So, a quick explanation. This story is actually a bunch of little ficlets, each one a different situation with different characters. There will be equal part Canon and AU, and what is posted will really depend on what I feel like writing. Sometimes I may take suggestions, but not usually. This will also be updated fairly randomly, so there may be chapters up anywhere between twice a day and once a month. The entire thing is more for my benefit than anything else, so expect some pretty out-there stories in the future ^^

The beginning of each chapter, there will be a short form to clarify what the minific is, what characters are in it, possible spoilers, and any other information needed. I strongly advise you to read it!

And now, on with the story.

-ND

Minific 1: The Origins of Karkat Bingo

Type/Setting: Canonverse, Meteorstuck

POV: Dave

Mains: Dave, Rose, Kanaya, Terezi, WV, Karkat

Spoilers?: Make sure you've read at least up to Penis Oujia, because it takes place between that and I'M PUTTING YOU ON SPEAKER CRAB. There's not really any spoilers, but it just makes more sense then ^.^

Other Info: N/A

There was only so much shenanigans one coolkid can get into on a meteor without either outside help or several future selves, and since Dave Strider was growing tired of finding dead Daves littered throughout the meteor due to incomplete time loops, he was going to have to settle for the former.

It had started gradually, this blooming idea. After being stuck in a limited area for who-knows-how-long, one tends to notice things about those around them, especially if the things in question happen to be as obvious as a protruding plush proboscis, if said proboscis was covered in neon pink glow-in-the-dark paint and decorated with industrial Christmas lights off the very Krinklefucker itself. Mostly because a certain Shouty McNubs was really loud when he had tantrums.

Seriously, Vantass never even tried to hide the fact that things bothered him. Unlike a certain swagalicious Strider, whenever the rage snake coiled up in his gut, Karkles would flip his shit so hard that it flew off of the meteor, got lost in the Furthest Ring, and slammed right back to the meteor yesterday due to the awkward time/space thing in this place.

And the things he freaked out about were so fucking stupid. The Karkat Tantrums at that point included, but were not limited to: cans, romance, books, cheese, the dark, the light, blood, clothes, the floor, and random lab equipment.

And after a while, the idea sort of hit Dave over the head like a surprise attack of plush-rumped smuppets. Why not milk the theoretical cow that was Karkittiy's temper until that equine was dry and had to be sold at the market for a few magic beans that are probably just weird drugs, in order to keep life on this hunk of rockshit at least mildly interesting?

So Dave had taken the metaphorical cow by its theoretical udders and milked the shit out of that thing.

All it took was a few messages, and in about five minutes (five minutes, twenty-three seconds, and nineteen nanoseconds, to be exact) everyone on the meteor except for the Murderclown and Mr. Nubs himself were conducting a meeting in the center of Cantown.

The small Council sat cross-legged on the floor, careful not to smudge any of the sicknasty chalk drawings. The Mayor made sure of that, as he basically glared at anyone who shifted too much.

"So," Dave declared once everyone had settled in, "time for a meeting. Look at us, being all civil and shit. Who knows, maybe we can last a full ten minutes discussing politics and the town budget before it turns into a goddamn competition to see who can weave the most intricate web of complete bullshit possible by human or trollkind. Even the spiders will be jealous of the sheer beauty of our masterpiece, with the Spiderbitch leading in the ooh-ing and ahh-ing. Actually, how about we step around the horse manure this time instead of wading chin-deep in it, Karkles or the ICP wannabe could fall from the ceiling at any moment."

That was when Rose spoke, saving Dave from his evident nose-dive to dorkish rambling he had been doing much more often lately, sometimes to the point where he was mumbling to himself about inanimate objects. "Dave," she said, with her usual Lalonde-brand snark on her tongue, "Why exactly did you call us down here, and yet did not invite Karkat?"

Terezi seconded this comment with, "Yeah, cool kid, I thought that we agreed that the Cantown meetings would be under the sole purpose of pissing Karkles off. It's a bit stupid to do this without him!"

"Yeah, well," Dave defended, "this is way cooler than ironic town meetings where we discuss the super-important stock value and net worth of each and every can and can-like resident of Cantown. That shit would give, like, ten minutes of amusement. I'm talking about extreme, long-term entertainment here."

It was Kanaya's turn to speak up. She said, "And what might that be?"

With a smirk, Dave uncapchalouged four different sheets, each one already marked in six rows of five boxes, with the top row of squares proudly displaying the word BINGO, with one letter in each box. The center box on each sheet displayed colorful sketches of SBaHJ, and the rest were blank.

Rose raised an eyebrow, while Kanaya and Terezi started at the papers as if they have never seen anything like it in their lives, which they probably haven't.

"So, your solution for 'long-term entertainment' is... a game of Bingo?"

"Ah, but not just any Bingo, my dear sister. We will be playing Karkat Tantrum Bingo."

Dave then called on Terezi, who had her hand raised and her confused face on (seriously, those trolls were talented, they could actually make the :? face). She said, "I like the sound of more tantrums from Karkles, but what's Bingo? It sounds like some kind of weird human food."

"It's only the absolute shit. You write stuff down in these little boxes, and if it happens, you get to cross it off. And you win if you get five in a row."

"Sounds dumb."

"Hell yeah it is. But to make it more exciting, me and the Mayor decided to have some hella sweet rewards. Whoever wins gets to decide what the rest do for an entire month, no complaints, and Mayor even agreed to make the winner honorary Co-Mayor for a day."

Everyone decided to join in on Karkat Tantrum Bingo, more for the former reason than the latter. Except for Dave. He claimed he was doing it for the ironies, but he was actually hoping he'd win so he could be Co-Mayor of Cantown.

Most of them put things that were both oddly specific and vague at the same time, and Dave put things like "chairs" and "butts," mostly because it would be fucking hilarious if he won because Vantass had a rage-seizure over asses or seatery.

For the rest of the trip on the meteor, poor Karkat was more or less stalked at all times, everyone attempting to goad him into screaming, which allowed one step closer to having their activity being the top priority.

Karkat still wasn't sure why Dave suddenly seemed really interested in butts.