"I swear Abby, it's never felt so good to be done with a make up exam." Lily Evans said to her best friend Abbygale Chase as they collapsed onto a couch in the Gryffindor common room.
"I know…. Tell me again, why is it that you put off retaking the exam until a week before graduation?" Abby asked.
"James has been helping me study for it, ever since end of year exams finished, but I've always been lousy at Transfiguration. What can I say… I suck." She said with a laugh.
"Jesus Christ, here he comes. It's like he got a fucking sixth sense. Like he knows when you start talking about James… or thinking about him, because every time you do he comes walking up. And that means that I have to go, because I don't feel like fighting with a douche bag today…. I have Sirius for that." Lily sighed deeply, as she saw him approaching them.
"That's a nice way to talk about your boyfriend, Ab. But go if you must. I know you don't like him." I don't either, she added to herself.
"Hey, Baby," he said as he sat down next to her, putting his arm around her. "You didn't come tell me you were finished." He added squeezing a little.
"That would be because I just finished. Duh. And maybe because I wanted to be able to spend a little time with my sister." She winced as he squeezed harder. "I have to go to the bathroom." She wanted to get away, and it was the first thing that popped into her head.
"Uh huh. Right. You always have to go to the bathroom. Besides, I wanted to fool around." Always the gentleman, she thought, trying not to roll her eyes.
"Well, I want to go to the bathroom, so please excuse me."
"Whatever."
"Don't do this. Do. Not. Do. This. Jason. Don't be pissed off at me just because I don't feel like fucking you. I'm so not in the mood to deal with that right now."
"I thought I told you not to use that kind of language. For Merlin's sake, Lillian. Act like a lady." He kissed, eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Whatever, I don't have time for this, so I'm only gonna say this once. I'm. Not. A. Lady. And. I. Will. Never. Be. One." She snapped at him.
"You will be once you marry me." He loved throwing that in her face.
"Well, who says I'm still marrying you?" she replied turning away from him.
"Your mom told me that she very much wishes for you to." He whispered in her ear.
************BREAK************
"So than, what exactly are you saying?" Abby asked, very confused.
"Okay, Abby, I'm going to tell you something, and this something that I'm going to tell you can never leave this room. Not unless I say that it can. Do you understand me? It is very important, and it's also very important that nobody finds out that I told you this, okay?"
"Lily… I really don't like the sound of that. What going on?"
"I can't tell you unless you promise me that you wont tell anyone, unless I tell you to. Please Abby. Just promise me."
"Okay. I promise."
Lily took a deep breath and began, "I didn't say yes to Jason because I wanted to. I don't love him, and he for damn sure doesn't love me. The only reason that I'm marrying him is to help my mom and dad. The whole 'marriage for the sake of my parents' thing really sucks, but I will do what I have to in order to protect them. I know he doesn't love me, because when you love someone you don't make them choose between you and the lives of their parents." She started to cry. "I don't want my parents to die if there's anything in my power that I can do to stop it. The small amount of suffering that I'm going through, is worth it if it keeps them alive."
"Lily, why didn't you tell us about this? We would have tried to get you of this mess. You can't go with him and marry him just because he threatens you."
"I'm doing this to keep my family safe. My parents, and my sister are the most important thing to me. I would do anything for them. All of them. Just as I would do anything for any of you guys."
"Honey, I know that you would do absolutely anything in your power to help other people, but you can't do this all by yourself. So what, is Sheridan a death eater or something? Or are his parents the ones that did this to you and your family?"
"No, he's not a death eater. His father's one though. I found out about a month ago, but I didn't say anything about it because I didn't want you guys to get hurt. I knew that if he knew, that you knew, than you wouldn't be safe."
"Sweetie, you have to tell everyone. And you have to tell Dumbledore. You have to trust me on this, Dumbledore will make sure your family is safe and will keep Jason away from you."
"Alright, we'll go right after lunch."
"Okay, come on, love. Let's get you something to eat." Abby said, leading her out to the common room, and down to the great hall.
