I saw her in New York. Not the busy street life, but a quiet part.
Sitting on a bench, bundled up In a brown coat. Her eyes drawn to the mist of the lake. Her ebony hair caressing her cheek, blushed by the cold.
For the past seven years I'd imagined her in vain, for in none of my wildest fantasies could a great beauty be found to match this…this…angel.
She sensed me tool her eyes, hesitant at first, moving slowly. She got up and turned around.
I move with great ease-that I now despise-behind and old sycamore.
She didn't see me, but I could see her, even to the extent of her disappointment.
She walked. Walked right past me. It took every ounce of my being not to reach out, grab her, tell her how much I loved her, missed her. "Sa-"
It was a slight slip of the tongue, barley above a whisper. But it stopped her, for second.
She turned her head ever so slightly to where I could just see the corners of her mouth.
In a single breath, she said my name. "Alex?"
I did not answer her back. I couldn't. I didn't have the nerve to just step into her life. And even if I did, where would it go from there. I was a spy, and she knew that, but still, there would be secrets, risks. My life, like my father's, would constantly be in danger and so would hers. And if we had children and something where to happen to us, would they be just like me? Used and manipulated by a government agency simply because it-I- was in their blood as my father's blood is in mine?
But would that be bad?
I've saved the world countless times, surely they would be able to do the same. But like me, the simply would not be happy.
So Sabina remains, now and forever, my risk not taken.