Vehemently Poisoned

DISCLAIMER: I don't own FF8, Squaresoft.

Summary: Seifer, Quistis and their instructor-student relationship Their secret, their affair. No one knows and a lot to hide. ONE SHOT. Warning: some sexual innuendo.

Genre: Romance/Poetry Rating: PG 13


A tint of blood that could rage onto your skin
A shadow of the past that could haunt your dreams
What would entail if you were lost in the midst of hate
We are….

++

(A/n some note: if it's Quistis pov, the italicized poetry is from Seifer. Vice versa. Except on the last part though)


The gentle breeze of the wind blew my hair and the light accompaniment stroke my eyes. I smiled and let its whispers jived on my skin, feeling and adapting myself to another day. I walked on my class holding the necessary papers that I would need. Several students greeted me and I nod and smiled back. They knew me at a first glance, one of the heroine of the sorceress war, a come-back dedicated instructor, me Quistis Trepe.

I then reached the knob and opened the door. The usual setting still remained, chairs and tables were organized with students gossiping and crowding themselves. This is my routine, my life and my choice. Being instructor seemed to be written on the stars before my birth. Tides of complicacies leading to the removal of my license couldn't alter it. I got my license back, I got what I want back. And I'm glad.


"good morning" I greeted as I walked on the table.

Several students walked near me and offered to carry my things. I of course wouldn't deny such hospitality. Selphie said that students of mine usually can't help but to have crush on me. I wouldn't take it as a big issue. Or I just don't mind it all. I don't know. I already lost my touch of thinking from the moment I was involved, from the moment he came and I welcomed, from the moment I participated and yearned,. In short, I no longer care.

They all think I'm damn okay, fine, model of goodness and instructor quality. I, the ever dedicated Quistis was an example of purity that admired by many. What can I say? looks were deceitful. Because I am nothing but a liar.

I, who became weak and let myself fall on the game of lies and lust.
I, who swam around on the dark shadows of risk.
I, at night who participated in a naughty seduction.
And most of all, I who enjoyed it all.

Yes I am that. That weak. That dirt. Liar.

"thank you" I gratefully said. Their faces seemed to turn a little red. I walked on the classroom carrying myself with full of enthusiasm. This is my second class and my most favorite class. Why? A three letter word, him.

I can see you

"you know instructor, I made an advance reading on our class" One of them boasted.

The real you

"yes me too"

The nights we shared

"really?" I replied, giving them more encouragement.


The passion we yield

"yes instructor"

You…you…

"good!. Now, go to your seats and we will already start"

I want you
I give up. I always give up when it comes to this. I couldn't even make it last five minutes not to see.
I couldn't take it any longer. From the moment I entered the room, I was already poisoned. It was already calling. Even if I couldn't see him, I can feel him, an indirect presence of vehemence, striking and soothing me down. He was tearing me on that gaze. And it is enough to make me defenseless.

I want you

I finally looked up and stared him back. I need it. I just need it.

And there he was, sitting on the back corner watching me with his usual intensity. He was wearing his usual outfit which always suited him perfectly. A blonde hair guy that holds my weakness, Seifer Almasy.

You couldn't let go
You're here
We're trap
You With me
I with you

I'm still staring, lost at my behavior. Stop it you idiot!. We'll get caught. It's no use I can't. Our eyes conversed with our own dialect. The secret that we hold passed thru our gaze. No one knows. And I'm getting afraid, afraid of him, afraid of everyone and most especially afraid of myself.

It's addicting. He's addicting just like what he's doing now. And again, I was frozen. Will it always be like this? I don't know. I was weak when it comes to him.

I know you
We live in the dark
Together
Alone
I know you like it
We're looking at each other for a while which is long enough that other students might notice. Stop it
I couldn't break it off.

it's just fair coz I like it too


At last he shifted his head on the other side. It seemed he smirked on the situation. I scorned at him.

Damn you.

And we're poisoned

He's always like this, teasing me and putting me on the edges. The danger of exposing our secret was one things I'm not yet prepared of. He knew very well of that fact and yet he loves tricking me to do it.


