Title: My One and Only
Summary: Have you ever been so close to having something, only to have it ripped from your grasp? Been close enough to have that first taste when it was suddenly so far you thought you'd lost sight of it? She will never have this chance. AU, Thaluke.
A/N: Here I go with lyrics again. This is an AU drabble that contains major Thaluke, and it was written to the repetitive playing of 'Small Bump' by Ed Sheeran, a song that I recently discovered, but absolutely adore. I recommend the song, but don't own the lyrics at the beginning and end of this Fic. Reviews are loved.
You were just a small bump, unborn
In four months, you're brought to life
You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your Mother's eyes
Fluttering kicks at 3 A.M. and the spontaneous need to use the restroom wake her up. She climbs out of bed, bare feet tapping lightly on the cold, hardwood floor.
He wakes up to the sound of the microwave beeping and gropes in the darkness, over the canvas sheets, seeking her warmth. Shaking fingers discover cold, ruffled sheets and he slowly finds his way into a sitting position and follows her footsteps out into the kitchen.
She stand near the counter, dipping a teabag into her steaming mug. He pauses at the end of the hall, and leans against the wall, watching her careful movements. She begins to lightly sing to herself, holding the mug up to her lips peering down and closing her eyes.
"What are doing up?" he asks, crossing his arms over his t-shirted chest. She jumps in surprise, yelping as the tea sloshes over the edge. She scurries to set the cup down and holds her hand to her heart.
"Jesus, Luke!" she gasps, looking up at him with wide, electric blue eyes, "Don't scare me like that!"
"Me? Scare you?" he says, jokingly, pushing off the wall and striding into the kitchen. He stands behind her, wrapping his arms around her torso and resting his chin on top of her messy, black hair. She sighs, comfortably settling into his arms and placing her hands on either side of her stomach.
"The baby keeps waking me up," she sighs. He kisses her temple and places his warm hands over hers.
"Five more months, and then I'll be able to take shifts waking up to get the baby," he says. She laughs lightly and leans her head back to look up at him.
"You better," she says, smiling lightly at him, as he stares down at her with a light smile.
"Of course," he replies, kissing her lips lightly before stepping back and releasing her. She picks up her mug, ignoring the small ring left on the counter, and follows the open floor plan of the home into the living room. He grabs a water bottle from the fridge and, as always, follows her into the next room.
She stands at the small window near the dining room table, overlooking the small playground built for apartment residents' children.
He takes a sip of his water bottle and sets in down on the table, before placing his hand on her upper arms, feeling the Goosebumps rise on her skin underneath his chilled fingers.
"Babe," he says quietly, "what are you thinking about so intensely?"
"Just life," she replies, gripping the sides of her warm mug tightly.
"Just life?" he asks, spinning her around to face him, "Or our life?" She glances down guiltily and he kneels in front of her, placing his large hands on either side of her small bump.
"I'm nervous," she says, voice shaking slightly. He glances up at her, before rubbing her belly lightly.
"What for?" he asks, tracing patterns on her stomach through the fabric of her shirt.
"Our baby, and how we're going to raise it," she sighs, biting her quivering bottom lip. He snaps his head up to look at her.
"We are not our parents, Thalia," he says quickly. He reaches for one of her hands and places it on her bump, before covering it with his own hand once more. "You see this? This is our baby. Our baby, who has no idea of how loved it is, or how much we have prepared for them."
Nodding, Thalia allows herself a moment of weakness and lets out a light cry. Luke stands back up and places his hands on either side of her face, lightly kissing away the tears on both cheeks.
He takes her by the hand, and leads her over to the couch. They sit on the couch gently and Thalia curls in Luke's side, resting her curled-up legs in his lap.
"Boy or girl?" she whispers, still clutching her mug in one hand.
"What do you want?" Luke asks. Thalia sighs, and shrugs with one shoulder.
"A little girl, I guess," she says, "Annabeth says she wants a little niece." Luke, laughing lightly at the antics of their younger friend, slips his arms around Thalia's waist.
"Then I want a little girl, too," he says. Thalia scoffs.
"You're lying!" she says, glancing at him over her shoulder. He mocks being offended.
"I am not! I want you to be happy. And what future dad hasn't dreamed about having a little princess to spoil?" Luke asks, leaning his chin against Thalia's temple. Thalia immediately thinks of her own father, but doesn't want to bring up that conversation and chooses to push it to the back of her mind.
"Well, what if I were to say I wanted a boy?" Thalia asks, with a small smirk. Luke chuckles, kissing her forehead lightly.
"I'll be happy either way, babe," Luke replies. He places his palm over Thalia's little bump once more and sighs contently.
"Did you feel that?" Thalia asks, clutching Luke's wrist with her free hand.
"Feel what?" Luke asks. Thalia moves Luke's hand over to the side of her stomach.
