Unforgive, Unforget

She'll never forget these pains.

A familiar caress of long, dagger-sharp twin fangs gnawing the heated and delicate skin of her neck. Those daggers she's accepted for perhaps the third time had lacerated inside her with the imperative desire to procure Yuuki Cross's blood. Faint, bereft gulps and sighs emitted from Zero Kiryu's lucidly pale lips that had, by the seconds, quaffed the pane offered to him; what was once akin to her now sustained the creature within him that only she could pacify. The only sound crawling slowly from her throat to her lips was an abrupt, if not frightened, gasp when her vampiric partner had furiously seized her wrists, which turned them- and her face- a delightful shade of crimson. Crimson blood. It gushed in rivers into the gullet of the forever apologizing Zero. She knew he needed this, and he saw it as a selfish act of pity from her.

Another pain was not so familiar- one haunting, and retelling unforgetfully in her head: the vigilance of her pureblood paramour, unabsent of every move she made, and impetuous enough to allow her to almost taste her own blood. The slits unzipping from the most tender flesh, warming in streaming rosy liquid, the identical hue adorning his amorous, yet sensual eyes.

Yes, it occurred in the light of the unintentional, at the point to where innocent little Yuuki Cross was serving her heart for the crime of injustice.

"Either you give yourself to me," she recalled of the lavender pureblood, masked by an innocent student, "Or-" the most intriguing or- "give me the corpse of Kaname Kuran."

Yuuki plunged her head deeper into the pillow and bed sheets covering her body, biting her lip and wincing, hopeful soundless enough to not disturb her somnolent friend Yori. This had just resurfaced itself from the depths of Yuuki's mind; it was just the same night as she had given and received more wounds than she had in one.

~:o:~

The dance was tonight and there was no time to waste.

Embellished in a stunning ruby dress with diagonal roses and a periwinkle overcoat, Yori stepped next to me with handfuls of her dress to ease her walking, and asked me, "Yuuki, are you ready?"

Turning to her in alarm, shifting my hand from my collarbone to my hair, I nodded and replied, "But of course I have to tend to my security duties of point-blanking the students' behavior, even if I don't get a chance to dance tonight." I stared into the mirror again, this time feeling a certain vein in my neck bulge and pulsate painfully; it was directly next to the bite marks he'd recently given me. . .

"Yuuki, you okay?" Yori asked, concerned in the eyes. "What's wrong with your neck?"

"Oh, um. . ." I touched the blanched gauze I'd hastily tied what came loose around my neck before she entered, "Prefect duty got a little rough today, and I ended up letting a tree branch scrape my neck after chasing a student away from the Night Class! Ha ha!" My mask of humor was enough to deceive my gullible best friend. "A fresh Band-Aid and this gauze sure make it invisible, huh?" Again with my fake humor. It was unintentional, but it worked like a charm every time.

"This is for you, Yuuki." Yori handed me a rectangular cardboard box glistened in wrapping paper. "I found it at the doorstep."

I lifted the flap of the card hanging from it. "Oh, this is. . .from Kaname-sama?" Opening the box, I took the gift in both hands and hauled it in front of me. A cloudy pink dress with a garnet rose hanging near the neck line! I beamed inside and out. He was such a sweet man. Instead of degrading myself for causing my class to be dressed in uniform, I could silently gloat on wearing a dress given to me by a very special person.

As Yori proceeded to the dance hall, I surveyed myself, asking myself one final time if this was what I wanted. I thought hard, but maybe not hard enough, on the decisions Maria- or whoever she really was- gave me. She enhanced my decision as she gave me a worthy anti-vampire weapon: a dagger. It was underneath the skirts of my gown, tied on my thigh by a fuchsia ribbon.

"If you do wish to kill Kaname, then you should take this," said Maria to me. "It's an anti-vampire dagger. It will easily kill even the strongest pureblood. All you must do. . .is strike it through his heart."

My unsure lakes of tears and my countless prayers have been enough to sustain my choice, one worth killing myself after. I was set now. . .

The guilty grunts surging to my heart. . .I know they'll never go away as long as I live. I've decided to give Maria Kaname's corpse. Only I'm capable of doing so; she had a point when she explained to me that his guard lowers when in my presence and that he'd easily count me as the sheep within the pack of wolves.

Students showered themselves in delicacy; in pairs they jogged into the ballroom with much more current merriment than I. But I knew I'd inherit it if I summoned up the courage to ask Kaname to dance. That's a request he shouldn't discard.

As apathetic as he was, I was surprised to find Zero of all people occupying the marble-walled entrance, and the Headmaster alongside him beaming at my approach.

