The Harrowing of Andraste

When I was a child I always thought the Sisters watched us closely because they loved us. But at the age of six I learned from one of the older kids that they were examining us. Watching for any hint of magic. The other five children and I that lived in within the large Chantry were orphans. We didn't have a horrible sob story. Our parents weren't killed during a war or perished from a disease. All our parents were very much alive but scattered throughout the various Circles of Magi. Basically a prison for those who have the ability to manipulate the flow of mana and cast spells. When mages have children they are taken by Sisters and are property of the Chantry. Whoever my mother is, she never got a chance to hold or even name me. That was all up to the Sister that brings the child to the nearest Chantry. The Sister who carried me to the Chantry gave me my name, Andraste.

I stayed at the Chantry for eight years. One night I was given the task of lighting all the candles within the Chantry for the morning service. Hundreds of candles line the walls leading to the altar and upon the altar there are even more candles. The task was pretty daunting for an eight year old and all I kept thinking about was the other children still sleeping in their straw made beds. That's when I stood there in the aisle and wished that the candles would light themselves, and the wish came true. A Sister was coming to check on me. She dropped the golden tray of fragrant flowers when she saw all the candles light at once. The surge of magic also set fire to the altar. Quickly I was taken by Templars on a long journey through the lands of Thedas. We passed by farmlands, cities, and I saw ice-covered mountains.

Once at the Circle in a land that's only color palette seemed to be shades of brown, I was passed onto another group of Templars. At eight years old I knew Templars could be dangerous and cruel to mages but I still stared at them in wonder. They were plated head to toe in polished steel and deep red cloaks that floated gracefully behind them with the symbol of their Order embroidered in gold thread. An upright sword with the sunburst symbol of the Chantry around it. I was left with two older mage women and a handful of other children within the same age range as me. It felt the same as living in the Chantry with the Sisters and other orphans except I traded in learning about the Maker and praying to learning about magic and how to control it.

As a child I was quiet and reserved and I transitioned into a shy teen girl. After lessons about magic I would spend time among the countless tomes in the Circle's library. Being an avid reader seemed to be the one trait that carried over from being raised in the Chantry. In the library is where I met Ser Kieran, one of the Templars that greeted me back when I first came to the Circle. Most mages tried to keep their interactions with Templars to a minimum, but I still held onto that childlike fascination with them.

"Raised in a Chantry?" said Ser Kieran as he came up to table I had claimed as my own.

"Yes," I said with a sheepish smile. "How can you tell?"

That's when I noticed his charming smile as he picked through my pile of books that were spread across the oak table. There was a scar on his right cheek that ended just below the corner of his lips.

"I too was raised by Sisters. Although I couldn't stand reading the countless stories about the Maker and his Bride," He said as he picked up another book and studied its cover. "You'd think with all these great tales of the miracles the Maker is capable of doing that we'd treat mages with a little more respect." He set the book down. "How rude of me, I'm Kieran. A Templar. But I'm sure you already knew that." He blushed a little. "Knew that I was Templar, not my name." I started to giggle which deepened his blushing to a darker red.

"I'm Andraste. A mage," I said. He laughed at the introduction. I had set down the book I was reading not even caring about leaving a book marker.

He was still chuckling and bowed down a little. "Oh I hope you weren't insulted by my earlier comment," He said as he studied me. "Andraste fits you perfectly though. The blonde hair and light eyes. You are like the living portrait of her."

It was my turn to blush now. Growing up in the Chantry I was constantly reading or hearing stories of the Holy Andraste, the Maker's Bride. Her words were the basis that formed the Chantry and the Andrastian religion that spread through the continents of Thedas. In the Chantry I felt like it was a name I had to live up to, but within the Circle I felt like I'm unworthy of the name.

"I've heard worse said about my name. And truth be told, I got sick of hearing about the Holy Andraste too." I paused a moment. "I did like the Chant of Light though. Saying the verses always made me feel so peaceful, which I guess is the point." We both laughed.

I noticed the few other mages that wandered the library gave us strange looks as they passed us by. In a way I understood their wary stares at Ser Kieran, since he's part of an Order that essentially is meant to keep mages under control. With many occasions of them abusing that power given to them by the Chantry to brutally hunt down mages. That sometimes it seems that the Templars would rather control with fear than actually protect, which was their original duty.

