Psychedelic
You would know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives.
/
Team 7, I had always thought, was akin to a rainbow.
I would like to believe that I saw a lot of rainbows in my lifetime, but to be completely honest with you, I have not. Most of the time I see a mix of red, green or black. Red coloured the all-consuming impact of evil; green a draining sickness; black the banality of life – a scarcity of achievement.
In some instances I am able to estimate the colours that will appear even before the time has come. Team 7 was such an instance. No matter how many times I stared them in the face or passed them by, they were always vibrant with colours. I had grown to accept that sometimes they weren't always the porcelain glowing of a spectrum; there would be times at which they faded, and they would then be hardly visible to me. But, regardless, the rainbow was still there.
Usually I wasn't that interested in people. I had drifted by humanity more times that you can count. You would never be able to imagine how many faces I passed, most which had their eyes closed, however all the same pleading, pleading for me to stop. It wavers my poise, sometimes, how humans hold onto life. Nonetheless my poise is always still held in the end, intensified, unconquerable and inevitable.
And to my disappointment, I was interested in Team 7. My job was far too busy to concentrate on one person alone, but, every time I passed them I spent a little more time longer. I took time to observe them, how they changed and how they had not. How the rainbow grown or how it had faltered.
Later in their journey when they indeed do become separated, it had frustrated me that the rainbow was no longer shining brightly. Despite this, I had to admit that it made these mere humans much more interesting. I could now see their true colours, so to say, and how each of their shades stood divided.
Undoubtedly it was much more stunning, to me at least, when they came together and intertwined with all of their hues. Maybe it was just the aesthetics; I had always felt much more at peace with pretty and simple colours. But I could not deny that primary and distinctive colours would always emerge with more intricacy.
Funnily enough, the first time I see Team 7, they are splashed with the colour of black.
/
Yes, don't mind me, saying 'splashed' was a specific choice, for they were not painted in black.
After all, they were many years away from dying, but the most of Team 7 had beforehand been splattered with the mortality of life. Haruno Sakura was the only exception; however, forget that for now – I'll get to that later.
Much of the people in Team 7 were new faces to me, apart from Hatake Kakashi. Though to me Kakashi was quite a young fellow, he knew me much more than the other humans did. Kakashi had never seen me personally, but I had passed by him more times that he could remember. I had quite a nasty habit of stealing his allies away from him, namely Minato Namikaze, Orochimaru and Uchiha Obito.
I was quite surprised to see a familiar Uchiha in the Team 7 group, being Uchiha Sasuke. Obito had been such a fighter and stubborn against me. Most of all, he had died with the thoughts of other people. It had always confused me why some humans, though quite rare, thought of someone other than themselves when they died. They were the people who were dying, for Christ's sake. Not other people.
Admittedly, it filled me with gentle despair.
I wondered if Sasuke would be the same – defying against me. He was merely a child then, though, so I knew I could not make many judgments. With my many run-ins with Kakashi, I had allocated the colours of green and grey towards him. Green was because he was indeed down-to-earth and very honest. He was supportive of others, and later in time, I would grow to know that he was the sustainable ground of Team 7.
If I wanted to think negatively, though, he would be green because even despite the fact he had indeed never known me personally; he had been through many sicknesses that stroked him with the very fingers of death. Though I had known Kakashi more than the rest of Team 7, he still remained to be much hidden to me. He was lightly shady, not in a snide and plotting way, but in a well-kept and calm manner. I'm sure that he was aware of my presence many times in the past, but he never acknowledged me.
He never even passed me a fleeting glance. He was too much engrossed with the people who had died. It didn't quite enrage me. It just confused me. A lot of things about humans wrecked curiosity within me.
The next person I absorbed was Uzumaki Naruto. Oh, did I know this boy all too well. He had death practically withering inside of him, but of course, that fox demon could never compete with me. Said fox demon had made me so busy beforehand, as I remember all too clearly. It made me smile sadistically of some kind, of how happy this boy could be, even when I was essentially living inside of him.