"Good evening Zero, Headmaster," I greeted, grinning, my hand absent-mindedly tugging onto my prefect bangle.

"Oh, Yuuki!" my adoptive father exclaimed, hurdling over and tightly twirl-hugging me. "You look sooo adorable this evening!"

"Mm, thank you," I muttered, my speech balked, my flattery masked by my discomfort. "Please put me down." I smiled despite my father's disappointment.

"Save a dance for me, okay, Yuuki?" he asked, expectantly giddy.

"Um, sure," I reluctantly considered. 'But only a quick one. . .'

Proceeding further into the entrance only delayed itself again as a hand was positioned over my shoulder. I suspected it was Zero, who remained mute, but I only half-turned enough to recognize the hand. "Ze- Oh, K-Kaname-sama?"

Celestial lambency harmonized the slender man and chanted to my fluctuating heart. Milky ensemble taunted my desires to stroke the velvet material. The magenta pinwheel shrub drowsed inside his vest pocket and burnished within pale effulgence. He stepped between me and Zero, hindering him from my view, and curtsied to me. "My, Yuuki, you look lovely today."

Color fondled the apples of my cheeks, my lips gleaming; I gushed in a jumpy voice, "Thanks! I'm happy to see you here, Kaname-sama!"

Kaname grinned, lifting his head a little to greet my eyes. "Oh, you are? In that case. . ." He took my hand, raising it to his lips and gently brushed them on it, making my blush darken in surprise, "Meet me at the balcony shortly. I would like for the two of us to dance together."

My fingers shakily lowered themselves to the hand Kaname had kissed, and I nodded sincerely. "Okay. I'll see you inside!"

Watching him enter, he quickly disappeared in the luminescent ballroom. Immediately following his arrival, Day Class girls shrieked and squealed dreamily as he passed them, all mobbing out of my sight toward him. I fumed at this; these girls were practically throwing themselves on Kaname! But as I peeked inside, Kaname seemed to pacify the girls, explaining something to them all at the same time, something that the girls sadly "Awww" 'd at, resuming to their previous dance procedures.

I finally turned to Zero, whose eyes were off somewhere else, as usual, and I subconsciously asked him, "Are you alright, Zero?"

Only half-turning towards me, he eyeballed his feet and answered tonelessly, "Yeah. I'm fine."

Warily, I considered his answer honset as he fully attended to my gaze. "Okay, if you say so." I was grinning at him this time. "C'mon, we can cover our prefect duties and have fun at the same time!"

Waving my two eyes around the room, the behavior of both Day and Night Classes was content. "Everything looks great! No one seems to be losing their senses around here." I looked over my shoulder to Zero, who'd been standing closely behind but had his eyes wandering aimlessly. I was tempted to ask his condition again, but that question was too daft.

"Zero, you can tell me anything," I edified, gathering his attention. A verge of tension formed over his lavender irises, and I timidly waved off my shudders. "If there's something wrong, I'll understand if you explain it to me." He seemed to have been fresh out of words at the moment. "Is it. . .about that woman?"

The woman that killed Zero's family, to be precise. I hoped that would light up a conversation, one that I could listen to to get inside of Zero's heart. But Zero shook his head and answered, "No, it's not that." He finally met my eyes, though.

I felt stupid. Now, I've probably reopened old wounds Zero's trying to fling off his shoulders. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up."

Zero only shrugged and answered, "It's no big deal," letting his fingers play with his tie.

I grinned oddly, tugging at the end of Zero's tie to drag him closer to me. I kept my hand there and took my other near the tie's knot and pulled at each in opposite directions, having now straightened his lazily-knotted tie. Then I unhooked the rose from near the sleeve of my dress and tucked it inside Zero's vest pocket. "Your tie looks better now, and the guys should wear a single rose in their pockets." I smiled, stepped back a little, and observed him like the masterpiece he'd almost come to be. "Now, you'd look even more handsome if you smiled, Zero."

He glanced at the rose in his pocket, then at me. "I don't understand," Zero muttered. "How is it that you can keep on smiling? Even. . .if there is nothing to smile at?"

I didn't hesitate to answer, "It's because, I want you to smile too, Zero." With that, I walked off, hoping he'd heed my words.

I was unsure of how much time I'd spent inside, but, immediately following my departure from Zero, I'd gone to the balcony where I was supposed to rendezvous with Kaname. Sure enough, he was there, staring into the diamond-white full moon. However I look his way, he always manages to sustain his undenying beauty.

Upon hearing the tired creak of the glass-paneled door as I reached to crack it behind me, Kaname turned to me. "Good evening again, Yuuki."