I finally regained my composure and started my lecture. "So for today we'll going to answer your assignment and we will have a seatwork later. I want to test if you truly understand the lesson" I'm wearing my mask again, acting and performing well to hide the dirt that was eating me alive right now.

I looked at him once in a while and he's not looking back. If ever he did, not with his earlier kind of stare.

As long as he would not give me that look, I could do my job and teach. You better hide it good Seifer or we'll lose it all.

++


I finally looked away and saw her scorn. Yeah right, she's afraid we'll get caught. I don't give a damn.

Well, I take that back. I care a little, just a little for the trouble that it will cause her. It seemed she cares much about those things which I don't find relevant at all. But if it's just me, I wouldn't mind.

There's nothing on me that they can take away anyway. Sure, they can remove me from the garden and punish me. But the hell, I don't care. I lost all the concern I can give upon myself after the war. I lost my self worth and was now covered with void. I almost lost it all. Almost.

"Seifer can you please pass that book over here?" my schoolmate whiningly asked behind me.

"are you paralyzed? Get it yourself lazy bitch"

The girl glared at my comment. Glare at me all you want, the hell I care. I knew this one wouldn't take a step to fight. It was no use because even if she's a woman, I would not turn my back. I'm still the old me. The old bastard Seifer. As if nothing had changed on the outside. I'm still full of confidence and pride to insult people. But then on the inside it was a different thing. I was already on the brink of death just to breathe and live. My dreams and hope were peeled up to my bones. Almost nothing has left for me.

"what the hell are you looking at?" I yelled to the girl. I shot my death glare at her. And then she turned away.

My desire to fight and to ignore rules was still in me, still in my blood. But I couldn't just do it could I? No.

Why?

Her

I'm in you
You let me in


If not for her….I could scare them with my gunblade, I could punch those idiots until they bleed, I could failed the exam, I could….
Her

Damn.

You want me here
And now I couldn't get out

What have I gotten myself into?


But then, it's too late. I was already attached too much that I couldn't get out. We couldn't get out. Her voice, her presence, her lips, her skin, her touch… it's poisoning, she's poisoning.

I'll take you alive
I'll live beneath your skin
To burn and hell in its deep

But you'll never know…

Her…
she has been like a drug into me, my drug to this emptiness that rapidly sipping my heartbeat. A drug that was so effective and yet so addictive.


Not until you seek
Not until you questioned

That we're poisoned….with each other's veins


"okay now we'll have the seatwork" She said into class in her teacher-like manner. She was dressed with her usual attire. Her hair was clipped at her back with some dangling strands at the side. Her eyeglass added more physical difference to her students. Though she's almost the same age as them, the same age as me.

"Instructor is it graded?" one of those flirtatious idiots asked. Those guys seemed to drool over Quistis. Pitiful. All they get was her smile and some motherly remark. But on him…much more. How more? You shouldn't ask. You might not want the answer.


If they would only knew… the real her…with him...
Doing our midnight escapade…
Tearing seductively our clothes…
Crushing our body into madness…
Making our lips sullen…
Burning our skin with heat…

And making love until the stars hide…

She's with them at daytime. But at night she's mine.
Mine.


Damn. Now I'm daydreaming. Maybe, being a student in her class was a bad idea.


"no it's not graded. I just want to test if you understand the lesson"

She then posted the question and gave us twenty minutes to answer.

All of them were bending over their head now and seriously answering the question. Of course I should also, but I didn't make one move to answer it. It's not that I'm stupid not to know the answer. It's just that I'm not on the mood. I was preoccupied with other things. Things that only she and I knows.

She stayed on the front desk and tried to organize the scattered papers. She was not looking at me. Nice try. Let's see…


++


I was sitting on my desk trying to arrange my paper works. I gave my student a 20 minute seatwork and so I can organize these things for a while. I want to finish this as soon as possible.

That's a lie.

Fine I admit. I didn't really want to do this. I am doing this so my mind would not wander to a person that was not supposed to think of at a moment. I didn't want to lose my foc-

"Instructor"

Oh no. That voice. I looked up and saw him raising his hand. His eyes were unreadable. What the hell was he thinking this time. We agreed that there should never be an unnecessary interaction between us in front of the people.

