"Hot damn!" I whispered to myself as I climbed out of my Dad's car. He drove off without a second to spare, and I could already tell I'd be getting a lecture about taking to long in the morning. He dropped me off in front of a large building, otherwise known as a high school.

Dulaney. Baltimore, Maryland. Me? Senior. Me? Marrisa Shock. Me? The new kid.

I moved here from a dinky town in Michigan. The high school was attached to the middle school, therefore, you know everyone, and everyone unfortunately knew you. It was terrible. After what felt like years of begging, my dad finally agreed to let us move. Now, when I had asked, I had originally meant away from Oakland County, Michigan, but no, Baltimore seemed more appropriate at the time.

I began shuffling toward what looked like the main doors to the school, deciding that it would be the best way to search for the from office. As soon as I found the office, I could get my things, and begin something here. I just need to friend someone before lunch. Not a main concern, but a concern nonetheless.

The school was painted all white, and had banners and posters everywhere, some on the floors from kids tearing them down. As I walked into the school a bit further, I noticed an office right in front of the main doors. Quickly, I sped in there, away from the crowd. Catching my breath, I regained posture, and walked carefully up to the desk.

As I got my things sorted through with the kind secretary lady, who gave me an apple as a token of peace, I suppose, I watched the student body. No one seemed to wear clothing like I did here. My already fading mood just worsened as I saw the only people wearing skinny jeans were two guys, who looked way out of my league. Same style, but they looked so popular. Even through a Plexiglas window.

I thanked Barb, Secretary Lady, and bit into the fresh red apple, and decided to eat it all, since skipping breakfast has been a thing lately. As soon as I walked out the office door, I felt someone jump right next to me.

"New girl!" This person shouted into my face, rather excitedly. I craned my neck, to see one of the boys I saw earlier. The one was tall and very lanky, with brown hair and a blonde strip right through the bangs. Secretly, I loved it. It looked perfect. His eyes were a warm brown, not very detailed, but the color was intense.

"Yes, that is me." I replied quietly, smiling a little for the stranger. I needed a friend, why not someone who's wearing a Blink- 182 shirt?

"I'm Jack Barakat! I'm a senior!" He shouted proudly over the obese noise of the hall.

"Hi Jack, I'm Marissa." I told him, sticking my hand out, waiting for him to take it. He ignored my hand, and gathered my being up into a bone crushing hug.

"It's so nice to meet you! What's your first class, Rizzo?" He asked, snatching the top paper from the stack that I held lazily in my hand. "English. Me too! Are you honors? Wow! You are! SO AM I!"

I'm sorry. That's hard to believe, for him.

"Really?" I said, tilting my head up to look at him. He was so much taller than me. It was quite funny, having a hurt my neck just to get a good look. He was cute. I'd admit it.

"Yeah! Let's go, c'mon! My group of friends have this class, too! We can all be friends! C'mon Rizzo!"

And, just like that, I was Jack Barakat's new friend.

. . .

"Alex, Zack, Rian, this is Marissa."

Jack has hot friends. Jack has really hot friends.

Apparently, as they were telling me before class started, they were all in a band together, called All Time Low. They played punk rock, and wrote their own stuff. It was pretty impressive. Alex was lead singer and rhythm guitar, Jack was lead guitar, Rian was drums, and Zack did bass.

Not only were they good looking and played in a band, they were so sweet and nice, but funny and insulting at the same time. I loved them already.

"I understand we have a new student this year." A woman in her late fifties stated, as she calmed the class down. "Marissa Shock?"

I raised my hand shyly, wondering what she would make me do. She smiled, and nodded her head to me.

"Would you like to tell the class some things about yourself?"

"Sure, why not?" I replied, smiling brightly. I liked talking. Kind of a weakness for me. I slid out of my seat next to Jack and stood in the aisle way. "Well, my name is Marissa, I'm seventeen, turning eighteen very soon. My new friend calls me Rizzo, and if you get special permission from him you may call me that, too. I really like alternative, punk rock music, and I can play piano. That's about all!" I said cheerfully as I could get. Meeting the boys put me in such a lighter mood.

I sat back down in my seat next to Jack, across from Alex, in front of Zack, and behind Rian. I was surrounded by new friends, and joy washed over me like a wave of boulders and bricks. Suddenly, I felt something brush against my hand on the desk, causing me to jump slightly. I looked down, finding a folded up piece of torn notebook paper next to my hand, and Jack staring straight ahead.