At the sound of ringing chainmail and heavy steel boots Ser Kieran lost his casual posture and smile. The two Templars that stood in front of him talked quickly and then passed through the library acting as if we mages didn't even exist. As red cloaks fluttered past Ser Kieran bowed shallowly toward me and followed the Templars. He turned back to me and smiled as he left the library.

I wandered into the chapel within the Circle's tower. It was small compared to the Chantry I was raised in but the old wooden benches and brightly lit altar gave me a sense of calmness. An older woman in her pink Chantry robes attended to the altar as I approached. She turned to look at me with a slight bow and smile and let me alone in the chapel. Looking above the altar my eyes rested upon the white marble statue of the Holy Andraste, her serene smooth face and praying hands.

I wondered what she would think of these towers and how the Chantry and Templars treat mages if she were alive today. She probably would agree that we should be shut away from society, that magic is too dangerous. After all the Trevinter Imperium which is ruled by archmages is who she rebelled against. They are the ones who burned her at the stake for being a heretic. But from the Holy Andraste came the Chant of Light which gave rise to the Chantry. And the Chantry is ultimately who placed me here.

Sometimes I hated her so much, but looking at her marble face I could see a sadness there. Underneath her serene expression was a great sorrow, betrayed by her mortal husband and handed to the savage Trevinter's who enslaved her people. But even after all that she still had a place to go in death. To the Maker's side to be his Bride. Where would my place be when I died? Would the Maker welcome me into the Golden City? Or are mages forever banished to darkness.

"There you are. I've been looking all over." The voice of Kieran broke me from my dark musings.

"I just thought I'd take a walk and ended up here." I said as I turned away from statue Andraste's face.

"Must be feeling homesick. If you can really call a Chantry home." He walked closer to the altar. "I use to do the same when I first joined the Templars." I watched as he looked up at the Holy Andraste's statue. "I haven't stepped foot inside a Chantry for a while now." He looked from the statue to me. "You looked deep in thought."

I nodded and pointed up at the statue. "I was thinking about her."

"It's hard not to think about her. Especially since the most Chantry's make sure to have all kinds of depictions of her. Stained glass, statues, and paintings. There's no escape from her." He sighed. "What else do you think about?"

Earlier I had thought of my parents. During my time in the Chantry I would think about them a lot, but now being in the Circle those thoughts only sneak up on me in the early hours. I wasn't sure if I should mention it to Kieran. But still I blurted it out.

"My parents."

His eyebrows raised in question. Probably not the answer he thought he would get. It wasn't exactly the answer I wanted to give to him either, but I feel like I just need to talk to someone about it. In the Chantry when I mentioned or asked about my parents the Sisters would shush me and would change the subject to a teaching about the Maker.

"I'm sorry, it's childish of me." I said trying to wave it off. "Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I was just looking for you to talk. Templar duty can be so boring." He smiled at me. "Did you want to talk about your parents?"

"I hate them." There it was, the outburst I had been holding back for long. "They knew what would happen. They knew they wouldn't be able to keep a child. And they still did it." I sighed, starting to feel relaxed after finally saying what I've held in so long. "Though I still daydream about them, what it would be like to meet them. Even though I know it's only a dream and it will most likely never happen. They could be in this very Circle and I would never know."

Kieran was silent, our friendship was still new that this outburst of emotion was a lot to process. "I doubt they would be here." He said but his eyes widened as he realized how what he said might come off. "I just mean because no one here looks like you." He was blushing. "I think I would know if I saw one of your parents."

"That's very kind of you to say, Kieran." I said with a light blush. "Maybe if they were poor farmers or Orlesian nobles, this would all be different."

"I'm glad they are mages." Kieran said. I was shocked at his response. "If they were anyone different I would have never gotten to meet you, Andraste." He said as he reached for a stray lock of blonde hair. His back stiffened and he dropped the lock of hair. "I should get going before they notice I've been gone." He bowed and left.

Once again I was left alone in the chapel with all the flickering burning candles. I turned away from the altar and walked along the aisle. Before leaving, I paused and turned to look at the Andraste statue. The burning flames danced all around the base of the figure.

Kieran and I continued our friendship, meeting in the library and discussing the different books I would be reading at the time. Some of the friends I had from when I first came to the Circle would talk to me less and less. I was confused and hurt when I would see them and they would pass by as if I was a stranger. I talked to Kieran about it since I didn't understand what would cause them to act that way.

"Their Harrowing is coming up. It usually makes most apprentice mages nervous." We stood in a corner of the library. He would absent mindedly pick at books while I usually would pull them out and read a few pages. This time I leaned against the book case. "Yours is coming up too. How do you feel about it?"