************BREAK************
How could she do that to him, he fiancé? He had specifically told her that she was to sit with him and his mates at every meal, everyday. Yet there she was, sitting with him and his mates, whoring herself out to them as they filled her head with Merlin knows what nonsense. James Potter was trying to steal his fiancé away from him. Of course maybe she should let her choose Potter, then she would end up sleeping with him, he would dump her, and then she would come crawling back to him. Yes, it was the perfect plan, but maybe he should run it by his mates and see what they thought. They may be total idiots, but they did know a plan that would fail when they saw one. But it was just such and easy plan. He wouldn't even have to do anything. He'd just have to plan out his words carefully. If he knew Lily, and he did, then he would know exactly what to say to her when the time came. Now it was time to put his plane into action. She was his and she would pay for what she had done. She would willingly be his by graduation.
Meanwhile….
"Okay… okay, okay, okay, okay." Lily said while, like the rest of them, she tried to come down from her fit of laughter. "So then he goes, so then he goes 'what the hell's so damn funny?'" she finished while sending them all into another fit of laughter.
"Do you guys remember the time that McGonagall turned Sirius's hair purple?" James asked.
Flashback…"Mr. Black, would you kindly tell me what I just told the class?" McGonagall asked, fuming slightly.
"Um… Do I have to?" He replied with a nervous smile.
"Just pay attention please."
"Yes Ma'am."
"Thank-you. Now as I was saying…"McGonagall started again.
"You're starting again, mate." Sirius said.
"Mr. Black." McGonagall snapped sharply.
"What?" he cried indignantly.
"Mr. Black, I swear to you if you don't start paying attention right now I will-" But her shrieking was cut off by Lily, and Abby.
"Oh. My. Go." They said in unison through their silent laughter.
"What now?" He asked looking at her.
"Well, I never thought I would say this to you but, look in the mirror, Black. Here, you can borrow mine." Lily said as she grabbed her compact out of her bag, and brought it to him, in the back row. He took the mirror and let out a scream worthy of a thirteen year old girl.
"My hair! My beautiful hair is PURPLE!" He roared. "This is your fault Evans!"
"Honey, trust me. I didn't do that. I've always thought pink to be more your color." She said, being rewarded with laughter.
"well then. It's your fault Prongs. Stop staring at her, and we wont have this problem ever again. Now how do I get rid of it?"
"Ask McGonagall to reverse it, or go ask Madam Pomfery to help you, stupid."
"Right."
End Flashback…"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up carrot top. It went away and I was perfect again.""Yeah, whatever you say."
"Your sarcasm hurts me. It really does."
"Lily, can I talk to you for a minute. Alone" Jason asked, walking up behind her.
"Sure," Abby made a move to protest, but Lily shook her head softly. The idea was to ask normal; to appear as though no one knew anything he didn't want them to know about him.
They were hardly in the empty classroom before he was yelling at her.
"What in the hell are you doing with him and his mates. And that slut 'sister' of yours. They're always trying to fill your head with shit that will not help you out later in life."
"I was just having lunch with my friends. And Abby's not a tramp! Why can't I see them?"
"You're my fiancé. MINE! Not Potter's! I don't think that Daddy would appreciate your treatment of me right now."
"STOP IT! Just stop! I'm marrying you, what more do you want? I'm only with you to protect my family from whatever it is that you want to do to them. I'm doing what you want."
"Yes you are. And That means that you are my fiancé. My wife in practice, if not yet by law, so you will honor me. You will honor me that way a wife is required to honor her husband. And if you want those no good friends, and that filthy family of yours, to stay alive than I suggest you pull yourself together and do what your told. I don't want you around Potter anymore. If I see you with him… well… use you imagination."
"That's not fair!" She shouted back. "I want to be able to see my friends while I can."
CRACK!
"Don't talk back to me you ungrateful little bitch. You need to learn to respect people that are better than you." He hit her again… and again… and again, but she never once let him see the fear that she felt, that showed in her eyes, whenever he was near her. He had expected her to start screaming and pleading before he even touched her.
