I Dare You
It was Monday night… 11 O Clock PM and RAW was over. The superstars had nothing to watch…
Everyone was just sitting there, relaxing and staring at the TV. "Up next on the New TNN… I Dare You! The new game show where contestants have the opportunity to dare anyone anything they want to! Hosted by… the WWE's…Shane McMahon!" The announcer announced. "Did they mean Shane McMahon as in Vince's son?" Stacy Keibler asked with a blank expression on her face. "No, Stace, they meant Shane McMahon as is Linda's son." Jeff Hardy replied sarcastically. "Oh!" Stacy cried. Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Leave the dumb broad alone." Dawn Marie said, sighing. "Hey… that was not a cool thing to say." RVD said to Stacy's defense. "And?" Dawn Marie asked. "And… you shouldn't have said it." RVD said. Dawn Marie rolled her eyes and continued filing her nails. Matt and Lita were making out on the couch. "They're disgusting." Trish Stratus said, making a face. "No they aren't." Stacy said. "Yeah they are. All they do is suck face." Jeff muttered, agreeing with Trish. "They're just expressing their love for one another." Stacy said, sighing dreamily. "Oh please." Jeff said. The room was silent for a few moments other than the sound of Matt and Lita's kissing. "Hey…Shane's Vince and Linda's son!" Stacy said out loud. "No…" Jeff said in another sarcastic tone. Stacy had a confused expression on her face. "Someone please help this chick." Trish said. "Speaking of Shane, let's watch his show." RVD said, turning the volume up on the TV. Just then, the Rock walked in. "The Great One has arrived." He announced, as he threw himself on the couch next to Dawn Marie. He winked at her. She rolled her eyes. "Matt, Lita, look." Trish said, sitting next RVD. Matt and Lita stopped making out and watched the show. There he was, yours truly, Shane McMahon, with a cheap blue suit on and a microphone in his hand. "Welcome to 'I Dare You'! The coolest new game show with the coolest new host… me! You all know the rules! Our first contestant…" "But I don't know the rules." Stacy said, pouting. Everyone ignored her. "…is the manager of WWE RAW… Eric Bischoff!" Shane announced happily. "Eric!?" Trish, Lita, and Dawn Marie cried in unison. "Eric!?" Stacy cried ten seconds later. "Last week, Eric Bischoff solved the puzzles, mastered the obstacles, and completed the challenges. Now… if he answers these five questions, he gets to dare people! Eric are ya ready?" "I'm ready." "Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?" Shane asked. "Easy!" Stacy shouted. "Over the river and through the woods!" She cried. "Stacy, that's to grandmother's house." Matt informed her. "Oh yeah… then you follow the yellow brick road!" She cried. "No… that's to get to Oz." Matt said. "Oh… well, then… at the end of every rainbow… you'll find Sesame Street!" "No, Stace – " "Just give up, Matt." Lita said. Matt shrugged. "Just ask Elmo!" Eric exclaimed. "Sure why not!" Shane shouted, flashing a cheesy smile. "Question number two… how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" Shane asked. "Six million, four thousand, seven hundred, sixty-two!" Trish cried. Everyone looked at her. "Please… don't ask." She said, blushing. Eric Bischoff thought for a second. "The world may never know!" He answered. Shane stared at him. "Correct!" He shouted. Eric smiled, satisfied with his progress. "Whoopie-dee number three! Eric… if you were to choke a Smurf… what color would it turn?" He asked. "Blue!" Stacy cried. "Stacy! Smurfs are originally blue!" Jeff yelled. "Like your hair?" Stacy asked in a confused tone. "No, not like my hair." Jeff said through gritted teeth. "But –" "Stacy just shut the hell up." Jeff said in an annoyed tone. He was partially offended by her comment on his hair. "Well Shane… since Smurfs are blue… they would turn a pinkish purple when you choke them!" Eric answered. "Yes, Eric!" Shane cried. "Who do you think he'll dare?" The Rock asked. "Probably Stephanie." RVD said. "Alright Eric… let's move on to number four! If you get olive oil by squeezing olives… how do you get… baby oil?" Shane asked. "By squeezing babies you moron." Stacy said in an exasperated tone. "Oh Lord…" Dawn Marie mumbled. "Well… you can easily get baby oil by buying a bottle of Johnson and Johnson!" Eric said. Shane smiled and nodded. "How is he winning by saying all the wrong answers?" Stacy whined. "Stacy, please!" Trish yelled. "Alright… Eric has one more question to answer… do you think he can do it?" Shane asked the audience. They cheered. "Okay… Eric… lucky number five. What is the hokey pokey… all about?" Shane asked. "Oh!" Stacy cried. "Even I don't know the answer to that one!" She said excitedly. "Dumb broad." Dawn Marie mumbled. "Dude." RVD said, again to Stacy's defense. "Well Shane… it's all about having fun!" Eric cried. Shane was silent. He stared at Eric before screaming, "CORRECT!" a whole bunch of balloons and confetti showered Eric Bischoff. Eric smiled and jumped up and down. "Now Eric who would you like to dare?" Shane asked. "Well since I am Eric Bischoff… I think I get to dare as many people as I want!" Eric said. Shane shrugged. "I want to dare… The Hardy Boys!" He cried. "Huh?" Matt asked, confused. "Along with their manager, Lita! I also want to dare Stacy Keibler! And Dawn Marie…and Trish Status… and… RVD!" He cried. "Oh shit." Lita said, frowning. "Ha! At least he ain't daring me." The Rock said. "And would my dare be complete without the Great One? I also want to dare… The Rock!" Eric said excitedly. The Rock's jaw dropped. RVD laughed. "What will you be daring these superstars?" Shane asked. "To spend a weekend in the Old Donovan Mansion!" Eric cried. Stacy screamed, Dawn Marie gasped, Trish groaned, and Lita sighed. "Dude…not cool…" RVD said, shaking his head.