Despite of how he was oblivious to the doom he could bring, I knew what colours he would be the second I saw him with Team 7. He would simply be sparkled with the sentiments of yellow and orange, both which outlined the main emotion I did not know – happiness. I had little doubt that this would change, either. Naruto, I had judged to be as valiant, an individual.
And even when in due time I was to become alive (oh, the irony) in him, I knew he would still be raging against me.
Afterwards, I drifted my glance towards Haruno Sakura. I knew her the least, so I could not state which colours she would be. At the moment, she would just be black, until the future would prove different. Though I could not give her a colour, I could deduce a few things from her.
She was at a young age of twelve. They all were, excluding Kakashi. Sakura had lived quite a sheltered and safe past. (I concluded it had to be sheltered and safe as she had never seen me). And regardless of how shallow she seemed, she shined the brightest to me. Though I had never seen her before, she was such a glowing human. The smile that graced her lips and the light that trailed in her eyes left me... perhaps afraid.
I know that I have always deemed myself as unstoppable, but indeed, there is one thing there that can stop me. It is the will to live. And someone who shines this bright, I believe, one day have the will to live so strong that it doesn't just cover herself, but also everyone else – like a refractive shield of light that coiled against my threats.
Even though now Naruto had a silly infatuation with her, Sasuke barely realised her existence and Kakashi shook his head at her fairytale-like stance, I knew she would become the important tie of Team 7 that would bound them together. Out of everyone else, she would grow the most, as she started with no colour at all.
And I was always right. Well, most of the time.
Last but not least was Uchiha Sasuke. Even compared with the kyuubi and the copy ninja, Sasuke had brushed by me the most times. Kakashi might've lived for much longer, only thirty or so years, but Sasuke knew me personally. He had seen me staring right into his face and laughing like a ghoul. He knew me all too well, and he hated me.
I can't blame him, though. I might have justifications for my choices, but in no way am I fair, or kind.
Perhaps Sasuke didn't even know he shed hatred against me. The form I came into being was by Uchiha Itachi, his brother, and someone else that Sasuke wasn't aware of who also played part in the notorious Uchiha massacre.
Remember: it may be someone's choice to kill somebody else, but it will always be up to me if they die.
I take forms as many people. I live in their bodies as they make me survive with their thoughts of murder, murder and murder. Once they perform the act I am swept out of their body and I kneel down to the victim. I slip my hand onto, what is normally, their cold cheek and decide. In Sasuke's situation, he was bleeding and being knocked back by his own brother.
He was bleeding and bleeding so profusely. I remember how icy he felt, but how warm the tears were that cascaded down his pale skin. I remember how unlike the rest of the 99.9% of the world whom would've given up in his situation and let me take them, Sasuke fought. He became the 0.01%. He did not beat me, but he made me let him live. I remember that when I drifted away and whispered to myself that it wasn't his time yet, I saw his expression harden like a frozen rock. His eyes had become free of sadness but isolated into emptiness. I had noted to myself, at the time that he would never cry again. Not for a long time coming, at least.
Now, it might be unusual for me to aid wisdom in life as I am the one who ends it all, but please, listen for a second. Since that event Sasuke had stopped noticing the beauty of life. He had never looked at anything anymore. He had just looked through it. Everything to Sasuke was rotten and decaying. Even now, as I observe him with his new team, he is in his own desolated world.
Sasuke, to me, was nothing but an idiosyncratic blue. It wasn't as simple as his usual attire consisting of blue clothing. It was because even though he had separated himself with dissociation, he would always be strong. He would always have this innocence within him before the massacre happened. He would always have a heart, no matter how far you had to dig.
He was a clear, beautiful and crystalline blue.
I had well established Team 7 now. As the next gush of wind swept by me, I faded away.
I had other duties to do.
I always did.
/
The next time I passed by Team 7, it was on their first mission.
To be honest I never expected my next visit to be so soon, and especially, forced in the way it was. I had expected my next visit to be simply another observation, but it wasn't. I was going there to perform my duty. Indeed, I was, when I came upon the situation.
Sasuke was bleeding again.
