Chapters 1-51
Beta-OMG Pterodactyls
Disclaimer- If I owned Black Butler don't you think I would have killed off the Viscount by now?
Guhehehe! Hiya! You can call me The Undertaker…oh, you're familiar with my work you say? I'm flattered! Though I must admit I wasn't expecting somebody who knew me…well then, instead of telling you the stories about myself what about those of a different time?
A Shinigami goes back to the place they came from after every mission…a place where we can see all choices. This is one book I managed to get…since it has such great laughs in it. Ahem, this is the world of Ciel Phantomhive, but one quite different than you would know…
Noah's Ark carnival…a supposedly happy place where families go to watch the many amusements that these people can offer. Reality is a harsh mistress though and these people…can never be happy. Misery flows though them like water in a broken goblet.
But…in this world only one thing was different. Added into the letter to Tom, the Piper's Son was one warning. The Phantomhive Mansion is odd. All others who have tried were 'disappeared'.
It was because of this the parting words between Joker and Beast were changed. Beast's final plea was to let her go instead. Joker accepted.
Because of this everything went differently than those of you who know me. Joker wasn't seduced by Sebastian, that would be weird guhehehe, but they drank until Joker passed out.
Sebastian shuffled though his pocket for a moment before pulling out a small piece of metal shaped like a knife but only a quarter inch long. A quick flash of the wrist and the tooth of Grell's death scythe played a partial record of the ringmaster's life. "Oh my…Master will not be pleased, though when is he ever?" the demon sighed and left him there passed out on the table without looking back to the one whom he felt nothing for.
As the Book dictates they went through the same steps as their counterparts in this world, Joker felt guilt and Doll was sent away to tell Father of what happened…though that's not really what interests either of us is it? Eh, let's skip a head…no, not that one…this one? Oh, no not yet, back a few pages…here we go!
Let's move to where things did get to be very different. Let's start with the greeting at the door of the Baron.
Beast slowly opened the door "Welcome. We've been waiting Earl Phantomhive" her face was as blank as a porcelain doll's. As they climbed the stairs Beast didn't hide her sorrow "The Queen's Watchdog…this little boy with no parents in sight. Hardship don't play nicely does it, Smile?" she looked back and her fierce eyes were tempered with something that reached to both of them.
"My name is Earl Ciel Phantomhive, I will not allow you to speak to me so familiarly."
She continued ahead "A nobleman is a nobleman I guess" she offered with a shrug "We've prepared dinner"
The Baron made his entrance "This is like a dream! To see you again!" he bowed his ecstatic head "Though I feel a certain embarrassment at my appearance"
The Earl only asked one question "…You are Baron Kelvin?"
The Baron nodded vigorously "Yes but please drop the formalities. You are the guest after all!" he gestured to Beast who wheeled a bottle of wine over and poured it as the Baron chattered. She tried so hard to push the man's words out of her ears but failed. His sick hobby came up.
"I-I don't thin-"
"Do. It."
The woman squeezed her eyes shut and didn't say anything to the Earl's questioning face and the bile in her stomach built. Children stood in a line on a small stage and Beast flicked her wrist "Welcome Earl Phantomhive. Tonight what you will see will astound you!" and from her tight glove a small puff danced and a single yellow flower appeared in her hand before she pointed with it to a small child on a platform attached to the ceiling "First is a tightrope, no lifeline this is a true test-"
She couldn't help but flinch like a beaten dog at the wet slap of the body on tile. Ciel jumped as Sebastian stood nearly impassively. The Baron clapped and laughed as two more children dragged away the body as a cage was brought onto the stage, inside a lion.
The cat was thin and ragged with hunger, Beast kept one arm around her stomach as the other gestured to the cage with the flower "Next is an animal tamer" her voice was quieter. The door slid open and she said nothing as the cat attacked and chewed on the boy who stood limply with a whip in his hand.
Again the Baron's psychotic claps and laughing filled the air.
At this point both of her arms covered her roiling belly "Now is a knife-thrower and the life of the target is…"
The Earl stood "STOP IT SEBASTIAN!"
The knife came to a dead halt millimeters from her face and the Butler identified the girl "Ellery Nickson from the Cornwall area…you were correct Young Master." Beast felt the guilt reach it's hands up from her gut and across her face "No training…just another way of enjoying the circus I see"
The Baron for once looked anything other than happy as he looked around "You don't like it like this? Beast clean up!"