I willed myself to stay in place and let a small smile grace my lips. "Kaname-sama." I had my hands folded in front of me, but then set them behind in the attempt to hide my prefect bangle. What good was it to dance with Kaname if he thought I was going to work though it? "I-I. . .Thank you very much. . .f-for sending me this dress." I bowed respectfully.

I could almost feel Kaname's grin as he stepped towards me and dropped his hand underneath my chin, causing my face and body to raise up. "I'm very glad you enjoyed your present. But Yuuki, it would look even more beautiful on you if you would wipe that worried look off your face."

I gasped inwardly, my heart squeezing in my chest. Had he figured out now? "U-Um. . ."

Kaname took his hand in mine, caressing the fingers of the other along my cheek, then across my arm to remove my prefect bangle, dropping it to the tile floor. "I'm only joking. You have the most adorable face, Yuuki."

I slightly nodded and blushed, a swarm of butterflies fluttering within me. "Thank you, Kaname-sama."

"No need to be so formal, Yuuki. Say 'Kaname,' if only for tonight."

Like a child, I obediently repeated him. "Okay, Kaname."

The song playing reminded me of winter, of snow, of Kaname saving me. It was strange, but what was even stranger was the fact that Kaname's and my waltz was completely out of sync to the classical tempo.

"K-Kaname," I began, happy that I said just his name, "Why aren't we dancing to the music?"

He hesitated a bit, but answered me, "I wasn't paying attention to it. I was thinking, we should dance slowly. Like we used to."

Nostalgia drifted through my mind. "I remember. . ."

A blurry piece of my past recalls me learning how to waltz, and I'd done so with Kaname, slowly. I was a child then. . .

I dropped my hands at my sides and stiffened, Kaname's hold lingering to my waist. "What's wrong, Yuuki?"

"When will you stop treating me like a child?" I demanded.

"What a silly thing for you to say," Kaname dodged, I could tell, grinning only slightly.

"Don't pretend like you aren't. Last night, you erased my memories of what I wasn't supposed to see, like. . .you were stopping a child from meddling."

"That wasn't what I intended to do." The grip he had around my waist transferred to my back and I was drawn much closer to Kaname in an embrace. "I don't see you as a child, Yuuki. I only wanted to keep you safe. It was for the best."

What was he doing this for?

"Kaname. . ."

Should I. . .

"Kill Kaname Kuran."

N-No...

"I-I..."

I don't know why she wants Kaname's life, but my choice is made. . .

I turned my cheek from across his shoulder so I could meet those fetching eyes. A florid stain appeared across my nose, and soggy wretchedness lay bare in my eyes. One of my hands petted a side of his beloved visage, and I veiled my vision and swept my lips over his.

What was I doing this for?

I uncovered my eyes only slightly to see Kaname's: his were not in my direction, but toward the door, which I found odd, but then he closed his eyes and I resumed, tightly. I kissed him for a little bit longer, hoping he'd melt out of my hands in endless bliss.

I'm sorry, Kaname. . . My unresponsive hand found my left thigh- my other hand wrapped itself around Kaname's back for a brief distraction- and pulled the dagger from the hem of my dress and clenched the cold metal of the hilt encrusted with blood-colored jewels. I positioned it hovering over his back, targeting the placement of his heart just from the placement of mine. I staked the air between him and his defeat. . .

Instantly, a stain started to grow inside the sleeve of my dress and, from the forearm to my longest finger, a crimson trail slid down to a drip off my fingernail.

He knew. I knew that.

Even if I was the first person Kaname would give his life for, he wasn't going to in the midst of bribery.

A fraction of the tip disappeared into my tight skin; I was quickly able to yank it out and drop it to the floor, aiding my distraught arm.

"How could you, Yuuki?"

He wasn't infuriated as I anticipated: it shone in his eyes that flickered a lustful crimson. But his response still clouded shame over me. My arm throbbed and I clutched it, hoping to staunch the flow of blood. I lowered my head, tears advancing rapidly as they sloped down my cheeks.

Kaname reached out and held me gently by my marred wrist, raising it up to his silky lips and licking at the blood there. I gasped and wriggled uncomfortably at this, my dripping eyes dancing wildly from his face to my wrist, back to his face. . . What if someone sees-

Behind me, I heard the door creak open and, louder than that, a husky panting, and I twirled around.

"Zero. . .?" Only for an instant, he appeared shocked, one hand trembling beneath his clutched throat, but bloodlust conquered his being, his eyes mutating red, the other hand touching a corner of his lips as his fangs extended from his mouth and hungry saliva leaked from it; Zero closed his eyes and bolted across the balcony and hoped over it, dashing out of my sight in seconds.

