Trigger warnings: Suicide attempt, Overdosing, Self-harm, Mental Illness
Braise, Vapor, Chomper, and Wye are my characters, Elyan and Shin aren't
I dont own pokemon
The low white snow noise coming from the television woke Braise up. One of his ears twitched up and he opened his eyes, feeling them ache from the bright screen light. The delphox glanced around the living room, seeing Elyan and Shin were asleep on either side of him. They had made him stay there with them to watch some movie that Braise hadn't even paid attention to. He fell asleep half way through, but he wasn't sure when the other two nodded off.
The fire psychic type looked from the chestnaught to the greninja slowly, his ears going back down as he began to sit up straight. He was stiff and the room was cold, meaning he was there for quite some time. Braise managed to get up off the couch without disturbing the others and turned to look at them, his eyes lingering on the small gap he made between them. Shin fidgeted a little and Braise tensed up, thinking he might have woke him, but he just leaned over and rested his head against Elyan.
Sighing, the delphox slowly walked away from the couch. He wasn't sure who was home, or where they were, but he didn't want to be between his two friends on the couch so anywhere else would do for him. The house was dark, the blinds closed so not even the moonlight could make its way in, but Braise was in his own home and could walk through it blindfolded. He didn't want to go to his room, he was in there enough nowadays, or even the closet he normally hid in.
After a second he looked up, realizing he had wandered over to the bathroom that was on the first floor. The delphox hesitated before opening the door quietly, not turning the light on, and shut and locked the door behind him and stepped towards the bathtub which he climbed into. Braise slid down the wall of the tub and curled up as best he could on his side, his back to the door. The only noise he could pick up was the slow dripping coming from the sink faucet. No one would should look for him there. At least not for a while.
The dual type pulled his jacket closer and tried to get comfortable, but his mind wouldn't settle. Without Twiggy he had a much harder time concentrating or relaxing, he'd be amazed at how easily he fell asleep with his two friends watching the movie if he wasn't in the mood he was in now. He regretted snapping him, but it was too late for that now.
Braise sighed and his eyes moved up to the open screen window above the shower head before they trailed back down. He was certain he wasn't going back to sleep. Something caught his eye on the other end of the tub and he slowly sat back up to see what it was. The delphox recognized what it was once he got a better look at it. Wye's razor. She was the only one in the house who used on in the bath or shower.
Without really thinking, he reached out and grabbed it. He brought it closer to his chest and looked it over, his ear moving slightly as he heard a voice. Braise didn't move his head, he recognized the voice. One of the new spirits who had come and asked for his help a few days ago. His ability to help them had come to a screeching halt when his happiness had done the same, and none of them were pleased with him.
The spirit said something to him again. This time he looked in the direction he heard it, but of course didn't actually see anything.
"I…I said I was sorry…" he whispered, not wanting to wake anyone up. Both his ears moved up and he frowned as he listened to another spirit join in. "No I hadn't meant to…I didn't mean to ignore all of you…" the dual type flattened his ears as he was scolded by the second spirit. "P-Please understand I…" he trailed off and looked down at his hand gripping his teammate's razor.
"W-What do you mean?" Braise stammered, his eyes widening as a few more of the neglected spirits chimed in with what the first was now telling him. "I-I…I don't…" he began to tear up. "I guess…I-I don't want to…burden anyone…anymore…" he grew quieter as he spoke and slowly raised the head of the razor to his mouth with the spirits encouraging him. The delphox bit it hard, cracking the plastic and managing to free the razor part. Braise raised his other hand and spit the plastic out into it before setting it on the edge of the tub, taking the razor out of his mouth next.
He could taste blood in his mouth and he could see dark flecks on the razor. Before he could become concerned, the spirits started edging him on again. Braise started shaking slightly and held the metal between his fingers, using his palm to push his jacket sleeve up. His eyes moved to the door for a second and then back down at his hands. Holding his breath he pressed the sharp edge against his skin, flattening his ears and closing his eyes as he quickly moved it down.
Braise dropped the razor instantly, gasping loudly at how it stung, and pulled his arm against his chest as he whimpered in pain. He shook his head as the spirits insulted him for backing out, able to feel his shoulders shaking now. "I-I'll do it…I'll do it…" he sniffed, feeling his tears starting to run down his cheeks. The delphox slowly stood up, still holding his arm, and stepped out of the tub. He moved over to the sink and opened the medicine cabinet above it, having to look for a second before seeing the bottle of painkillers Vapor kept, the pills Chomper had to take for his eating disorder, and Wye's ADHD's medicine. He grabbed the three bottles and set them on the counter, shutting the cabinet and picking up the water cup by the toothbrushes.
Finally the voices ceased once his hand was on the cup and he filled it with sink water. Braise hesitated before looking at himself in the mirror. Even in the poor light he could see the bags under his eyes. He sighed and looked at the bottles, deciding to start with the painkillers. It took him almost ten minutes to get through the three bottles, but once they were empty he put them in the trash and went back to the bathtub. He sat where he was a few minutes ago and laid back on his side, closing his eyes and waiting.