Summary: It all started with a jutsu gone wrong… and Naruto and Sasuke find themselves in a stressful and decidedly awkward situation. A light-hearted and kinda stupid story that takes place sometime before Sasuke goes all power-hungry and follows Orochimaru… Seriously, I can't handle deep stuff like that…
Pairing: Either SasuNaru or NaruSasu, I haven't decided yet… I'll probably throw a few other pairings in here too.
Rating: PG-13 or T for shounen-ai, language, and stupidity.
Disclaimer: I lay no claim to any of the Naruto characters; I'm merely borrowing them for my own entertainment, and (hopefully) the entertainment of those who read this.
Note: Yep, first Naruto fanfic! I've done doujinshi but never actually WRITTEN before. Let's see how this turns out…
Prologue
Uzumaki Naruto had known from the start that it was a bad idea.
Yes, he had.
Of course he had!
This was completely Sasuke's fault.
'You don't know what you're talking about, dead last.' an annoyed voice echoed in his head.'SHUT UP, YOU BASTARD!' Naruto's mind screamed. That infuriating voice just chuckled at him condescendingly. He could just hear the sneer in that laugh –
'It's better than your obnoxious, girly cackling –' the voice interrupted.
'Stop listening to my thoughts!''Like I have a choice, you complete moron!' came the biting reply.
A frustrated moan escaped the blonde ninja's lips as he glared daggers down at his hands.
Yes, this was definitely Sasuke's fault.
– Approximately three hours and twelve minutes earlier. –
"I'm telling you, it'll be worth it, Sasuke! This jutsu is a hundred times cooler than any of – oi, pay attention to me, you bastard!"
"Dobe, I don't have time to learn pointless skills from you." Sasuke said irritably, his eyes never leaving the practice target as he flung a kunai with lightening speed straight into the bull's-eye.
"Pointless!" Naruto shrieked, his face turning a bright, angry red, "I'll show you just what this pointless technique can do! MIND READING NO JUTSU!"
There was absolute silence for a few moments. Then,
"…What the hell was that supposed to be, idiot?" Sasuke's skeptical voice cut through the quiet.
Naruto cackled loudly and jabbed a finger at Sasuke's chest, shouting, "I just read your mind, Mr. Perfect!"
Sasuke stared at him blankly.
"Don't believe me? Ha! This'll prove it to you – you were thinking about eating ramen!" Naruto grinned smugly at his teammate.
Sasuke's expression instantly morphed from one of perplexity to one of exasperation.
"Those are your thoughts, you total moron." Sasuke ground out, pressing his fingers to his temples.
Naruto's wide smirk faltered slightly. Scrunching his face up and glaring at Sasuke, he swiftly formed the hand seals a second time, letting loose another shout of "mind reading no jutsu!"
Sasuke stood calmly in front of his hyperactive companion, allowing the small burst of chakra to flow into and past him as if it had been a slight gust of wind.
"What makes you think you could do it right the second time if you couldn't get it to work the first?" Sasuke sneered.
Naruto growled in the back of his throat and forced his eyes shut in an attempt to focus his chakra. Seconds later, they snapped open again, a determined fire blazing in their endless cerulean depths. His hands blurred as they flew through the sequence of seals.
But Sasuke was more than ready for him this time. His own hands launched into a rapid-fire pattern of seals… rat, tiger, horse, dragon, boar…
Two voices rang out clearly through the peace of the forest training grounds.
"MIND READING NO JUTSU!"
The last thing either of them remembered losing consciousness was a flash of pale but blinding pink light.
When Naruto awoke the first thing he was aware of was a razor-sharp pain that felt like it would split his head in two. He groaned and forced his body to sit up.
Big mistake, he realized, as his head swirled and his vision spun. Groaning in agony and clutching at his head, Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and allowed himself to flop back down onto the bristly grass.
Wait…
Grass?
Opening his eyes slightly, he squinted groggily at his surroundings, doing his best to ignore the throbbing pain that stabbed through his head. After blinking stupidly for a few long moments, his mind slowly registered that he was at the Genin training grounds.
It was as if the sight of the training grounds broke some sort of dam in his mind. Suddenly the memories came flooding back, surging to the forefront of his consciousness – the jutsu he'd been experimenting with, the argument, the pink flash of light –
"SASUKE!" Naruto roared, his voice echoing through the emptiness of the grounds. He stood up and distractedly noticed that it was dark out. 'Where the hell is that jerk…?'
His ears caught the slightest moan and he whipped around only to see Sasuke sitting up, clutching his head much in the same way Naruto had been moments earlier.
'Argh, that voice! Can't that moron stop his screeching for more than five seconds… Ooohhhh, my head…'
"I don't care about your stupid head, bastard! What the hell did you do to me?" Naruto whined.
Sasuke glared up at the short, spiky-haired boy standing in front of him with his hands on his hips and a deep scowl on his face.
"Excuse me?" the Uchiha growled, "what I did?"
"That's right – you knocked us both out cold, you idiot!" Naruto griped, flailing his arms rather childishly, in Sasuke's opinion.
"I do not flail childishly!" Naruto protested angrily, continuously hopping from one foot to the other in his agitation.
"Oh, why do I even…" Sasuke trailed off. "Wait, what did you just say?"
"I said, I don't flail like a child!" Naruto replied, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking his tongue out petulantly.
"What the hell…? How did you know my exact thoughts?" Sasuke asked his teammate suspiciously.
"Eh? What 'thoughts'? I just heard you say loud and clear that you thought I was flailing!" Naruto said, staring at Sasuke with a mixture of anger and confusion.
"I didn't say it out loud!" Sasuke protested.
"You did, I heard you!"
"Did not!"
"You did so!"
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
'God, this is tiring.' Sasuke thought to himself.
"Yeah, no fuckin' kidding." Naruto growled under his breath.
"There, it happened again!" Sasuke shouted, eyes widening. This was so not normal!
"What happened again?" The blonde boy cried. 'Are you finally cracking, Uchiha? I always knew you were a psycho deep down!'
"Take that back, Dobe, I'm not psycho – I think I'd know what I said and didn't say!"
Naruto shut up as if he had been slapped on the face, and stared at the boy sitting on the grass in front of him with an expression that suggested Sasuke had grown an extra nose.
Naruto finally spoke again, peering at his rival through squinted eyes, "What the… you heard –"
"– You call me a psycho in your thoughts? Yes."
'So can you hear this?'
Sasuke nodded.
"Sasuke…" Naruto started, seemingly uncertain.
Said shinobi glanced at him questioningly.
"…This is so totally your fault!"
A/N: Well, as silly and unoriginal of an idea as it is, I'm certainly having fun with it. Review please! It's always very encouraging to know people like my story…