"Zero!" I started after him, but Kaname held me back by my hand, and I glared at him, knowing I shouldn't have. "Let go, Kaname, please!"

"You should really check inside first. I can assure you that the Night Class has all retreated outdoors at the scent of your blood, much like Kiryu just now."

It was an honest suggestion, but I hesitated, knowing that if I didn't jump down that balcony, Zero would never be found. Unresponsive, I re-entered the ballroom. Sure enough, every student in the Night Class had scattered off, either hunting the source or ravishing the scent of my blood. I checked to see if any were out front, but to no avail. Luckily, I saw the Headmaster return and was heading in. I waved my hands to get his attention, and cried, "Please, Headmaster! I need your help!"

"Oh, is it time for our Daddy-Daughter Dance?" he gushed happily. But the instant he gandered upon my agonized face, and down to the burgundy stain of my sleeve and hand, he stiffened in worry. "It's the Night Class, isn't it?" I nodded briskly. "And what happened to your arm, Yuuki?"

He sounded ready to scold me, but I figured honesty would alleviate that. "Maria told me of ways I could save Zero. And one of them was. . .t-to. . ." I could barely finish as I wiped some tears that were still gushing from my eyes, "to kill Kaname-sama. But, I . . How could I? I love that man so much, and to doubt his knowledge? I deserve physical pain . . ." Now tears of anguish mingled with that of agony to the torn skin of my arm.

The Headmaster hugged me closely, then took a cloth from his suit and tied it around the larger slit in the wound. "That should ease the pain for now, but we'll have to treat that later. Where are Kaname and Zero?"

"Oh. . ." I gazed to my upper right, seeing nothing but the glass-paneled door now cracked like ice, and sighed. "I'm not sure where Kaname-sama is. And Zero. . .He. . ." I paused for a bit. The truth would have to stay behind: I couldn't tell the Headmaster I've been secretly donating my blood to Zero! "He's somewhere." I was about to run before my father could say more, but I stopped and bowed, requesting, "Headmaster Cross, please locate every member of the Night Class on my behalf! I've checked the Day Class and they're currently being kept inside the ballroom, so please ensure that as well!"

~:o:~

A hand brushed against the lightly throbbing scar concealed by long white gauze on Yuuki's arm. A sign of sheer regret and a rift in her relationship with Kaname.

The pains were all subsiding. All because of one moment. . .

~:o:~

The halls, Zero's dorm, the Headmaster's bathroom, and the perimeter of the school was empty of Zero. It grew darker now, and it was tough to see through the opaque and keen-edged trees and brush along all angles of me. I trotted slowly in refusal to injure anything else and unleash more blood, more lust.

I hated myself in ways no one understood. Zero was breaking in pieces, but I shattered them. And I'd pity him only, not once even trying to think back that I caused some of his pain. When Zero sees me with Kaname, I can't help but think there's serious tension between them that's blinded through my eyes. I'd never get into Zero's heart if I just kept pushing him aside to satiate my own love for Kaname.

Continuously screening through the miniscule forest, I cleared it and stepped onto the ebony concrete pathway toward the pool. Shrouded by the night, I didn't notice, until my foot dashed against it, Zero's overcoat that had, apparently, been shoved off onto the canvas. He had to be as close as a breath's distance away from me; I shoulder the heavy ulster and hasten ahead.

My arm twinged between the soaking makeshift bandage, sending soft throbs of pity to my mending neck wounds. I winced, pressing two fingers firmly against the constricting wraps and my arm against my side to it wouldn't bustle around.

From afar, I finally located him kneeling onto the concrete, his face hovering over the inanimate pool water. I stopped a couple of feet behind him; his back was to me. I glimpsed at the crimson that remained in his irises, bright in the shaded reflection. His breaths grew more ragged and the grip he had on his throat tightened, and he dove his hands into the pool, fishing out handfuls of icy liquid and splashing into onto his face. He repeated this about three times, each with a more struggling gasp escaping his now soaked lips.

That failed to suppress his current state. His fangs were still bared, only hammering at his mouth and begging, aching for a drink. Zero knew he couldn't feed off of himself, but he fought the fact as he pinched a corner of his pout with a glistening fang, lapping up the string of blood that wept just near his chin.

Her approach thrashed at his ears, sustaining each click of her heels, each stubby step growing louder, louder, and LOUDER.

"Yuuki, don't," asserted Zero raggedly, a lone hitch following his last word. He didn't need to turn around to acknowledge the stillness in the air from my presence, the slightest inhale of my blood both gluttonous and ambrosial to his vampire half.

