When the Master entered his TARDIS he was already frowning, in his left hand he was clutching at a paper envelope the contents of which he wasn't sure he wanted to see.
"A letter, TARDIS, I got a letter, and who is the only idiot we know who still writes letters?"
The TARDIS hummed softly, reaching out to her Master, her heat whispered against him.
"Exactly. Why would he be writing to me? You know I don't think I'll even open it… Do you think I should open it?"
The TARDIS took her time in answering, and when she finally did she wasn't being very helpful.
"Perhaps? Thank you, wise words, old girl."
He sat down on the floor and fidgeted until he was right under the control panel, it was with a shaking hand he ripped open the envelope and with one look at the hand writing knew his suspicions had been correct.
" 'Dearest Koschei'… Koschei? Got my name wrong and everything…. 'I'm so sorry it has taken so long to write to you, and I hope any bad feeling between us has passed'… What is he doing?… 'I feel simply awful for what happened and I would like to extend my deepest apologies'…Well then off we go back to Gallifray, Theta has extended his deepest apologies, now we can pick back up where we left off."
The TARDIS thrummed happily and the Master felt a little bad for her, "That was sarcasm again, sorry."
He patted the console and felt her trying to disguise her disappointment, she urged him to go on with reading the letter.
" 'I am writing to you to offer you an invitation to bare witness of my Marriage to…'"
The Master's voice falters and fades and she feels his heartbreak coming out in waves, panicking she tries to send him a rush of warmth but he pushes her back, his mind shut to her but she can hear that once steady drumbeat of his hearts racing in his little chest, that awful melody she has come to despise, da da da dum, da da da dum, and she finds herself wishing not for the first time that she had arms to hold him with, her little lost Time Lord child who hurt so badly.
His eyes are fixed to the page, the word Marriage burning a hole into his mind so he can think of nothing else, only feel the despair from fifty years ago settling back over him.
" 'I hope to see you there, all my love, Theta.'"
His mind was reeling, he put his hands on the floor to steady himself, the letter crumpled easily against his palm and he let the TARDIS wash over him, she felt like a thousand mothers trying to kiss a thousand tears away.
"Well." He said eventually, then silence settled over him once more.
"Well…"
"We are both so glad you could come, thank you."
"Thank you so much, oh you didn't have to-"
The Master can hear Theta's voice before he can see him, it makes his stomach clench with nerves, he stops to look at his refection in a window, then scowls at himself for being so vain.
A couple more steps and turn the corner and he will be face to face with his old friend, it is now or never.
The Master turns the corner.
The shock on Theta's face is priceless, almost worth coming all this way for, his hand is still extended out in front of him to greet his guests but there he stands frozen, with his mouth open and his eyes wide, The Master leans over and pushed his jaw up.
"Koschei?"
"Doctor."
Theta blinks a number of times before gathering his wits and gives the Master one of his illuminating smiles, he steps forward to embrace him, the Master steps back and Theta falters for a moment, the Master enjoys it, rarely had he seen the other man speechless.
"You've regenerated, then?" He finally asks, the Master smirks at Theta's lack of things to say, fifty years apart and this is the best he could do?
"Twice actually, since we last met. Dangerous job, adventuring. You should try it at some point," He looks pointedly at the woman standing not so far away, dressed in light blue, "Though I'll doubt you'll have time for it now, will you?"
The woman turns around to see who her now Husband was greeting, and has the grace to blush and look quickly away, the Master sneered as he remembers the last time he saw her and looks back to Theta, he feels angry when he sees the shame in his eyes.
"I… I never saw you at the ceremony?"
"I was there. At the back. 'to love forever, in this life time and the next'. Strong words. You think you'll be able to keep to them this time?"
Theta looks away, his face burning and the Master feels glad, he hopes this is uncomfortable for Theta, he hopes he feels like there is a thousand needles prickling at the back of his neck. Theta swallows and tries to look back at the Master, but he cannot reach his eyes.
Their awkwardness is broken by the old familiar footsteps of their old Academy circle, the Master hears them call his name but cannot stop his eyes bearing into Theta until he is pushed to the side by the force of his old fellow classmates as they grab him into a fierce embrace.