He had only planned on hitting her the first time, but then he spoke those words and hit her again. And then something in him just snapped, something compelled him forward and hitting her wasn't enough anymore. Kicking help him feel better at first as well, but soon even that to was not enough. Something inside him told him that it would never be enough. He could never hurt her enough, but he had to stop, he had to. Lunch would be over soon and he had to get to the great hall and inform his friends so that they could cover for him. And he could pin it on Potter and his friends, it was his word against theirs. It was really quit simple, all he had to do was play the role of the angry boyfriend.
He turned to leave, but when her breathing pattern slowed dramatically he knew he had to fix her, to some extent at least. If she was truly hurt; if she couldn't say that it wasn't him than he would become the prime suspect. She wouldn't tell that it was him though, of that he was certain. After all, what girl wants to tell the world that she was being beaten by the one person that the world thought loved her? Who would want to admit that they stayed with someone that hit them?
He waved his wand over her, healing only her fatal injuries, leaving the rest for her to deal with herself. He then sent a Patronus to Potter, so that he and his friends could deal with her. He also sent one to his friends and left to meet them.
************BREAK************
"What the hell happened to her?" Sirius yelled when they found her. She cringed away from him, farther into the corner she had crawled into. Abby Smacked him upside the head.
"What the hell's the matter with you? She's scared enough your help!" She scolded him, with a glare. She slowly made her way forward with her hands up, palm out. "What happened?" She asked. Lily just shook her head. "Baby girl, who did this to you?"
"Some group of Slytherins. They've been threatening me for a couple of days." Lily said, with more venom than even the most loyal Gryffindor. Abby didn't understand and opened her mouth to say something. Lily cut her off. "I'll Talk to Dumbledore about it tomorrow. It's just some bruises anyway. I'm too tired right now. Just take me to Pomfery so that she can fix me and then we can go back to class."
"Alright then. Can you walk or not?"
"I think I can walk if I have some HELP!" She cried as James scooped her into his arms. "What are you doing? I said I could walk, and I can."
"No it's fine. You're hurt, and, no offence, you don't way enough anyway. It's not going to kill you to except help from me, you know."
She leaned into him, resting her head on his chest, and gripping his shirt tightly in her hand regardless of the fact that she was completely terrified of him. Mostly it was to hide as best as she could from Sirius, who was scary when he wasn't screaming like a lunatic.
The trip to the hospital wing was completely silent and felt as though it took forever.
"Go get Pomfery, Ab." James said, Laying her on one of the beds. Lily refused to let go if him, and when he tried to pry her hands off of him she gripped tighter.
"No," She whispered. "Don't let go…"
"Alright. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here the whole time."
"Umm…" Sirius looked at her apologetically. "I don't think she's going to let you stay. There's a lot of damage that needs to be fixed,.. a lot of damage that can't be seen right now… if you know what I mean." Sirius said, as Abby walked back to them, Madam Pomfery in toe.
"Everyone out! She needs healing and rest! Out!" Pomfery barked.
"NO!" Lily shouted, and James made to leave. "I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay with me; he said that he would.
"Miss Chase can stay with you, Miss Evans. Now how did you get these injuries?"
"I don't want Abby to stay… well, she can, but I want James to stay. And Slytherins attacked me. Please just heal me so that I can go back to class. I don't need to stay here I just need my stuff fixed."
"Very well, Miss Evans. Mr. Potter can stay. The rest of you, however, need to leave." She said, pushing them out the door and into the corridor to wait. She walked back to the three of them. "Now, who did this to you?"
"It was a group of Slytherins, but I'm not sure who. I didn't see there faces, and they didn't say anything so I couldn't tell you which ones they were. They did it because I'm engaged to Jason Sheridan. They think that I'm polluting a pure-blood name and family. If one of us dumps the other than I'll be safe from them." Abby understood that Jason was the one that hurt Lily, and that for some reason Lily was covering up for him. This was a problem. Why wouldn't she turn him in?