He was lying unconscious on the cold, hard ground in between many icicles. The wielder of such ice was someone I knew well, being Haku. He was such a blinded boy, I always thought. Blinded by his protector Momochi Zabuza. Now, I never really despised humans, but I could say I didn't prefer emotional manipulators of which Zabuza was.
It didn't matter anyway. His doomsday clock was ticking down, and so was Haku's.
I was intelligent enough to deduce that Sasuke had taken the sharp spikes in his chest against his will. Sasuke, if anything, was a very talented and intuitive grasped boy. By his own choice he could avoid many incoming offensive attacks with his agility; but here he was, knocked down.
I sighed. Naruto was still such the idiot, yelling at the unconscious Sasuke. I perked my ears to listen to what Naruto had to exclaim at the inappropriate moment. He was asking Sasuke why he saved him.
At that moment, my heart stung. Yes, I have a heart. Many hearts. They are always incessantly beating, much faster than you can imagine. I have collected the hearts of others, that's why. I floated towards where Sasuke was situated. Naruto was at the moment fighting Haku, but they couldn't see me anyway. They were too subdued into their battle to notice Sasuke's life whispering away.
I wrapped my arms around Sasuke like a constricting snake, but someone pulled me away from him. I compressed my hold stronger until it was choking, but still, someone pulled me away from him. I heard the several murmurs telling me that it wasn't his time yet. I hadn't realised that I was no longer surrounded by the icicles, and neither was Sasuke. I was in an open area.
As I had not let Sasuke out of my deathly grasp yet, I felt a warm rush of heat upon me. A warm rush of comfort. A warm rush of saviour. The will to live. The chains of salvation wrapped around the lone Uchiha and it was then I knew I had lost... and I wasn't going to give up.
No! I felt myself screeching. Call me sadistic as you may, but I liked to do my job. I liked to end the pain of people's lives and spare their screams. Though Sasuke was not audibly screaming, I could well hear his struggles, and they echoed in my ears. I felt regret and disgust.
I threw my head up to look at who dared to break my job, and it was her. Haruno Sakura. I couldn't believe it. It was that weak, shallow girl with no colour taking him out of my arms. Her embrace was akin to a wool jumper wrapping around you during the coldest of winters, but with so much more potency and solace. Slowly, but surely, Sasuke was no longer looking at me now. He was passing me by.
I let go, grievingly. She had won. He was hers, now.
I could only go back to observing. She had laid her head across his chest, sobbing loudly. Unbeknownst to her, I had realised that her touch had a healing capability. Even with her sobbing that might've seemed obnoxious and her weight upon him that might've also seemed unnecessary, she was saving him. She was not saving him from the loss of blood or the pinning of spikes. She was saving him from me.
Not even five seconds later, he opened his eyes.
At that moment I decided that Sakura did have a colour. She had won against me, and very few people do that. Even less people save someone else from me. It was not her dying... I could not understand how her exploding emotions that now seemed like a trigger against my head could be so strong.
Sakura was the colour of white. I left this colour to a rare amount of people. I left this colour to the saviours. They often scar me the most – they make me give up and watch the survivors escape from me. If I was to be rude and childish, I would say she was my enemy. But fear not, I always keep my stance. I always keep my confidence. This would be the only time she would win against me.
I liked my jobs to be done quickly without any hassle. But no matter how much I liked them that way, I knew it wasn't going to be so with Haruno Sakura.
I seethed as her blistering colour of white nipped at my eyes, pushing me away. There was too much survival and life here for me. It was my time to go now. I had other things to do – picking up the hearts of Haku and Momochi Zabuza.
/
I had come to realise that Sasuke was the main object of incoming damage.
Every time I had returned to Team 7, he was always harmed. Whether it was because of his eagerness to defeat enemies or protectiveness he had grown to feel accorded to his teammates, I didn't know, and I didn't care. I knew every time I had been called for to Team 7, I would gather no hearts. Sasuke was just as much as a fighter as Uchiha Obito, I realised, and perhaps maybe even better.
There would also always be Sakura softening her teammates resolve and hunger for bloodlust. She still remained the brilliant white, and sometimes it made me angry how her presence would so much defy me, but on more times than I would like to admit, it touched my heart.
