**Author's Note: Hey guys! This is definitely a "filler" story as I wait for the co-author of 'The Reckless Desire' to finish the 2nd chapter. This is definitely not my best work; it was written at around 3 a.m. when I couldn't sleep. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it anyway! Reviews are always appreciated!
I DO NOT own the Final Fantasy VII or any of its content or characters. This story is strictly fan-based.
Thunder rattled through the walls and windows when a stunned Tifa jolted from a haunting dream, or in her perspective, a nightmare. Tifa glared out of her bedroom window, squinting and shuddering with every flash of lightning.
'I'd better check on Marlene and Denzel' she thought to herself as she sneaked out of her bedroom to the kids' room. The door quietly creaked as she peeked and was relieved to see them both sleeping soundly. Tifa turned to face Cloud's room; the door was wide open and she came to realize that he was not home. With a sigh of both disappointment and worry, Tifa stepped downstairs to the bar area. ' Just a quick drink and then back to bed' she thought silently. Tifa grabbed a wine glass and poured herself a glass of oaky Cabernet Sauvignon; a gift from the crew from her birthday. She was saving it for a special occasion but decided she needed a good strong drink. With the wine glass clasped in her hand, she wandered to the front window of the bar.
" He should've been back by now."
"I hope he's okay." she thought
It was unlike Cloud to be out this late. Figuring that he'd stopped somewhere due to the severity of the storm, Tifa shrugged it off and went upstairs to her room. As she sat down on her bed, a picure of Cloud, the kids and herself caught her oeye. Picking it up, she smiled at the happiness exuding from most of the faces withing the pictures. All except Cloud, who in a solemn stare, hung his low; his head tilted away from the camera's view. Tifa smirked and coasted her fingers against Cloud's face in the photo.
''Will we ever be enough for you?'' she said to herself.
And with a sad heart, she laid herself down into bed and slowly drifted off to sleep..
Cloud sat in the small field of flowers in the Midgar church. With his head resting against a wooden pillar, he gazed up into the skylight; the night shining through the cracks. He silently watched the rain drops fall, allowing them to fall unto his pale skin. The rain falling to the flower petals, and as the lightning flashed, it seemed as though to crystallize them, in all of their reflective glory and beauty.
Turning his head down to his arm, the stigma was gone but his visions were no less compelling and unrelenting. Visions of Aerith slowly faded; assuring him that he'd been forgiven for his past sins. The forgiving was now up to him. He was relieve and yet something was missing; a void he just couldn't seem to remedy. Cloud reached behind him and pulled out a small brown booklet ,wrapped in the pink ribbon whuch had once enveloped is sickened arm.
Cloud had been keeping a journal, figuring that pouring his thoughts and feelings into it would bring him a sense of relief and in some ways I did.
Turning to a fresh page, he started his first line with
' Aerith, I'm still lost, empty, searching for my place in this world...'
As Cloud continued with his written confessions, an image of someone most dear and beloved to him painted over his thoughts.
"Tifa" he unknowingly said aloud to himself.
He grinned ever so lightly; thinking back at everything they'd been through together. His memories raced back to that night in Nibelheim, when he gave her his solemn promise to protect her; to be her savior.
"She was foolish to put her faith in me...How could she when I couldn't even protect you?" He said softly to himself.
Closing his eyes tightly, he leaned his head back onto the wooden pillar.
'I'm not strong enough...I'm not enough'
Cloud, lost in his past, dropped his pen and closed his journal; wrapping it in the pink ribbon, he placed the book down and gazed into the tempestuous storm above until he finally drifted off to sleep.
Ruby eyes met the morning sun. Tifa sat up and stretched her arms out.
'I'd better make the kids breakfast'
After showering and dressing herself, Tifa made her way to the hallway, passing the Marlene and Denzel's room only to see ruffled sheets and empty beds. She nodded her head
"Awake already." she smiled.
On her way downstairs she passed Cloud's room; the door still wide open.
'Hmph..he never came home." she siad with a solemn, concerned look.
This was not unusual for Cloud; returning for a night and then leaving for days at a time. And due to his delivery job, the time he spent with Tifa and the kids was sparse. Tifa simply sighed and proceeded downstairs to make breakfast for the kids.
Today was their day with Barett and Tifa would typically spend her day tending to the bar.
After breakfast, Tifa dropped the kids with Barett; who was delighted to see them.
Heading back to the bar she thought:
'Maybe I'll just walk today.'
As she walked along the streets of Midgar, Tifa's head was overflowing with thoughts;
'I wonder what he's doing.' she thought
Why was it so easy for him to abandon her and the kids whenever he saw fit?
Tifa felts a sudden rush of disappointment and hurt as she wandered through the street; reminiscing about her adventures with Cloud and the crew. Tifa sorted through all of the times she and Cloud had spend together and she calculated how many times she out his feelings before her own; if it meant putting Cloud's mind at ease, Tifa would gladly swallow her own pain, yet Cloud re-payed her with continuous abandonment. As all of the years flashed by Tifa's vision, she walked passed the Midgar church.
Tifa squinted slightly when she recognized Fenrir pared on the side of the church. She swallowed heavily and with a lump in her chest, she proceeded into the church; sun rays broke through the the threatening clouds and fell unto Tifa's raven hair and porcelain skin. Her eyes fixated on the glorious dawn after the storm. Tifa felt something saw something ahead of her; walking toward it, she leaned down and picked up a pen; confused, she looked around and saw Cloud resting in the back of the church. She inhaled a sigh of relief:
'Thank goodness he's safe' she thought and walked over to Cloud's sleeping figure. Her eyes taking in all of him, she noticed a small booklet in his hand. Her curiosity taking over her, she crouched down down to retrieve the book out of Cloud's grasp, gently, so as not to awaken him from his slumber.
