Hey guys, so as you know I only write when I feel there is a Linstead scene worth writing for. I still don't know where my head is at with that last episode. Nadia didn't deserve to be killed, especially in that way. In "The Fading Whispers Collection" I don't want to put them together until they are together on the show.
Tag to 2x20: "The Number of Rats"
Disclaimer: All rights reserved to NBC.
Fading Whispers Collection Presents:
When I See You Again
"She didn't deserve this!" Detective Erin Lindsay crie into Detective Jay Halstead's shoulder. Gregory Yates's trial had just ended. He had been found guilty of murdering and raping Nadia Decotis, Erin's roommate, her best friend and her "mini me". They'd been as close as sisters.
"I know," Jay whispered trying to console her. He looked around the hotel room and his eyes landed on the picture of Nadia they had been showing people before they had found her body.
"She was trying to turn her life around and becoming a…" She trailed off and just sobbed. The only thing that was holding her up was Jay. He had been there for her, he had been the one to console her the day they found her body, he had even stayed with her on the nights she couldn't sleep.
Jay took Erin's face in his hands, "No one deserves this, especially Nadia," He sighed. "She had been working so hard to turn her life around, but now Yates is gonna rot in prison where he belongs."
"I just wanna go lay down,' Erin smiled sadly. She hadn't been in any mood to do anything lately. They had one more day in New York before they had to head back to Chicago. Olivia Benson and her team had invited the team to a little get together in honor of Nadia.
"Do you want me to leave?" Jay asked her letting her go walk over to the bed. He really didn't want to leave. He felt content with her and felt better knowing someone was with her.
"No, stay." Erin said as she got under the covers and patted the empty side next to her.
Jay walked over and took her in his arms.
o0o
He had rubbed soothing circles on her back for a while until she fell asleep. He carefully got up from the bed trying not to disturb her and walked over to the recliner by the window that overlooked New York City.
There was a book on the coffee table and he picked it up and looked inside of it. Police Interrogation and American Justice. Jay figured Erin would sleep for a while so he opened it and read what was written on the first page. 'Erin, thanks for everything. I am going to make you proud. Hopefully I am as good a cop as you one day. Love, Nadia.'
Jay lost it. He immediately teared up and couldn't control his emotions. He started to read but it is hard to see through blurry tears. A few chapters in, Jay finally got his emotions in check. There was a knock on the door, Jay got up, book in hand and walked over to the door.
"What's going on?" Voight asked. He really hated the idea of Jay and Erin being together.
"She didn't want to be alone so she asked me to stay. I was just reading," Jay held out the book for Voight to see. "She was a mess. She called me so I came down, I was just consoling her and trying to get her to calm down," At this point, Jay was just rambling on and on.
"Jay, calm down. It's okay, I believe you. Are you okay?" He asked pointing to his puffy eyes.
"No," Jay said handing the book over. "Read the first page."
Hank's face dropped. "Where did you find this?"
"It was on the coffee table, why?"
Hanks sighed. "Nadia gave this to Erin for Christmas. I have to go," Hank said giving the book back to Jay. "Don't leave her alone, I just need a few minutes."
Jay turned back into the room. He watched Erin sleep so peacefully. He looked down at the book in his hands, he padded over to the window and sat back down. Before he opened the book back up he thought back to a conversation he and Nadia had when she found out about the two of them. She was the only one who knew.
"If you hurt her, so help me god, I will bury you," Nadia had just gotten home and had found the two making out on the couch.
"Okay," Jay put his arms up in surrender. He thought it was sweet, how Nadia protected Erin as if the were biologically related.
A flood of grief washed over Jay.
o0o
Thirty minutes later, Jay heard stirring.
"Jay?" A groggy Erin said. "What are you doing?"
"Just reading." He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge.
"She gave that to me for Christmas," She smiled. "She saw it and thought of me."
"That's sweet," Jay smiled. "When Nadia walked in on us she told me she would bury me if I ever hurt you. I thought it was really sweet how she protected you. How you protected each other."
"She really was like a little sister to me," She smiled. "She could be annoying though. i miss it," Erin admitted.
"How was she annoying?" Jay figured it was a good idea to try to get her to talk about Nadia.
