000 Authors Notes 000
Hello Readers
This is my first true written-story and fiction, but after 22 chapters and 170k+ words I'm gradually getting better at this writing thing. It may be a bit 'rough' at times (especially early chapters 1-4), but I hope you enjoy the story and that my writing continues to remain enjoyable as the story unfolds.
The story updates monthly (at minimum), usually near the start or end of the month. Each chapter takes a long time to write as it must be researched, balanced with real-world history, map locations, events, dates and more which is then boiled down to the key events to cover then fit into the over-all story narrative. Plus I have a full-time job.
Why do I make each chapter so difficult to write? Because you guys are worth the effort!
Whats the best way to motivate a fan fic writer to write? leave a review 8-) ! Please let me know how I'm doing - especially if you have requests for specific missions or events as the story outline is still open for ideas an changes. If I like what you suggest I'll give you a call out in the story.
Story and chapter status are on my profile page for info on next chapter and schedule
Now, on with the show!
000 Nightmares
The crack of rifles and pop of pistols at the firing range had become a familiar sound to her over the course of training. She smiled to herself as she tensioned, and then pulled the trigger of the large Le Enfield rifle; a moment later the watermelon at 1000 yards exploded. "Hit!" Human weapons might be primitive and crude but mastering their use, to hit targets, to maintain the weapon, to become one with it; that is something to be proud of.
The howling of the wind as it spilled through openings in the aircraft's thin skin drowning out the roar of the engines. Tumbling, falling towards the opening and the abyss beyond. A strong arm reaches out to grab her uniform at the last moment and yanks her back to safety her rescuer smiles at her "gotcha!" Safe for now, she'll never get used to these flying contraptions the humans use, always feeling like they are ready to fall apart.
Bar songs, men singing a song of debauchery with kegs of ale, singing along before the big battle, one last celebration of their life's and close bonds, almost family. The party ends and everyone goes their separate ways, some never to return. She misses them, always, her friends, her brothers in arms. Stars she misses them.
A nightclub, somewhere fancy where officers and civilians mix, upbeat swing music plays. Her eyes lock onto the objective moving through the crowd as she stands on stage singing a popular swing number. Soon the objective is completed, the target eliminated, and all obstructions are resolved. Disgust fills her as she wraps up the mission, every time she has to use her old servant training she feels dirty, but its worth it isn't it? To sneak in and be where she's least expected to complete the mission, isn't it?
Quiet as the drifting fog in the night, still and cold as the earth. The Le Enfield is held tight against her shoulder as she centers her target under the cross hairs. The rifle makes a loud CRACK! and a second later the colonial's head explodes causing the soldiers around him scattered for cover. Her companions confirms the kill and they retreat; she's surprised by how easy its become, killing humans in the name of world peace. What would they say back home? What has she become?
The whistling of shells and earth shaking blasts of 155mm artillery threaten swift death to any caught in the open. She is nigh invulnerable so long as her gem remains intact, she would just reform in a few hours ready to continue. A loud KRUMP! announces the impact of another shell, this one close enough to shake the foxhole. Peaking out the men on the other side of the camp are gone, only a smoking ruin and the stench of burned flesh fill the air.
His eyes are staring back into hers as the life behind them slowly drains away. His lips move but no words are heard as he silently pleads for her to say the word she could never say. The grip he holds on her shirt slackens, his body goes still and the eyes, she'll never forget those eyes, fall empty and lifeless. Overcome with grief she screams.
Roses face fills her world, commanding her attention, she can't look away no matter how much she wants to. All around her is sorrow and tears, broken pomisse, broken oaths, she has betrayed everything she ever fought for, everything she had stood for... and for what?. "Traitor, to your ideals!" shouts a voice from somewhere out in the void. "I'm sorry" she calls back, her voice raw and stark. "You broke your oath" the voice thunders, this time sounding more like Rose. "I had to!" she retorts but her confidence is an illusion. "You would kill those you swore to protect! you're a killer, murderer, butcher!" shouted Rose's voice filled with venom and hatred. "This was different, necessary! they would have destroyed themselves, we'd have lost everything" she sobbed as her stength left her and she collapsed to the cold floor. "Forgive me ROSE! please! forgive me! ROSE !"
