Ash woke up at the sensation of him pissing in his own face. He yawned, stuck his cock in his own nose, then sniffled so hard, he came, the jizz was sticky and it got stuck in his thorax, so he suffocated and died. Pikachu came and saved him by punching into his stomach, ripping his liver out and making a new one from the cockflesh of Wailords, so he didn't die. Ash thanked him by punching him with a shovel, then he took a walk. He saw a Skitty. His liver hardened.
Along with his cock. He broke a bottle of vodka and spilled it all over his organ. The Skitty saw some of it even started to steam. Her nose twitched. She jumped him, licking the vile drink off his penis, moaning at the taste. He turned her around, getting a view of her pussy. He punched his head there then vomited thunderbolts everywhere. She came, screaming for help. When she was done, he took his head out then knelt before her, then his liver punched through the stitches. It ripped the Skitty's head off then stuffed it up her anus then laughed a throaty laugh, which made the all the neighbour galaxies turn into mayonnaise!
A trainer with a team full of Audino rode a tachyon towards that galaxy and sucked it up his dickhole. Ash was enraged so he ate a ton of watermelons then aiming his asshole at the right cornea of that mindless pokerapist, shot him with four, five and 2141223,5 seeds at 3 times the speed of light. The trainer ate all the buttseeds and became stronger. But his dick was still sweaty.
To solve this dilemma, he scratched his cocksweat off with a tin can then rubbed it all over his face. He then stuffed an electro-shocker up his rectum, zapped his prostate and delivered at Ash a headbutt so destructive, it made Giratina cry.
Ash masturbated so much, his foreskin came off. He ate it, then he exploded, because he was stupid.
Zombie Ash got up, then executed a technique that he, himself, invented, that dumbo.
He punched his punch into his own nostril, then punched his snot-covered punch into the trainer's face with a fuckforce so blinding, it made all faces that witnessed it melt off. The trainer scratched Ash's boneface with a screwdriver and constantly sniffled at the resulting powder.
The bonepowder gave him a delusion. He was a tyrannical overlord; his fingers were pistols made of legs and a face made of rubidium. On his knee sat a beast so invisible that it didn't exist, a golem's groin carbunkle, a potato that smelt of outdated toothpaste and a two-legged vagina. His breath smelt of filth and supergarlic, and his thoughts were atomic explosions. He raped quasars and froze their lube to build weapons and castles, also he was a big fan of depressive-suicidal black metal.
While he was admiring himself in a mirror, he was a Kangaskhan. He ate her, and it caused him a boner so massive, in knocked out, then knocked up, all legendaries.
He returned from his delusion. He saw Ash. Ash killed him so hard, it made all vaginas explode, and all cats sang of terrors of world hunger due to humans' overpopulation.
Suddenly, an army of five and 12548375892375231587123523850923783215678321647568976156789462184532157313512671235326132521145325874574521364532642613461236412534531264154 floating Sharpedo cocks appeared. Ash frowned. He stretched his arm diagonally upwards. A portal opened, it led to a dimension full of pure, indescribable, endless pain of broken hearts. Forth out of it came a sword made of dragon energy and cosmic lasers. His life-killing weapon throbbed and snarled constantly, releasing powers that rid every creature of any chance to stay intact or unhurt.
Ash screamed like a rabid anime character. He dashed towards his enemies, swinging his mighty blade like a fly-beating stick, killing them all the same way, then he ate an apple.
A dickhole named Chubby Fuck approached Ash, tugged at his pants and asked for a pat.
Ash told Chubby Fuck to eat a dick sandwich.
Chubby Fuck thought of eggs.
Ash's stupid red hat left the head it sat perched upon for micro-ages. It flew through space, observing the picture of a city. It had found a jaw, then it had found a boy being pressed by a bully. The hat approached the bully and took its knife away. The bully made a confused sound. The hat sharpened the knife with the powers of philosophy and a rock, then handed it back to the bully. He smiled and thanked the hat. The hat floated away. Later, out of the corner where it was earlier, the bully's head rolled off, while the boy laughed like a maniac. The hat smiled.
The hat floated, not upwards, not sideways, not even stayed in one place; it floated somewhere beyond Z Axis, Y Axis or X Axis bounds, the made up shit that older humans say to confuse children. It pierced space, and appeared in a strange place, where a beardy man sat behind a computer, fatigued and grouchy.
This man was Fate. The hat floated towards Fate. Fate looked at the hat. The hat slapped him with his own arm. Fate looked at his own arm and smiled, thanking the hat. It floated back to the bounds, hearing the man screaming in pleasures he never experienced before.
The hat floated skywards. It reached cosmos, and floated towards the threateningly enormous ball of fire, not burning out or stopping before it. The hat encircled the sphere once. Then twice. Then thrice. It started to encircle it so fast, the fiery ball spun around at crazy speeds. Then the hat stopped, admiring its work; a cosmic plasma tornado. The hat trembled, releasing energy in amounts so large, humans will take aeons to come up with a name for it, much less be able to count it. A gigantic wave of sour cream rose over the star. The milk product doused it all, leaving in its wake a pathetic ball of rock and cosmic cheese. The Earth was doomed and left to the misery of darkness and the fear of the unknown. Humans screamed, marauders celebrated, many died. Only did Ash laugh, masturbating to the very picture of an apocalypse unfolding before his eyes. The hat laid back on its place, pleased with its work, only wishing it had a penis on its own.
Somewhere, in distant past, Ash was making random sounds in Cynthia's face, when Pikachu suddenly sprouted a tank for a nose...
Fin.