying in the rain…"