If She Only Knew
by JoBelle aka Jodie
Disclaimer: Willow, Xander et al = not mine, I just play with them occasionally *S*
If She Only Knew isn't mine either it belongs to 98 Degrees and whoever else that is not me *S*
Spoilers: Season 3
Feedback: Please oh please oh please R&R!!!
Author's notes: Song lyrics denotated by //
This is set during "The Prom" in season 3, I apologize if anything seems a little iffy, I haven't seen this epsiode or most of season 3 for that matter so bear with me please *S*
Xander Harris stood miserably on one side of the overly decorated gym, absently sipping punch and listening to his date, the ex-vengeance demon, babble incessantly the words going in his right ear and out the left, his gaze fixated on the red-haired witch in the arms of the guitarist/werewolf across the dance floor.
"Xander, Xander!'' a voice exclaimed insistently, trying to bring him out of his trance
"Yeah!'' he replied finally snapping back into reality.
" I want to dance." Anya said with a pout, pulling him away from the refreshment table.
Xander heaved a sigh and allowed himself to be pulled onto the dance floor, Anya stepped up to him and he put his arms around her, his gaze never leaving the back of willows head. They moved on the floor Xander shifting automatically so that he was always facing Willow, the only time his eyes left her was when Cordelia danced past him in Wesley's arms looking as gorgeous as ever in the dress that cost half his road trip money but was worth every penny. He had met her eyes and offered a smile, which she returned a little more slowly than his own, but it was still there and it was progress. That was the one good thing the evening had brought and as the next song's opening strains began to play, Xander could tell it was going to take a turn for the worst.
He recognized the beginning of "If She Only Knew'' from the 98 Degrees CD Buffy had left over at his house after a tutoring session that he never remembered to return. Yes that's right Buffy had been tutoring him yet it wasn't as much of the blind leading the blind as one might have thought. Willow did good work with Buffy and since it was no longer acceptable for him and her to be in the same room in close proximity, Buffy was the next best thing.
//If she only knew, what I knew but could not say
Xander cursed the D.J and wondered if the idiot knew that this was a prom! A place for happy music!
Not music that dredged up every single thought that he didn't want to be thinking about at this very moment.
//If she could just see, the part of me that I hid away…
Yes, shocker of all shockers there was a part of him that Willow didn't know about. The part of him that loved her beyond belief, the part that yearned for her and only her,
//If I could just hold her in my arms again and just say I love you…
The part that wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and tell her that he loved her more than anything, to chose him over Oz to hell with everyone else and kiss her senseless. The part that still wanted to do that. But he couldn't do that because she was back with Oz who was so much better for her than he could ever be. The knowledge of this however, didn't obliterate the ache of his heart whenever he saw her or thought of her or breathed.
And so Xander watched her from across the room and wished them well and hoped that Oz treated her like the priceless thing that she was, and knew he did. So he stayed silent, loving her from afar knowing he could never be the one holding her and loving her but happy though it was killing him.
//Oh God how I wish that she knew…
by JoBelle aka Jodie
Disclaimer: Willow, Xander et al = not mine, I just play with them occasionally *S*
If She Only Knew isn't mine either it belongs to 98 Degrees and whoever else that is not me *S*
Spoilers: Season 3
Feedback: Please oh please oh please R&R!!!
Author's notes: Song lyrics denotated by //
This is set during "The Prom" in season 3, I apologize if anything seems a little iffy, I haven't seen this epsiode or most of season 3 for that matter so bear with me please *S*
Xander Harris stood miserably on one side of the overly decorated gym, absently sipping punch and listening to his date, the ex-vengeance demon, babble incessantly the words going in his right ear and out the left, his gaze fixated on the red-haired witch in the arms of the guitarist/werewolf across the dance floor.
"Xander, Xander!'' a voice exclaimed insistently, trying to bring him out of his trance
"Yeah!'' he replied finally snapping back into reality.
" I want to dance." Anya said with a pout, pulling him away from the refreshment table.
Xander heaved a sigh and allowed himself to be pulled onto the dance floor, Anya stepped up to him and he put his arms around her, his gaze never leaving the back of willows head. They moved on the floor Xander shifting automatically so that he was always facing Willow, the only time his eyes left her was when Cordelia danced past him in Wesley's arms looking as gorgeous as ever in the dress that cost half his road trip money but was worth every penny. He had met her eyes and offered a smile, which she returned a little more slowly than his own, but it was still there and it was progress. That was the one good thing the evening had brought and as the next song's opening strains began to play, Xander could tell it was going to take a turn for the worst.
He recognized the beginning of "If She Only Knew'' from the 98 Degrees CD Buffy had left over at his house after a tutoring session that he never remembered to return. Yes that's right Buffy had been tutoring him yet it wasn't as much of the blind leading the blind as one might have thought. Willow did good work with Buffy and since it was no longer acceptable for him and her to be in the same room in close proximity, Buffy was the next best thing.
//If she only knew, what I knew but could not say
Xander cursed the D.J and wondered if the idiot knew that this was a prom! A place for happy music!
Not music that dredged up every single thought that he didn't want to be thinking about at this very moment.
//If she could just see, the part of me that I hid away…
Yes, shocker of all shockers there was a part of him that Willow didn't know about. The part of him that loved her beyond belief, the part that yearned for her and only her,
//If I could just hold her in my arms again and just say I love you…
The part that wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and tell her that he loved her more than anything, to chose him over Oz to hell with everyone else and kiss her senseless. The part that still wanted to do that. But he couldn't do that because she was back with Oz who was so much better for her than he could ever be. The knowledge of this however, didn't obliterate the ache of his heart whenever he saw her or thought of her or breathed.
And so Xander watched her from across the room and wished them well and hoped that Oz treated her like the priceless thing that she was, and knew he did. So he stayed silent, loving her from afar knowing he could never be the one holding her and loving her but happy though it was killing him.
//Oh God how I wish that she knew…