After his mom died, Dean decided that he would be the Sammy's second parent. Or first. John lost all right he had to be his father the moment he picked up the whisky and didn't put it down. He was never violent like the alcoholics on TV, and for that, Dean was grateful. Over the years of his life Dean had taught Sam the important things about life, including the fact that you never lend out a pencil or pen in school unless you get some sort of collateral in return, and that you never, ever, try to fight an unwinnable battle. That second one was more of a guideline that even Dean himself didn't follow.

From the time he was four until he turned seven, Dean had been taking on the Sammy situation alone, but then a good friend moved in down the street. The Novak family didn't talk to anyone for the first week they lived in the old tan house, and their son, Castiel, definitely didn't talk to anyone, or show his face for that matter. But once school started, the Novak and the Winchester soon became good friends. Cas (he'd gained the nickname from the first time Dean and him had a conversation) helped Dean raise Sam, teaching the kid important things besides cars and guns, like art and languages. Before anyone knew it, the Winchester and Novak family were closer than any other neighbors in existence.

And before Dean knew it he was in love with his best friend.

Of course he had never planned for it to happen, but when the timing's right, the timing's right. He would never tell Cas anything about what he felt, it would completely ruin their friendship, and their futures. Cas was a fancy-schmancy banker, making a good six figure salary and Dean was on his way to owning his own auto-mechanic business in a couple of years. Plus Castiel was about to get married.

Or at least that's what Dean gathered from the cheers and the pats on the back. Sam wrapped his arm under Dean's and tugged him to his feet. "Smile, he's your friend." Dean let his lips curl up and display his teeth in a forced, yet soft smile. Exactly when Sam figured out that Dean was

'crushing' on Castiel, the older Winchester had no idea, but he knew, and he helped Dean keep it a secret. Even if he didn't agree that with Dean shoving his feelings down and brushing them under the rug. Sam was right though, Cas was his friend, and he should show his support, despite the fact that he didn't like this witch that was hanging off of Castiel's arm.

Her name was Meg, a blonde bimbo who, in different circumstances, probably would've been Dean's sarcastic soulmate, but now with her lips on the ones that Dean himself wanted to claim, he could have nothing but hate for her. "Congratulations Cas, glad to see you finally grew some balls and popped the question." Dean wriggled out of Sam's grip and leaned over to pat Cas on the shoulder. The words were meaningless and everything would've fine. But when Castiel thanked him for his support, he couldn't take it anymore. Politely, he excused himself and walked outside.

Meg had texted them all, asking for everyone to meet at the Roadhouse for a drink. It was supposed to just be friendly gathering, no surprise exclamation of love that would make everyone but Dean happy for the trenchcoat of the group. She wanted everyone to meet at ten at night so it was late enough that the moon was high in the sky and only a few people were left hanging around outside in the cool air. Dean stumbled to his car, not drunk at all, just frustrated and so angry with Meg and himself that he couldn't even see straight. His keys clattered around in his hand and he stopped at his driver door, unlocking it and throwing it open. He plopped down on the seat, closing the door just before resting his head on the steering wheel.

"Fuck!" He punched the wheel. This happened because he was too much of a wimp to say anything. And he continually reassured Castiel that he was happy and in a relationship with a beautiful girl that held his heart like no other. Her name was Lisa and in actuality she was just a good friend of his who he sometimes babysat for. Pretending to be in love with her was an accident. Castiel had introduced Dean to Meg, letting Dean know that he was actually really nervous about introducing the two, considering Dean hadn't dated anyone in years and he didn't want Dean to be jealous of him.

The memory made him laugh like a madman. Jealous of him. If anything Dean was increadoubly jealous of Meg.

Not wanting to make Cas feel bad for just dating some random chick who he'd probably just break up with a week, Dean made up a story about him and Lisa. He'd been good friends with her for a bit and had just started working for her at the time, figuring no harm would come from using her name, Dean made up a story about how he and her had been dating for quite some time and that he was waiting for the right moment to tell the group.

But none of that was real. None of his romantic feelings for Lisa were real. They were all for Cas, for his best friend in the whole world, for the man who once told Sam that the reason why he only watched horror movies with Dean was because they shared a profound bond and Castiel always felt safer with Dean in the room.

Dean had screwed up big time. From the moment he first realized that he loved Cas to every action he made afterwards. He knew that he was never going to tell his friend, that was unacceptable of course, but he could've at least moved on. Yes, moving on would be a smart decision. Step one of course would be coming out to the rest of his friends. Sam of course knew, and Charlie (when she found out that he was gay she had squealed so loud that his ear drums almost started to bleed, then she got excited because Dean being gay meant that they could be gay best friends), and he had once told Jo but she was drunk at the time and he wasn't sure if she still remembered.

"Dammit...god dammit. I'm such a...coward." Running out like that was not only a dumb idea, but a rude one as well. Facing his problems head on had been the Dean Winchester way for most things, so why couldn't he just forget about Cas, considering it was never going to happen, and move on to someone a bit more accessible, like Benny for example, or Balthazar, or hell even Gabriel would be fine with him. Just as long as he could get his mind off of dark hair, gravelly voices, and stupid fucking tan trenchcoats.

His car door opened so quickly it actually startled him and he jumped enough to bang his head on the back of his seat. Sammy was leaning into the car, a pitiful look on his face and a beer in his hand. "One for the road?"

Dean took it gratefully. Normally Sam wouldn't condone the whole drinking and driving thing, but he figured Dean needed it and if things got too out of hand he'd have the other man pull the car over and let him drive. Popping the tab off the bottle Dean took a nice long first swig, nearly emptying the thing and letting out a sigh of relief. "Ya know maybe Cas getting married isn't as bad as I thought it was." He said as Sam climbed into the passenger's seat. "With him getting married it's obvious I have zero chance with him, so maybe I'll stop trying."

"Dean."

The older brother raised his hand, cutting Sammy off. "No, stop. Look, Cas and I are friends. Just friends. God knows he'd never date a man in the first place, so why would he date me?"

"Dean you're starting to sound like a dumb chick flick."

Laughing, Dean shrugged and took another sip from the bottle in his hand. "Ouch Sammy, ouch." He started the engine with one hand and began to pull out of the parking lot. "They let you leave early?

Shrugging, Sam bit at his fingernails. A nervous tick he had gained from years of being asked questions he knew that any answer given would result in yelling. "Well Cas noticed you left and I said that you weren't feeling good and that I should get going to. My excuse was that we had bad Chinese last night...or at least you did."

Dean shook his head. "Damn Sam, think you could convince the guy a little more of what a slob I am?" Seeing Sam shrink into his seat at the comment, Dean playfully punched him in the arm. "I'm just messing with you kid...thanks for the cover."

"Of course."

After his mom died, Dean wasn't sure if he would turn out too good, he especially wasn't sure about Sammy. But on reflection he decided that he and Cas did a good job. Sam was a good guy, and he was about to go off to college for god sakes.

Yeah...Sam had turned out pretty good.

A/N: Ollo readers! I hope you're enjoying this little ficlet of mine, I'm hoping that it'll be a decently long story, so strap in for this ride. How often I update it is a little iffy as I am still in school, with the addition of sports and some AP classes my plate is pretty full...but it shouldn't be too long between chapters.

Anyways, this story has no beta besides myself, so all errors are my own…

Also don't forget us writers feed on reviews...so uh...don't let me starve.

ALSO one more thing that actually does have to do with the story: Do not expect helpful little bro Sam to be around for too long. If you caught it, he IS indeed going off to Stanford in this fic and will have a majority of his appearances over phonecall.

Thank you for reading, and I'll hope to have you stick around for the next chapter!