The Earl spoke quietly "I will end this farce. Few things on this Earth could tempt me to sit at table with a creature like you and they are most assuredly not here. This is enough for a report to the Queen" he stood to his full diminutive height and started walking "Vulgar, ugly, perverted. This is not even worthy of being human life. This is what I have gotten rid of as the Watchdog of the Queen!"
A knife appeared in Beast's hand as the Earl's cloak flew back. But what type of butler could not keep his master safe? The knife was pointed at the Watchdog's throat but the knife Sebastian had stole was across her neck as the child's gun was aimed at her despicable father's head.
The Baron's rotten eyes widened as the child's blank stare "Beast! Don't let him point such a thing at me!" he totally disregarded the knife at her own neck before he shouted "Why aren't you doing something!?"
Silently she pulled the knife back as Sebastian stepped behind her and held her captive as his Master spoke "Baron Kelvin. Where are the children?"
He turned around happy again "Y-You want to meet them!? In the basement with something I would love very much to show you!"
The dining hall was behind them as the Earl was wheeled by two children and the Earl's gun. Beast walked behind with the Butler still holding the knife close. The Baron sighed happily "This is simply outstanding! I've waited a long time to walk with you like this!"
The Earl countered with a sharp "I don't care about your dreams, take me to the children"
The Baron squeezed his hands together and apologized "S-sorry" they came to a large stone wall with a thick bound door "But every since that day, I've regretted not being at your side"
Phantomhive allowed his gun to dip slightly "That day? My side? What the devil are you on about?"
The two children sung open the door "No matter how much we fight it time goes on…but who said I cannot recreate it! This is the labor of three years, all my time and money!" before them stood the altar where those who spilled Phantomhive blood brought about their own end "Let's replay that scene from those three years ago!" he shouted.
As the Baron spoke of their first meeting five years prior Ciel paid him no attention. His own mind burned with different images and sounds. The Butler and Beast listened quietly, neither could do anything else besides watch and listen, like two of the audience at a show. This did not include them at the present.
The Baron's nostalgia waned "That was you Earl. You killed them all"
Beast couldn't help but let out a surprised gasp. Again this boy defied logic.
"I'm jealous, only a person as perfectly cold as the moon could have given such a beautiful end! Give me that end! Like you did that day! In this place!"
In her mind Beast began to realize that it was not only guilt of the kidnappings that sickened her but the depravity of her 'father'.
"The only thing missing is you! I was going to invite you myself-"
A gunshot rang out across the room. Beast leapt forward "Father!" from her false leg her whip appeared before Sebastian darted in front of her with inhumane speed and her false leg crumbled and her once more bare flesh hit the ground. The butler shook his head "I ask that you not interrupt my master"
The Baron crawled on the floor from where it fell "It hurts!" he moaned as he gripped the child's legs "Kill me like you did them on that day! I beg you!"
The icy earl pressed a shoe against the Baron's face "Like that day? Then kneel like a dog and pray for a demon"
Beast sat up "Don't! please! No matter who he is he saved us! We had nothing until he took away are fear of starvation! So many like us are still at that workhouse" she took a pained breath as she shook "If he dies we can't continue"
Again the child with the coldest voice she ever heard spoke "And that's why you stole those children from their homes? You took from them in order to survive?"
She nodded "It wasn't life…we had nothing. We were all outcasts, we all thought we were going to die there…but he saved us from that, gave us arms and legs." her shuddering breaths came more evenly now "We would go through anything to get away from that, even if it meant that we could barely live with it. We all knew it was wrong-"
"You are not wrong. Your world is what matters to you, no one else thinks of others. You will lose everything if you can't keep up. Only when you have power can you force the world to fit you and call it anything other than tyranny…" the young Earl watched her carefully, like she was some sort of strange specimen "Only two types of people exist in this life. Those who steal and those who are stolen from. Today I stole your future. Nothing more, nothing less." it was a cold logic that rang true no matter the race or civilization.
She gave a dark shake of her head "Then your people will be stolen too. Tonight the other first-string members are going to your home" for an instant panic flashed across his face "T-there were never any witnesses left alive…"
She laid back on the ground and took a few more shuddering breaths and she knew what was left of the bone in her deformed thigh was shattered "We've always killed those who stood in the way. How many people were at your house?" she didn't sound happy. It wasn't quite sorrow either. It couldn't when it was her family against his servants.
