Tobi's Fun

"Get your god damn mother f***ing ass over here" Hidan yelled.

"Not till you say please!" giggled Tobi in a sing-song voice

"I will string you up by your thumbs with barbed wire and cut you with a rusty cleaver until you are nothing but lumpy paint! " Hidan screamed with outright fury.

"So that's a no on the please then?" Tobi replied mockingly.

Hidan continued to chase Tobi throughout the hideout. Occasionally shouting curses like

"I'll feed you to Kisame!" or "I'll chop you into mulch and give you to Zetsu as a present!" Both resulted in a "Hey!" from their respective owners.

I believe there is an explanation in order. The swearing guy is a man known as Hidan. He is a mid-aged man with grey hair. He is a very religious man. Before you think about him with a bible and a halo above his head he worships Jashin, who is the god of death. And to show his loyalty to him, he regularly sacrifices people. Other than that he is a nice-ish person. The person he is trying to sacrifice is Tobi. A crazy, slightly disturbing person who wears an orange and black mask. They are both part of a crime group known as the Akatsuki. Now please enjoy the rest of the story.

Soon Tobi began to tire and slowed down his pace. Hidan saw this and increased his speed. Tobi tried hiding inside one of the many Akatsuki hideout rooms and closed the door. Hidan flashed a triumphant smile and yanked on the doorknob. He thought there was something wrong with the door. He yanked harder on the door handle. It was locked. Inside Hidan could hear Tobi's deranged laughter.

"Prepare to be sacrificed you little masked git!" screamed Hidan with fury.

"Tobi not heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!"

"Who just answered me then!"

"Ummm… Paul."

"Okay then Paul…. Are you ready to be sacrificed?"

"Tobi will ask!"

"Open the f***ing door or else!"

"Or else whaaaaaaaaaaaaat!"

"I'll…..I'll… damn it Tobi let me IN!"

"Still didn't say please!"

Hidan punched and hacked at the door but it stood firm. Hidan had a sneaking suspicion that this was Tobi's plan from the beginning. Hidan kept barraging the door with all his moves for hours upon hours, trying desperately to get in the room to wring the bastard's neck. Eventually all the sounds of Hidan cursing, Tobi's laughing and Sasori shouting at them to shut up lures Nagato out. He notes Hidan, Tobi's crazed laughing and comes to a conclusion. He lifts up his arms and sends Hidan spiralling away. Hidan gets up angrily and is about to impale Nagato but then notes who it is and thinks better of it. Nagato then turns to the door and goes to open it. Before he can do so, Tobi opens up the door and tries to make a run for it. Before he runs 1 metre [IDK how much feet that is, I'm Aussie] Hidan smacks him down and holds his neck with the handle of his scythe.

"Now what is the meaning of this commotion" says Nagato in a cool, silky voice that only Nagato can manage.

"This….. Thing" Hidan said gesturing at Tobi "ate my damn Snickers bar!"

Surprisingly enough Nagato didn't seem fazed by the comment. Instead he simply said "Tobi we have talked about this, you can't go around eating peoples chocolates."

"I REGRET NOTHING!" Tobi hollered at the top of his lungs. At this Hidan applied pressure to the scythe until Tobi began to choke.

"Tell me you're sorry and I'll stop." Hidan growled through clenched teeth.

"NEVER!" Tobi yelled as he squirmed out of Hidans grip.

"Why you" shrieked Hidan and proceeded to tackle and attempt to stab Tobi with his scythe.

Nagato looked on as Tobi again tried to run away and be thwarted by Hidan, yet again. Nagato quietly sighed and left the brawl.