I opened the paper carefully, as to not make any noise, and read it to myself.

Would you like to accompany us to our band practice today after school? Jack had written in the space of two rows of the paper, in chicken scratch hand writing. I giggled, and took out a pencil from my pocket.

Sure. Whose house? Maybe we can all hang out over the weekend, too, if that's not a problem? I'm in need of friends. I wrote, and didn't bother to fold it back up before I handed it to Jack bluntly. He pouted, but took the note anyway.

Sure! We'd be happy to hang out with such a cutie ;) I think we're having practice at Rian's. His parents are really coo, you'll like them.

I'm sure I will. Thanks for inviting me, Jackie it means a lot!

No problem, Rizzo!

For the rest of class, we scribbled lyrics from our favorite songs onto the paper one by one, filling it up.

. . .

"So, what do we do at band practice?" I asked the group of boys as I texted my dad that I would be late tonight.

"Practice, then eat, then kill." Zack answered, winking at me.

"Black Ops, I'm guessing? This boy I used to baby-sit for made me play that with him all the time. I got surprisingly good at it, but I've lost my talent."

"We can re teach you," Rian assured me as we made our way to Alex's beat up car. Suddenly, Jack picked me up and flung me over his shoulder, and carried me the other way down the parking lot of the school. Once we reached a black car, just a beat up and dent as Alex's we stopped, and he put me down.

"Why did you-"

"I wanted you to ride with me!" Jack shouted happily, opening a car door for me. It squeaked and moaned in protest, but opened and closed with great heaves. I laughed at Jack as he attempted to drive behind Alex. He kept moving to close or too far away. He couldn't keep a steady pace while driving.

"Driving is so frustrating!" Jack mumbled as he pulled up a to the curb to park behind Alex.

"You'll get it, Jack!" I told him, patting his shoulder, as he gave me a hopeful smile.

"Come on! I can't wait for you to sit through practice! It's going to be so much fun!" Jack yelled as he pulled me away from the car as soon as I stepped on land. He dragged me to Rian's basement without a word to the nice lady who was sitting in the living room, chatting on the phone. I had waved to her, but nothing more. She was probably Rian's mother.

Rian's basement was off white, with posters and music equipment spread everywhere. It was dark, but lanterns and Christmas lights were strung over the perimeter of the room, casting a beautiful yet eerie glow over everything. I sat on a wooden stool they had sitting next to a black bass guitar, and waited for the boys to begin.

"We're going to play you guys a little song I like to call 'Lullabies'." Alex said into the microphone, pretending that there were more people besides myself in the audience. He put his hand over the mic for a moment, and stared at me.

"Yes?" I inquired.

"What else should I say? Should I say something more to introduce the song?" He asked me, searching for a suggestion that I would never be creative enough to give.

"What if you said, 'it goes a little like this'. It's ironic. I guess." I mumbled the last few words to him, and his face lit up.

"We're gonna play you guys a little something I like to call 'Lullabies'. It goes a little like this!" He said again, and they began playing.

Let me tell you.

It blew me away.

The sheer pain in Alex's voice as he sang the tear jerking lyrics, and the way his face was also contorted with looks of displeasure and discomfort. The pain. It was almost unbearable just to listen, but it was so true.

Rian's focus was absolutely marvelous. He zoned out. Nothing was there but him and his music. He was fabulous. I loved the drums. I loved the sound he made them produce.

Zack's uncomfortable stance had made his bass playing look so… authentic. The way he, too, could feel the music, and the song.

Jack. Jack's playing was silly, I could tell. But, for this song, it was slow; it was poetic, and artistic. He played in silence and respect for Alex.

I didn't even know what happened to Alex, but I could tell. This song was everything.

"What did you think?"

"Rizzo?"

"Hey, Marissa?"

"Guys… is she alright?"

If only they knew. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and an arm around my shoulder. Those lyrics. They were everything. Everything I wanted to say. I swiped at my eyes and looked up to see Jack with me. He leaned down next to my ear, and whispered words I couldn't forget.

"I know."

"Alex, it was beautiful. All of you. It was astounding." I said as I calmed myself down. Way to go. Made a great impression.

"Thank you Rizzo."

"It was about suicide, wasn't it?" I asked in a whisper, looking down at my hands.

"Yeah, Rizzo."

"I'm sorry, Alex."

"We'll all get over these things, sometime, Rizzo."