"Instructor"

I have no choice. He was calling me in front of my class and ignoring him was not a good idea as an instructor. I then walked towards him in annoyance (for not following our agreement) and curiosity (of what kind of mischief he's planning again this time).

"what's your problem?" I authoritatively asked as I reached him at the back corner of the room. I put my hands on my hip in a smug position. It was also in our agreement to act like enemies just like what we usually do before it happens.

He seemed to get my reaction and played along too.

"um… Instructor I really don't understand your lousy teaching. Can you please help me with this difficult question that you gave us?" he said innocently acting like a child.

I narrowed my eyes in hesitation. He patted his sit inviting me to join him. I could sense that this was not a proper place, not the questioning. But hell knows he was not implying the word help there but of something else.

He noticed my silence and then he replied. "well, you told us you would help any student that was in need right?"

There was that look again. He surely knew how to blackmail me when it comes to this. Very manipulative Seifer. Very.

Finally I ignored our agreement for a while and sat beside him. See how weak I am, falling again to his trick. Indeed Seifer Almasy didn't know how to follow rules.

"so what was it?" I asked sounding still normal.

"number 3. I don't understand your question" He sounds fine also. Maybe I was wrong.

"ok it says what is the na-" I stopped when I suddenly felt his hand on my thigh. Uh oh. I take it back. I was'nt wrong. I knew he would do something like this. That jerk. I looked at him and he just smiled sardonically.

Tie me in shame
"Are you out of your mind? We're in the public!" I whispered at him as softly as possible. I am not looking at him directly so that it would look like I'm still teaching him. It's better to be cautious.

"come'on just this time. This is your fault anyway, you bored me to death" Even at this time he still managed to insult me. Damn him. On the contrary, I'm not angry. I even like it. His words were insulting me but his action was yearning for me.

Crush me in vain

Agreeing to him, I continued to discuss the question. He abruptly got it as a yes and smiled. He then continued his hand action on my thigh. And besides I'm quite enjoying it myself. It's like hiding it adds more pleasure on it.

And I'll not yield
"So this means you've got to arrange this in a way tha- SHIT" I suddenly muttered feeling his hands were getting further. If I only knew he would do something like this, I should not have worn a skirt.

He grinned triumphantly. I glared at him as a warning.

"and then you make sure that this is equal to th-Aah" He did it again. Same look was plastered on his face. Damn you Seifer.

"you're not listening are you?" I said in a way a teacher reprimand his student.

He paused for a while and looked at me. There goes those mischievous eyes and smirk again. "I think you're asking the wrong question instructor" He stressed huskily the word instructor. He loved doing it, emphasizing our occupational difference. It added more chills to him that way.

you're weak like me
you fell like me

"huh?" I don't get it. what kind of game was he playing this time.

"your question must be: are you enjoying it?"

I smiled. This guy never failed to amuse me.

pathetic

"Go ask it" He said and lifted his eyebrow invitingly.

I was supposed to feel like an idiot following his command but then I also like this kind of word game which we always play.

but it's too late

"are you enjoying it?" I said obeying him.

He then leaned forward quite seductively. "ab solute ly" he said slowly, huskily and sexily.

Because we're poisoned.

Bind with each other
Addicted to each other

Damn he's good. I quite forgotten myself we're in public.

"how about you?" He was gazing me deeply

I felt silent for a moment. I don't know what to say. I knew the answer but to say it was a different thing. Here in this place, would not make it right.

I want you…
I paused for a while. Unable yet to answer. He was still making that movement. Damn. I closed my eyes feeling a sudden urge to dive on him and make love.

And I know you want me…
I can feel it

He's leaning closer. Oh Hyne, if only the people would see our position right now. I can even feel his warm breathe on my skin.

Blood rushing on our veins
Lust crawling on our lips

" say it" I heard him.

"yes Seifer yes. dammit" I whispered quite loudly and opened my eyes in panic.

And yet we're poisoned

Did I just said it loud? I looked at my students and thank Hyne they were still busy doing that stuff while I'm busy doing mine. I looked at him fumingly. He looked somehow victorious at my answer.

This game always made him feel superior and I felt manipulated.