Tifa noticed the thin pink ribbon enveloping the booklet. A lump in her throat became more apparent.
It belonged to her...to Aerith. And with a heavy hand, she opened the booklet, flipping through the pages:
"Aerith forgive me.."
"Aerith what can I do?
Aerith...
Aerith ..
Aerith...
Every page seemed to be focused on her.
'So this must be why he never comes home' Tifa thought; a frown consuming the expression on her face.'
'He's been here; in her church...as if...she were still there.'
Tifa's heart sank; She really didn't have a place in his heart after all. She had nothing to offer him in comparison to what Aerith could have. Tifa's mind blank and her chest heaving, she dropped the booklet and stormed out, one hand shielding her eyes in a futile attempt to prevent her tears from consuming her.
Cloud's eyes abruptly opened the sound of a book falling to the hardwood floor. Confused, he sat up and saw a familiar, raven-hared beauty, frantically rushing out of the church doors.
"Tifa?" he said aloud.
His eyes wandered to his journal; she'd read his entries.
"Tifa!" he exclaimed
Cloud scrambled to his feet; flower petals flying behind him. Following her to the door at the entrance, he saw no one. Cloud looked in each direction but saw no sign of here. Cloud began to run in the direction of the bar and stopped suddenly when something bright reflected in his eyes. Tifa's ring..
Cloud becoming frantic, ran into the bar.
"Tifa?"
"Tifa!"
His shouts remained unrelieved. Running upstairs to Tifa's bedroom, Cloud deliriously searched for her. Walking over to her bed, he was interuppted by small crackling sound beneath his boots, reaching to the floor, Cloud picked up an already cracked photograph of Tifa, Denzel, Marlene and he. Cloud's eyes focused on Tifa; there always seemed to be this light in her eyes, her smile bringing such a warm feeling; a feeling which had eluded him so swiftly.
"She is beautiful." Cloud said, unknowingly aloud.
Aerith's fave suddenly took over Cloud's vision. She seemed to nod and smile .
Coud's eyes widened as he finally pieced everything together.
It was Tifa...it was always meant to be her.
She was his missing piece.
Cloud smiled and immediately rose up, off of Tifa's bed
' I've got to find her' he thought.
Cloud ran over to Barett's house and furiously knocked on the door.
"What da hell Spike! You trying to wake these kids up?" Barett said, rubbing his eyes from fatigue
"Barett, Have you seen Tifa?; I need to speak with her." Cloud replied
"Nah man, she dropped the kids off this mornin' and headed out."
Cloud nodded and turned away, walking off
It seemed as though he'd been walking all afternoon. Tired and mentally exhausted, he decided to head over to the cliff's edge to do some thinking.
Tifa stood on the edge of the cliff; droplets of tears streaming down her pale face.
" His heart belongs to Aerith...I'm nothing. " Tifa said
"I can't save him, only you can." she stated, gazing up into the pale blue skies.
Slowly approaching the cliff's edge, Tifa turned her back and let her arms extend beside her.
"I need to let go..." she said softly to herself as her toes steadily walked along the very edges of the cliff.
"Tifa! No!" A familiar voice desperately called to her
The blonde SOLDIER pulled Tifa back onto the ledge and grasped her small frame tightly.
"What were you thinking?" Cloud shouted; Tifa's face cupped in his hands.
Both fell to the ground and Cloud reached over to stroke Tifa's hair
"Answer me Teef." he said sweetly.
Tifa could only gaze into Cloud's crystalline blue eyes and sobbed softly.
"You're stronger than this Teef..talk to me.." he begged
Tifa angrily tried to wrestle herself from Cloud
" Stop Teef, Stop.." He said whilst firmly grasping her shoulders.
"You don't need me here, so what's the thinking in pulling me back?" Tifa cried in between cries.
"You've gone with her..all of you!" Tifa shouted, referring to Aerith of course.
Cloud's face pained he said
" I need you here Teef."
Tifa's fighting finally gave way to Cloud's sweet voice.
Lost in his eyes she asked
"Why?"
Cloud began to sob at the expression on Tifa's face; He'd never seen her so lost, so frightened, so disconnected to who she was. Cloud began to sob quietly, his head resting on Tifa's, cradling her close to his chest.
"Tell me why." Tifa begged,
Cloud looked deep into Tifa's wine-colored eyes
" You're the only one who's kept me going, given me reason to keep living.." He replied
Cloud buried his face into Tifa's neck and began to slowly trace gently kisses up her neck and to her chin, as though the pattern had already been premeditated. Cloud paused and reached to Tifa's lips.
Trembling, Tifa confessed
" I love you Cloud, I don't know how much that measure up but I can't hold it in anymore."
Cloud leaned his head down to kiss his beloved.
" I love you more than anything." he said with the sweetest smile Tifa had ever seen.
" I love you more than everything. " she replied.
Smiling at each other Cloud said in a sweet voice, still stuffy from his sobs
"Let's go home."
Tifa nodded
As they returned to the bar, Cloud carried Tifa up the stairs and into her room, where they exchanged their love without words.
They were finally at home
at peace
in each other's arms