"Well, if you don't know who did it than you can't very well turn them in. I think you need to report this to the Headmaster, even if it's just so that he can be aware that the situation took place." Pomfery said as she healed the last of Lily's wounds. "That's all I can do for you, dear. I'd prefer if you stayed here for the night, just so that I can keep an eye on you, but you don't listen to me anyway. Therefore you may leave anytime you're ready."
"James," Abby said. "Why don't you go to the common room with the others? I need to talk to Lily about something. We'll be right behind you."
"Yeah, just be careful," He said, walking out the door to tell the others that everything was fine.
"Alright Evans, spill. I know that you're just covering for Jason. I know that James doesn't believe you either. Lily you have to report this."
"I'll talk to Dumbledore about it all tomorrow."
"Lily-"
"Tomorrow."
************BREAK************
Lily hated Binn's class more than any other, simply because it was so boring. She was one of the few that could actually stay awake on a daily basis because she tried to write something down in her notes to remember. But it usually ended with her frustrated and throwing something. But today she was even more distracted than usual.
She knew she had to tell Dumbledore, and she knew she had to do it now. She knew that Binn would never notice if she left. She tested her theory, and when he gave no sign that he was her stand up, she walked out the door. She walked swiftly to Dumbledore's office. The gargoyle looked at her expectantly.
"I'm sorry. I don't know the password. But I must speak to Professor Dumbledore. Please, it's very important." She said.
It didn't look convinced.
"Please, if I don't see him now p- pe- p-… people might get hurt." She whispered, struggling to maintain her composure. " My family might get hurt, and I could never live with myself if I knew something, and I didn't tell Dumbledore about it when I had the chance."
"Miss Evans," She spun around to find Professor Dumbledore standing patiently behind her, hands clasped gently in front of him. "Please, come into my office. It seems that there is much that you wish to discuss with me."
She followed him passed the gargoyle and up the winding staircase, thinking at first that it was rather odd that the gargoyle hadn't questioned him in anyway. Though it did occur to her that Dumbledore was not an easy man to impersonate. The constant twinkle in his eye, perhaps, was the hardest part to fake. One had to be a genuinely good person to have that.
"Now, Miss Evans. Please tell me what it is that plagues your mind." She sat down, and she told him everything. She told him of her forced engagement to a man that she didn't love, of her fear for her family. Dumbledore sat perfectly still, absorbing everything in silence.
"I don't want the whole world to know." She said. "I just want to keep him away from me, but still ensure everyone's safety.
"Miss Evans… Lily. Professor McGonagall and I will speak with him. He will leave you alone. As for your family, I will do everything in my power to ensure that they remain safe."
"Thank- you Headmaster. I don't want to press charges, or cause any more trouble, I just want my family safe. I just want to move on with my life."
"Of Course, Lily. Now it's late. I must contact Professor McGonagall, and it's time for you to be in bed. Off you go."
"Goodnight, Professor."
************BREAK************
She dropped her quill on the table with a frustrated sigh, and angrily threw her Transfiguration book across the common room.
"Evans, you need to relax. Come on, come take a walk with me."
"I can't, I have to finish this stupid essay. It's after curfew anyway."
"We're heads. We don't have a curfew. Besides you need to live a little."
"I live enough thanks."
"Lily," He sighed, sitting on the table in front of her. "You always say that I live in the moment too much. That I have no thoughts toward the future, but contrary to what you may believe, I think about the future a lot. And what I know is that life is short. What's the point of living if you're not really going to live? I think that you don't live in the moment enough. Do something fun for once… not what everyone is expecting you to do. Just live."
"Alright," He took her hand and led her outside to the grounds.
"Why do I get the feeling that there's something you want to tell me, but probably wont?" He asked some time later, when they had reached the lake. She immediately broke down into tears, and told him everything that was happening. She looked up, and saw that his eyes were shut so tightly that it looked painful. She gently cupped his face in her hands and pulled him closer.