I waked myself up to stop this dirty trick right now.

"Seifer" I said his name forcefully, indicating him to stop. He was not the only one who must be in control here. There are rules and rules are to be followed.

"this is not the right time for this!" I put his hand away before someone might notice what we were doing. As I put it aside, he seemed to grasp it and I couldn't let it go. He intertwined our hands under the table.

"Seifer what is it aga-" I was about to protest when he cut me.

"Number 7 instructor. I also didn't understand it" I looked at him and he was pretty serious this time. He was no longer looking at me but the question on the screen. I couldn't help but to smile and allowed him to hold it that way. Seifer was surely a mood shifter. Unpredictable.

We were together like this for awhile. I'm teaching him and he's listening. And I wouldn't forget that our hands were still together. It kind of feels like….sweet.

Sweet? It was never a word to describe our relationship. It's more like lies, obsession and lust. But then, this time those words didn't seem to apply.

Day by day this is getting serious, contagious. It was just only suppose to be a game. Nothing else. But then…

Forget it.

Right now, I like this way better.

++

"Seifer this is not the right time for this" She put my hand away from her thigh indicating me to stop. I suddenly felt an urge not to let go of her hand and intertwined it into mine.
I don't know. Maybe some consolation I guess.

"Seifer what is it aga-"

She was about to protest and I cut her.

"Number 7 instructor. I also didn't understand it" I rapidly said somehow covering my action.
Embarrass? No.

I just didn't want to make more issue out of it. And besides I felt like I want to learn right now. Was it because of her submissive answer? Maybe. Was it because of her hand? Maybe.

Weird.

Right I'm weird.

I'm weird from the moment I let myself fall on this pit. I'm weird every time she's near me. And I'm getting weirder everyday and it is all because of her and this.

But nobody knows that except me and her. Our secret. Our affair.

She was still teaching me, discussing and reviewing the lessons. It felt so good, this, her, instructing me and holding her hand in public. It felt different like being free, satisfying. I don't know.

I then wished that it's always like this. But no. It cannot be.
Not yet.

It's just complicated.

"instructor I'm finish" a student said near us.

Quistis suddenly jerked at the foreign voice and let go of my hand right away. She was indeed not a risk taker.

Damn him whoever he is. He just ruined our rare moment.

"oh I see" She scanned at her watch quite nervously, maybe due to the unexpected interruption. She then stood up from my sit.

"well Seifer I hope you get your stupid lazy ass next time and study!"

I was seemed speechless for a moment. Ah yes a cover up again. We still need to play and act. "change your way of teaching first. Your class lacks enthusiasm" that part was half true. If not for her and their stuff he would really fall asleep.

She ignored me and walked towards in front. Too bad it's already dismissal time. I was still enjoying her class.

From day to night we will dance
Burn in sensation
Fly in bliss
"it's time class. Upload you answers and you can now leave" I noticed that a hand of guys approached her as she walked outside. Slowly my classmates were vacating the room. I felt empty at the moment .

"We, as a shadow. We, as a secret. We, as a public stealth" I said to myself reflecting.

I wonder, up to when would this last long. For soon I knew and she knew that it will be revealed. And it would crush us both.

We're here
Together
Stuck, Sick, Demented

addicted

You and me

I stand up from my seat and walked towards the door. I put my hands on my pocket and I felt something. I removed it and found out it was a letter.



Seifer,
Same time same place


When did she put this? I was frantically busy doing my hand stuff and lost my senses.

But right now we don't care. We'll cherish this vain and bliss and worry the tomorrow later. After all poisoned people were like that...numb

I smiled...for what happened...and for what will happen



We…
Who had fallen into too much hate with each other
Now both, weak, blind and deceitful

Weak

Why we didn't foresee it….and let it
Hate engulf us and eat us

And now we're poisoned
No cure, no certain future

vague

We… our secret…our affair…

All because of hate and we are poisoned…
Vehemently poisoned.

~Fin~

++



(A/N notice that there seemed to be a story before this happen, and it is something related to hate. Yeah, that's how I picture them why they became together. Though I haven't written it yet.

Oh and please let me know what you think and REVIEW. Thanks.)