There was one instance that Sakura had become the object of harm, and it was when both Naruto and Sasuke were unconscious. I thought surely, that against three other enemies, she would be downed in three seconds, and I would be kneeling down beside her and carrying her heart. I was foolish to think such, though. Even despite the unbalanced fight, Sakura held strong with the will to live.
She got beaten and stabbed again and again. The blood that streaked out of her body was so intensified for me: I had alerted senses towards blood – it was how I located my victims. There were so many times that she was knocked down, but she would never scream, or shed a tear. She would just stand up again, pull on a weak smile, and continue.
At one moment one of the enemies had had her held by the hair. The enemy was a female, and of course, she took the side of verbal abuse. She was snickering at how ugly Sakura was and how pitiful her attempts to protect Sasuke and Naruto were. With every insult, every stab and every beating, Sakura's innocence was being tainted. Her colour was being blotched by black and red.
But Sakura was resilient.
With her intelligence, she took the simplest solution. She ignored the other girl's insults and cut her hair, releasing the hold of the enemy upon her. Usually, hair would be seen as so important towards females, especially since Sakura was still twelve. But I'm sure if Kakashi were here right now, he'd be smiling at Sakura finally releasing her fairytale-like stance.
She was becoming a heroine.
I knew that there was no place for me here now, but I could not stop watching. Sasuke came out of consciousness, a new swirling purple aura around him. His eyes were red, the Sharingan. He was smirking. His smirk looked so much like mine in given situations – sadistic, bloodthirsty and harsh. He clenched his fists with the new-found power.
I stared at Sasuke. I could not leave now, for I was living in him, as a curse. As the curse which would bring him to his downfall. For the first time in my life, I unwillingly took the form of a human.
He looked at Sakura's current battered and bludgeoned state. She was on her knees, her hair ripped, her eyes wide in fear – not from Sasuke, but for Sasuke. Usually, he would've said nothing and just protected her, but now a snarl ripped at his lips. "Who did that to you?"
She didn't reply amongst all of the shock. Sasuke looked evil. I didn't blame her. I felt just as sick.
The crystalline blue I had already grown adjusted to began to meld into red.
"Sakura," he said again, a menacing growl. "Who did that to you?"
A snicker erupted from behind him. Silently, I frowned. He had just begun his own doomsday clock, that boy, that enemy.
He was far too arrogant for his own good. "I did," the enemy replied in such a tone, as if he was proud of the beating he had given to Sakura. "She just smelt so good, her innocence, her blood!"
I knew all too well that at times nearing death; blood did smell so pure, so strong. But I didn't follow usual tradition – I knew that to Team 7, hurting Sakura was a sin. Harming something so gentle and vulnerable. Killing someone who only tried to save.
It didn't take long for Sasuke to react and fling towards the enemies. It took even less time, too, for him to pummel them into a state similar to that of Sakura's. I felt the poisonous power throbbing in his veins. I felt the surging supremacy consume the entirety of him, and being inside of him with the existence of murder, murder and murder, I began to shatter.
The enemies weren't staring at Sasuke when he ripped them apart. They were staring at me.
Sasuke, despite of what happened to him in the past, was never a killer. It might've been his hands you saw that pounded the enemies, but it was my skin that they felt. It was his voice that was audible but my smile that contaminated his expression.
And suddenly, once again, I felt Sasuke being pulled away from me. Sakura had run up and hugged Sasuke in such a grip that even compared to me, it was painfully clasping. She told him to stop amongst teary sobs. She told me to stop. She knew I was here.
She knew that this was not her Sasuke-kun.
This time, I was not defiant. I let him go easily and glided towards the victims. It was now up to Sasuke to separate himself from me entirely and regain himself. After seconds of the embrace, Sasuke had collapsed at the relinquishing of power and was instantly knocked into unconsciousness.
Before I left the horrid scene that had the grass painted with blood, I took one last glance, the hearts of the enemies in my hands. Sakura was stroking Sasuke's hair in a mother like-fashion. She may have looked completely and utterly wrecked then, I agree, but it didn't matter how many wounds she had. All that mattered was that when Sasuke woke up, he was coloured in blue.