"Killed?" she nodded "Nobody spared?" again she nodded. He gave a revolted chuckle, neither party could stand the sound and it showed "Just who do you think we are? They are my servants, servants of the Hive of Phantoms. And like phantoms nothing we do not will could ever touch us."
Hehehehe, again something different happened…at the home of the Phantomhive it was Joker who Dagger gave his life for…and who died in the end. Wendy though, the little girl survived. It was Mey-Rin's shot that kept her alive. It sliced the rope she held and she fell to the ground with a sharp crash. She was left alone until that morning when Tanaka held her unconscious form in a small room where none of the others would find her.
As a butler he prided himself on obeying his master's orders. The manor was protected but what was to be gained from killing the girl now? He would wait.
Ciel was unperturbed at the news of an attack on his home after the momentary panic of Elizabeth being there died down "They are more than servants, it would be more correct to call them my own army, their duty is to protect the Phantomhive Family's secrets and pride."
"Army?" Beast whimpered.
Sebastian nodded "The Phantomhive exists to rid the Queen of her distress, if you touch those shadows they will cover you and light will never return"
She started "They are the best of the best-"
The butler held the clean knife as a reminder of what he could do "Believe what you will, but I assure you I chose only those who can protect my master"
She closed her eyes in hope "I wonder, what could we have done. Like the nursery rhyme we were 'capable of playing only one song' but what if something different had happened?"
In the Dog of the Queen's eyes she caught something so close to companionship she felt more tears fall "Don't cry so shamefully, crying won't change a thing…the world is not that kind to anyone"
She bit her lip "Smile…"
He closed off his emotions again and tapped his heel on the floor "I am not smile. I am Ciel Phantomhive. Only that…nothing more."
The doctor came as you know and Ciel felt his own bile rush out at the words and the ghoulish memories. It was the butler who came to his aid "You will never stand in a cage as long as I serve you my lord" he pulled the eye patch strings "Now, command me"
The shaken boy only gasped "K-KILL THESE SONS OF BITCHES!"
Blood erupted and the next order came "Burn it"
"My lord, her Majesty wished the return of the children-"
"Shut up! Burn it! I am the Master and this is an order!"
Sebastian obeyed, as a good butler should.
As the green-behind-the-ears boys from the department went to work…rather slowly I must say, you know what. I'm just going to stop talking about them, it's kind of…well, it's really boring!
Doll's much more interesting. She stopped her horse in front of the flaming mansion before throwing herself off with a cry of "Sister! Sister Beast!"
Out of the inferno walked Smile, guhehehehehehe, and Black." Guys, why are you here? What happened? Father is-"
The taller of the duo cut in "Dead"
She gripped Smile "What? Say something!"
He slapped her hand away "Don't touch me!" he screamed as he curled into Black.
The Butler explained slowly "The Queen ordered us after you to find the missing children"
She screamed with defiant disbelief "You're with the Yard to capture us?"
"Not quite, we are the Queen's Watchdog, the Phantomhive, she ordered your extermination."
Her face fell "S-Smile…it was a lie? E-everything?"
He was quiet "That's right. I am Earl Ciel Phantomhive, my only job is to wipe clean her Majesty's worries. That's why they are dead. I killed them"
She pulled back before curling onto her self "I can't…I can't forgive you!…won't forgive you!" she screamed with tears flooding her face.
She leapt with a knife.
It would have been a glorious end. The girl killed by the demon. But what if it wasn't the end?
A whip cut forward and the knife was wrenched out of her hand. Beast sat a few feet away with her whip, slightly burned and missing her prosthetic but still very much alive "D-Doll, don't be stupid, nobody wants to see you kill yourself"
Doll rushed to her sister and helped her stand. Ciel turned to face Sebastian who gave a polite smile "You said 'kill these sons of bitches' and technically, she isn't a son of anyone."
This was the only time my warning has ever been heeded. I could almost cry…but I won't because crying isn't funny. But what happens after this is so I'll go on.
Sebastian waited for the order to kill them. He believed it would come. But it never did. Instead the small master held out one trembling hand.
Beast and Doll only stared at it for a moment. Doll slowly took it with her free hand, the other held up her sister. Between four people only one could truly stand.
They walked for some time before a city hovered into view, and rain unlike anything they had seen started to pour, in only minutes the streets were flooded and the girls could only follow the unerring butler's path. Beds were procured and the former performers fell asleep.
But the Noble and his dog quickly went to the ruins of the workhouse. That scene you should know…and since you do know I'm gonna skip until thing get a bit different! 'Cause I can!