Pearl woke with a scream, her breath coming fast and shallow as the adrenaline surged and she tried to regain control of her senses and mind. Soon she relaxed and lay back down.
It was rare that Pearl slept, the experience with Steven all those months ago had introduced her to the concept and now like Amethyst she would occasionally after particularly tiresome days . She would retreat to her room to lay in the cool pools of water and let the gentle sound of the water ease her worried and allow some rejuvenating rest. But these nightmares that had developed lately were getting worse, perhaps it was time to give up sleeping again. Sighing to herself, Pearl stood up and headed for the gem-door to start the day.
.
000 Present Day - Beach City - Buddwick Public Library
Spending a hot summer afternoon at the library with Connie had sounded like a great idea to Steven. After their first visit there and reading through the Buddwick journal Steven had become a regular sight as he read through histories of civilizations, fictions, and nations. Occasionally he would come across mentions of the Crystal Gem's or ancient Gem Constructs which wasn't all that surprising as their presence on earth spanned thousands of years. On this particular day Connie was reading up on US History and the events of the second world war while Steven read through his latest fiction book 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy.
"Wow" Steven said as he thumbed through the latest Tom Clancy novel 'Red Storm Rising' "This is super intense, Connie you've got to read this when you're done with that history book. This book has everything from great sea battles to desperate clashes of men and tanks and even …"
The head librarian looked up from her desk and loosed a loud 'sssssshhhh' and glowered at the two children. "Sorry" whispered Steven as he turned to look at Connie who was presently nose deep in her 'World War Two in photos' book.
"Connie?" asked Steven quietly when the young girl didn't reply right away. "Connie what did you find, if you get any closer to that book it will become part of your face."
After a few moments Connie slowly raised her eyes from the book, her eyes wide and mouth hung open as the look of shock on her face gradually softened when she saw the concerned look on Steven's was giving her.
"Steven, do you see what I see? I need to know if I'm imagining things. Look at the soldier in the back off to the left; doesn't he (she?) look familiar to you?". At this she turned the book to Steven so he could see the aforementioned black and white photograph in the book.
Taking the book form Connie, Steven read the title below it then examined the picture more closely. The photo depicted some allied soldiers standing on top of a burnt out bunker, all of them wearing filthy uniforms and looking exhausted but triumphant with a title that read "British SAS operations World War Two".
"You're going to have to point this out for me Connie, it's an interesting picture but what…..oh, oh wow, now I see it, is that who I think it is?" replied Steven as the implications of the figure in the photo became apparent. "That's Pearl isn't it! Whats Pearl doing in a photo in a history book of WW2!?"
The librarian must have heard them again as another "SSSSSSSHHHHHHH!" was heard from over by the front desk and a few other patrons glowered at the kids.
Taking the book back from Steven, Connie began to turn through other pages looking for other instances of Pearl in other photos. "Steven, has Pearl ever talked about this to you? I mean she's our mentor in fighting but I don't think she's ever mentioned it once."
"Not that I'm aware of; I mean, she sometimes just stays in her room for hours or goes out on her own for a day or two just to be alone. Garnet says she's just meditating or needs time to think and Amethyst just avoids the subject." replied Steven thoughtfully as reached for another book in Connie's study pile.
"Lets check through the other books and do some online searches; surely a Crystal Gem being involved in such a war would generate some news and more pictures" suggested Connie brightly now eager to investigate this new mystery, her homework project now forgotten.
The search online and the other books had produced only a few more photos of Pearl and some legends of famous spies that partly fit her description. Among the photos was one from North Africa where a shadowy figure resembling Pearl was seen in the background firing a rocket at an advancing German tank. Another photo was marked as being in the Pacific where another possible sighting of her working to repair a large bomber at a jungle airfield. The last and most chilling was clearly Pearl. It was a rare color photo depicting her cradling the shredded body of a young man, her uniform covered in blood with a look of agony on her face as other soldiers looked on around her. The photo caption described it as 'SAS Unknown Casualties Operation Loyton, 1944'. After that she seemed to disappear from the books, not even partial mentions towards the end of the history book.
