Thanx for reading, now go on, and you'll find out what this is all about.
"How long does the stump sleep?" Neal asked. "One full Knight!" Neal answered himself. "Get it? Knight? Night?" He and Khari cracked up. Their companions stared at them strangely.
"What?" Khari muttered, "It was funny!" This earned her odd looks.
"Mithros!" Cleon exclaimed. "I'm so bored!"
"You'd think we could find something to do, with a free day." Merric complained.
"I'm so hot!" Yuki replied, "I can barely lift a shukusen!"
"And Rhk' sl is out of the question." Khari added. Shinkokami nodded sleepily, her head against Roalds' shoulder.
"Is Kel back?" Cleon asked.
"Yep! Here she comes!" Kel came towards them at a half trot, a strange device under her arm.
"Lads!" She called "Look what I found!" It was a terribly misplaced and battered Macintosh I book, which wasn't supposed to be invented for another thousand years or so.
"What is it?" Seaver asked.
"Wow! Owen exclaimed, "Such a Jolly color!"
"Strange." Khari commented. "Master Numair must be chanting again."
Suddenly...
THEIVES! A voice cried out IWAN'T MY LAPTOP BACK! YOU SHALL PAY FOR TAKING IT!
A flash of light, and the gang disappeared. The dumbstruck chickens that appeared in their place squawked once and spontaneously combusted. Somewhere in the boondocks of Galla, a farmer discovered them and started his own chain of restaurants, which he called the Gallan Fried Chicken.
"Where are we?" Kel asked, pulling Cleon to his feet. Neal and the others got up around her.
IN MY LAPTOOP! The voice boomed
"Who are you?" Faleron called out, keeping a tight hold on Khari.
AHHH...FALERON, MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. (NEAL NOT INCLUDING) I SHALL GRACE YOU WITH AN ANSWER. I AM...(pause)...I AM FAKLFJAKFAIEWORIOWPEOIA...BUT YOU CAN CALL ME THE RULER OF THE UNIVERSE...YES THAT WOULD BE FINE.
"Now look here Ruler of the Universe..." Merric began.
THAT'S MISS RULER OF THE UNIVERSE TO YOU!"
(Offstage voice: ...get to the point)
Fast Forwards to a later part...
Owen is cowering on the floor
"Yahh! This isn't Jolly!"
"Kourin!" A second voice warns.
"BUT...I like this part!"
"Would you like some cheese with that wine? (Copy-righted by my friend...)
Grumbling is heard in the background.
MORE Fast Forwarding
Kel is reading as words magically appear in the...thin air.
"Welcome to the first annual FF.N Tamora Pierce Fanfiction contest...What's fanfiction?"
FANFICTION IS WHERE WE HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR ACTIONS!!!!! (Evil laughter in the background)
(In the background: "What's a Tamora Pierce?" Owen asked.
"Oh shut it Owen." Khari replied. "It's obviously a horses name!"
I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER CREATED YOU...)
Anyways...
"You are one sick and twisted individual!" Neal yelled. 'What a sick mind!"
OH REALLY? I HAVE A SICK MIND?
New words begin to appear...
"Roses are red,
Violets are purple.
When I think of me, you, and a bed...
My heart goes urple...
Neal's face turned purple
I think you're cute,
You think I'm a fruit frute fruit
"Where'd you get t-that?" Neal stuttered.
YOUR ROOM
You wear long skirts, so I'm out of luck,
But seriously, I think we should...
"Nooooooo!" Neal yelled, and ran to block the screen.
HEH HEH HEH......
Yuki advanced on Neal...
"Who was that to?"
Neal whimpered, and Yuki dragged him off for punishment. Screams are heard in the background
"You, You are evil!" Owen cried.
NOW OWEN, THAT ISN'T JOLLY NOW, IS IT? ESPECIALLY SINCE I KNOW WHERE MR. POOH BEAR IS!
"No!" Owen sobbed, "Leave Mr. Pooh Bear out of this!"