He cant keep himself from laughing as they chatter to him excitedly, all the formalities of being fully adult Time Lords are swept to the side and its almost like being back at school, just for one blissful moment.
He answers their questions on where he's been and how he is, how he's changed, and then realization seems to dawn on them that this is Koschei, standing beside Theta on his wedding day, fifty years from when they parted ways and they make their excuses and move on.
Theta reaches out for the cuff of The Master's jacket, "Come with me?"
The Master allows himself to be lead away by Theta, into the well maintained gardens and they find a bench to sit on, instinct makes them turn into each other, their knees almost touching, and it horrifies the Master just how normal it feels.
"I'm so sorry, but you left, and I never thought you were going to come back."
"I wasn't going to. But I just had to see this farce of a wedding. What happened, is she with child?"
"I love her." Theta protests feebly.
"And I love jelly babies but I wouldn't settle down with one. She must be an excellent fuck."
"Koschei!"
"That is not who I am anymore, Doctor. I earned my name, please try to remember to use it."
"Alright, Master, fine." Theta runs a hand through his hair, a habit he has had since deciding he would wear it longer than he was comfortable with. "Are you back now? For good?"
"To watch you play domestic? I don't think."
There is a desperation in Theta's eyes, he seems to be panicking, sitting on the edge of the bench he seems anxious to say something, and franticly he looks at the Master, who frowns impatiently.
"Can… Can I come with you?"
The Master tries to control himself for a moment but he cant, he starts to laugh and as he watches Theta's face fall he clutches his sides in mirth, he is unbelievable.
"I'm sorry," The Master manages to say though he is still laughing, "I'm sorry I don't mean to laugh but have you any idea how ridiculous you sound?"
"…I-"
"And what about your lovely wife?"
"I cant stand this, Master! I cant stand being without you, you have always been there and now you're not its breaking my hearts-"
"And what of my hearts, Doctor? What did you think would happen to them after I found out about her?"
"At the time, she was just a mistake, if you hadn't have seen us you would have never known, and I know, I KNOW that doesn't make it right, but when will you see that you are my everything," He was on his knees now, in front of the Master, his fingernails were digging into the Master's thighs, "I am so alone now with out you, we have been inseparable since we were seven years old, please, don't leave me again."
"If I'm not mistaken Doctor, It was you who left me." The Master stands up and dusts down his clothes, as if Theta has made him dirty with his touch, and perhaps he has.
Feelings that he has ignored for half a century swim up from the depths of his memory, he tries to push them back down but its as if they are full of air and they bounce back up unpleasantly.
Theta still on his knees looks up pleadingly, and the Master recalls just how emotionally weaker Theta is, how he can't control or hide his feelings, just lets them bubble up, right to the surface for the whole world to see.
And he is so, so jealous.
"Get up. Get up don't be so pathetic."
"Not until you say I can come."
The Master reaches down and grabs Theta's lapels, dragging him to his feet and looks at him with fury, Theta's eyes are full with unshed tears, Theta cries so much, it used to drive him mad, he always cried over so many stupid things, like getting shouted at by a professor, or if he grazed his knee, or like when his second cousin who he had never meet had died.
"Stop it! Stop crying, you are not a child." He snaps, trying very hard not to hit his former lover.
"I feel like one, I feel-"
"I don't care at all how you feel!" The Master spits, his anger like a saucepan boiling over, and he's about to tell Theta what it is exactly what he feels except he cant speak now because Theta's lips are crashing down on his own and his hands are tangled in the Masters hair and everything about him; his taste, his touch, his smell, feels so desperate and so right…
And in his mind that's how the reunion would go, he would sweep in and Theta would be stunned to silence, he would take the Master somewhere private and he would beg for the Master to take him away from Gallifray and it would once again be as it was, the two of them together, and maybe, just maybe Theta's awful insistent chattering would drown out the drums once more.
But this was only in his mind, just a dream, and he had learned long ago that his mind wasn't to be trusted, and dreams never came true.
finished! Hope you liked, posted this a while back on My LJ but hey thought I'd bung it here too.
reviewses?
El
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