It was dark and heading towards late evening when Connie's parents picked her up from the Library and Steven arrived back at home via Lion warp. The house was empty and a note was left letting him know that the others were off chasing corrupted gems up in Norway and dinner was in the refrigerator. That was fine with him, he had allot of thinking to do and the quiet would give him time to do a little more research to try and get some answers.
.
000 Beach House
It was 2am when the warp pad activated and the trio of Crystal Gems stepped off into the darkened house. Having been out searching for hours the group was dirty and exhausted from the fruitless search the group was short on temper and just looking for rest.
"I told you we should have gone east, we wouldn't have wasted so many hours wandering the forest and MAYBE might have found something" complained Amethyst loudly.
"Hush" whispered Pearl, "Steven's sleeping, why don't you two head into the temple to recover, I'm going to go make sure Steven is tucked in alright then follow after you."
"Sounds like a plan to me" said Garnet before turning and heading to the Gem Door while dragging a struggling Amethyst behind her.
Pearl sighed and headed over to the sleep loft where Steven was sleeping. Seeing he was surrounded by books and the TV was turned to the history channel she figured he must have been doing some kind of history lessons with Connie. Gently she picked up the young boy and placed him into bed then tucked in the covers around him. Sitting back she smiled warmly at her young charge and just watched him rest for a little while as she enjoyed the simple innocent slumber of the young boy watching his breaths, the twitch of his eyes as he dreamed.
After a few minutes it was time to clean up the study mess starting by turning off the TV and then turning her attention to the pile of books and papers. Reaching for the first book on top of the pile Pearl froze in place at the image on the open page as her mind went into overdrive.
An image of a young man covered in blood with lifeless eyes, Pearl herself clutching his body close as familiar faces looked on around her. A million memories of triumph, of anger, of fear, of hatred, and joy flashed through her thoughts as her mind went into shutdown in a failed effort to try and process it all. "Gugh" was all she manage to say as she tried to stand only to stumble and fall off the loft bed to land on the floor in a heap.
"Pearl? Are you ok?" asked Garnet as she emerged from the Gem Door and went to check on Pearl who by now had struggled to a sitting position on the couch.
Pearl looked up with a pained expression in her eyes…"He knows" was all she said and gestured to the books on Steven's bed for Garnet to see.
Carefully so as to not disturb the sleeping child Garnet looked over the top of the bed and frowned at what she saw, the implications of what it meant to her oldest of friends.
Stepping back down from the loft and helping Pearl to her feet Garnet spoke gently to try and calm down her old friend "It was bound to happen eventually, get some rest and we'll plan how to explain this to Steven when he wakes up in the morning" she instructed Pearl.
Pearl nodded meekly before slowly shuffling off to the Gem door and her room beyond.
...
Pearl lay in the center of the pool in her room and listened to the waterfalls around her letting the soothing sound of the flowing water wash over her and calm her nerves.
It had been nearly 80 years since the war had ended and Pearl made the transition back to her life as a Crystal Gem. Those years, so few by Gem standards, had left their mark on her sole and try as she might to bury the more painful of the memories they would sometimes surface as they had today. On days like this she would retreat into her room to just lay in the water and listen to the water as she was now or use the warps to go somewhere quiet to meditate. Usually this worked and she would be fine after a few hours but this time it wasn't working.
Steven knew.
It was probably Connie's doing; she had been studying American history these last few days and Steven had been studying along with her to fill in his knowledge of human history.
"Garnet is right" she sighed to herself, Steven was going to find out eventually, Pearl had just hoped that it wouldn't be so soon so she could have more time to prepare. Nothing for it now, if Steven brings it up, she'll just have to accept it and at long last confront her memories.
000
The next morning Steven woke up to the smell of waffles, eggs, bacon, and hash-browns permeating the beach house. Slowly opening his eyes he examined his sleeping area to find his loft bed area was all cleaned up; the DVDs and books from the night's study stacked neatly on the shelf.