I never wanted to see him stained with red again – but it was bound to happen.
I was always inevitable.
/
Be disappointed, if you may.
I am as well.
I am disappointed in a lot of things. And for once, it wasn't because a human escaped from my finishing grip. It was because I was leisurely killing someone who had so much potential. He had so many flying colours.
Though Uchiha Sasuke was not physically dead – he would not be for quite a while – he was growing to be emotionally vacant, and that was the worst kind. He used to be so blue, I remember, and don't mind me. I know that in many humans' opinions, I'm meant to be hostile, passionate, and most of all free of remorse. It was my job. I was meant to be shameless.
But it's hard to not be shameless, when I'm killing my own rainbow.
Sasuke's colours dimmed as the year went by. He began to be sealed with more thoughts of murder, revenge and replenishment in the most gruesome form. I grew, reluctantly, with this development; and I was able to see how he wanted his family to be renewed by blood on his hands. To him, this was the only option.
I started to think what happened to this logical, smart and justified driven boy. It's funny, sometimes, how you can't help to ask yourself what happened – even when you know what (or who) the answer is. You know what the answer is, because you can look in the mirror and get the answer in a simple second. Of course, I am not reflected by anything, but I can pretend that I'm alike humans. It often gets mundane how I can't understand human emotions.
Excuse me, I had forgotten. Admittedly I can be reflected by one thing in life. And it's usually in the eyes of my dying victims. So perhaps, when I eventually get to see myself in Sasuke's closing eyes, I will feel the ultimatum of torment (defeat, failure) wash over me as I deserve. It will begin like a curling storm, strike me hard as a flood and die out with a nostalgic recovery.
I try to avoid the scene in front of me but I am alive in Sasuke, burning and hissing as a flame. The flame's fingers, I notice, spit out like death's touch. They are reaching for Naruto. Yes, Naruto was Sasuke's teammate, Sasuke's best friend. Why are they fighting? I don't understand it any more than you do, but at all of the same time, I do entirely. I understand the limited level of the need for power, but I do not understand the depth of emotion underlining it.
I hear the deafening chirping, akin to sweet, innocent birds, but it is twisted, wicked lightning. In time, lightning would become Sasuke's essence. At the palm of Sasuke's hand an impossible light churns, and I realise that Naruto has mirrored this with his own technique. Naruto's technique is far more powerful and impacting as a blunt force, but Sasuke's is fuelled with more hatred and is chronic.
I smell Sakura's blood enter the scene as it is much more simple and saccharine than the rest. She is running, determined, unafraid. Unafraid that she is about to interfere with the clashing of two ultimate techniques: chidori and rasengan. Sasuke's chidori, I can sense, is slowly transforming into a mind of its own – an animalistic and hungry need to destroy.
Trust me; I know this feeling all too well. I am such an obliterator that when I conduct what Sasuke is doing now, all of my senses dim so that I can't feel the passion, the lust, the need. But with the sight of Sakura running with screams to stop, the fire within Sasuke falters: flinching backwards at the thought of hurting Sakura.
Hurting Sakura is a sin.
But the flame still heaves forward, its potency exhilarating. The triumph of authority overtakes Sasuke and he is unable to stop, even from harming Sakura. Naruto, I can tell, is trying so hard to pull back. He's such an amiable boy, that one. After months he still puts Sakura in utter importance.
I close my eyes as I feel these two great powers coming together. I cannot imagine what the collision of chidori and rasengan would do, but it would surely disintegrate Sakura as easily as cyanide would over a leaf. Though Sakura proves as quite an adversity towards me, I prefer not to overcome it yet. I do not want to feel her heavy heart in my hands.
And at once when the red sky above me spills into green, I know that I will not have to feel such a thing. Kakashi dives in at time. No matter how late he was, I found that he always came at the most opportune moment. He hurls out both Sasuke's and Naruto's defences, the power of the chidori and rasengan dispersing into thin air. The impossible light disappears, and everything is still again.