"James, look at me," She said, so quietly she barely heard herself. He opened his eyes slowly to find her emerald orbs just centimeters away. "I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen good. I'm fine now. You saved me, all of you did, but especially you James. No one has ever cared about me the way that you do. I've never cared about anyone the way that I care for you, James, and I have cared about you for a long time." She didn't know what else to say to him so she did the first thing that popped into her head, closing the gap between them. James relaxed; his body blissfully numb. She ran her tongue across his lip asking for entrance, which he happily granted.
A raven crowed in the distance, bringing Lily back to senses, and she quickly pulled away.
"I'm sorry!" she said. "I'm sorry James, I shouldn't have done that." She said as though she hoped these words would erase everything that had just happened. She immediately felt guilty for pulling away from him.
"Yeah, you're always sorry." He said, and kept walking. Lily followed in silence, waiting for the outburst that was bound to come.
"What do you mean, 'what do I want from you,' James? I don't want anything. Not from anyone."
"I mean, why can't you ever make any sense? You say one thing, mean another, and do something completely different! How in the hell am I supposed to be your friend if I don't know what the fuck you mean?"
"I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I have something that I don't want, and I need something that I can't have. I'm so confused and I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore! I'm sick of Jason, but there's nothing I can do." She said sitting on a rock, that jutted over the lake like a diving board. "I don't want to be with him, and I talked to Dumbledore, but I'm afraid! James, I am so scared. If he ever finds out that I told you he'll me. And then he'll kill you to."
"Lily, calm down! Dumbledore will help you. You know what to do about Jason. The girl I knew used to be fearless-"
"Well, now it's different!" She cried. "I didn't have something to be afraid of, or fear for, when I was eleven. Now I do. It's different when it's my life on the line. I'm not afraid of my own death. I know that it could happen at anytime. I made peace with that fact a long time ago. I'm learning to deal with Jason, and maybe he's right. Maybe no one can love me." She finished in a whisper, staring at the glass like surface of the lake.
"I have to tell you," He said, ignoring her comment about her death. "That you have to be mad, and I mean completely bonkers, to believe that. I love you, Lily."
"Seems like you're the only one. Not even my best friend could care about me that much. I was just too blind to see what was really happening. I couldn't see that we were just pretending to be friends, that we knew what we were fighting for, and that we could still be friends after this was all over. You always knew though. You knew that a Slytherin would never be any good for a mudblood."
"Lily, him being a Slytherin was never the problem. I have loved you from the moment I saw you, and you picked him over me. I wasn't used to being over looked, least of all by a girl. You stood up to him against me, and then later you did the same for others who didn't deserve it. I envied you. No one else could ever go through life as you for even a day, and handle it the way that you do. People say bad things to, and about muggle-borns a lot, but instead of running off to your room to have a break down, you fought back. I thought that if I could show you that I was better than him, then you would like me not him. We know how that one went."
"You know, I remember the last fight I had with him." She said thinking back. "All I really remember is that he was mad. I mean really, really mad. I was trying to get him to listen to me. I way trying to make him understand that I wanted to be his friend, but if he kept going with his other 'friends' and the things that they did the Mary, I couldn't do it. You do know what they did to Mary, right?" She asked.
"Some dark magic, and then tried to rape her." He said. Lily flinched at his bluntness towards the subject, though she did appreciate the fact that he didn't try to make it sound better than it was, like some other people would.
"Yeah, he said they were just having fun… 'a laugh, you know' I'm all for fun and laughter, especially now that it's so rare, but still. What bugs me most about his uncaring nature towards the whole thing and his… 'not me, not my problem attitude… was the fact that Mary's a pure-blood. It makes me wonder, If he let them do that to her. What would he let them do to me, in his quest to become one of them? Whenever I tried to say something to him about it, he would always turn it around on you guys because ' if I hate what he does then I have to hate what you do to.' I always said that no I didn't like you, but that didn't mean that I was going to run around telling people that Remus is a werewolf." His face paled, but he pretended not to have any clue what she was talking about. "I've known about it for a long time. I figured it out about a week before my twelfth birthday. He talked to me about it when we were fifteen, Abby knows to. We don't care. If we did, we wouldn't still be caught anywhere near you guys." She laughed then. " You still look like you're waiting for me to run away screaming to anyone who would listen to me. I care about him to much to do that. Anyway, I may have mentioned that I knew about you saving his life. Than he said that he wasn't going to 'let' me do anything with you."
