The Last Straw

Topanga stood outside her daughter's bedroom, the door was opened just a crack and the only reason she knew Riley was in their alone was because of the sad music playing. She never let it play while Maya was sitting with her. No these days they just sat in silence, each day just waiting for the spark that would set off the epic war that was brewing between them over Lucas Friar.

She sighed, wishing there was something she could do to make Riley feel better, to get her out of this funk she seemed to be in, but it was like everything she said or did just got her pushed away further.

The music stopped, and Topanga braced herself for a reason to be in the hallway when she heard her daughter's voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you Riley, that's what friends do."

Topanga sighed with relief, Farkle.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You can't lie to me Riley I know you're not fine. I know you're mad at me, you're mad at yourself, you're mad at Maya who else are you mad at?"

"I'm mad at everyone, you're right. I'm mad at you for revealing everything on New Year's, and I'm mad at Maya because she had these feelings and didn't think she could talk to me, and now we can't talk." Riley sighed, "I'm mad at myself for all the pain I've caused, and I'm mad at my Mother for always talking about how wonderful Maya is. How strong she is. So of course Lucas is going to pick her."

"You're mad at your Mom?"

Topanga gripped the wall, Riley was mad at her?

"Maya is strong. Maya is an Amazon Warrior. Maya, Maya, Maya." Riley spat out, "It's bad enough that Lucas is between Maya and I, but so is my Mother. And if my Mom likes Maya better, how on earth can I even dream about Lucas liking me better."

"Riles, I don't think it's the way you see it. I'm not denying that you feel that way, but I don't think your mother prefers Maya over you, and I know Lucas doesn't."

"Then why is he torn, why can't he decide?"

"Because he believes in the friendship between you and Maya, the two of you are a package deal in a way. While I might love the both of you the same, Lucas doesn't." he took a moment, "Riley, you and Maya need to figure out whatever this is between you before Lucas could even make a choice, that's not a choice."

"But how, how do she and I figure this out?"

"What would your Uncle Eric have you do?"

Topanga hated it, but Farkle was right, maybe.

"He'd find a way to get us to talk about it. Like when Lucas called her short."

"Then let's find a way to get the two of you to finally talk about it."

"What if it gets ugly?"

"Maybe it needs to, I think the both of you need to say stuff, and you both might not like it. But you can't keep holding it in."

Damn the kid really was a genius. Topanga sighed, not able to listen to anymore as she went towards the kitchen.

"You okay?" Cory looked up from the paper he was grading for summer school.

Topanga shook her head, trying to process everything she overheard, "Riley is mad at me."

He looked at his wife confused, "Why?" before looking back at the paper and marking a grade.

"She thinks I like Maya better, and if I like Maya better that Lucas must as well." She sat in her chair, her eyes getting lost looking in the distance.

"That's ridiculous Topanga, where did you get an idea like that?" He recorded the grade in his grade book before looking up, "Topanga?"

Her words were soft and slow, "I overheard her telling Farkle."

Cory realized how serious this was at the moment, "She really said that?"

Topanga nodded, "How did this happen?"

Cory put his papers aside for a moment, trying to decide how to handle this. "Maybe you should ask Riley."

"And let her know that I was listening to her conversation with Farkle?"

Cory sighed, "This is between you and Riley I think I need to stay out of it."

"So this isn't a lesson you're going to teach them?"

"Nope, they're not in my class, its summer."

"Of course" Topanga gave her husband a weak smile.

"So, we're just going to sit here and not talk again huh?" Maya came in through the window as Riley turned off the music she'd been playing. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" Riley hadn't even realized she'd done anything.

"Turn off the music. What don't you want me to hear?"

"I do that, I didn't notice." Riley rose from the bay window, her mind still on what she and Farkle had discussed the night before.

Maya followed her across the room and pulled up the playlist that Riley had been listening to. "Oh, that's why."

"Why?"

"Summer Rain playlist" Maya glared to Riley, "Songs that make you think about Lucas, right?"

"So what, am I not allowed to think about Lucas?" Riley felt her heart racing as she looked at the girl who was supposed to be her best friend, her sister. "Are you only allowed to think about him Maya? Are you the only one allowed to have feelings for him?"

Maya was stunned by the way Riley's voice grew louder with each word, the intensity of her eyes, the way her body moved. "Are you? Why are you the only one that gets to have feelings for Lucas?"

"When did you start to like him?" Riley demanded.

Topanga came in the front door with Auggie and heard the yelling from Riley's room. She turned to her son, "Go to Ava's."

"What?" He looked at his mother confused.

"You heard me, go to Ava's, now Auggie." She made sure her youngest was out the door before she closed it, knowing she was about to walk into the hornets' nest of teen angst and anger.