Naruto is left hunched onto the ground at the repelling, but Sasuke is well held and standing, though his head was facing down, hidden by his black bangs. Kakashi pushes Naruto away, telling him silently that he needs to take a break and calm down. He walks to Sakura next, patting her on the back and smiling at her act of putting her allies first, but her tearful emerald eyes are too concentrated on Sasuke to even notice. The sensei sighs. He knew his team was going to be difficult; they were filled with such diverse talents and goals.
He takes step by step slowly towards Sasuke. He knows that the boy is probably enraged beyond belief now. Sasuke only wanted to examine his strength, and now the opportunity was thwarted away from him. Well, Sasuke's ideology of examination. He is still composed; nonetheless, not even panting like Naruto was from the exhaust of energy.
"Sasuke," Kakashi speaks, quietly, cautiously. The last thing that he wants is an explosive response from the Uchiha. "What was that?"
Sasuke ignores his question. At this point of time, I would declare him as stubborn. I find it bizarre that he wants to keep to himself. Keeping to himself would only increase the intensification of my absorption of him.
Kakashi thinks for a moment, deciding. "We need to get that cursed seal off you."
Then, Sasuke turns towards Kakashi stealthily and glares at him. Oh, if looks could kill. Unfortunately, Sasuke's glances could never come into comparison with mine.
Sasuke scowls. "I don't need help," he growls, emphasising each word between gritted teeth.
I start to frown myself. You do need help, I start to think. You need help to stay away from me. But I know just as well as you do, that my thoughts are useless. It is his choice whether he wants the separation, and I would gladly give it to him. However, Sasuke didn't want to stay away from me, did he? He wanted the full package. He didn't just want his ghastly impression of the replenishing of his clan; he wanted everything that came with it. He wanted blood, he wanted desire, he wanted passion, he wanted fulfilment and he wanted revenge.
And for the first time, Kakashi stands on the same level that I do. We both see his upcoming downfall – his disease, and the sensei knows cannot cure it. For I am the poison, and he is the cure.
Kakashi just retreats back to the rest of Team 7. He could pretend and say that it was not in his hands to do anything for the situation, but he knows that he could. He is just filled with too much anguish at his own failure. He cannot save his own prodigy, the boy he had picked from the start to be a surrogate son, and maybe, Sasuke might've grown to feel the same way back. But now, he is watching that being shattered like glass in front of him. And even worse, he knows he cannot put it back together again. The glass pieces are frosted and sharp, they pierce his skin at any attempt to try.
Sasuke may be only gone for now, but gone for now seems a lot like gone for good.
/
The next time I see Team 7, it seems like a rendition of the event before, of some sorts.
But renditions were meant to be beautiful performances with interweaving of several instruments: cooperation, unity, affinity. I arrive at the scene as Naruto is bleeding abundantly, and it reminds me of how Sasuke had been five years ago at the Uchiha Massacre. I know who had done this to Naruto... and sadly, even now, I never want to admit it. I never wanted to admit that Sasuke was starting to follow the path of his own brother, whom, ironically, was the man he wanted to kill.
Itachi had killed his most loved ones, and I wondered if Sasuke was ever going to emulate that 'achievement.' A couple of months ago, if you had asked me that, I would've given you a firm no. But be shocked as you may, I am actually wrong.
Though anyone else in Naruto's condition would've been far by deceased, I knew that Naruto's superfluous regeneration rate at this stage had saved him from me. The rain was clattering down like hard rocks, and though the weather was probably not at all preferable to most people, I felt that it was quite appropriate for this moment.
I could sense Sasuke not too far away as he was in a similar condition to that of Naruto's: just not entirely unconscious. He was fading away slowly from me, hinting that his pace was barely dragging him along. Maybe he did feel portions of remorse, after all. Perhaps not all of his blue had been polluted into red and black. I noticed that a scratched forehead band had been left beside Naruto's side. Naruto had his forehead band still perched firmly on his own forehead, so I knew that this was Sasuke's – a saddening symbolism of his betrayal.