I puzzled at his question since I thought I would be more nervous about going through the Harrowing to become a full-fledged member of the Circle. But as an apprentice we have no knowledge of what happens at the Harrowing other than some apprentices are never seen after going through it.

"I don't know," I said and he looked at me perplexed by my answer. "I am curious as to what the Harrowing is." I tentatively looked at Kieran as I asked the question that had been waiting to be released by my lips. "Could you tell me anything about it?"

"I'm sorry, Andraste. I really wish I could." He looked sad and paused like he was thinking if there was anything he could tell me. "It's a difficult ritual. On both mage and Templars involved. That's all I will say about it."

"Thank you, Kieran." I said quietly. "So you think nerves is why my friends have been avoiding me?"

He handed me an old tattered book. "Sort of. I think it's a combination of that and our friendship."

"Our friendship?" I asked.

"I'm aware of the way mages look at me when I pass by them or talk to them. And I also understand why they would act so cautiously since many of my colleagues have not been the kindest." He paused as he stumbled over his next sentence. "It's hard to explain without revealing anything about Harrowing. But they might be afraid of my opinion about them."

"You'd think they would want to be my best friends then." I smiled as I tried to joke.

We wandered the back area of the library until I had my fill of books. Kieran escorted me back to my quarters and paused in the doorway. I held the door open as I waited for Kieran's thoughts to turn to words. He opened and closed his mouth before deciding to smile and bow. He turned and walked down the hallway, his cape following behind him.

I closed the door behind me and laid on my bed. At that moment I started to feel the electricity of nerves surge through my limbs. I wondered about the Harrowing ritual. Kieran mentioned that it's hard on the mage and the Templars. Why would Templars be there? Were they there to protect the mage involved or was it something worse? The more I speculated about the Harrowing the more nervous I began to feel. I grabbed the tattered book Kieran had handed me in the library and started to read until I fell asleep.

Today's lesson was about combat magic, although we weren't allowed to practice any magic yet, the elder mage woman said we would do well to pay attention. During the lecture I started to reflect on my time as a mage. The first act of magic was at the Chantry before I was taken to the Circle. There haven't been many since, except the time when an old girl asked me about my first time using magic. Which I couldn't control and the flames of the candle spread to a curtain, luckily our caretaker entered the room and was able to put out the fire. With magic, of course. But that's when I learned why apprentice mages are not allowed to use their magic until after the Harrowing ceremony.

Once we were told the lesson was over I wandered to the library. Part of me wanted to read the book on magic during battle, the other part was hoping Kieran would come by. Only a few pages into the book the image of Kieran in his Templar uniform kept popping up in my mind, distracting me from my reading. Kieran. I felt my cheeks warm. There was something forbidden about our friendship, but somehow it made it more exciting.

While growing up, before the Circle, I experienced the distain that Templars had for mages and their bastard born children. They would visit the Chantry to see if there were any orphan boys of age that they could recruit into the Templar Order. By recruit I mean force. The orphan boys had no choice but to go with the Templars since Chantry's rarely employ men as Brothers. The Chantry was a female driven force all because of the Holy Andraste.

Was that how Kieran's childhood was? I knew he grew up in a Chantry like me, but were our origins really that similar. It made me wonder if that is why he had such kindness toward mages. Since he could have been one of us. I wish others could understand his compassion that not all Templars are like the cruel hateful ones that mostly fill the Circles.

I sighed and slammed my book shut. The library had mostly cleared out and Kieran was nowhere in sight. Maybe it was the nerves of the Harrowing creeping up in my mind but I felt tired and decided to retire to my room. Back in my room I stripped the heavy robes off and put on my lighter nightgown. The tattered book that Kieran handed me during earlier time in the library sat on my desk. I realized I never really looked at what it was.

The book cover was worn but I could tell that it once was a vibrant red from the tucked in part of the spine that was protected from the wear of time. Etched in on the cover was the sunburst symbol of the Chantry that at one time was painted gold. The title had been rubbed off from wear. Flipping open the book the title page read Andraste. As I skimmed the table of contents it appeared the book was a biography about the Holy Andraste.

I started to read hastily. Many of the stories were ones the Sisters would have never spoken about. It detailed Andraste's early life and her marriage to her warlord husband, Maferath. We were always told that Andraste had no natural children that she only raised Maferath's sons that came from other women. But here in this book it talks about two daughters she had. There was also hint in one of the chapters that Andraste had magical capabilities. I stopped reading. Andraste a mage? Where did Kieran find this book, there was no way it had been on the shelves if it contained this. The Chantry would fall to its knees if this was true.

