Autumn Leaves
Another day, another life, Passes by, just like mine,
It's not complicated, Another mind, another soul,
Another body to grow old, It's not complicated.
Do you ever get a feeling of emptiness? A feeling that there should be someone with you, in your arms, sleeping, without a care in the world. A feeing that doesn't seem to fade no matter how much you smile or laugh. A feeling that the person, who means everything to you, hates you? I get that. I've been feeling like this ever since the war. Alfred was a part of me. He always was. His smile in the morning or the last hug at night before he rested was what gave me hope. Without that, I'm nothing.
Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
And hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And you're miles away
And yesterday you were here with me
The warm atmosphere in the Alfred's bedroom was enough to make you tired. It was late. I had just finished telling him stories. Stories of pirates, princesses, dragons, knights in shining armour and fairies. He loved them. We used to stay up for hours on summer nights and I'd make up so many tales. Sometimes he told me a story. They were often made up on the spot and jumbled up but he had a wild imagination. I stood up and tucked him in. He looked so peaceful. His eyes were shut so I assumed he was asleep. Without breathing a word, I stood up and made my way for the door. "Arthur?" His small voice made me jump slightly, but I smiled and turned to look at him. A pair of large and curious blue eyes stared back at me. So he wasn't asleep after all.
"Yes?" I responded.
"What does 'freedom' mean?"
I smiled sadly. It was a strange question for a young child such as Alfred.
"It means no one is in charge of you. No one can boss you about. You can do whatever you like. It means you're free."
Alfred smiled and closed his eyes. "I want to be free."
Another tear, another cry
Another place for us to die
It's not complicated
Another love that's gone to waste
Another light lost from your face
It's complicated
I don't tell Alfred stories anymore. He's all grown up. I'm proud of him. He's so strong, so powerful, and so free. I wish he was young again though. Just for one day. Just so I can have long walks with him, give him piggyback rides, teach him things he never knew. I miss those things. They're gone now though, aren't they? I'll never get them back. All I have now are the black and white framed memories in his old bedroom.
Is it that it's over or do birds still sing for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
And hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And you're miles away
And yesterday you were here with me
"Hey Britain! All I want is my freedom!" Cold rain showered over me and Alfred. My red uniform clung to my skin and my blonde hair was now damp and limp. "I am no longer a child, nor your little brother! From now on, consider me independent!" That word. That one word. Independent. He wanted it. So badly. He wanted to be free so desperately. Silence grew between us. I was lost for words. I didn't want him to go. If he left, I would be by myself. My thoughts were everywhere. I couldn't let him go. I just couldn't. I charged forward at him, my gun pointed straight at him. Was I really going to do this to the brother I had raised? He was almost as tall as me. That's the thing I noticed when I ran up to him with my gun. He was growing up so fast..
Ooh how I miss you
My symphony played the song that carried you out
Ooh how I miss you
And I, I miss you and I wish you'd stay
My gun collided with his and his only weapon flew through the air and on to the wet, muddy terrain. I glared at him for what seemed like forever. He still had those large, curious blue eyes. My gun was pointed at him. I could have killed him. My chance was right there. Pull the trigger and go home. I thought. Go ahead.
"I won't allow it. You idiot! Why don't you follow anything through to the end?" That's that harshest thing I ever said to Alfred. It stung so much when I said it; I can't imagine how he must have felt to of heard it.
"Ready. Aim" The American army all pointed their guns at me. If I shot Alfred, I would die too. I panted heavily. No, I can't shot him. He's my brother.
"There's no way I can shot you. I can't." I threw my gun to the ground. "Why? Dammit why? It's not fair." My knees couldn't hold me up anymore and I collapsed to the ground with my face in my hands, hiding my tears.
"You know why. What happened? You were so great…"
Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
And hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And you're miles away
And yesterday you were here with me
I miss him so much. Every night I would look at the photograph of him smiling. His large, round, curious blue eyes and his smile which would brighten a room up within seconds. That's the Alfred I want to remember. I don't want to know the new Alfred and he doesn't want to know me.
Stay now
And we'll live forever now