Soon Naruto would wake up when I would be gone, but I was sure that he would understand what had happened. Nothing to worry about, though, he was not alone. I couldn't help but to visit Sakura to see how she was coping with his defection from Konoha, only to find her unconscious as well. She was on a bench, laid so straight but gently on her back that I knew it had been done from Sasuke's hands. He must've knocked her out, I concluded. Such a harsh and abrupt cutting end to a bond.
Like death.
Nonetheless, I always had the ability, as mentioned before, to take the form of humans. It worked best when they were far by deceased or simply unconscious. I thought that this might've been the time. Perhaps it was invading her personal mind, but I couldn't help my curiosity. I placed my icy hands on either side of her face and closed my eyes. I could feel the hot stickiness of her cheeks that were caused by the streaking remnants of tears. Her face, though, as a whole was so, so warm.
I opened my eyes again. I couldn't help to realise how soft she looked, how gentle, how vulnerable. She was now in such a dream state, I knew. By the morning I would be long gone, not just because I had other things to do, but because I didn't want to see her expression when she woke up. Before I could begin my practises, her pale lips started moving.
"I love you, Sasuke-kun. So much."
My incessantly beating hearts all clenched when the tears re-appeared.
"Don't leave me. Please stay."
Now, I've always been one for honesty, and I felt like telling her that Sasuke had left. I was always used to breaking people. But I didn't want to break her.
Hurting Sakura was a sin.
Nonetheless, I couldn't take it anymore. I shut my eyes once again and began. Warps of her memories hit me like shimmering earthquakes, each impact so quick, so sharp. Even with someone as indomitable and heartless as I was meant to be, the agony that Sakura felt was easily empathised by me.
Usually, agony is used to describe an event of real catastrophe or tragedy. But when you think about Sakura… someone who really has had a past with not that much misfortune, it's difficult to imagine how hard she took this first loss.
I was only provided with fleeting incidents of the night that seemed to flicker by like photographs. They occurred in what I assumed to be chronological order: Sakura watching Sasuke walk towards her and then past her; her first teardrop; her anguished questions; his lack of response; his explanation of being 'too different' from them; her confession to loving him; the silence and ultimately, Sasuke's cryptic 'thank you' followed by knocking her out.
I understand that I might put it in a way that sounds bland, but I can assure you that even though I was not provided with the totality of this night, each moment that Sakura remembered appeared to be equally heartbreaking.
What Sakura didn't notice was how Sasuke's eyes creased in sadness at Sakura's confession. I rarely caught this expression from him, and as it skimmed by, I didn't have much time to analyse it. Nonetheless, I could gather that indisputably, Sakura wasn't just nothing to him. He almost seemed apologetic and guilty at Sakura's offerings of love… as if he didn't deserve it. I couldn't decide whether he did or not, really.
But what Sasuke didn't realise was that he wasn't at all that different from Team 7, and I believe he knew that as much as I did. He just had to put up some reason, no matter how fallible it may be, to break Sakura – because he knew whatever he said, she would accept as true.
If I had to choose, I would say that the moment when Sasuke turned around with that wretched and too cynical smirk on his face and rifted behind her was perhaps the most devastating of them all. Sasuke might have fooled Sakura with that expression of his, however he would never fool me. He appears to be the boy who wants revenge and nothing else, but you would have to be a fool to not have noticed that he wanted her, too. Selfishly. Unreservedly.
The last vision I saw until Sakura's memories floating to black was her murmuring her last 'Sasuke-kun' to him for years, and then her falling, falling and falling. She never hit the ground, though.
Sasuke would never had let her.
/
I had hoped that you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over.
Firstly, this story is dedicated to the lovely DeepPoeticGirl because she will understand this story more than anyone. It's so Sasuke-centric that I had to attempt to make it sort of Team 7-ish, but not to worry, there will be a lot more Sasuke/Sakura fluff and drama soon.
Secondly, though this was originally intended to be a one-shot, after having this story take me away and make me absolutely adore it to approximately 20 000+ words, it's going to be split into a two or three-shot.
Lastly, if you don't know who the narrator is yet, I'm keeping it a secret. ;) I enjoyed having this utterly different perspective.
The lyrics are references to the song Someone Like You by Adele.