Jasper Is Too Sexy For His Shirt
A/N: Hello, friends. I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry about that. I'll try to get some stuff up soon.
Anyway, this is a short oneshot about the only cool Twilight character (take my word, I hate that series), Jasper Hale. And my sexy friend Luinvinial is writing a counterpart to this about Edward. Enjoy!
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Jasper checked every inch of the house, making sure no one was around. When he was sure that the house was clear, he ran up to his room and grabbed his iHome. He placed his iPod in the device and picked his favorite song.
Jasper walked into the bathroom as "I'm Too Sexy For My Shirr" began to blare from the speakers. He ran his hand over his chin, marveling at the smooth, flawless skin.
"I'm so sexy," He whispered. He ran his hand through his hair and pouted his lips.
Jasper turned on a fan and made sure it blew his hair back. He walked back out into his bedroom and turned around, walking back as if he was on the catwalk. He did this once or twice and then as he reached his bed, his removed his shirt and threw it. He flexed his biceps and smiled a flawless white smile. He walked back towards the mirror and sang.
"And I turn my little tush on the catwalk! On the catwalk, yeah I turn my little tush on the catwalk!"
Jasper couldn't turn away from the mirror. He was too addicted to the sexy beast in the mirror. It was irresistible. He couldn't believe how pretty he was. He wondered why Edward had all the fangirls. Jasper was obviously the hottest. And he had more angst. If he couldn't get girls with his looks and his angst, he didn't know what would work.
But he didn't think about that too long. He thought about wonderful he looked. He thought about himself and how much he loved himself. He may have even loved himself more than Alice, but he didn't measure his love. He was too focused on himself.
He blurted out the last verse of the song and flashed himself a devilish grin. Suddenly, he heard something that sounded like a stifled laugh. He looked behind him and saw a red light inside his closet. He walked warily towards the closet and opened the door. The whole Cullen family fell out, dying in a fit of laughter.
Jasper saw the camera in Emmett's hand. A look of pure horror spread across his face as he froze to his spot.
The group continued to laugh as Jasper jumped out of his window and into the woods. "I hate you guys!" He cried. "AND I AM SEXY!"
The Very Sexy End
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A/N: So? You like? This isn't as serious as some of my other stories, as you can tell. I hope you enjoyed it!