James laughed at that. "And here I thought that everyone with a brain- any sort of brain at all- knew not to tell you what to do."
"Apparently not. He knew me before I came here. What am I supposed to do? I'm little more than dirt to him, so I stopped trying a long time ago. It just wasn't worth it in the end. I realized that I was never worth it. After he called me… what he called me, I finally realized that it was time to stop pretending, time to stop fighting something that I knew I could never beat."
"I'm sorry about that, too." He said, scratching his neck in discomfort. "It was really my fault that happened. If Padfoot and I had just left him alone then he wouldn't have said that."
"Yeas, he would have. Not then, but it would have happened. Eventually it would have slipped out, and we would still be where we are today."
"Why were you crying? That day on the train."
"My sister."
" What did she do to you?"
"She called me a freak. And she said that I didn't and never would deserve to be part of the family. According to her, I am the mistake that should have never happened. She always told me that I was the one thing that my parent regretted. They were so proud of me when I got my letter, and she couldn't take that. She was jealous that I was special. She struggled to stay afloat in school, and I won the national science fair when I was six. I beat kids that are our age now, back then."
"You can't control your sister, or what she says and does. You can't blame yourself for her attitude either. C'mon, it's late. We both need some sleep."
They began to walk as they talked, and soon found themselves through the portrait hole and laying on his bead staring at the ceiling. As it got later, Lily found herself nodding off for minutes at a time. James laughed as he realized this to.
"Go to sleep, Lily. I'll still be here in the morning."
"Kay," She slurred. He waited a moment.
"I love you, lily." He whispered.
"I love you too, James."
************BREAK************
Breakfast was going well the next morning, until Lily caught sight of her parents on the cover of the daily prophet. She looked around her. Jason was nowhere to be found.
"Lily, what wrong?" Abby still hadn't seen it yet.
"You unimaginable bastard." She muttered to herself. "I did everything you wanted me to do, and you killed them anyway."
"Lily, you're starting to scare me." Abby said.
"How? How did you find out that I told? I've been through enough. I don't need this."
"I'm going to go get James. Just stay right here." She said, before running out of the hall.
"You think that you needed to do more to me? Taking away my family and friends wasn't enough? Trying to beat me into submission wasn't enough?"
Abby led James into the great hall in time to see Lily start pacing, scraping her hands through her hair.
"Too much," She muttered. "This is just too much… I've lost too much…" She looked up at him. Seeing his eyes, so full of sadness- sadness that was for her- was too much. She couldn't stand to be around all these people. Couldn't stand to sit through all the looks of pity, and remorse. And she certainly couldn't sit through the jeers from the Slytherins, about how she should be grateful that her family was even considered good enough to kill in the first place. She did the only thing she could think of. She ran. She passed James without so much as looking at him.
"Lily," He shouted after her, but she kept going.
************BREAK************
They were looking for her now. She knew they were. After all she did run out, but what did they expect? James' father had just walked in and arrested her… Fiancé… captor… for the murder of her parents.
Graduation was tomorrow. They wouldn't see it… her… her friends… her world. They would never get to see any of it. Then of course there was Petunia, who was probably already sending her letter about how all of this was Lily's fault. How if she had never been born than nothing bad would have ever happened to their family. Petunia never did understand. Lily had sheltered her from more than she could ever imagine. She had kept the war from her parents until they had demanded to know what was causing her so much stress and anxiety all the time.
She had made them promise her that they wouldn't say anything to Petunia about any of it. She didn't want her to have to know about it. She wasn't going to let her blame her for this. She did everything she could for them.
They were searching outside now. She could hear Sirius barking around in the darkening grounds. He wouldn't find her. James would. Even without that map of his, he always seemed to know where she was. He knew everything she would do, before she did it. Just like her mother. The mother that she would never see again.