OH, I WILL, AFTER ALL, I CREATED HIM. BUT YOU WOULDN'T WANT MAURA TO KNOW THAT YOU SLEEP WITH MR. POOH BEAR EVERY NIGHT, EVER SINCE YOU WERE FIVE, NOW. DO YOU?
Faleron, Khari, Kel, Merric, Seaver, Roald, Shinko, Neal (who had come back looking like Yuki had challenged him to a duel.), and Yuki (Who came back smug, as if she had won a duel) all snickered.
THIS IS...NOW, WHERE'S THAT CAPS LOCK BUTTON? OH, THERE IT IS...ah, that's better. This is WAY to hard, from now on they are known as the book-people.
Owen collapsed into hysterics...the sobbing kind. The book-people were scared, nobody moved.
THAT'S BETTER, NOW KEL, READ!
"Fanfiction contest rules and regulations...
Anything may be nominated into running, as long as...
1. It has something to do with the Tortallan Quartets.
2. It is ORIGINAL, no plagiarism now. Be good girls and boys!
3. It was nominated by someone other THAN THE AUTHOR! This is important, because otherwise we'd all be self promoting.
4. IT IS POSTED ON FF.N!!!
Anything will stay in the running, as long as...
1. It was nominated by AT LEAST two people. No bribes please. Follow the Honor Code!
Not Nominatable:
1. Any unfinished stories that have not been added to in a year! (Finished stories are okay)
2. This Story...duh
Categories (Before I begin, Yaoi/Yuri/Lemon is allowed...read on to find out what the heck these are!):
Best Chaptered Complete Story
Best Chaptered Incomplete Story
Best Song-Fic
Best Parody or Cross Over
Best Song or Poem
Best Tear-Jerker
Best Laugh (Until You Have To Pee)
Best Overall
Special Awards
Best Self Inclusion (Since it can also go under a lot of categories)
The A-Ano Award (Ano means...What? Huh?) Awarded to the fic that is so crazy that it is both entertaining and...well leaves you with the Huh? Feeling.
You can nominate one story for two categories. And you can nominate more than once, as well as vote.
Judges:
Everyone is a Judge! Just...
1. Don't vote for yourself, please...
2. Don't get your friends to vote for you.
3. Don't vote for your friend just because she's your friend.
4. Don't try to put others on "guilt-trips" by ignoring them because they didn't vote for you. We don't want to start a fight now!
5. Don't vote multiple times for the same story just 'cuz you want it to win.
6. Don't tell on anyone that you suspect broke one of the above or below...at least not publicly. Just let that person have their fun. They'll be guilty about it later. Ummm...Tell me, I can delete the votes.
7. DON'T VIOLATE THE HONOR CODE/SYSTEM!
Also, votes go into the review section of this fic, or the forum. (Just put up a message with the words vote in the title.) Please include:
Title of Fic
Author of Fic
Category of Nomination
Your name/ pen name
A sentence on why it is great (To stop people from voting w/o reason)
Vote Counters:
If you want to be a vote counter, post a message in the forum, and start counting the votes on your own. In the end, all the vote people will gather and post their results.
Also, since to keep this "fic" on the first page of the new stories, we all have to chip in with /New chapters. If you have an idea, email me at yanagi@fushigiyuugi.net. My pen name is Kourin.
CONTEST STARTS THE DAY THIS IS POSTED AND ENDS...AUGUST 30th (So you guys have all summer long!)
All right, that's it! Any suggestions post or review! Thanks and HAVE FUN!"
Kel paused. "That wasn't so bad. Wait." She glanced at the air. "What's Yaoi or Yuri?"
THAT'S WHEN WE GET REALLY EVIL AND PAIR GUYS WITH GUYS OR GIRLS WITH GIRLS...
Cleon looked at Neal, Neal at Cleon.
"Oh Mithros!" Neal said. "You shine with such, such Beauty!"
Cleon walked up to Neal.
"My lips, two blushing pilgrims ready stand."
"Shall I smooth your rough lips with a tender kiss?"
They kiss.
"Dear Kennen." Neal said, " You kiss by the book!"
"No!" the book people cried, sickened, "No more!