So instead of going straight home Sebastian gave a call to the former Head Butler and current House steward, "This is quite the surprise…"
Ciel looked at his companion "What is?"
"One of the other members is alive, Wendy if I recall, the little trapeze girl"
The lord sat in the chair and watched Beast and Doll continue to sleep, he was cold but not heartless "Do you think she could be useful?" he asked as he set his chin on woven fingers.
Sebastian leaned against the wall and thought deeply "I believe so. What do you have in mind?"
The lord gave a smirk "At the moment you and Tanaka are my only truly skilled servants…I was thinking about asking The General to train them"
The demon gave a succinct nod "Of course my lord. His training is comparable to my own and he is trustworthy. Shall I tell Tanaka to bring her here?"
The lord nodded and they set about waiting…eh, not all that long but still! I get bored easily! Anyways, when Wendy and the old man got there Beast and Doll were awake. He gave them their heartfelt moment as he stepped into the hall with the two servants and told them his plan.
Tanaka smiled "Most fitting my lord, we are in dire need of more help"
The lord walked into the room to see all of them perched on the bed, Wendy sat between the other two who had their arms wrapped around her. Doll and Beast were greatly saddened but Wendy's eyes were dead. Her brothers were slaughtered before her eyes and she couldn't do anything. He tapped his cane lightly against the floor and they all looked at him. "Former members of Noah's Arc…I have a question for you. What are you going to do now?"
Beast glanced at her missing leg and Doll gripped Wendy tighter "I-I guess we gotta go back to the circus…"
Sebastian shook his head "I do not think that can happen, as of now you are alone. You slept for an entire day. They are no longer in the town and I would recommend that as you are criminals that you not be allowed to wander."
Doll's eyes started to fill with tears "Then what are we supposed to do?"
Ciel gave a smirk that had all of them pulling back, the usual smile that adorned his face "Work for me."
"Eh?"
"Come work for me. I'm always looking for reliable servants."
Beast looked again at her leg "But I'm missing a leg and none of us know anything about working at an estate!"
Ciel's smile only brightened mischievously "That's why I'm taking you to a friend for training…and I need to have a talk with him"
Left with no other option Wendy opened her mouth "We don't have a choice…"
Tanaka gave a serene smile "Of course not" and they loaded up into a large carriage and carried out through the rain to Yorkshire.
What the newest additions saw was not what they expected. Where they stopped was a very small manor or large house decorated sparsely with a few benches but many trees that lined the entirety of the large property and covered the lawn granting many shaded paths. The Earl lifted the knocker bar and let it hit the unpainted wooden door with a heavy thump.
The door slid open of it's own accord and slid closed behind them. None of the Phantomehive took this as odd but Wendy gripped Doll's leg and Doll held Beast closer as they limped deeper into the manor. They stopped at a large sitting room decorated with giant maps of the world and oceans, the mantle had two pictures on it and nothing else. The circus members were becoming…twitchy.
Ciel sat totally at ease "Calm down, we are perfectly safe. Nothing is going to crawl out of the dark"
Sebastian couldn't help the smirk that danced across his mouth as he stared pointedly at his Master who returned the expression. Both were missed by the women. Before anything else could be said an old man walked in silently.
The dark blue suit he wore was crisp very much reminisce of a military uniform, his shoes were polished to a high shine as well as his cane, both of them black. His balding head was covered with a stovetop hat that matched his suit, his face was very tanned with many wrinkles and piercing dull green eyes, his mouth was covered by a beard that reached the middle of his black tie but manicured. He had stood straight and tall for many years though age was curving his back now and it was just beginning to show.
He twitched his nose "Earl Phantomehive. To what do I owe the honor?" he rasped out before sitting across from the boy and nodding his head at the servants who inclined their heads and at the women who looked terrified.
"General, no need to stand on such pleasantries now" the lord said before he gestured to the butler who flashed to his side with a cup of warm tea for the two sitting men.
Leaning back the old man nodded "Very well, what can I do for you Ciel? Or does this have to do with you not telling me about your relapse?" the General growled he turned to the two butlers "Both of you should have called me. Red trusted her nephew to me when he got sick the first time. I expect better from both of you"
Sebastian and Tanaka bowed as the former apologized "Forgive us General, we were both worried and by the time a doctor could be called he was on the mend" the glare from the old man prompted him to add "Though next time we will not make such a mistake"
With a gruff grunt the man turned back to the child "General…I know you spent many years working on prosthetics, perhaps I could reignite that spark in you?"