During my parade of thoughts I hadn't even noticed that Kieran had entered the room. He stumbled over a pile of books I had left on the floor which abruptly brought me out of my contemplations. I only had one candle lit at my desk which cast a faint glow in the room.

"Kieran. You startled me." I held my hand to my chest. "This book you gave me, where did you find this? Do you know what is in this?" I bombarded him with questions.

He stood there swaying in silence. My heart thumped at my chest in a crazed panic from reading that book and from the way Kieran stood over me. Steel came crashing down as Kieran knelt down in from of me like his legs could no long hold him up. On his breath was a strange bitter odor that I often smelt on the older mages. He started to laugh.

"Oh, Andraste." He said smiling but not the way he usually did when he said my name. "Andraste. Oh, Holiest Andraste." He laughed again, the shadows dancing on his face.

"This is not funny." I said as I was about to stand up but he grabbed my hands, cupping them against his face.

"No, you're right. This isn't funny." He stifled a sad laugh. "I just wasn't sure how else to tell you." He still held my hands to his cheeks. "I still don't know if I want to." I could feel him hiccup. "I went with some of the others out to a tavern. I listened to them talk about their exploits. One of them was there when I did what I did." His voice was muffled by my lap but I was too stunned to push him away. Or hug him close.

"Kieran, you don't -" I started to stop him from saying whatever it was he was trying. I think it's because I wasn't sure what if I was even ready. But this man had quickly become my close friend. At the chapel I unloaded on him about my feelings of my parents and here he is struggling to tell me something.

"I have to do this. It's not right if I don't. You have to be the one to forgive me." Finally he pulled away from my lap and sat up. Still not meeting my eyes. "When I first became a Templar I was assigned to a group that would go to homes of suspected mages. These were not gentle Templars, but sometimes it took a harsher approach to get these apostates. I thought I was doing the right thing, that I was protecting the people of Thedas and even the mages themselves." I could see in the candle light that his cheeks were wet with tears. This is finally when he made eye contact. "I killed a mage."

Usually when a person hears that someone close to them killed someone they would push that person away, yell at them, and walk away. But the pain in Kieran's eyes explained to me that it was not something he had done with ease. This time I wrapped my arms around the back of his head and held him close to my lap. This was an intimacy I've never experiences with another person but at this moment it felt right.

"Is that how you got your scar?" I had a feeling that it was connected to what has pained him.

"Yes. He dug his nails into my face when I…" He trailed off but I understood what he meant. "Andraste. When I saw you in the chapel and there was a glow about you. I took it as a sign."

"That was probably just candle light." That's when I noticed I had also been crying also.

He chuckled softly. "I know."

Days passed since the last time I saw Kieran in my room. Each day a different apprentice mage in my class was taken by two helmeted Templars. Most were later seen in the hallways looking pretty exhausted, but when asked questions they would shake their head and say they are not allowed say what they went through.

I grew nervous each time the two Templars showed up at the door and called out a name. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear my name called. But the Harrowing is an important part of a mage's life in the Circle. We do know the reason why we must go through it. The Harrowing is meant for a mage to show that they possess the strength to control their connection to the Fade. The Fade being the source of our power but also a place where Spirits and Demons reside and having a connection to the Fade puts mages at a high risk of becoming possessed by a Demon. When a mage becomes possessed they become a walking abomination, a shadow of their former self. Some Demons twist and distort the mage making them into a monstrosity, others use the physical appearance of the mage to walk among people unnoticed.

The door creaked open and the two Templars stood there in their full armor and faces hidden by ornate helms. One stepped forward and spoke a name as we all sat their holding our breaths.

"Andraste."

I stood up slowly from my seat and walked to the door. My classmates all watching me as I went. We walked in silence. Neither of these Templars were Kieran and I didn't expect them to share his same kindness. To me the hallways of the Circle seemed longer and much smaller than I remembered as I followed the Templars. I don't remember the windows being covered by long flowing red drapes either. We must have reached our destination since they stopped at a large wooden door and both grabbed onto a handle and swung the large doors open. My curiosity took hold and I stepped into the room.

Empty.