Neal and Cleon sprang apart, dazed.
A bald, bearded guy runs through, yelling about plagiarism and getting his plays wrong. He runs out.
"Hey," Khari wondered. "What's a song fic??"
THAT'S WHERE YOU TIE YOUR STORY IN WITH A SONG, R&B, POP, RAP...
"Oh." Kel said.
"What's rap?" Faleron asked.
UHHH...LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE...
Rap Beat ensues...(this is a very bad rap, not a very bad song fic. heh heh heh iggly should enjoy this...kidding)
There once was a brotha' by the name of Kennen,
Who fell for a girl by the name of Mindelan.
He dropped some stuff in the girl's Mountain Dew,
And after she'd bonked, they began to CENSORED
When she woke up, she said..not cool.
This was wrong...
This was bad...
This was breaking the rules.
So she knocked out poor Kennen and gave him to Daine.
Who said, I've got Numair, you only be a pain...
A strain...
I've nothing to gain...
Now go away or you'll drive me insane.
Now Kennen was sad, he was down in the dumps
He'd been kicked in the ass by the yamani Lump.
And punched in the face by the Wild Mage too.
It was true,
He was blue,
So he took up a knife and commited seppuku...
But what about Daine and that girl named Mindelan?
Did they feel sorry that they killed poor Kennen?
Yeah right, for sure, they could hardly care!
They picked up their bags and moved to Valley Fair.
Kel was in a corner, busy comforting a sobbing Cleon. She kept on telling him that she would never do that and that she loved him...and yadda yadda yadda...blah blah blah...
HMPH. I STILL THINK KEL AND NEAL WERE BETTER.
Anyways.
The rest of the book people were on the ground rolling in agony
"That. Was. Bad." The second voice said. "Never. Ever. EVER. WRITE A RAP. Again!"
"It wasn't that bad, was it?'
Khari laughed as the others got up.
*Long Pause*
"What?" she muttered. "It was funny!"
-Finis-
-Kourin ^.~
Thanx to Caitie for the idea of writing it into a fanfic!
"How long does the stump sleep?" Neal asked. "One full Knight!" Neal answered himself. "Get it? Knight? Night?" He and Khari cracked up. Their companions stared at them strangely.
"What?" Khari muttered, "It was funny!" This earned her odd looks.
"Mithros!" Cleon exclaimed. "I'm so bored!"
"You'd think we could find something to do, with a free day." Merric complained.
"I'm so hot!" Yuki replied, "I can barely lift a shukusen!"
"And Rhk' sl is out of the question." Khari added. Shinkokami nodded sleepily, her head against Roalds' shoulder.
"Is Kel back?" Cleon asked.
"Yep! Here she comes!" Kel came towards them at a half trot, a strange device under her arm.
"Lads!" She called "Look what I found!" It was a terribly misplaced and battered Macintosh I book, which wasn't supposed to be invented for another thousand years or so.
"What is it?" Seaver asked.
"Wow! Owen exclaimed, "Such a Jolly color!"
"Strange." Khari commented. "Master Numair must be chanting again."
Suddenly...
THEIVES! A voice cried out IWAN'T MY LAPTOP BACK! YOU SHALL PAY FOR TAKING IT!
A flash of light, and the gang disappeared. The dumbstruck chickens that appeared in their place squawked once and spontaneously combusted. Somewhere in the boondocks of Galla, a farmer discovered them and started his own chain of restaurants, which he called the Gallan Fried Chicken.
"Where are we?" Kel asked, pulling Cleon to his feet. Neal and the others got up around her.
IN MY LAPTOOP! The voice boomed
"Who are you?" Faleron called out, keeping a tight hold on Khari.
AHHH...FALERON, MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. (NEAL NOT INCLUDING) I SHALL GRACE YOU WITH AN ANSWER. I AM...(pause)...I AM FAKLFJAKFAIEWORIOWPEOIA...BUT YOU CAN CALL ME THE RULER OF THE UNIVERSE...YES THAT WOULD BE FINE.
