A/N: Heyy. Twi-Twi-Twi-Twilight Parody Time.
And yes, some of the stuff in this I actually thought when reading/watching Twilight. :P
Location: Phoenix.
Bella: (Talking in sleep) Demon... baby... married... super-hot... Blood... (Wakes up) PALE DUDE!
Renee: Oh silly Bella. (Crazy Person laugh and eye twitch)
Bella: I... uh...
Renee: Get up, you're abandoning me, your loving, erratic, hare-brained mother, and moving to Forks.
AC: I mis-read erratic as erotic, I nearly died.
Renee: I don't remember having a second daughter.
AC: You didn't have another daughter, I'm just here because I'm here to wreck Bella's life FOREVER (Disappears)
Renee: ... Meh. Works for me.
----
Location: Airport
Charlie: (In head) Ugh. I enjoyed being alone, but now Renee sent our bastard child over. What's her name... Ella... Trella... McLella...
Bella: Hi Dad!
Charlie: Hi... Bella?
Bella: Yup.
Charlie: (In head) Score.
----
Location: Forks.
Bella: (Gets out of car and falls over) Ahh! The rain! It buuuurns.
Charlie: Get off the floor, you're embarrassing yourself.
Bella: (Walks inside house) I-- (Gasps) Dad, why is there an enormous shrine of my mom?
Charlie: Damnit, I was supposed to move that.
Bella: (Creeped out face)
Charlie: I mean... um... (Sad face) I never got over your mom.
----
Location: Forks High School (Let the games begin XD)
Bella: (Loudly) Oh, this is SMALLER and less GLAMOUROUS than my old school.
Eric: No need to brag, geez.
Bella: I'm Bella, and I'm not bragging.
Eric: (Falls for Bella) You're preeetty.
AC: (Fake cry) We've lost a brave fighter to the Bellotron.
Eric: (Robot voice) I am your slave, oh sweet Bella. (Drools)
Bella: Okaaaay.
----
Location: Cafeteria
AC: (Laying on a table, ignoring angry people) I'm guessing you have more minions?
Bella: Uh... yeah, it's creepy, Mike, the labrador, keeps asking me.
AC: (Angry face) AT LEAST YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO BE WITH SOMEONE ON VALENTINES DAY!
Bella: Sorry.
AC: I-- Speaking of Valentines... (Points to door to the Cullens)
Bella: Why-- (Dazzled) Ooh la la.
AC: And over to ho-ssica.
Jessica: (Looks away from mirror) Huh? Oh, they're the Cullens, good looking, weird, hot, Blah Blah Blah... (Looks at mirror)
AC: #If you keep talking that Blah blah blah blah blah#
Jessica: Shut up, I'm checking myself out... Oh hellooo good-lookin', fancy a date?
AC: Oh dear... We have a name for you type of people in my world, they're called SLAGS!
Jessica: (Happy face) Thank-you.
AC: That's a ba-- never mind.
Emmett: Uh, it's our spotlight time.
Angela: Right... get to your places, then... That's Emmett and Rosalie, they're together together... and, oh, that's Alice, who's reeeeally weird--
AC: How dare you, she is not weird! ALICE IS NOT WEIRD, DON'T JUDGE HER!
Angela: She's with Jasper, the one who looks like he's in pain--
AC: And Jasper is not in pain! He can't stand to be around hu-- you people.
Angela: And that's--
Jessica: Can I do this one, please.
Angela: Fine.
Jessica: That's Edward Cullen, the hottest guy you'll ever meet!
AC: Not exactly. Now, I am Team Edward, but she hasn't met Jacob Black. (Wolf whistles) Man he's hot!
----
Location: Biology
Mr Whats-his-face: Isabella Swan, you'll sit next to Cullen (Internal Sigh of adoration)
Edward: Oh dear god! Stop thinking me like that, Sir! (Shivers)
Mr Whats-his-face: ?
Bella: (Acts like a 5-year old) Hi, I'm Bella, will you be my friend?
Edward: (Glare of hunger/death which is somehow sexy)
Bella: Geez, a simple 'no' would have done, but obviously someone can't say it.
AC: (Walks into the room) Hey hey!
Mr Whats-his-face: You're not in this class.
AC: I'm here to ruin Bella's life.
Whole Class: Meh. Works for us.
Bella: WHY AM I HATED SO MUCH?
Edward: (In head) I vant to suck your blood... no, I don't, Blood is bad... humans are friends, not food...
The song is 'Blah Blah Blah' by Ke$ha feat. 3OH!3
I saw Valentines day today, and I see Jacob/Taylor Launter in a whole new light... HE'S TOTALLY GORGEOUS! Should I convert to Team Jacob, or be Team Werewire?
It's true, I did read 'Erratic' as 'Erotic' :L
x