"Zero, it's okay. Go ahead," I assured him, extending my trembling arm with a roll-up of my sleeve and an unwrapping of the useless cloth. I felt myself go pink to the tips of my ears, and he hadn't even fed yet. "I know how hungry you are."

His head turned as he whiffed the exposed skin of my arm bathed in blood. His jaw quivered as it unclenched, his twin daggers appearing sharper, more desperate, to drink from my arm. As he hesitantly drew closer, I craned it nearer to him. When the distance was closed, he locked his fingers over mine, taking his other hand under my elbow. Starting from the crystallizing blood in the center, Zero didn't bite and let more blood flow from my arm. He licked at it with long, open-mouthed strokes, unleashing a satisfied pant as his tongue dried and told him to swallow. Leftover droplets of water slipped from the hair strands over his eyes and rolled off my wrist. This was too strange- Zero's refusal to bite. And both Kaname and Zero made a treat out of the sweet red of my forearm... It caused me to grow nervously hotter in the face, wondering why Zero hadn't wanted more after his wet serpent traveled shy from my wrist and shoulder, leaving it sticky, but clean.

I dismissed the fiery dryness in my throat. "You don't want more?"

The bright crimson was fading from his eyes at last, and he shamefully turned away from me. "You want me to?"

"I. . .just thought it was strange, that's all."

Zero didn't comment about this and started to walk away, leaning over to pick up his suit jacket I'd set on the grass.

"Wait, Zero!" I called, reaching out for his arm and clutching onto it. "Why aren't you drinking from my neck now?" I loosened the pink ribbon from my throat and let it drop to the floor, exposing my bare neck. "I can let you-"

"Yuuki. . ." Zero's amethyst irises bored into my garnet ones dauntlessly. "Are you telling me you enjoy being hurt by me?"

"No," I replied strongly. "Zero, I told you I'd give you my blood whenever you needed it. Yet you resist every time! You can trust that I'll look after you!"

"Do you know why I earnestly fought hard not to pierce my fangs into your arm, or your neck?" he asked immediately. His voice shook, his eyes again fixed themselves away from me. "I hate causing you pain, Yuuki."

I was struck by that statement. If Zero hated something, he never doubted it. I knew he wasn't lying, yet it stabbed me to hear him say that.

"You can't just go around pitying me for experiencing a slight pain for your sake, Zero. . ." My voice grew feathery.

"You don't think I feel the same way?" Zero asked, studying my downcast gaze.

"But your pain won't go away, Zero!" I shouted, matching his gaze with teary eyes. My voice shrunk lower to a mild whisper, "I've brought pains to you, too, Zero. Pains of regret. I know you don't like me allowing you to drink my blood, but it's what I've decided to-"

I was silenced by Zero's lips, slightly calloused, a bit soft, tasting coppery from my blood, planting over mine. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to shock me. Zero hid his face beside my head to shroud his shame, but I caught his frowning, slightly blushing face. Tears gradually sprung into my eyes as Zero stroked a shaking hand along my hair.

"You saw me and Kaname-sama, didn't you?" I muttered. "I'm so stupid. Zero, I tried to-"

"That doesn't matter to me," he spoke into my hair, then distancing himself from me and looking into my eyes. "If you'd rather be with Kaname, I won't stop you."

I shook my head, clutching onto the front of his suit. "Zero, I. . .I just want to be with you right now, if only for tonight." Kaname-sama probably hates me. . .for what I tried to do. The scarred wound throbbed at the thought. I glanced up at Zero, round tears dripping off my jawbone. He gently swiped at the water against both my blooming cheeks with the back of his hand. I sniffled, a tiny grin replacing my thanks.

"W-Will you dance with me?" I asked innocently, my container of pity and frowning emptying.

"I. . ." he stammered, his eyes darting across the air. "I'm not much of a dancer."

"Okay. . ." I urged, placing my palms over his and offering a comforting squeeze. "Then I'll lead, you follow. Here, I'll show you how to do the waltz. Slowly."

Zero seemed very cooperative as I led him along; "One foot in front of the other, keep the shoulders back, head up, legs and arms slightly apart. . .And don't step on my feet!"

The whim of a melody would've only disturbed the resurfacing comfort between us.

Each step drew me closer and closer to Zero's heart. There, I spotted a sense of recovery- his regrets of taking my blood were surely passing. In his eyes, I could see a light twinkle of delight- he seemed to like to do the waltz! And it triggered something I long since cherished. . .

Tonight, Zero smiled.

The memory of that tender grin- the two soft creases that appeared at the corners of his lips, a bit of his teeth showing, and a barely-audible chuckle that escaped his lips- was the remedy that allowed me to sleep harmlessly the rest of the night.