One Crazy Friendship.
{A/N: This is the one-shot where Nikolai and Tigress become best friends and start fighting crime that they come across. Tigress and Nikolai were just walking through the woods,
when they came across Caru-Estron and Nan-Zi, two of the world's most dangerous leopards.}
Nan-Zi and Caru were winning the fight because they had already knocked th fight out of Nikolai, and Tigress got a couple of hard knocks
Caru: This is bullshit, I expected a real fight! Especially coming from one who is part of the Furious 5!
Caru and Nan-Zi High fived.
Tigress helped up Nikolai.
Nikolai: You look like shit.
Tigress had blood all over her face, but Nikolai wasn't much better.
Nikolai: You should regain your health.
Tigress: Huh?
Nikolai: Get something to eat or drink.
Tigress: Nikolai, we don't have food on us.
Nikolai: I've got vodka.
Tigress: No!
Nikolai: It works just like any drink as long as you don't drink too much, besides I know you've wanted to drink vodka before!
Tigress:...Give me the goddamn vodka! {Swipes bottle from Nikolai}
Tigress Takes a small swig of vodka.
Nikolai: See! Works doesn't it?!
Tigress stared at the bottle for a couple of more seconds and then swiftly drunk down the whole bottle of vodka in 3 seconds.
Nikolai: Woah, shit!
Tigress took 2 more bottles from Nikolai's Vodka Pouch and drowned those down in 10 seconds.
Nikolai: Uhh... That's WAY too much for a beginner.
Tigress slammed down both vodka bottles and smiled, her cheeks were blushed red, she had a sly smile, and she was staggering all over the place.
Tigress: {After staggering all over the place, BARELY does a correct kung fu stance.} Come at meh...{Burp}...Brah!
Nan-Zi tried to punch her but Tigress was way faster now that she was drunk, she within 2 seconds Deflected Nan-Zi's punch, flipped and kicked him right in the stomach.
Nan-Zi: Ohh...Its on now, Bitch!
Nan-Zi Grabbed Tigress's throat and tried to strangle her but Nikolai broke his hand and threw him to the ground.
Tigress Jumped on Nan-Zi and pointed in his face
Tigress: An That's why u don't fuk with Masta Ti...
Tigress tried to finish her sentence but that vodka along with her food, came up her throat.
Tigress: {Puff cheeked} Oh no...
Tigress then threw up all over Nan-Zi's face
Tigress got up.
Nan-Zi: EW! ITS ALL IN MY...
At that, Nan-Zi threw up all over the place.
Tigress was laughing and swinging her arms all over the place after she got up.
Tigress: HAHAHAHAAAA! {Gasp} You luk so funneh!
Caru rolled forward.
Caru: HOW DARE YOU!
Tigress: Nooooo...{Burp!}...How dare you, good sir...how dare you for...Uhhhh...Wait...Wut?
Caru tried to do a jump kick but, Tigress caught his foot and started swinging him around like a throwable weight
Tigress: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
But, suddenly Tigress stopped, she had that funny feeling in her stomach again.
Tigress: Whoops...Blaaaargh!
Tigress had just thrown up all over Caru but, Caru just shook it off the best he could and got up.
Caru: Don't expect to shake me off that easily!
Tigress: Sorreh...Mai belly must not be handle vodka...
Tigress then passed out.
Caru: Hmm...Your not fit for this job, you stupid bitch!
Nikolai tried to shoot Caru but, Caru saw what Nikolai attempted to do and threw a big stone at his shin, knocking him down.
Nikolai: Arrrrrggh!
Nikolai could not get up, he felt paralyzed.
He looked at the stone and saw it had veins running through it.
Tigress: ZZZZZZZ...
Caru: Hpmh...
Caru pulled out his katana and raised it up.
He tried to slice Tigress in half, but Tigress moved out of the katana's way, still passed out.
Caru tried to do it a few more times but still, Tigress moved out-of-the-way. Then, Tigress woke up and grabbed the katana with her legs and disarmed him.
She jumped up and started staggering around again.
Tigress: You bastard...I was takin a NAP!
Tigress then started punching him, 50 punches every 10 seconds.
After so many minutes of that, Caru fell down, near death.
Tigress did the drunken version of her victory stance.
Tigress: Woo! You 2 will go tu prison tomarrow, and becum sumone's...
Tigress got close to Caru's face for this.
Tigress:...BITCH!
Tigress started laughing hysterically, but noticed Nikolai, unconscious.
Tigress picked up Nikolai
Tigress: Cum on, Nikki...Wake up.
Tigress slapped Nikolai in the face.
Nikolai; I'M UP NOW, FATHER!
Nikolai then noticed it was just Tigress, with that stupid, drunken smirk on her face.
Nikolai: Remember, your still a beginner when it comes to drinking.
Tigress: Whatevah...
Nikolai and Tigress started walking home
Nikolai: We have had enough fun for one day.
Tigress: Awwww...But, I jus gotten started.