The room was completely and utterly empty and when I turned to ask the Templars that escorted me what was going on the door was gone. It was as if there was never a door there. Peeling wallpaper lined the whole room and it was dimly lit by a single window. I rushed to the window and looked out. Outside the window were darkly colored clouds and the sky was a sickly color green. Which filled the room with its strange green light. I looked away from the window and back at the room. The double doors were back.

I walked the stretch of the room and reached for the door handles. The doors lead to a long dark corridor. It had the similar tan paisley rug that lined the Circle's halls. But there were no windows where there should be and the faint green light that was in the empty room. I walked a few paces forward toward the darkness. Putting my hand forward I cast a light spell to help me navigate. The soft light of the blue orb seemed to dissipate the green light.

"Hello?" I called out.

That's when I heard footsteps. The same kind of footsteps the Templars made as they walked the hallways. I ran toward the source of the sound and saw the silhouette of an armored Templar walking away from me.

My heart raced as the Templar turned around. He wore the same ornate helmet that the two Templars had on that lead me to the empty room. Slowly he reached up and started to remove the helmet. The beating of my heart seemed to echo throughout the hall. I focused on the helmet as it softly came off the Templar's head and was carelessly tossed aside. There he stood with his shaggy black hair and charming smile. The scar on his right cheek that trailed to his lips.

"Kieran, thank the Maker it's you." I said as I walked closer to him. He turned away and started to walk down the hall away from me. The red Templar cloak behind him taunting me forward. "Wait! Where are you going?"

Even though he was walking slowly it seemed as if I would never catch up. He was always a few steps ahead of me even when I ran. The sound of my heartbeat intensified. I saw another set of double doors in front of Kieran and he pushed them open. Green light poured out from the door and I had to shield my eyes. As I lowered my arm I saw that we were no longer in a hallway. I stood upon what looked to be a cloud, and pieces of hallway, door, and furniture floated above my head. Statues of Templars and mages also were a part of the debris. However at closer inspection they weren't statues, there were real people floating in the sky.

The realization came crashing down, this was the Fade. I was in the Fade. How did I get here? How did Kieran get here? Panic struck me as my heart raced. I sank to my knees as I watched large crumbled buildings float above my head.

"Andraste," Said Kieran. Although it wasn't his voice. "What an ugly name. You are but a shadow of the woman who came before."

"Kieran?" I questioned once again although the feeling in my gut indicated to me that this was not my friend.

"I just wear this man's face, foolish child. Much like you wear that name," Said Imposter Kieran as it walked closer to where I sat. "Usually I would go through the song and dance of tricking you mortals into taking my deal. But I'm bored of that. I want to do something different." Demon Kieran pulled his steel sword from its sheath. "Fight me, mage. Kill this man you call 'friend'."

"No!" I cried out. They never taught us much on the Fade, other than it was a dangerous place for mages since it makes them more vulnerable to possession. Could hurting this demon also hurt Kieran too? I wasn't sure but I did not want to take that risk.

Before I had any time to react the demon rushed at me with sword in hand. However, he grabbed me with his free hand forcing me to look down the edge of the cloud. Below was a circular room with six armored figures surrounding two figures in the center. One of center figures was laying on the ground the other stood above holding something.

"That's you and your friend down there. He is ready to cut you down if you fail." The demon spoke as he held my neck forcing me to look. "Oh I know all about this ritual you call the Harrowing." He said with a smile.

Tears welled in my eyes blurring my vision from the sight. Kieran had said Templars are part of the ritual. Could he really be standing over my body with a sword? Would he really kill me? I struggled against the demon's hold and he let go easily. His sick laughter echoed through space.

"Templars kill mages." He laughed. "Your Templar has killed a mage, did he tell you that?"

I nodded pathetically as I sat on the clouds surface. Kieran told me he had killed a mage and I knew it pained him. I wiped away my tears and stood back up ready to face the demon since his words could not trick me.

"Did he tell you the mage was just a boy? I can see from your shocked expression he did not. A little boy gave him that scar. A small and scared boy's life was ended because your 'friend' stabbed him with this sword." The demon moved the sword in his hand. "Just like I will kill you here if you do not fight me. And he will surely kill you there."

Kieran never said the mage was a child, but I never asked. I was shaken by the added detail but I did not see any cruelty in his eyes when he came to me that one night. Kieran was not like other Templars and I could not let this demon poison my mind against him.

"Kieran would not hurt me. I trust my friend, demon. Your words will not persuade me otherwise."