Looking over to the kitchen Steven saw Pearl smiling and humming to herself as she looked up and smiled even bigger on seeing him awake. "Morning Steven! Breakfast is ready when you are, I hope you don't mind but I helped clean up and organize your study materials last-night."
"Thanks Pearl, breakfast sounds great and yeah, I got some questions for you later on when you're ready" replied Steven brightly as the smell of the delicious breakfast acting better than coffee to the young boy.
….
Later that day after Garnet had left via Warp Pad to check on more corrupted Gem activity and Amethyst went to get Donuts Steven set out on his own errand, to find Pearl and ask her about those old photos. After a brief search he found her up on the laundry arm busying herself with hanging out his clothes to dry, the star shirts flapping in the light breeze like flags.
"Pearl" he said hesitantly
"Yes Steven? Is there something I can help you with?" Asked Pearl with some trepidation, the unease she had felt the night before returning and threatening to overwhelm her with hurt and grief. Still she put on a brave smile for her young charge not wanting him to see her pain.
"Yeah, there is actually" replied Steven "You see, I was at the library yesterday with Connie studying American History when we found this old book of World War Two."
Pearls smile cracked as her eyes softened and a heavy burden seemed to settle itself on her shoulders, its weight pressing down on her as she sank to her knees.
"Pearl!? Pearl whats wrong? Did I say something wrong that hurt you!? Please tell me, I'm here for you Pearl, what did I say" cried Steven frantically on seeing the pain on Pearl's face.
In response she reached out and pulled Steven into a hug as she buried her face into his curly hair and spoke in a low pain filled voice as she fought back tears. "Steven, there is much you don't know about me and the history of Gem's on earth. Much of it isn't pretty and I have some darker memories and experiences that I've tried hard to forget. That time of my life was long ago by human standards but to Gems it may have been only a few minutes and those memories seem as fresh as they day they were made."
Steven hugged Pearl back tightly fighting back his own tears; he hadn't meant to cause this pain in his mentor but he was determined to help her recover from it and heal. Pulling away from the Gem he reached out his hands to help pull Pearl to her feet then lead her down the path to the temple as he continued to talk and try and reassure her.
"Pearl, I know what the history books Connie shared with me say, but I don't know what happened to you all those years ago in the war. Whatever it was must have been horrible as I've never seen you look so down and out like this before. I really don't know much about these kinds of things, but Dad says that sometimes the best cure is to just talk about it and share the story. You don't have to bear that pain alone, we're all here to help you, I'm here to help you and I'd really like to hear your story."
Pearl was hesitant, she was so afraid of Steven's innocence being corrupted as he was ignorant of the evil in this world. But she could also see the determination in his eyes that he would not be letting this topic go until he was satisfied that she was going to be okay, that she had healed.
"OK" she said at last, "Steven I'll take you up on your offer but I'm going to need you to ask your father as some of this could be a bit disturbing for someone your age."
Steven stopped walking and looked up at Pearl. "Pearl, you forget who you're talking to, I watch R movies with Dad sometimes, I'm 14, and have been on several Gem Missions that got pretty violent, I'm sure I can handle it" the young hybrid said confidently.
Pearl gazed down at the young boy and shrugged… well if he wants the dark so badly.. "OK then, I'll tell you the whole story, but you're going to have to let me know if it gets too much; it's enough that one of us has PTSD, we don't need another.
Nodding his understanding Steven took off at a run to talk with his father as Pearl made her away back to her room in the Temple. "That went better than I thought it would" she thought to herself "oh I hope this will work out, I don't want Steven's innocence to be lost but I can't keep this from him much longer anyway and perhaps, just maybe, talking will help."
.
000 The next weekend
Convincing Connie's parents to go along was easy enough, after all, an opportunity to speak with someone with direct knowledge on the history was a rare opportunity. Plus she could use it for her report to boost her grades, especially if she was able catch a mistake in the history books and earn extra points. The three were sitting on the beach house patio with Connie's laptop and a spread of Jam with Biscuits for the kids to munch on.