She started to think about her mum… and her dad. She thought about how proud they always were of her, who she was… what she was. If they could see me now, she thought, they wouldn't be very proud. I can't even stand up for what I believe in. I can't stand up against what I know is wrong. Other people have to do it for me.
She did it for her family of course, but deep down inside her heart she always knew how all of this would end. She had only been kidding herself.
She was truly a coward, no matter what anyone tried to tell her. She was a coward and she needed to keep James away from her. She wouldn't allow herself to hurt him.
From her spot on the astronomy tower roof, she looked up at the sky. It was a "Hogwarts" sky, as everyone called it. It was the kind that you could only see at the school. The sky itself was darker, the starts were brighter. It was as though, the magic of the school couldn't be contained with in the castle walls and had reached up into the sky, making that much better.
"It's beautiful." Lily jumped and looked to find James climbing onto the roof beside her.
"Yes it is." She said before resuming her watch.
"You know, I've been to over fifty countries in my life. Not one of them has a sky like this."
She didn't answer him this time. In fact, she made no move to indicate that she heard him at all.
"Alright, so I didn't come up here to make small talk with you about the sky. I came to check on you."
"I'm fine." She said, in a clipped tone.
"Lily-"
"I don't want to talk about it.""
"You never want to talk about anything. But you have to, if you keep it all inside it's gonna eat you alive."
"No, I said I don't want to."
"Please, Lily. Please let me in.""
"I CAN'T!" She shouted.
"Why not?"
"Because if I let you in than that will mean that I'll have to admit that I love you, and if I do that than that will just be one more thing that they can use against the both of us!" She was breathing very hard now. James was in shock.
"You love me?" She wouldn't look at him. "Lily," He waited until her eyes met his. "Do. You. Love. Me?"
"Yes," She whispered. "but it doesn't matter. I won't let them do that. I won't let them use that… me, against you."
"They've always been able to use you against me, because I've always loved you. They don't matter. Nothing else does right now, because you love me. That's all I've ever wanted."
************BREAK************
"Congratulations class of 1978." Dumbledore said, from his position on the stage"
"As most of you know, I was informed, last night, of the death of my parents. And last night I was more than willing to never leave my room again, and live for the rest of my life in this castle, sitting on my bed. When I woke up this morning I realized that my parents would be appalled at that display. Why would they want me to blame myself for their death? Why would they want me to make myself totally miserable, when I could be celebrating their life instead? I also had another epiphany last night, and this epiphany is the inspiration for my song today."
James swore that when Lily sang it could bring even Voldemort to tears, it was that good.
"It's the last night on earth before the great divide
My hands are shaking time was never on our side
And there's no such thing as a beautiful good-bye
As an ordinary day I prayed for you a thousand times
And it's never enough
No matter how many times I try to tell you this is love
If tomorrow never comes I want you to know right now that I
I'm gonna love you until the day I die
And if tomorrow falls asleep can you hold me first
"Cause I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on earth
A penny for your thoughts
A picture so it lasts
Let's knock down the walls of immortality
Your fingers on my skin only you can hear my fears only you can help me heal
I see forever with you here
It's never enough
No matter how many miles stand between us this is love
If tomorrow never comes I want you to know right now that I
I'm gonna love you until the day I die
And if tomorrow falls asleep can you hold me first
"Cause I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on earth
It's never enough
It's never enough
It's never enough
Ooohh
The after glow
The horizon line
The shadows fall
Will you still be mine?
Will you still be mine?
Will you still be mine I ask?
If tomorrow never comes I want you to know right now that I
I'm gonna love you until the day I die
And if tomorrow falls asleep can you hold me first
"Cause I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on earth
If tomorrow never comes I want you to know right now that I I'm gonna love you until the day I die And if tomorrow falls asleep can you hold me first 'Cause I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on earth"James had saved her, not only from Jason; but also from herself. She would never be able to thank him enough for that, and she could never love him more.