A/N: I realize I should be working on the last chapter of Acceptance but I posted this to my livejournal earlier today and figured I'd share it over here too. It's mostly a lot about nothing but wanderingsmith and I were feeling a little cold and thought a nice little story with a shirtless Jack might offer a pleasant distraction. If you're suffering from this unbelievably cold winter here in the states too, well this one's for you!
Jack's Last Trip to PC-1113 or Brief Respite
by Remi Craeg
The four members of Earth's elite exploring squad ejected violently from an apparently very unhealthy wormhole. Teal'c and O'Neill were the first to emerge, landing clumsily at the base of the gate's steps, followed by Daniel and his projectile glasses. All three stood in the towering shadow of the gate waiting for Sam to come stumbling out next. Which she did, landing with an undignified grunt against Teal'c's massive frame. The force of her exit caused her to drop the equipment case she was carrying and was now tumbling down the steps, hitting each one, and before coming to a glass-shattering stop at their feet.
"Well, that can't be good," Daniel said, breaking the silence. "You didn't actually need any of that did you?"
Sam gave him a sharp look, "No, Daniel, of course I didn't. I just brought it along for company."
Realizing her mood was not as playful as his, Daniel held out an apologetic hand.
"Carter," O'Neill ordered after scanning their surroundings.
"Already on it, sir," she answered jogging toward the DHD.
"Okay, then. Guess we shouldn't stay long."
"Uh, Jack?" Daniel chanced with his palms between them, an offering of peace.
"What, Daniel."
"Well, I figured since we're stuck for the moment…"
"Go," he barked. The younger man's spirits immediately lifted. "But take Teal'c."
Jack spent the next few minutes walking a small perimeter and assessing the probability of hostile threat. This was SG-1's third trip to this planet, and he hadn't found any evidence of threat the first two times, so he resigned himself to hovering behind his 2IC. She glanced over her shoulder and he shrugged. "Sorry," he muttered.
He walked his perimeter again, venturing closer to the ruins at the bottom of the hill where Daniel and Teal'c currently explored. From this distance, Jack could clearly see the Jaffa's bald head glistening in the sun. Jack made a quick about face and loped back to Carter.
Collapsing onto the grass in the DHD's shadow, he peeled off his sweaty ball cap and ran a hand through his hair. Carter watched him carefully for a moment, smiling at the spikes left in the wake of frustrated hands, before returning to the exposed panel of nonsense in front of her. He sighed, loudly.
"Are you alright, sir? You look a little hot."
"Hot, Carter? It's, what? A hundred twenty degrees out here?"
"More or less," she confirmed without checking her hand-held.
"More or—yes, I'm a little warm." The sun was at the top of a cloudless sky and moved slowly, taking its sweet-ass time to greet the horizon.
"Maybe you should drink more water."
Jack silenced her with a raised canteen. Sam ducked, effectively hiding her smile, and returned again to her assessment of the busted dialing device.
"This shouldn't take more than an hour, sir," he heard her say. Why did he get the idea he was the only miserable one?
*****
Three hours later, Carter was still shoulder-deep in the bowels of the inoperable device. She had yet to offer an amended timetable, despite the embodied displeasure lingering at her side.
"Why don't you check in with Daniel, sir? It's been a while since he…" her voice was muffled by a crystal tray.
"Now you're giving orders, Major?" Jack didn't move, keeping a sticky elbow over his eyes.
Her head popped up suddenly, a sheepish smile on her lips. "No, sir. Sorry, but it has been over an hour."
Jack agreed and blindly felt for his vest. Ten minutes after they realized their return was inconveniently delayed, he'd unclipped his weapon and its sling. To be honest, the vest was doomed from the moment they'd arrived on this celestial sauna and was now exiled to a lonely rock at the foot of the gate.
Sweat dripped over his brow, behind his knees, between his shoulders, and was particularly prone to collecting in the most unpleasant places; the dark cotton of his t-shirt seemingly eating the sun's rays like an underfed pitbull. "You know, I still haven't shoveled my driveway after last week's storm," he said as he groped the ground around him, his energy apparently escaping with each bead of perspiration. "Never thought I'd wish for Colorado in January."
Sam approached him on her knees, stopped at his vest, and gave him the radio with a smile. "It should only be another hour or so."
