GET THAT CAT OUT!
Summary: Al's weakness is cats so Envy transforms into a cat. But he is in for one hell of a ride.
This is dedicated to my new, amazing super cool, best buddy ZakuroU. We can spend ages fangirling over stuff so this goes out to her. YAY!
BTW, Lust is still alive! Oops spoiler
Disclaimer: I am no where near as funny as Hiromu Arakawa so I guess it's a good thing she owns it
"Meow"
"Al did I just hear what I thought I heard?"
"Uh no brother"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes brother"
"Meow"
"Dam it Al I said no more cats!"
"But it was so sad and alone"
"Well they're all sad and alone!"
"But brother"
"Get rid of it"
"But-"
"AL!"
"Fine be free little kitty"
This exchange between the two alchemist brothers was heard by a certain sin lurking in the shadows. And this argument had just given him the perfect idea.
"Hey Lust, I've had an idea" Envy bounced into the room. "And I thought of it myself!"
"Really brother" Lust drawled. "Is it as bad as the 'lets pretend to be Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye' idea?"
"What no!" Envy glared. "And for you information, that was a fantastic idea"
"For you maybe since you can change shape but I don't look good with dyed hair. I was blond for weeks after that and before we could even do anything, the real Roy and Riza walked in and we barley made it out alive"
"Ok well the plan would have worked if the hadn't walked in"
"Give it up Envy; they would have worked it out. My breasts are way bigger then that stupid girl"
"Ok fine so it was a flop" Envy didn't have time to argue. "But this idea is good and you don't even need to come"
"Ok fine, let's hear it" Lust leant back to examine her nails.
"Ok so I just found out that the big tin suit is a cat lover so all I need to do is pretend to be a cat and we're in" Envy spread his arms apart like a conductor.
"Uh no" Lust said in a bored tone.
"Come on it'll work" Envy pleaded.
"Envy I was talking about one of my nails but your plan is stupid as well. But I don't really care so go do what you want"
Envy glared at Lust but she was too busy holding her nails up in all different direction to see him.
"Fine, I'll see you later with runt 1 and not such a runt in my clutches" Envy sneered and walked out. He vanished into an alleyway and a few moments later, a small tabby and little kitten padded out and set of in search of 2 certain people.
Alphonse Elric looked over at is brother who was striding ahead, glaring at all the people who looked at him as they passed as if daring them to comment on his size. They were probably looking at his auto mail which was visible as he had caught his sleeve on a nail. Or the might have been looking at him, Alphonse but to Edward, they were looking at his short body height.
Suddenly, Alphonse heard a meow. A teeny tiny, cutesy meow. A meow that could have only come from one animal. A lost kitten!
Al looked over at Edward who was shouting at a man who had bumped him and had probably also commented on his size too. Since Edward was busy, Al set of in search of the kitten. It didn't take him long to find.
The kitten was tiny thing, its body patterned with white and a tabby colour. Its emerald eyes blinked up at the huge metal creature and it meowed again trying its best to look hungry.
It worked.
"Oh you poor kitty" Al said worriedly. "Here, you can come with me but you have to be very quiet, even if I start running"
"Meow" Said the cat.
"So it's settled" Al said. "You can come with me. Hmmm, I need a name for you. How about…. Precious?"
'Precious' mewled indignantly but Al took it as a sign of agreement.
"Yay!"
"Al where'd you go?" An angry sounding voice yelled.
"Ah coming brother"
And Al ran to join his brother, carrying the sin in disguise.
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"Al where were you when I was argu- I mean talking with that man?" Edward asked as he flipped through the room service menu of the hotel.
"Well I was ah um I thought I saw the lieutenant here" Al stuttered.
"Really here?" Edward just raised an eyebrow and went back to reading the menu.
"It wasn't her though" Al stated. "But I thought it was"
'Ok" Ed didn't raise any questions and Al gave a mental sigh. Precious was safe for now. And when Edward went to sleep (if he ever did) Al would let Precious out for a stroll.
'Precious' on the other hand was bored. Very bored. So bored in fact that if a boy came up t him and called him a girl before asking him on a date, he would say yes. Anything to get out of the walking tin can. When was he going to get let out?
"Ok Al I'm going to bed" Edward yawned and stretched his arms, the metal one flashing in the light.
"Ok brother sleep well" Al said to Ed as he vanished into the bedroom.
"Night" Ed waved a hand before shutting the door.
"Thank heavens that this isn't one of those one room hotel rooms" Al whispered to the bundle in his body.
"Meow" 'Precious' called.
"Shh" Al hissed. 'Precious' wasn't complaining. His ears were to busy ringing from the echo.
A little while later, 'Precious' was about to fall asleep. It was sooooooo boring. Maybe Lust was right. Maybe this was a stupid idea.
"Ok Precious, I'm letting you out" Came a voice.
Envy wanted to transform on the spot, spin Al around and then get on his knees and thank whatever God or other mystical being had granted him this spell of luck.
He resigned to scrambling out of the suit and stretching before meowing loudly.
"Al was that a cat?" A voice came from the bedroom.
"No" Squeaked Al, looking over at Precious and motioning with his hands for the cat to hide.
'Precious' ignored him and licked a dainty paw before drawing it over his ear.
"I swear I heard a cat" Came the grumpy voice.
'No, no you didn't" Al looked over at Precious desperately. 'Precious' was calm. What was the worst thing that the little shrimpy alchemist could do to him?
"I HEARD A CAT AND I SAID NO MORE CATS!"
Ed burst from the room and 'Precious' yelped, shrinking into the ground. Edward loomed over him, suddenly looking very tall. Had he grown? Envy chided himself. He was a cat. A cat that Ed was very angry with. A cat that was…FLYING THROUGH THE AIR!
"Meowwwwwww!" 'Precious' complained.
"Brother stop" Al begged.
"NO" ed was on a rampage.
Envy considered turning into his boy form but realised that wasn't a very good idea. Edward probably hated him more the cats and then he wouldn't have Al on his side. Envy had to stifle a laugh despite being swung around by a bean sprout boy. On Al's side? Now even Lust would laugh at that.
The next thing Envy knew, he was being chucked out the window.
"MEOWWWWWWW!"
"PRECIOUS!"
"GOOD RIDDANCE!"
Envy wanted to transform into a bird but he couldn't. Edward would see him. So the little ca flew into a river and transformed into a fish and swam until they reached a bridge. Out of the river emerged a boy who looked like a girl who looked like a palm tree, scaring a homeless man.
Said palm tree arrived back home and entered the room, dripping wet.
Lust looked up from her nails and smirked. "I take it the mission was not a success" she drawled.
"I was not very lucky tonight" Envy growled. "Who knew Edo-Kun hated cats?"
Yeah I finally finished this one shot. YAY ME! And I've posted two fics today. YAY ME! I have been working on this story for a while, never really happy with the ending. I'm still not that happy but I'm out of ideas.
PLEASE REVIEW!