"Now look here Ruler of the Universe..." Merric began.
THAT'S MISS RULER OF THE UNIVERSE TO YOU!"
(Offstage voice: ...get to the point)
Fast Forwards to a later part...
Owen is cowering on the floor
"Yahh! This isn't Jolly!"
"Kourin!" A second voice warns.
"BUT...I like this part!"
"Would you like some cheese with that wine? (Copy-righted by my friend...)
Grumbling is heard in the background.
MORE Fast Forwarding
Kel is reading as words magically appear in the...thin air.
"Welcome to the first annual FF.N Tamora Pierce Fanfiction contest...What's fanfiction?"
FANFICTION IS WHERE WE HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR ACTIONS!!!!! (Evil laughter in the background)
(In the background: "What's a Tamora Pierce?" Owen asked.
"Oh shut it Owen." Khari replied. "It's obviously a horses name!"
I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER CREATED YOU...)
Anyways...
"You are one sick and twisted individual!" Neal yelled. 'What a sick mind!"
OH REALLY? I HAVE A SICK MIND?
New words begin to appear...
"Roses are red,
Violets are purple.
When I think of me, you, and a bed...
My heart goes urple...
Neal's face turned purple
I think you're cute,
You think I'm a fruit frute fruit
"Where'd you get t-that?" Neal stuttered.
YOUR ROOM
You wear long skirts, so I'm out of luck,
But seriously, I think we should...
"Nooooooo!" Neal yelled, and ran to block the screen.
HEH HEH HEH......
Yuki advanced on Neal...
"Who was that to?"
Neal whimpered, and Yuki dragged him off for punishment. Screams are heard in the background
"You, You are evil!" Owen cried.
NOW OWEN, THAT ISN'T JOLLY NOW, IS IT? ESPECIALLY SINCE I KNOW WHERE MR. POOH BEAR IS!
"No!" Owen sobbed, "Leave Mr. Pooh Bear out of this!"
OH, I WILL, AFTER ALL, I CREATED HIM. BUT YOU WOULDN'T WANT MAURA TO KNOW THAT YOU SLEEP WITH MR. POOH BEAR EVERY NIGHT, EVER SINCE YOU WERE FIVE, NOW. DO YOU?
Faleron, Khari, Kel, Merric, Seaver, Roald, Shinko, Neal (who had come back looking like Yuki had challenged him to a duel.), and Yuki (Who came back smug, as if she had won a duel) all snickered.
THIS IS...NOW, WHERE'S THAT CAPS LOCK BUTTON? OH, THERE IT IS...ah, that's better. This is WAY to hard, from now on they are known as the book-people.
Owen collapsed into hysterics...the sobbing kind. The book-people were scared, nobody moved.
THAT'S BETTER, NOW KEL, READ!
"Fanfiction contest rules and regulations...
Anything may be nominated into running, as long as...
1. It has something to do with the Tortallan Quartets.
2. It is ORIGINAL, no plagiarism now. Be good girls and boys!
3. It was nominated by someone other THAN THE AUTHOR! This is important, because otherwise we'd all be self promoting.
4. IT IS POSTED ON FF.N!!!
Anything will stay in the running, as long as...
1. It was nominated by AT LEAST two people. No bribes please. Follow the Honor Code!
Not Nominatable:
1. Any unfinished stories that have not been added to in a year! (Finished stories are okay)
2. This Story...duh
Categories (Before I begin, Yaoi/Yuri/Lemon is allowed...read on to find out what the heck these are!):
Best Chaptered Complete Story
Best Chaptered Incomplete Story
Best Song-Fic
Best Parody or Cross Over
Best Song or Poem
Best Tear-Jerker
Best Laugh (Until You Have To Pee)
Best Overall
Special Awards
Best Self Inclusion (Since it can also go under a lot of categories)
The A-Ano Award (Ano means...What? Huh?) Awarded to the fic that is so crazy that it is both entertaining and...well leaves you with the Huh? Feeling.
You can nominate one story for two categories. And you can nominate more than once, as well as vote.
Judges:
Everyone is a Judge! Just...