Since I seemed to be directly in the Fade, magic came readily to me. We've had lessons on combat but never any real practice. I remember we learned to cast a defensive spell before any offensive spells. I cast a spirit barrier as demon Kieran let out a sick roar and charged at me again. This time he came crashing into me. The spell shielded the blow but the barrier broke like glass.

"Fight me!" bellowed the demon. "FIGHT ME!" The mask of Kieran started to slip away during the demon's yelling but was quickly held back in place as the demon swung the sword carelessly around. It kept taunting me to fight but there was no way I would harm the demon since I was still afraid it would cause real harm to Kieran.

"I will not hurt my friend, demon! No matter what you say about him. He is a good person and I know it in my heart." I shouted my fisted balled up and shaking.

I concentrated on summoning a spirit weapon. A glass shield formed on my arm and I held it out as the demon's swing came closer to me, the blade crashing on to the shield. I held tight as the demon swung a second time on the shield. As he pressed against the shield I pushed back trying to push him away. That caught the demon off guard and he stumbled backwards. I wasn't sure how long I could defend myself against the demon's attack and I was starting to fear that I would die here in the Fade.

Anger distorted fake Kieran's face. "I will kill you!"

With that exclamation the façade of Kieran's appearance melted away revealing the demon's true form. The demon towered over me, its body made of molten lava that dripped as it moved. There were no complex facial features, but the demon did possess what looked like eyes and a mouth.

"This game ends. Now!" Lava rained down around me as the Rage Demon shouted.

Now that the demon revealed its true self I felt I had the confidence to battle it without harming Kieran. Taking a defensive stance I recast a barrier and let the spirit shield fade away. As the demon glided toward me I started to concentrate on the spell, Winter's Grasp. From my hand frost surged forward freezing the Rage Demon in place.

"Your puny spells will not hold me, mage. The Fade is my realm. You have no real power here!" The frost spell that built up around the base of the Demon shattered and he continued to glide toward where I stood.

It dawned on me after the Demon's outburst. Of course my magic would do no real damage to the demon, the Fade was like a dream world. During a lesson on the Fade we learned that the Fade has no true form, that the beings residing in it form its appearance and can change it at will. Which explains why much of environment was made up of pieces of the Circle and Chantry. I must clear my mind of any thoughts or memories that would fuel the Fade. I closed my eyes as the Rage Demon encroached on me.

The sensation of falling through the air overtook me but I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on relaxing. I recited lines from the Chant of Light as I fell.

Here lies the abyss, the well of all souls.

From these emerald waters doth life begin anew.

Come to me, child, and I shall embrace you.

In my arms lies Eternity

And silence and peace is what I found as a bright light enveloped me.

I awoke with a gasp of air and realized I had been laying on my bed. Taking a deep breath of relief that I wasn't stuck in the Fade. Slowly I moved off my bed and I ran my fingers along the books that were haphazardly laying on my desk. I came upon a beautifully decorated miniature chest that wasn't there before. I paused, a moment of dread that I was still dreaming. Opening the chest revealed a neatly folded letter and under it a silver ring with a blue gem in the center.

Congratulations,

Andraste you have passed your Harrowing. As a sign of your passing we have placed a lyrium ring in this chest. Wear it proudly as you walk the halls of the Circle of Magi.

Sincerely,

First Enchanter Edmonde

I set the letter aside on my desk and picked up the ring. Lyrium is a crystal that is crushed into a powder which is used to make mana potions that fuel our magic abilities. I've never seen it in this form. So beautiful as it shimmers in the light. I could also feel a slight magical pull as I held the ring between my fingers.

"Put it on."

I spun around quickly almost dropping the ring. There in the doorway stood Kieran, the real Kieran. He looked as though he had been through the same experience as I in the Fade. I slipped on the ring and admired it on my finger.

"Maker's Breath! Am I glad to see you."

He entered my room and put his hands on my shoulders. He sighed as he spoke, "During the Harrowing a Templar not involved with the ritual holds a sword out, ready to strike the apprentice if they became an abomination."

"But when I entered the room it was empty," I said as I remembered walking down the corridor and entering the strange room.

"Your Harrowing started as soon as you walked between the two Templars." He gripped my shoulders a little tighter. "It took a little longer than usual. I was so afraid."

"What happens if a Harrowing goes too long, Kieran?"

He stood in silence.

"Kieran?"

"The Templar kills the apprentice."

We both stood there, his hands on my shoulders. I moved to wrap my arms around his waist as he shifted so that I was pressed gently to his armored chest.

"I wouldn't have been able to do it. I—I—" He stuttered.

"I know."