"She would make fun of me. And you being together. After we cooled it off, I slept in your Army Rangers shirt for about a week," She chuckled and felt embarrassed to admit that to him. "So she went out and bought me a new set of pajamas and got herself a matching pair."
They were both laughing. Then after a few minutes Jay heard her sniffle. "Shh, it's gonna be okay," He pulled her up and kissed her hair. She was eventually sobbing and he rocked her back and fourth. She tried to fight it but eventually gave up. He was too strong for her.
"Voight can't find out about us this time," Erin finally broke the silence after about 15 minutes of sobbing.
"He, uh, he already does."
"What? How did he find out? We haven't even done anything."
"He knocked on the door while you were sleeping. He told me..." He trailed off. "He told me to stay with you. I had only been reading and I showed him the book. He believed me and said he needed a few minutes."
"He just thinks you're staying here to keep me company then, right?"
"I don't know. I really believe he will just be happier if we tell him, or maybe it's best we let things calm down before we start again," Jay really wanted to start up with her again. He just didn't want her to resent him.
"Jay," Erin shook her head. "I don't want to call it quits again because of Voight. Nor do I want to-"
"Erin, I love you, I really do." Jay took her face in his hands.
"Look, I'm sorry." Erin said trying to push away from him, clearly embarrassed.
"Erin!" Jay yelled. "I don't ever want to hear you say I'm sorry ever again to me. You have nothing to be sorry about."
"Jay, please listen to me," Erin started to cry.
"No you listen to me," He took a breath. "Erin, I don't want you to resent me," He admitted. "I love you and the only thing I want in this world right now is for you to be happy," He wiped the tears on her cheeks. "I want us to be together, I do."
"Then who cares what Voight says."
"I do. He is like your dad and I want his blessing."
"Jay, that's sweet," She smiled with tears brimming her eyes. "It really is, but when I first moved in with Hank and Camille, they told me all they wanted for me in life was to be safe and happy. I'm happy with you."
"I think they meant when you were living there."
"I think they meant in life," Erin smiled at him.
"Well then," He paused. "If we really want this to work, we have to come clean."
"It's so much fun sneaking around."
"Erin," He kissed her.
"Jay," She mocked back when they broke from the kiss,
"Come on, it's getting late and we have a flight to catch in the morning," He walked across the room and grabbed her a fresh set of pajamas.
"Jay," Erin called.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For everything," She smiled.
"No problem, I'd do anything for you," He sighed. "Now, I have to get you to bed unless we want to miss our flight."
"Don't go," She said. "I just don't know if I'm ready to be on my own yet."
"Sure," He smiled and began unbuttoning his shirt. He left his undershirt on and striped down to his boxers. He padded over to the bed where Erin was already getting turned away from him as he got into the bed. He put his arm against her torso. He could feel her shaking so he pulled her closer. "You okay?"
"Yeah," She replied and turned to face him. He was laying on his side and he pulled her in so close her face was touching his perfect chest. "Just needed a moment."
"Okay," He rubbed soothing circles on her back. "I love you."
"I love you too," She mumbled and drifted into sleep.
o0o
At two in the morning Jay awoke to continuous knocking at Erin's door. He looked down at erin whose head was resting on his chest. He carefully moved her, trying not to wake her and he walked over to the door and opened it up.
"Halsted," It was Voight. "What are you still doing here?"
"She, uh, she asked me to stay. She couldn't handle being alone. I swear we didn't do anything," He put his hands up in surrender.
"Jay," Voight paused. "Thank you. For everything."
"She's my partner. We made a promise to each other when we became partners to have each others backs, no matter what. I vowed to keep that promise," Halsted expressed his commitment for their partnership.
"You're not a bad guy, Halsted."
"Thank you," Jay smiled.
"I still don't condone this relationship," He admitted.
"I see."
"So just keep it in your pants at work," Voight looked down.
"I told her before she fell asleep, that I didn't want to start anything up because I didn't want her to resent me, that I wanted you to know about it," He admitted. "I just want to let her think about it first. This whole ordeal with Yates and all, she seems a little vulnerable."
"I respect that, I do. Thank you."
"Yes, sir." Jay said as he was about to turn back into the room.
"Halstead," Voight called after him, Jay turned around. "You're not such a bad guy."
"Thanks," And with that he turned back into the room.