Lifting the tea and staring into it's depths he spoke "Not just candy and toys any more, eh?"
Ciel waved a hand "Doll's limbs and artificial human ones, there is no difference."
"Wouldn't know about toys…but I take it that's not the only reason you ventured this far from London with three girls is it?"
Beast, Doll and Wendy seemed to settle a bit as the Earl looked at them with a smile "No, although this was partly a business venture. During my last job for the Queen I discovered them. They are…in need of employment and at the present I don't have the time to teach them their jobs. I thought to kill two birds with one stone"
The old man sniffed once before watching them "I'll have some of my old designs to you in a few weeks. I want the same contract I had for your father drawn up." the Earl nodded and was off leaving the girls with a man they knew nothing about.
And since things with the little master are boring I'll skip toooooooo…aha! Here! When the magical person box appears!
But first I'd like to…talk to you about something. The Earl may not be a Marques or a Duke, but even the Queen takes his advice when it comes to things of the underworld. When the Earl moves the underworld moves. There are those that would…suggest…that he is the one behind the movements.
Though that one particular thing will be dealt with later…and I really want one of my crunchy bones! You there! Go get me some! They're in my shop! Second shelf right next to the plushy coffin pillow…grab that too!
Sebastian and Ciel actually enjoyed their little talk with Mr. Wordsmith, he's funny. Well, I think he is, they probably just thought he was amusing or something but he makes me laugh…yeah. Anyways, the Butler looked at his master "Actually, there was another uninvited guest"
His master leapt to his feet "What did you say!?"
Out from the beneath the table the butler pulled out a huge box…it's a good trick, ahem, but he said "Since it was a bit sudden, I had him taken to this luxury suite."
His master stared at the box for a moment uncomprehendingly "The killer is in here?" he receives a nod "…show me what's inside"
"I might suggest that isn't a good idea"
"Do it, I need to know"
"Of course" he quickly pulled off the chains and the lid when two serpents leapt out at Ciel. Caught only millimeters from his face it wasn't unusual from him to be panting on his backside…where he was. "They seem to target you" came the butler's ever so subtle jibe "That's why I tried to warn you…"
"Snake?" the little master questioned. After explaining the capture of the ever so expressionless supposed man-snake hybrid Ciel asked "Why is he here?"
Snake started to scream against everything Ciel knew about the calm man "The day after Black and Smile sunk into Joker and everyone's tents, they all disappeared. It's definitely your fault!…Says Wilde. That's why I followed Smile from the scent on his clothes…says Oscar."
Then it came to light how the prince led the assassin to the garget Ciel turned around "Idiots!"
Sebastian bit back a black chuckle "Not even we could have predicted this…"
The master turned around "You mentioned that their disappearance was our fault?"
Snake started to tremble with emotion "That's right! After you guys showed up they started acting weird!…says Wordsworth. I somehow got that they were hiding something from me. But even looking like this they called me their friend. They called me family! You took that from me! I won't forgive you!"
Smile looked at him with something deeply hidden in his eyes "Noah's Ark kidnapped children in almost every town you were in. We posed as your companions to find evidence"
"K-Kidnappers!? D-Don't lie to me!…says Oscar"
Phantomhive turned his head "It is true that I stole your happiness in some regards, but" he stepped closer "What if I told you that I have some measure of peace for you here. I want to save you. Allow me that. It's true that…Joker, Dagger, Peter and Jumbo died. But they came to steal away the happiness of those here. My people against yours. It is the way of the world." Snake curled into himself as the Master turned. "Get me the General…put them on the phone"
The serpents around snake were as unresponsive as their master as the boy held the phone to his ear. A voice he had hoped to hear for many days now filled the line "Snake. Snake? SNAAAAKE!"
He shot up "B-Beast?…says Keats"
She laughed happily "It's good to hear your voice."
Doll grabbed the phone "Snake! Haha! You beat us there!"
Wendy peacefully got the phone "Brother Snake…" emotion was laced in her voice.
"See, they are alive. I offered them a place here. Would you take the same?" the master said as he took away the rope bindings.
Snake looked at the boy with something glimmering in his eyes that the boy hadn't felt in many years. He took the hand with hope.
After my amazing act with the 'dead' butler I'll just mosey on to the introduction of the servants…sounds fun, huh!