Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or Richard Simmons, original story. You know the drill.
Author's Note: I know Vegeta lost his tail early on, but it seemed to go so I put it in there. I know also that it wouldn't have been dollars, but I didn't know the value of yen. I also know it is kinda a dumb idea. I also don't know much about the Japanese version, only the English. Also I made it a generic retaurant so I could mix up the food a bit. I live in the csouth so we have Generic "Taste of Asia" Buffets. I'm sorry.
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"They call this a buffet!?" Vegeta grumbled. He carefully lifted out one of the containers. "Fried ricegralumph grugleI guessfroomph gurgleit'll dobetter than the woman's cooking. These convenient serving size silver bowls are a nice touch."
Trunks began to reach out toward his father. "What? Brat." Vegeta continued to eat and Trunks started to cry. "WHAT!!?? Cease that annoying crying. You are the son of a Saiyen Prince. Stop it." Trunks continued crying, "HEY!! WAITER!! GET OUT HERE!!" Vegeta bellowed.
Breif mumurs were heard coming from the kitchen. Most likely the men deciding if it would be safer to hide and risk his anger, or just go out and see what he wanted. Finally a shaking man scurried out. "y---y---yes?"
Vegeta pointed at the sobbing Trunks, "Fix him." He then continued eating.
"Wh---wh---what?" the man stuttered.
"I saidFIX HIM!!"
"I don't know." Vegeta grabbed the man by his collar and lifted him into the air. "I mean, I don't know why I didn't help you sooner."
He was politely dropped on his head. The little man (with a name tag reading "Phil". Why his name was Phil and he was working in an all you can eat Japanese/Chinese/Taiwanese buffet well he WAS the one voted to go out and deal with Vegeta) then walked over to Trunks to try and figure out what to do. Luckily he didn't have a dirty diaper (Vegeta already knew what that smelled like). Phil dug through the frilly diaper bag, finally discovering a bottle. He carefully placed it in Trunks outstretched arms. Immediately, Trunks stopped crying and eagerly attacked the bottle, with as much vigor as Vegeta had gone after the fried rice.
"Is that all you have to do? I could get used to this fathering thing. What am I saying!? That is my mate's job. More than Kakarott's eating habits are rubbing off on me." Phil was still crouched down a little behind Trunks. "Are you still here? Well, be useful, get me something to drink!"
"Wha---wha---what would you like?"
"Stop that annoying stuttering. Hmmmm" Vegeta grabbed a menu from the table "how abouttea. Yes some tea would be nice."
"Sugar?"
"Do I look like a SUGAR PERSON TO YOU!?!?" the man only whimpered, "well, okay, one lump. BUT NO MORE"
The man was immediately gone. Seconds later the tea appeared, and the man disappeared again. Vegeta sipped his tea. Well, okay, he didn't sip he did everything but eat the glass, in a dainty Princely way though. Vegeta moved onto the teriyaki chicken, another serving of friend rice, some beef dish, shrimp, and slowly everything began to look the same to him. Occasionally he yelled for some more tea. Trunks continued happily sucking on the bottle before letting it fall and then drifting to sleeps.
Finally, Vegeta wiped his mouth with a napkin, closed his hand around it and incinerated it. Trunks cooed softly. He packed a few leftovers into a take out box, well ten take out boxes.
"I AM eating like Kakarott. The woman SAYS I should go on a diet. Some of the old uniforms aren't fitting right around the middle. Maybe that Richard SimmonsWait, WHAT AM I SAYING. I don't have to answer to anyone, the woman shrunk those in the wash. I'll have to yell at her for that. I'm perfectly fit!" As if to illustrate that point, Vegeta stood up, grabbed Trunks, the diaper bag, and the take out and took off, leaving tables and chairs overturned, and several scared waiters. Phil was no where to be seen.
Once he was soaring again through the skies he wondered what he should do now. The woman might be home by now, but she might be cooking. He shuddered, anything but that. He stopped and floated thinking about what to do. He started mindlessly tossing Trunks in the air and catching him. Trunks was enjoying himself, but there were several frightened air plane passengers who saw a cooing baby flying up past their window and then back down.
He slowly dropped down to street level. Suddenly Trunks started giggling and reaching out.
"What is it Brat!?" Vegeta bellowed. He looked to where Trunks was reaching. "ARGHHHHH!!! NO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT, NO WAY!!!!!"
"I love you, you love me, we're" came from inside a theatre right ahead. A sign read LIVE! BARNEY LOVES EVERYONE, AGAIN!!. More purple than ever Before!!'
"No way Brat. We aren't going in there!" Vegeta started to turn away, and immediately Trunks burst into tears. "Stop it." It didn't work any better than before. Vegeta tried the bottle.
"You mean this thing goes off for more than one reason!" he grumbled when he realized the bottle wouldn't help. He shook Trunks a little, peeked in the diaper, poked him a few times, finally he tried making faces (well, really he raised an eyebrow). Nothing worked. "I don't know what's worse. That #$%^ purple dinosaur or your screeching."
He was about to take off again when he remember Bulma, and "special ingredients". "OH!! ARGHHHH FINE!!! But I never EVER did this, got it Brat!?"
Slowly, Vegeta edged toward the theatre, Trunks stopped crying and began laughing happily. "OH, don't be so cheerful. What kind of a Saiyen are you? BARNEY!? YOU LIKE BARNEY!? No son of mine" He continued mumbling. Finally they reached the ticket booth.
"Two, NOW" Vegeta said calmly.
"That'll be" Vegeta grabbed the tickets that popped up and walked in. "HEY!! You can't do that!! GUARDS!!" He calmly blasted the guards that ran at him and continued in. Trunks was giggling and laughing, clapping his hands. Vegeta was about to face a villain worse than any he had ever facedBarney.
**TO BE CONTINUED**