TRU LOV
OUR RIG DIPPER / DIPGEL FIC
*****no hate***
** this also includs the mororders ************
so, it waz ther weding day or something. rigel black and big dipper black were getting maryd in like tree mins or something. yes ther surnames are already the same. their cosins OK? origa (walburga and orion, rigels parents and big dippers ant and uncl) were at the weding standing at the bak. rigels brother rejulus was also there in his deth eeter outfit which was a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. rigel waz loking at his brother jelosly becoz he had been kiked out of the deaf eaters on acownt of the fackt that he woldnt were the pink fishnets (rigel thot they made his thighs look bad) so voldy was like alright mate wel u can fuk rite of then cant u? pretty shan thot rigel. rigels older brother siriush was also there with his husbands, jame, reems and peat.
firts the brid walked up the ile and rigel was like oh damn she looks bangin but she actually looked like avrage he had bad syt. then they did the vows and stuff which was kk but big dip couldn't read so….. walburga had no tears ducts aneemore but she wodnt cri anyway it wasn't very emosh really. peet cryed but cos jammie wodont let him lick the grond he walked on. they did the dancing like ganangnam style and the macrenana and the chi chi slide. big dip dab and rig did a dance 2gether but becose they onkly haved a third of a limb it was a 1 from the judges (simon cowell but nobody knue why and the gay one from sctrictlky). siuruis did a speech and he said rig wos his third fav bruv AT LEEST so that wos well nice.
al of a sud it got so bad coz monie transformed into a worwof and started going "awoooooooooo" all ofer the shop. seing as ofter than the brid and grom ther were only sex ppl ther monet started trying to kil them and stuf "nooooo" scremed surlyus but it was not working coz mondy jsut went and kild walburma but its ok no 1 was even that upset coz like she wsnt a gr8 mothr like she cald surmyus a rite dickhed which iz crule as fuk 2 ur own sun. anwy then the morders transfurmd into antimundunguses like so they wer a dog, rat and some kind of horse thing wif stiks on its hed. then they left the weding room and went into the forest wher they had a rite laf like runing about and and killing inosent pepl and things it was the best time evr. so then it waz just rigel big dipper reguluz orion and ded walburga. ok babey, sed rigel kale crispin rupert star nigella lawson black. lets go on owr honiemon.
they decidered too go two ibiza 4 their honeemun it was bantz as fuk cos like there was jammin parties goinm on all the tim so yeh they got crazeee smashed all the thyme when they wehent bak to engolend 4 their house and babbies and stuff and so they coild like have a lyfe but it was kind of bad becos they didn't heve aneee mons to buy a house or kids. evrywon knos that if you want like prmium kids it costs like 37 quid AT LAEST. rigels job as a daffodil eater used two payed reelly well but only in like skulls and blood and peeps skin and stuff so not very good for getting the paper and milk yiu know. but big dippydoo werked as a demenmeteor in askabanshee like sukking peeps souls or whatevs so that was cool i mean they were mostly payed in job satisafaction. but anyway dw cos they only wanted like tacky kids from pound land they even got a 25 for the price of 12 offer! WHART A STEEL! But sum died but they still haved star (tar 4 short) jupiter (jup 4 short) kale (al 4 short) and nova (no 4 short). it was sweet as frick
ther lif was gd but not alwais coz somtimz theiy runned out of cashola and then thiy coldnt aford 2 pai for like fod and things. rigel had 2 get a second job as a house elf and big dipy had 2 start wrokign as the headteacher of hugworts on weekends and holidayz. but they stil coldnt aford a lot of stuf coz rigel spent so mubhc of the famz monie on candles like £3000 pound a week so thiy where in lik det and thigns it woz the end no and tar ended up stabing rigel at the end. he dednt dye but they sold his blod 2 mugels at a costchum shop saing it waz supper relistick mack up. they got 4 pound per liter of theyre dads blod so they solf it a lot. on day dirty dumby wroted to no jup tar and al and sed thei had places at hogmorts skule of wotcraft and wiz.
bigdippity went to platfourm nineteen ¾ wif them LOL WRONG ONE rigwel didnt goes becos he wos dead. But they got there (they had two walk which is lik quite messed up if you think abiut it like could they not have takenb a fleeing car? but appaperentely not only for hairy "dickhead" pot and rune "what a twat" wheeze) but they went there rite and they did the sortingout wif the sorting poncho. they were all sorted into "shit" yayyyyyyy! :D they lived in the forbiddeen fourets and their was lots of bad things there like a squad of spiders who tried to feed then too they're young hahahaha lol but no they were ok cos they could fight (biggity dippity mde them lern self defence 4 EXACTLY this kin of sitosuation!) tyhey didnt go to any classessess obvs kcos the CODNT CARE LESSSN OR MORE hahahahahaha its colled banter look it up.