"The baby kicks every time you talk," Thalia whispers, in a shocked voice. She gives a mix between a laugh and cry, both out of joy.
"Really?" Luke says, nervously holding his hand to her stomach. Suddenly his eyes grow wide, and he laughs triumphantly.
"Did you feel it?" Thalia asks, placing her hand right next to Luke's.
"This is so incredible," he whispers. Thalia grins and turns to kiss Luke's cheek lightly.
"They like the sound your voice," Thalia whispers. Luke grins and leans down to kiss her stomach lightly.
"Five more months, baby," Luke says, still leaning down to her stomach, "And then I can hold you in my arms. I promise."
The baby kicks once more, Thalia and Luke's hands both in the perfect place to feel it.
"I think they're saying they can't wait," Thalia murmurs, so overly elated. The joy courses through her veins, and she gives a prayer of thanks to any God willingly to listen, that she was able to be a part of such a beautiful moment.
"Neither can I," Luke says, sitting up and cupping Thalia's face with one of his hands. He kisses her delicately on the lips, smiling as he does. Excitedly, he whispers against her lips, "I'm going to be a dad!"
Thalia laughs and pulls away to sneak in a long sip of her chilling tea.
"Whose hair do you think the baby will get?" she asks, warmth flooding into her fingertips as she presses them against the mug.
"I think yours," Luke says, just as Thalia continues her sentence with, "Yours, I hope."
They meet each other's eyes and both laugh. Thalia runs a hand through Luke's sandy, blonde tresses and nods to herself slightly.
"Your hair," she says, with finality.
"Then I hope they baby has your eyes," Luke says quickly, meeting her electric irises with his own cloudy blue.
"And your nose," Thalia says suddenly, giggling and poking the tip of Luke's nose.
"But your freckles!" He says quickly, lightly kissing the freckles spilled over her nose. Laughing, Thalia catches his lips with hers in a quick, but sweet kiss.
"And my ears," Thalia says. Luke tilts his head to the side, slightly, with a questioning look.
"Why yours?" he asks. She shrugs.
"Because mine are cuter," Thalia replies. Luke brushes strands of Thalia's barely shoulder length, sleep-ruffled hair behind her ear.
"They are," Luke agrees after a moment. He begins to leave small, fluttery kisses around her ear, before his lips trail down her jaw. Thalia closes her eyes, and leans back against Luke's chest. He allows her to snuggle into his arms once more before kissing her temple and settling into the couch.
"Either way," Thalia mutters sleepily, "Our kid is gonna be good looking."
"Obviously," Luke chuckles, "I mean, look at where they're getting their looks from!"
"If it's a girl, the boys will chase after her," Thalia says, grinning slightly. Luke's arms automatically tighten around her, slightly.
"I know where to get a gun," Luke replies. Thalia bursts out into short giggles.
"Well, if it's a boy, you better teach him how to treat girls," Thalia says. Luke nods along.
"Of course," he says. They settle into a comfortable silence, until another though perks up in Luke's mine, "Although, if the baby gets your genes, they might be a little short."
"Shut up, you jackass," Thalia mutters. Luke laughs out loud.
"And if they baby starts cursing at us when it's older, we'll know who's to blame," Luke continues. Thalia groans and shakes her head.
"And if the baby is a smartass, we'll know who's to blame for that too," she replies. Luke only smiles.
"What do you mean 'there might be a problem with the baby'?" Luke demands, placing his hands on Thalia's shaking shoulders. Three days after Luke first felt his baby kick, he now stands behind his wives' chair, not sure if he wants to cry or punch the doctor in the face.
"Well," Dr. Fletcher, a man about the same age as Thalia, says, "We believe that you may have miscarried in the past couple days."
"That isn't possible!" Thalia says quickly, trying to choke back a sob, "We just felt the baby kicking three nights ago!"
"I'm very sorry, Mrs. Castellan. Sometimes these things just happen, and there isn't anything we can do to help." Dr. Fletcher's eyebrows furrow, and his calm eyes are swimming with sympathy and guilt.
"And what are the chances of this happening…again?" Luke asks, "If Thalia were to become pregnant a second time?"
"After the first miscarriage, the chances of a second miscarriage increases according to the trimester the first miscarriage occurred in. Because the miscarriage occurred in the second trimester, the chances are much higher, but I do not want that to discourage you from attempting at pregnancy again," Dr. Fletcher sighs.
"Is there anything we can do?" Luke asks, as Thalia buries her faces in her hands.
"I'll have a nurse call up to the next floor, to see if we can get the fetus removed sometime today. After, you'll have to let Thalia rest for a little while. Wait four to six weeks before trying again, or until Thalia's menstruation cycle has become regular once more," Dr. Fletcher says, before adding, "And I'm truly sorry this happened."
"Thank you," Luke chokes out. Dr. Fletcher nods, and back out of the room, closing the door behind him. As soon as the door clicks shut, Luke rushes out from behind the chair and kneels in front of Thalia's knees.
