Left Behind

By JessMerrick

A/N: This is my first ever SG-1 fic not focused on Sam. Well actually it is, but it's from Daniel's POV and I never write Daniel, so please be kind!

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I left someone behind today. What ever happened to our number one rule? The rule where nobody gets left behind?

I left them because they ordered me to. Apparently the commander's rule only applies to the team. If we're in trouble, they won't leave us. But if it's them, then it's fine to just go and leave them in the hands of the enemy.

I wanted to stay, to try and attempt to rescue them. But I was ordered to go. I'm not a soldier, I could have said no, could have protested. Should have said no, should have protested.

But I didn't. I couldn't. I obeyed this order because I knew it was the right thing to do. It didn't make it any easier, and it certainly doesn't make me feel any better crashed down on the ramp at the SGC, watching the Stargate shut down.

Today I am realising who I've become. I'm just like them, I do as I'm told. I may as well sign up for the Air Force because I'm close enough to a soldier already. And that scares me.

I have the option to disobey orders, or I should. But when it's my best friend giving them I have no choice. I follow them because I trust Sam Carter's judgement. I trust her, and I love her like a sister. I could never say no to her even if I wanted to.

I'm sitting here now, the Gate is shut down, and several doctors and nurses are all trying to get me to get on to the gurney in front of me. But I can't yet. I have to wait. Wait and see if she can save the day and herself too.

I look up at Jack, who is wearing a look of intense pain and sorrow, despite the fact that he is a soldier, her boss, and should not, and he nods slightly. We don't have to speak to communicate, we know. He turns to the medics and tells them to step back, to leave me be for a minute.

He joins me, and we watch the Gate, engaged in a staring contest. Minutes pass, and I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look in to his eyes and he's saying what I'm trying not to think.

She isn't coming back this time.