Disclaimer: The Harry Potter characters are not mine, nor am I making any money writing this. Nor do I own Hurt by Christina Aguilera.
A/N:As with all of my stories it's extreme AU and characters are OOC. Italics are song lyrics. I would suggest listening to the song as you read. Uber kudos go to my betas DrunknMunky85, Liidg and King of the Ashers, if you haven't read their work you should really check it out, they don't know how to do a bad story.
A/N 2: For this story Bella and Mione were in the same year at Hogwarts, in their original houses. Nobody knew of their relationship and there's no war or Voldemort.
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Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh
The memories of that day never left me. The look of devastation on her face as I turned my back on her and now there was just this cold stone to mark her existence.
I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there
I longed to have her back, to be able to change what I had done. Then maybe she would still be here, she might have made it through if I had been there to love, support and take care her.
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
By Merlin, how I was envious of her ability to be herself. Not caring what anybody thought. Now I'm paying the ultimate price for my cowardice.
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh
Sometimes I wonder if this shattered thing I call a heart is on display because it feels that way. People were shocked to see me here, I had to come, no matter if they understood or not.
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
I divorced him finally and came out to my family, boy were there fireworks that went along with it. I can't escape this desperation to have her with me once again. I wonder what she thinks of me now.
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh
Oh, how careless and stupid is youth? Too much so in my opinion. Images of her during her last weeks painted themselves upon the insides of my eyelids, pictures that formed from my research into her illness.
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
I wish someone, anyone had told me what was going on with her. I wish I could tell her how my arms ache for her everyday, my lips crave hers, my soul longs to be with her and that it never left her.
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try to turn back time
It's too bad that the time turners are so regulated...but wait...I have just the book I need. With that thought firmly in mind I stride powerfully through the crowd of people up to the headstone and place a kiss upon it before taking my leave.
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you
I'm going to make sure that this doesn't come to pass, for once I was going to be foolishly Gryffindor.