Disclaimer: I watched the credits on Friday, and according to them, Linda Schuyler and Stephen Stohn own Degrassi, not me. But they should share it with me, Barney agrees.

[Summary: ] A few months after Clare breaks into Eli's room and finds out about his problem, Eli thinks it time she heard about how he met Julia. Can she handle what he wants her to know? Or will it end in eClare's break up?

A/N: If you don't want to read about Julia, GTFO. This is what I think would go down if Eli told Clare about his meeting with Julia, and the day she died.

itialics is Eli telling Clare his memories. It will be typed as if he's telling the story, but with out "quotations"

regular font is "in the real time," conversation between Eli and Clare

There's something you need to know.

It is all Eli's POV

"Eli, you don't have to tell me this. I don't want to push you to tell me anything. We can wait for this. We can wait until you're ready to talk about her." Her wonderful blue eyes met mine, a pai of sadness kneeled over her at the very mention of Julia's name. Yet she seemed so eger to know my past with my ex-lover.

"No, Edwards, you need to know. The whole story." I kissed her lightly on the cheek, unable to bring my lips to hers, as she crossed her legs on my bed wearing a pair of my basketball shorts and an over sized t-shirt I wore on days I was washing my skinny jeans and Dead Hand shirts.

I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. Her soft dark brown hair, blowing in the wind. A smile, which I'd grow to know was rare, crept slowly on her face, staying small. Her deep brown eyes met mine, "Hi, I'm Julia." She had the voice of a sweet angel.

"Eli." Short and sweet. She was beautiful, but she could do better then me. I was just a plain guy, who wore all black and drove a hearse. She was like an angel sent from heaven. The guy she should date was a jock, a football player. Someone strong enough to carry her off into the sunset.

"Is that short something? Like Eliot, or Elijah?" Why was she still trying? Couldn't she see the obvious? She was too good for me.

"Nope. I'm just Eli. Is there something I can help you with?" I was being cold, but I didn't see why she was around.

"You're really cute." That smile was back. I averted my eyes from the ground and up at her as the wind picked up. Her dark brown hair swiping to one side of her oval head, and she brought her small fingers up to her face to move the strands away. Her amazing brown eyes never left my green.

"Clare, why are you crying?"

"It's just so... I don't know. It's so moving. Go on. I want to know it all."

For months, we were just friends. Like me and you. Nothing serious turned into something, well, very serious. She had just had a fight with her step mom and came over to my house to get away from it. We were sitting in my room, doing homework, when all of the sudden, she kissed me. That's when I knew I had feelings for her. Feelings that just wouldn't go away. For a few weeks, we were just friends who made out a lot. We were sitting at a table in the courtyard of my old school one day, and I asked her to be my girlfriend, claiming it was weird making out with her everyday knowing she wasn't mine at all.

That's when our relationship really started. Her fights with her step mom became more frequent, so she was over a lot more. At first, it started off as innocent bliss, making out, exploring. But we quickly took it farther in our heated relationship. We spent less and less time outside my bedroom.

Tears were streaming down my face, uncontrollably, knowing that what I was about to say would shatter my heart, as it had when I told my parents, and then again when I told Adam.

One night, she came over, her eyes were blood shot, I guessed from crying. We went up to my room to talk about it. One thing lead to another, clothes came off, and it got really heated.

I loved Julia. More then anyone could ever imagine. I still do, in a way. We were together for a year and a half before that night. She called me Andrew. Andrew.

I stopped everything I was doing and looked at her. "Why did you just say my best friend's name Julia?" She never answered me. I just pulled my shirt back over my head, and my did the zipper and button back up, crawling off her. "You've been sleeping with him behind my back, haven't you?" Still no answer. "You know, Julia, they say girls who sleep with their boyfriend's best friend is a skank. A skank who should get out of my bed, house and life. "

"Eli, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! He just said somethings to me today-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT JULIA! GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!" I yelled at her. I never, ever yelled unless.. well, no You don't need to know that yet. She broke my heart. The next day, her sister called to ask me if I'd seen her. I just hung up on her sister, thinking Julia had gone back to Andrew.

"Clare, please stop crying, you're making it very hard to finish"

"B-but E-eli, I j-just can't help it! Please finish. I n-need to know everything."

I found out later in the afternoon from her sister that she'd been killed by a drunk driver. It was raining, and she was crying, riding her bike home. He came out of nowhere and hit her. Then left. I attended her funeral, but I slipped in a little late on purpose, and sat in the back, lipping out early so I would go unnoticed. I found out the Monday after her funeral that she hadn't been sleeping with Andrew, but he tried, which is what she was trying to explain to me. And that's why I kept everything. Because I thought that if I kept everything, every memory for the rest of my life, I could feel like I was telling her I didn't mean what I said. And that I wouldn't let someone else get hurt. I threw away my relationship with her that night, so throwing anything else away, it would kill someone I loved, literally. I guess things just got out of hand.

"Oh, Eli. I know I'll never understand the pain you feel until I loose you, but, I'm always here to talk. Anything. Anytime. I'll listen. Even if you just want to cry. I'm here. I'll be your rock. You're stuck with me. I promise."

"Clare. You have no idea how much that means. But its bad enough you helped me sift through every last memory I had with Julia in the past few weeks. I won't make you listen to what I have to say too."

A few moments past. Clare sat, holding my hand, her head neatly placed in the crook of my neck. "What are you thinking about Eli?"

It was October. We were sitting at picnic bench. We weren't dating yet, but it was something that needed to be done. Both of us waited for a long time to make the action. I fantasized about how it would work all day. I imagined taking her face in my hand, pulling her closer, gently, pushing my lips on her soft ones. She told me once that she'd never been really truly kissed, with passion. I wanted so badly to change that. She said what she needed to say and our lips collided, perfectly in rhythm with one another. When it was over, I wanted to do it again, but I felt... Guilt. Like I betrayed someone.

"Clare, why are you staring at me like that?"

"You're talking about us, Eli." More tears fell down Clare beautiful porclien face, "Tell me more aobut Julia. I want to feel like I know her too."

She was amazing. A different amazing then you, but all in the same. She put a smile on my face, the same one you do. When I try to think about her, I always end up thinking of you. Her brown eyes, as beautiful as they were, they were nothing compared to your blue orbs.

I went on for hours, telling Clare about Julia, and reminding her constantly why I love her. I looked down to see Clare asleep on my lap, a slight smile on her face. I grabbed at the blanket, thoughtlessly thrown to my bed, and covered her.

"I love you Clare Diana Edwards. Welcome to Hotel Eli. This is your first innocent stay of many."

I gave her a quick kiss on the temple, and lay her head on the pillow. I slowly got up and turned off the light, taking one last look at the clean room, not fully empty of the memories made with Julia, but empty enough to make memories with Clare. I quietly crawled back into the bed next to Clare, holding her close enough to feel her warmth, but not close enough to make her feel uncomfortable when she woke.

"I love you too Eli James Goldsworthy." I kissed her neck softly, while saying good night, and she pressed herself closer to me.

(Ended?)

So, what do you think? It's not nearly as long as I wanted, but I really want to start on Who Are You tomorrow, and I can't have this on my mind while I write something 100% different. I'm sorry about spelling mistakes, it's two thirty a.m now and I don't have a spell checker on the program I use. I completely rewrote the VERY beginning and added things in. I didn't plan on Clare spending the night in Eli's room, honestly, I didn't even have them pictured in his room for this at all. Please be brutal, don't be afraid to tell me I should be shot for sucking at this. REVIEW!