Jack huffed, "You said that three hours ago."
Sam shrugged, "Sorry, sir."
Jack forced himself to sit up and exposed his face to the sun once more. His eyes locked on hers and a palm squeezed the mic. "Daniel, come in."
"Yes, Jack?"
"How's it going?" A moment of silence followed. Jack figured he was debating how much to tell him. He fully expected the inevitable lecture, but he long ago grew tired of explaining the concept of a sit rep to Daniel.
"There is definitely evidence of Goa'uld occupation on this planet, but it will take more time to work out the details." The words came through static in a sort of ejaculated rush of enthusiasm that Jack had a difficult time ever matching. "Sam already inventoried the storage room and found a number of devices we'll need to take back to the SGC. I was actually thinking: if we could get these tablets removed in one piece it would be much easier to catalogue the findings." The report stopped. Jack wondered absently what, exactly, Daniel was actually doing those first few trips to this planet.
"Daniel," Jack spoke evenly before the other man could continue, "We are leaving in one hour whether you're done or not. Capiche?"
"Sure, Jack."
He wasn't sure if the sarcasm was meant for him or for Carter's arbitrary estimation, but either way the radio remained silent. Jack jerked a thumb in the gate's general direction and asked, "What's wrong with it anyway?"
Sam winced, "Do you really want to know?"
"No," came his instinctual and immediate response. Pausing for a moment, he sighed and nodded his revision.
"Well, sir, simply put: I think there's a problem with the power regulator."
He looked disinterested while she spoke, and considered his clingy shirt. He plucked at it a few times, testing its adhesive properties, then looked up. "That SWAG, Carter?"
dd
She smiled, "Yes, sir. Best I can do at the moment. If I'm right, it shouldn't take much longer. Just needs an adjustment to the crystal—"
"Aht. That's alright, Major. I trust you. I'm just gonna go look for the air conditioned buildings," he said hopping to his feet and clipping his belt back to his hips. "Be back soon," he sang over his shoulder.
Sam chuckled and watched him leave with a P-90 in one hand and canteen in the other. She fleetingly wondered where he was actually going, but assumed he'd rather harass Daniel in person.
*****
Exactly forty-seven minutes later, Carter was proud to report, "Sir, I think I've made the necessary adjustments."
"You mean the damn thing works now?"
"Well, I can't be sure until we try to dial out, but yes, I think so."
"Okay, we'll be right there. Go ahead and dial it up; report in to Hammond."
"Yes, sir."
*****
Carter had just ended a video transmission to the SGC when her team appeared at the bottom of the path that came from Daniel's ancient ruins. Teal'c led, followed closely by Daniel, but her CO was hidden behind their bodies. When the two men reached the edge of the path, they fell out of formation and revealed a very shirtless and very soaked colonel.
"Daniel?" she called out instantly worried. The archeologist shrugged, his expression ostensibly saying don't ask.
"Sir?" she tried when they approached the gate. Jack responded with an irritated grunt.
In the end it was Teal'c that offered an explanation, "Colonel O'Neill located a ceremonial fountain, in which he attempted to escape his discomfort."
Daniel picked up the thread, "and fell ass-up in."
"I so did not." All three of his teammates rose skeptical brows. He glared at Carter, she wasn't even there! Daniel crossed his arms. "Okay, so I may have slipped…"
"Jack, I told you not to go near it. The ground was obviously unstable."
"If it was so obvious, Daniel, why didn't I notice," he defended rhetorically.
Daniel looked like he had an answer to that but Teal'c spoke before he had the chance. "Should we not return to the SGC immediately?"
Sam nodded absently but continued to stare at her CO as she would a four year old. Eventually, she nodded toward the engaged wormhole. "We're cleared to go, sir. So far it's holding steady." Her eyes held a rather insubordinate gleam.
Jack was pretty sure she had something else she'd rather say, but ordered them through the gate without another word.
Despite the rather ungraceful method he'd used to find relief from the oppressive heat, he found himself a little reluctant to return to their winter back on Earth. And as Jack climbed the stone steps leading to the event horizon, it suddenly occurred to him that it was likely he'd be greeting his commanding officer with a lot less clothes on than when he'd left.
Yup, this was gonna be awkward.