Evolution II
A Parody
Category - Parody
Rating - K
Summary - Here is yet further proof that I am out of my everlovin' mind. EVERY time I watch this episode, this voice in my head tells the story that sounds a lot like high adventure middle English. I blame that particular voice on David and Leigh Eddings. If you haven't read their stuff, go right now and do so. This voice sounds a lot like Mandorallen might sound like.
The mighty warrior, Daniel, knew he was in trouble. He was captured by evil forces that were determined to keep him from his quest. The warrior, Daniel saw the evilness of his captor and prayed.
The great god Hammond lived in the depths of a great mountain. He heard his beloved son Daniel's prayers and he called upon his avenging angel Jack. The angel Jack, too felt great love for the warrior Daniel. When he heard of Daniel's capture, Jack's anger grew at the audacity of the demon Rafael. Jack petitioned the great god Hammond. "Please, allow me to chastise this Rafael. All shall learn that Daniel is beloved by you and by all the forces of good. Generations shall tremble when they speak of his death."
Hammond's eyes glowed with holy fire and righteous anger. "It shall be even as you say, my son."
Daniel's tormentor continued in his mistreatment of him. The demon Rafael told him over and over that there would be no help. Daniel, however, knew that there was indeed hope. He had his very own guardian angels. The god Hammond would hear his prayers and send an angel to free him. Daniel was more interested in who Hammond would send. Would he send the dark angel of death that was known as Teal'c? The angel of pure light Sam? Or would he send the avenging angel known as Jack. Daniel had known for the last eight years that whenever he was in great trouble, one of the angels would be there to aid him in his endeavors.
And so, Hammond's avenging angel Jack swept down the mountain to the land where the warrior Daniel was being imprisoned and tortured. There he met the fallen angel Burke. Burke for whom he had once held great love until sad misunderstanding and stubborn pride had caused a great rift. Burke was anxious to close the chasm that separated him from the angel Jack. He too hoped that if the angel Jack saw his willingness to aid the warrior Daniel hand earn his forgiveness then the great god Hammond would also hear his pleas and grant him rest.
Day and night the two angels tracked the warrior Daniel across the wind through dense jungle and past savage creatures. Until finally, they heard a fierce battle taking place in the forest. The angel Jack knew, not for the first time, fear for the beloved warrior Daniel. He came upon Daniel running for his life for he had been tortured and feared death would come soon. The angel Jack then took his mighty sword of light and thunder and smote the demon Rafael and his lesser demons. Yet there was one lesser demon who refused to die. In a madness, this lesser demon tried to attack the warrior Daniel and the angel Jack from his hiding place. The angel Burke, however, was more wary of the demons and saw the cowardly attack. He was granted one of the great god Hammond's special favors and held a weapon as no other. With this miraculous weapon, the angel Burke sent the lesser demon and all others to the darkest abyss.
The warrior Daniel then completed his quest and everybody beloved by the great god Hammond and the avenging angel Jack was safe and happy.
Until the next quest.
A/N - Reviews are as good as ice cream sundaes. So please review. PLEASE!