1. Don't vote for yourself, please...
2. Don't get your friends to vote for you.
3. Don't vote for your friend just because she's your friend.
4. Don't try to put others on "guilt-trips" by ignoring them because they didn't vote for you. We don't want to start a fight now!
5. Don't vote multiple times for the same story just 'cuz you want it to win.
6. Don't tell on anyone that you suspect broke one of the above or below...at least not publicly. Just let that person have their fun. They'll be guilty about it later. Ummm...Tell me, I can delete the votes.
7. DON'T VIOLATE THE HONOR CODE/SYSTEM!
Also, votes go into the review section of this fic, or the forum. (Just put up a message with the words vote in the title.) Please include:
Title of Fic
Author of Fic
Category of Nomination
Your name/ pen name
A sentence on why it is great (To stop people from voting w/o reason)
Vote Counters:
If you want to be a vote counter, post a message in the forum, and start counting the votes on your own. In the end, all the vote people will gather and post their results.
Also, since to keep this "fic" on the first page of the new stories, we all have to chip in with /New chapters. If you have an idea, email me at yanagi@fushigiyuugi.net. My pen name is Kourin.
CONTEST STARTS THE DAY THIS IS POSTED AND ENDS...AUGUST 30th (So you guys have all summer long!)
All right, that's it! Any suggestions post or review! Thanks and HAVE FUN!"
Kel paused. "That wasn't so bad. Wait." She glanced at the air. "What's Yaoi or Yuri?"
THAT'S WHEN WE GET REALLY EVIL AND PAIR GUYS WITH GUYS OR GIRLS WITH GIRLS...
Cleon looked at Neal, Neal at Cleon.
"Oh Mithros!" Neal said. "You shine with such, such Beauty!"
Cleon walked up to Neal.
"My lips, two blushing pilgrims ready stand."
"Shall I smooth your rough lips with a tender kiss?"
They kiss.
"Dear Kennen." Neal said, " You kiss by the book!"
"No!" the book people cried, sickened, "No more!
Neal and Cleon sprang apart, dazed.
A bald, bearded guy runs through, yelling about plagiarism and getting his plays wrong. He runs out.
"Hey," Khari wondered. "What's a song fic??"
THAT'S WHERE YOU TIE YOUR STORY IN WITH A SONG, R&B, POP, RAP...
"Oh." Kel said.
"What's rap?" Faleron asked.
UHHH...LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE...
Rap Beat ensues...(this is a very bad rap, not a very bad song fic. heh heh heh iggly should enjoy this...kidding)
There once was a brotha' by the name of Kennen,
Who fell for a girl by the name of Mindelan.
He dropped some stuff in the girl's Mountain Dew,
And after she'd bonked, they began to CENSORED
When she woke up, she said..not cool.
This was wrong...
This was bad...
This was breaking the rules.
So she knocked out poor Kennen and gave him to Daine.
Who said, I've got Numair, you only be a pain...
A strain...
I've nothing to gain...
Now go away or you'll drive me insane.
Now Kennen was sad, he was down in the dumps
He'd been kicked in the ass by the yamani Lump.
And punched in the face by the Wild Mage too.
It was true,
He was blue,
So he took up a knife and commited seppuku...
But what about Daine and that girl named Mindelan?
Did they feel sorry that they killed poor Kennen?
Yeah right, for sure, they could hardly care!
They picked up their bags and moved to Valley Fair.
Kel was in a corner, busy comforting a sobbing Cleon. She kept on telling him that she would never do that and that she loved him...and yadda yadda yadda...blah blah blah...
HMPH. I STILL THINK KEL AND NEAL WERE BETTER.
Anyways.
The rest of the book people were on the ground rolling in agony
"That. Was. Bad." The second voice said. "Never. Ever. EVER. WRITE A RAP. Again!"
"It wasn't that bad, was it?'
Khari laughed as the others got up.
*Long Pause*
"What?" she muttered. "It was funny!"
-Finis-
-Kourin ^.~
Thanx to Caitie for the idea of writing it into a fanfic!