Wow. You can tell this was written at 3 in the morning with 4 hours sleep the previous night... But try not to be too harsh. Inspired by an incident in my life and a dream.
Austin is my best friend. I love him... Seriously I would die for him but this was just too much. He and Dez, stupidly decided to paint the instruments to 'help' boost sales, all the stock was ruined and I guess mount Allyson just had to erupt at some point. That point was now. "Austin! Why would you do something so... Argh! I can't believe you would do something so... God Austin, why are you so stupid!" it just spewed out of me like hot lava would a volcano, I was bubbling with anger and took a deep breath. Time to see the aftershock.
I had been through a lot with Austin over the 3 years we had been partners, I had taken him to the dentist, doctor, helped when he lost his (imaginary) dog, and several heartbreaks; never had I seen him so broken. I saw tears begin to well up in his eyes and knew that I had crossed the line, desperately I reached out, about to begin endless apologies when he lurched away from my touch. From me.
"No. No Ally. Don't try to pat my arm and say my name in that soothing voice. Don't you DARE try to say sorry when you know that I- Ally, you know that-". He broke off, sucking in a deep lungful of air with his head stooped, and slowly raised his head to look at me, a solitary tear creeping down his face. My heart cracked, and his following words shattered it.
"You know, you were the only person, besides Dez, ok, the only SANE person who never called me that. I have always believed in you and I thought the feeling was mutual. Guess I was wrong... Maybe I really am stupid. Don't worry, I'll leave now - best not be seen with someone as dumb as me."
His chest was heaving by this point, tears flowing freely down his face, everyone was staring now. But I didn't care, I felt sick. Not because of the attention, but because the hurt, anguished expression on his face was caused by me and I loathed myself for it.
It was weeks before he would look at me, 2 months flew past without him saying a single word to me. And I never thought I would be so grateful for being a dork in a school full of bullies.
I was in the middle of a particularly brutal beating when the boy attacking me was suddenly ripped away from me, thrown onto the floor, his friends following. I looked up to see a tall figure standing above me before I passed out.
When I woke, I saw the concerned face of Austin hovering over me, I saw his face light up and a smile wash over his face as I began to sit up. "Welcome back to the world of the living Al." And with that I threw my arms around his neck, ignoring his gurgled sounds of protest, gripping tightly as if my life depended on it; on him forgiving me and coming back into my life. And in some ways, it did. I was alive and would go on that way, I wasn't suicidal but at the moment I was really living, just going through the motions.
He eventually pried me off of him and placed his hand over my mouth, which had been emitting babbling apologies without my conscious thought. I received a sad smile from him and I couldn't help the grin spread over my face as he removed his hand and began to babble himself. I caught very few words, but from what I could make out, trish had explained to him about how sorry I was. I found out that he was so focused on music because he was considered too stupid for anything else. But I didn't need to know anything more and I wondered briefly if I was as ridiculous as this, probably mores so, but that didn't matter as I pressed my lips against his momentarily, earning a shocked and confused expression from him.
"Austin, I had been alive for 16 years before I began to really live, and having you gone felt like I was dying but the pain never stopped. I can't live without you, but I don't think I can stand to deny my feelings anymore. I kind of, accidentally, fell in love with you? Sorry."
I expected outrage, shock, rejection. But wasnt ready for the hearty chuckle he gave in response. Tears pricked my eyes as I pushed away from him and readied myself to leave before he could see my tears; a tug on my arm stopped me, accompanied by a brush of lips against my own. He gave another chuckle as he said "only Ally Dawson would apologise for falling in love with someone!"
The chuckle became a loud, booming laugh. And I couldn't help but join in, only stopping along with my heart when he echoed my sentiments.