"OK children, Connie are you ready to take notes? Steven you too as you may as well learn something from all this too as we've lagged a bit on covering the human history side of your education".
Itching to get started Connie practically shouted her enthusiasm " YES! Yes! Mam! I've been looking forwards to this ever since Steven's phone call, you must have so many stories and adventures, and,, and .. Pearl? are you OK?"
Pearl's smile had vanished and in its place was the stern expression of full teacher mode. A moment passed before Pearl's gem-stone began to glow bright white and a large long object began to emerge. Grasping the object in her hands as the light faded revealing the intimidating form of a large rifle. It had a lot of dings and dents from hard use but was clearly taken care of and maintained as the metal gleamed like new with no rust or dirt.
Connie's and Steven's eyes went wide at the site of the imposing weapon "I recognize that gun," said Connie, "That's the gun you're holding in that photo of you in the history book on the burned out bunker!"
Pearl nodded confirmation as she spoke in quiet tones, "This is a Lee-Enfield No 4 Mk 1 sniper rifle of British origin, I wasn't allowed to use my Gem weapons during the war… more on that later kids …. so I learned how to use this to fight."
Steven leaned forwards to examine the rifles long stock and noticed a couple dozen notches in the wood, "What are all those notches along the side of the gun?" he asked.
Pearl looked even more depressed "Those are kills Steven, each notch represents an officer who I shot at long range and some soldiers too, for a time I kept track but gave up as the war went on."
Steven looked from the notches on the old weapon to Pearl and saw the same sadness in them from when they had spoken on the laundry arm. "So that's why you were afraid to tell me about the war, because you did what Rose had forbidden, engaged in human warfare and killed humans." Steven was quiet for a moment before continuing "But why did you join the war? Why did you go against Rose's order, why did...why do you keep the rifle?". Steven placed his hand on the old weapon and could almost feel the history and memories held within it.
"Because though this rifle holds many painful memories it is also a touchstone to my past and a reminder of what I fought for and the friends and bonds made during the war, not all the memories are bad ones Steven, even in war. But the point children is that as much as these are stories of adventure to you, to me it reminds me of real pain, of lost friends and the horrors of warfare, especially human warfare. Please keep that in mind."
Connie and Steven looked to each other for an nodded. "Ok Pearl, we understand," said Connie, "but you'll have to forgive us kids if we get swept up in the adventure side of things, I mean who doesn't get excited over an adventure story!"
Pearls smile returned in full "Wonderful! OK, now I understand you have lots of questions, especially as to why I chose to participate in the war and break Rose's orders… The answer to that is a long one and as I tell you'll find your answers as this story develops." Peal paused a moment, "Ok, so where should we begin? Connie, you're the one doing the history lesson, please give me a prompt to get started."
Connie didn't need to think before blurting out her answer "At the beginning of course! How did you even get involved at all! What was the beginning of your desire to fight in the war?
Pearl closed her eyes and thought for a moment before beginning the story…." It was Feb 4th 1938 and I was out visiting with the local town's folk owing to Rose who asked us to go and socialize more when Amethyst came and pulled me out of the local Soda Pop shop for a mission to Tibet…."
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000 end chapter 1 prologue
I must thank 'Mein Kapatin' for his help with research, moral support, encouragement, editing, and story ideas. Garouge-Faux who's fanfiction 'Pearl vs Life' has been an inspiration to me to launch my own fanfiction; he's a very active and capable write, go read his stuff! Reader VOX over at Tumblr account 'voxdrawstuff' who has made fan-art to bring life to the story. Fellow author MarquisObsurite for his help with chapter reviews (go read his story Lacrimosa) its quite good. And finally to everyone who has followed, reviewed, supported and generally made this fun to write.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story.
PS: Here is the first historical fact
* The Lee–Enfield bolt-action, magazine-fed, repeating rifle was the main firearm used by the military forces of the British Empire and Commonwealth during the first half of the 20th century. It was the British Army's standard rifle from its official adoption in 1895 until 1957.