Colors

Chapter 1: The Blackness

After the war was over, it seemed to me that everything was dark. There was no more joy, no more color in the world. Everything was black, white, and gray. It seemed as if I was the only one who was affected in this manner. I could hardly stand to be around them anymore…it was really quite sad. The only one to understand, or seem to understand, was Harry. Ron and I grew far apart…he could not understand. I drew closer to Ginny, who still had much of her innocence, and she took Ron's place in my heart. There were times when Harry and I would sit and talk about it…talk about what we'd done. For Harry, it was quite personal, and I believe that made it easier for him to forgive himself.

It was, on the other hand, extraordinarily hard for me. Everything I did, everyone I killed, was for Harry, for Dumbledore, or just because I was on the "right side". The "Light Side." I wonder still if it really was so easy for everyone else…because it was not easy for me, no matter how evil they were, no matter what they did, it was not easy for me to kill them. Every single person I killed, a part of me died as well, it seemed. I could not celebrate their defeat, for I myself was defeated in the process. The only thing that was keeping me alive was the thought of Hogwarts. Even if I knew nothing would ever be normal for me again. Two days before I was to start my delayed seventh year, the "accident", as my parents were to call it, happened.

It was middle of night, and I woke up cold. Since I sleep with many blankets, it is not unusual for some to slip off during the night…and whilst reaching down to pull them back up, I bumped my head on my bedside table. It takes me quite a while to get used to it being there, since I don't have one at Hogwarts. It meant nothing to me, didn't even hurt that much. I pulled the blankets up and fell back asleep. I woke up and opened my eyes, eager to see my beautiful bedroom again after being gone with Harry so long. It was not to happen. All I saw was darkness. The Blackness, I have named it, for you can see in the dark. Even if it's not a lot, you can still see shapes and such in the dark. And all there was now was inky blackness. I screamed bloody murder. My parents took me to the doctor right away, but they could do nothing. It was afternoon when we finally left his office and I convinced my mother to take me to St. Mungo's. Just because muggles couldn't do anything didn't mean magic wouldn't work. I refused to open my eyes. I was in a state of denial. I couldn't see because my eyes weren't open. And that was all. The Healers didn't have to have me open my eyes, and so I didn't. It turned out they couldn't do anything about it, either. It only seemed fitting, I said in my head, that the world really was black for me. My body is only catching up with my mind, I said.

I already had my textbooks memorized and my essays complete. My things were already packed. I dictated to my mother what to write to Harry and Ginny. Already I could feel my other senses beginning to compensate. Harry surprised me by coming to pick me up. My parents fretted like never before, and didn't want me to go. But I had too. I think they understood my need for normalcy. They let me go, and Harry was very cool about it. He tried really hard not be over-helpful, I could tell. I refused to talk about my blindness, and instead made Harry talk about how he and Ginny were doing. He took a deep breath and told me something that should've come as a shock, but didn't. Apparently, Draco had been found and McGonagall, after talking with him, helped him. Apparently, he had been hidden and didn't take part in the war on either side. He was going to be at school. Harry was shocked I wasn't shocked. I had always thought Malfoy would get out of it. That's just how he is, I remember thinking.

The train ride was fairly easy, even if Harry wouldn't let me go anywhere by myself. All I had to do was sit. The compartment was silent for most of the trip. I wasn't in much of a mood to talk anyway. At dinner, I could tell people thought it was weird that I still wore dark sunglasses. I had worn them constantly for the better part of the past day or so, except when I was alone, and I refused the take them off. Harry and Ginny sat on either side of me and helped me eat normally. Hardly anybody said anything to me, and when they did I would answer politely and look directly where their voice was coming from. I was announced as Head Girl, Anthony Goldstein becoming Head Boy. Ginny offered to go with me, and McGonagall said nothing in front of Anthony. Once he was through the portrait however, I felt I had to tell her. Obviously, I couldn't hide it forever. This meant I would be through with denial. I couldn't get the words out, and Ginny told her for me.

She sent Ginny to Gryffindor Tower and we talked. She helped me, didn't pressure me, didn't question me, and even escorted me to the Library, saying she would send Ginny for me in a while. I sat down at one of the tables, surrounded my books, and cried quietly, for the first time in many, many months. I made sure I was normal once again when Ginny came. She got me to the dorms, and then into my room, after thoroughly making sure I knew where everything was, and then acquainted me with my room. She made sure to lay my clothes out for me, which I absolutely hated, and when she left, I was dead tired.

I hated being so dependant on someone. I was always so independent, it really made me want to scream and shout. And I hated that soon everyone would know I was blind. I hated the fact that I was blind. And most of all, I hated my life. When I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom, I was so disoriented. I ended up waiting till morning because I couldn't bear to wake Anthony up to tell him I couldn't find the bathroom. After I was done in the shower, I got dressed and headed out to the common room. I miscounted my steps and ended up falling down the stairs. That was the "incident", as my parents like to call it. But for me, the real "incident" happened hours later. It was the "incident" that changed my life forever.

Okay, obviously, the "incident" is important to the story. But you won't know what it is until the next chapter. So, tell me what you think of the first chapter. If you like it…if I should bother continuing. And just to let you know, the romance between our favorite couple will be very eventual. I want it to be very real. And Hermione's blindness is not what it appears to be, either. So go ahead and review…it's good karma:)

Loving you all,

DizzyDawn007 aka Sarah

P.S. All you reviewers who've been wanting me to write a story that takes place in their seventh year, here it is! Hope you enjoy it. Love you guys!