1A/N: Half the credit in this very short fic goes to WritingMisery, (the cousin. Be jealous.) she's the one who wrote me an oh-so-pleasant note while we stayed at our grandmother's house...*mutters* ...
Anyway, I felt like I had to do this. Too much of a good time to pass up.
Oh yes.
Btw, this is TOTALLY crack-induced. Major OOC on both Lucius and Draco's part, because Lucius is creepy like that and it's funnier this way.
Staring at the phone in her hand, Machi Jeevas groaned. Three missed calls. In a matter of two hours. Checking the Caller ID, she saw that it was none other than Draco Malfoy. If she didn't want him to hyperventilate, she'd half to call him back pretty soon. Rolling her eyes and pressing the phone up to her ear, the phone at Malfoy's end rang four times, and then there was silence.
"...Hello?" She asked.
"Oh yes." A shaky voice responded. Lucius. It sounded as if he was sitting on a dryer...among other perverted things.
"Is...Draco there?" Machi asked, running a hand through her hair and hoping this was going to be easy.
"Who is this? Who. Who is this? Who is...this?" Lucius asked in the same awkward voice.
"This is Machi. I'm....calling Draco. Your son...?" Machi very much hoped she had made a mistake and dialed the wrong number, and this was a man who only sounded like Lucius.
"Oh yes. My son. Draco."
"...Should I hang up?" Machi asked, considering the thought.
"Oh no! No, no no...no. Oh! oh no...Draco! My son! Steak dinner tonight my son!" Lucius called. Machi sighed, covering her face with her free hand.
"DAD!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Draco could now be heard screaming in the background.
Just take the phone. Please take the phone. Machi thought.
"A lovely young girl is calling you, Draco. She sounds about....13. Living in—" Lucius informed. Machi's eyes widened. What the heck.
"Dad get OFF the phone!! NOW!" Draco wailed.
"Why, Draco, my son? Oh yes...Yes! YES!!" Lucius cried.
"Ugh! Did she happen to mention her name?" Draco asked, irritated.
"Machi, oh YES!!!" Machi sat in silence as there was no noise at the other end of the line. Maybe, she thought, she got lucky, and Lucius hung up.
"WAT?!" Draco screamed suddenly, making Machi jump.
"You spelled it wrong," Lucius informed, a frown in his voice.
"I LOVE MACHI, LIKE, OHMGEE!!!" Draco spazzed in the background.
"....yeah, I'm gonna hang up." Machi said before pressing the small red button on her cell phone.