Maya didn't answer she just stared at Riley for a moment, "Why does that matter?"

"It matters Maya! Did you like him from the day on the subway, or was it after that? Was it not until yearbooks came out?"

"I don't know." Maya bit her lip, "It wasn't right away, it wasn't like how you fell into his arms and boom you're crazy about him."

Riley nodded, "So you knew I liked Lucas and you still let yourself fall for him, is that it?"

"I thought you liked him more like a brother, you guys didn't work out when you tried to date."

Topanga listened at the doorway, realizing just how bad this was getting.

"Because of the pressure did I ever tell you that I liked Lucas as a brother before Texas? Did I ever give you that kind of indication?"

"No" Maya shook her head, "But when I pretended to be you, that's what it felt like to me."

"You weren't me though Maya, you were you being who you think I am." Riley looked to the person outside of her family she knew the longest, and she thought the best until right now, "I don't think you know me at all."

"Oh come on Riley, I know you the best out of everyone." Maya really didn't know what all of this meant.

Riley took several steps towards her friend, looking down into her blue eyes, "If you really knew me, you would've known I've had feelings for Lucas this entire time, that when I thought you stepped back to give me the chance, that I did it for you, because I always put you above myself, that everyone puts you above me. Except Farkle, who saw how hurt I was, who tried to make it right on New Year's Eve, even if all he did was make it worse. Farkle saw how hurt I was, how sad, and you didn't. My own parents didn't see if but oh they see how confused you are, you strong Amazon Warrior. Is there anything in my life we don't share, we share my parents, Farkle, my Uncle Josh, and now Lucas."

Topanga covered her mouth to keep from making a sound. Lucas was only a symptom of a much larger issue.

"That's not true Riley." Maya wasn't sure how to defend this though.

"Who do you go to when something's wrong, who do you cry to? Not your Mom, not your Grandmother, you come to my Mom. So you know what, take them. They're yours now, not like they would miss me." Riley went to the window, "Take the playlist to, take it all, that's what you want isn't it, everything I have?"

"Where are you going?"

Riley didn't answer as she climbed out the window.

Topanga quickly dashed out of the apartment, trying to make it down the stairs in her heels, kicking them off at the first landing before racing out to the street. She didn't see Riley anywhere. Where would she go? At that moment Topanga realized she had no idea where her daughter would go when she was upset.

Riley breathed in the city air as she sat on the roof of the building. When she climbed out the window she didn't know where to go, and while she had thought of just getting on a train for Philadelphia, she realized her wallet was in her room and Maya was still in her room. So she had to go for a second option.

Her phone buzzed, over and over again her mother calling Maya calling. Farkle texted her and she replied back that she was in a safe place, she just needed time and space.

"It's no tree house, but considering we don't have trees or a yard, I guess it will do." Cory sat next to her on the bench.

"How did you know where to find me?"

"I asked myself if I were Riley, where would I go." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and sighing, "And then I realized I had no idea because all I could think of was the bay window, and considering Maya is sitting there right now, I knew that wouldn't be an option. So then I had to think to myself, where would I have gone when I was her age if I just had a fight with Shawn."

"And you thought the roof?"

He chuckled, "No, I thought I would've gone home to my family, I would've vented to Eric or Morgan, or Mr. Feeny even. That's when I realized part of the problem between you girls. It's not just Lucas I don't even think it is Lucas that's the problem. I think he's just the straw that broke the camel's back."

"Okay Dad, what's the lesson here? There has to be a lesson, right?"

"Shawn and I are the best of friends, but we weren't always. It took us a long time to get as close as we are. You and Maya got there a lot faster, and I think at times you're Mom and I might have tried to over compensate for things we thought my parents should've done for Shawn, by doing things for Maya." Cory could feel the knots in his stomach, "We love you Riley, and sometimes I know we forget to tell you how wonderful you. We forget that you need to hear it, especially from us. We know how strong you are, we also know you're at an age where you start to pull away from us."

Riley nodded as she listened to her father, soaking in his words, watching as he stood up, pacing around a small portion of the roof.

"So sometimes we try to give you the space we think you need, hoping that when you're ready you'll come to us to talk about it all. Every time you've gotten close Maya has come in, very ready and willing to talk about her confusion, hasn't she?" Cory watched Riley nod her head as wipe away the tears before they could fall.

He pulled his daughter into his arms, "We love you Riley, you are our daughter you can and should come to us anytime you need to. Please never feel like you can't."

She couldn't hold it back any longer, the months of emotions, pent up, growing, twisting released into sobs against her father's shoulder.

"You can't live your life trying to make Maya happy while making yourself miserable." He rubbed her back as she continued to sob. "If I wasn't a little selfish I wouldn't have married your Mother and I wouldn't have you and Auggie."