"Babe?" he says quietly, resting his hands on Thalia's knees gingerly.
"Oh, Luke!" Thalia sobs, throwing herself into Luke's arms. He nearly falls back from the impact, but keeps a tight grip on Thalia and cradles her in his lap.
"Sh," he says, brushing her hair behind her ear, and letting his own tears fall lightly into her lap, "It'll be okay. We'll be okay."
Thalia wants to scream. She wants to yell and shout. She wants to tell Luke not to lie to her, but all she can feel is the numbness beginning to seep into her veins. It worms into her heart, and squeezes until it's too painful to bear,
Her chest feeling tight, and her once joyous bump seemingly empty, Thalia clutches Luke's shirt and tries to maintain herself. She doesn't cry. She doesn't break.
Why start now?
Through blurry eyes, she looks up at Luke, whose tears are streaming freely. Wiping them away with her thumb, she nods.
"We'll be alright."
Five months later, Thalia stands in the spare room, the fumes of paint that has been dry for days, still registering in her head.
One hand rests lightly on her small, protruding bump, as she gazes around the light-colored lavender room with awe. She turns around to look at Luke, who is standing in the doorway with a nervous grin.
"It's perfect!" Thalia says, nodding. "My daughter is not going to sleep in a pink room!"
"That's all you asked for," Luke said shrugging, "No pink, and you approved. It gave me a lot to work with."
"Do you think they sell Green Day onesies?" Thalia asks, the fabric of her own Green Day shirt stretched over her bump.
"I'm sure you or Annabeth will find one somehow," Luke replies, with an amused grin. Thalia sticks her tongue out at him and turns back to look at the empty room.
"Now all we need is the furniture!" Thalia says excitedly, "And when she's born, we can hang up some nice frames for pictures!"
"Well, I have a starting point," Luke says, pulling a small, square wrapped in lavender tissue paper out from the hallway and offering it to Thalia, who spins around with enthusiasm.
"You're so cheesy," Thalia says, snatching the wrapped frame from his hands.
"Just open it!" Luke says, hurriedly. Laughing at his exuberance, Thalia rips the paper off, exposing a small frame with the first sonogram of her pregnancy in the middle of a white background behind the glass. In light shades of pink and purple, the white background is covered in the word 'daughter' in multiple languages. Thalia lets out a short, 'aww' and smiles lightly.
"This only proves how cheesy you really are," Thalia grins, stepping forward and pecking his lips. Luke rolls his eyes and takes the frame from his hands.
"But you love it," he says, walking over to the nail he already put in the wall and hanging the frame on it gently. Stepping back, he admires his placement of the picture, right above where the changing table would be.
"Is this why you wanted to find out the gender this time around?" Thalia asks, stepping up behind Luke and wrapping her arms around his waist.
"Maybe," he says, grinning at her over his shoulder with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Laughing, she stands on her toes to press her lips to his.
Down the hall, in the bottom of a forgotten drawer, lay an unaddressed envelope that Thalia hasn't opened in four months.
She hasn't taken the sonogram picture to her first pregnancy out for some time, nor does she plan to. In fact, she has tried to push those pictures to the back of her mind, because she cannot bear the thought that she is betraying the child she lost by focusing on her new daughter.
Deep down, though, she thinks that the son or daughter who is long gone may be waiting for her to move on. May be wishing for her to raise her new daughter in their honor.
"Want to go over names again?" Luke asks, pulling Thalia out of her reverie. She shrugs.
"I guess," Thalia says, allowing Luke to lead her out of the nursery and into the hall, "My co-work suggested we name her 'Deuce'."
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable naming my daughter that," Luke said, cringing slightly.
"It wasn't my idea!" Thalia says, chuckling slightly. She moves her hand to rest on her stomach, feeling her baby girl turning and twisting, almost as if she was trying to protest to the name as well.
Thalia pauses walking, wincing slightly.
"She got a powerful kick, that's for sure," Thalia says. Luke rushes to kneel in front of Thalia and place his hand where Thalia's rests.
"I love it when she kicks," Luke murmurs.
"I know," Thalia whispers. Luke leans in closer to the small bump, smiling delightfully.
"Hi baby girl, Daddy's here! Can't wait to meet you!" Luke's smile makes Thalia's heart rush slightly, causing the baby to kick a little more, feeling her mother's increasing pulse.
"Five more months, and she is all yours," Thalia says, grinning. Luke shakes his head.
"I can share her with you," he says. Thalia laughs.
"She's gonna be a Daddy's girl. I can tell," Thalia responds. Luke smiles even brighter.
"Well," he says, lightly kissing the spot she last kicked, "I can only hope."
Cause you were just a small bump, unborn
For four months, then torn from life
Maybe you were needed up there but we're still unaware why