Riley pulled away from her father to look at him, wiping her tears with the ball of her hand, "How do I do that?"

Cory smiled, he could see the shimmer of his daughter making her way back to him, "One of the best things I think for Shawn and I, was that there were times we spent apart. I went on a road trip with Eric one summer; Shawn went in search of himself after his father died. We didn't do those together. I'm not saying you go on a road trip or anything, but maybe not spend so much time together. Grow, discover yourselves, you need to find Riley and she needs to find Maya."

Riley sighed, "Thanks Dad, you're the best."

"Your Mom and I are both here for you."

Riley closed her eyes for a second, "I know Dad, I know."

Auggie stood in Riley's doorway, watching Maya sit in the window, drumming her fingers on her knee while she waited, for what he didn't know.

He stood up as straight and as tall as he possibly could and marched over towards her, "I think it's time you left."

"What are you talking about squirt?"

"I said it's time for you to leave." Auggie sat in the spot his sister normally would occupy, "You've upset my sister, so you need to leave."

"You don't understand what's going on. It's between me and Riley."

Auggie rolled his eyes, "When you all got back from Texas, I told Lucas not to hurt my sister. I guess it should've been you I told. I try to be nice to you Maya because Riley loves you, but you're a bad friend to Riley."

"Excuse me, what do you know about this?"

"I know that you make Riley sad, I know that you like the same boy Riley likes, and you started liking him after she had liked him for a while." Auggie moved closer, "I know that Riley is sad all the time, I know that Riley feels like Mom likes you better; I know that none of this would be happening if it weren't for you."

"You really think that's what's going on?" Maya wasn't sure what to make of the pint sized Matthews.

Auggie nodded, "I know it's what's going on." He leaned in closer, "Riley is sacrificing her own happiness for you. Have you ever done that for Riley? No, you haven't. So like I said, you should go now."

"Auggie" Riley only caught the last part, not exactly sure what she walked in on.

He didn't say anything else he just gave Maya a look that terrified her a little before he bounced out of the room.

"We need to talk." Riley took the seat Auggie had just occupied.

"Okay, talk."

Riley looked down at her hands, "I think you and I need some time apart. I think we need to take time to discover who we are; I think we need to grow before one of us over shadows the other."

"You think I overshadow you? You're the sun Riley."

"And right now I feel as though you are eclipsing me from my life. I think some time, space; between us is a good idea."

"Just because I like Lucas to?"

Riley shook her head, "It's not about Lucas, not really. He was just the final straw that broke the camel's back. It's about me needing to put myself first, you needing to I don't even know what you need. I wish it was just Lucas, because if it was I think I would know how to solve this, but it's deeper and it's been brewing for a while."

"Do you think I'm a bad friend?" Maya held her breath as she waited for an answer.

Riley closed her eyes, "You haven't been a very good one the last few months, but I haven't been a good one to you either. Another reason I think we need time and space."

"So you're breaking up with me?"

"No, you will always be my best friend. I just think you need to figure out Maya, and I need to figure out Riley, and we need to do it apart."

"Who gets Farkle?"

"I'm not going to ask the boys to pick sides, if any of them gravitate one way or another, so be it. That goes for all three."

Maya nodded, "So, how does this work?"

"I don't know, I think maybe for the summer, we just pretend the other is out of town and see how it goes."

"I guess I'll see you in September." Maya moved to the window, looking around the room and at Riley, not sure if this was the last time she would ever be here, but it sure felt like it. "I hope we find whatever it is we need to find."

"I hope so to." Riley watched as Maya left, the knot that had been in her stomach for months had dissolved, she didn't know what was going to happen next but she felt a lot better about all of it.

"May I come in?" Topanga knocked softly on the door.

"Sure Mom." Riley looked out the window, afraid to look at her mother.

"So, you and Maya taking a break huh?"

"Yeah, you could probably catch her before she hits the subway if you want to comfort her about it."

"I deserve that." Topanga tilted Riley's head to face her. "You are my Daughter Riley. I haven't been very fair to you, I don't think I realized you needed me, and it felt good to be needed by someone."

"Of course I need you, you're my Mom I'm always going to need you." Riley was fighting back a new round a tears from bubbling up.

"You are so strong sometimes I forget that you can break, just like I can." Topanga wipedthe escaped tears with her thumb, "I know the last few months haven't been easy, and I know I'm part of that. I'm sorry Riley, I was so busy wanting to be needed by you, that I didn't see the signs you did need me."

Riley didn't say anything she just hugged her mother tightly and allowed herself to cry as she had with her father not that long ago on the roof.

Topanga hugged her back, feeling her daughter relax in her arms, and she knew that they would be okay, it might take time, but they would be okay.