I don't know why I'm frightened
I know my way around here
The cardboard trees, the painted seas, the sound here...

I don't think I could ever have been what he wanted. I don't think I was ever allowed to be anything he could want. We had one moment in time. We had a moment in our youth that everything was considered to be acceptable, if only once. We had it there, and we were happy there. At least I was. I never found out from him whether or not he was happy. He seemed happy though. But what do I know?

When it came time to end it, when we were parting our separate ways, I didn't think he would let them rip us apart. But he did. And we had to end it.

He took a respectable job; a job that his parents thought would bring him stability and reassurance after our adolescent experiments. He had a new girlfriend, someone who his parents selected and who would never dream of stepping outside of the painted lines life had drawn her into. I saw him from time to time, from a distance, but I doubt he recognized me. I had a painted face and looked different from when were in school.

Yes, a world to rediscover
But I 'm not in any hurry
And I need a moment

My parents took a very open approach to my upbringing. They never expected great things from me, like they did my brother. They never expected me to take the easy way out of things though. I suppose I got that from my mother. But when I told them I wanted to go into theatre they were taken aback. It wasn't the first time I had shocked them. But it took some time for them to get used to it.

So I was onstage, playing roles that weren't myself, taking on personas to escape the dull and dreary London weather and dreary London social society. He was there, sitting in the crowd, watching me. I tried not to sing to him, to act out my monologues to him, or pretend he was the one I was speaking to. But that's always how it seemed to work.

You are cordially invited to

The Graduating Class of 2023

Ten Year Hogwarts Reunion

Please come join us for a night

To remember on July 29th

It wasn't something I thought Hogwarts did, but as it turns out, Hogwarts is full of surprises. I didn't know if I was going to go. Was he going to go? It was such a pathetic thought and the fact that it was my first one upon receiving the invitation. I really should move on. I had had so much success and it's not like my love life was that terrible. Nothing lasted, but that's really what a stage life did to a person. Everything was fleeting and momentary, characters, roles, plays, relationships. I moved from theatre to theatre, auditioning and selling my skills where I could. I did pretty well. For someone still living in the past I mean.

The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways
The atmosphere as thrilling here as always

I dropped the envelope and picked up my coat. I had a rehearsal to get to but I had to stop by my parents' house first for lunch.

I disapparated out of my London flat and appeared before a familiar door. It had been where I'd spent my entire childhood and teenage years. I knocked once and then entered without waiting for an answer. "Mum, Dad," I called out, "I'm here."

"Al? Or is that James? I can never tell your two voices apart," my mum was muttering to herself as she descended the stairs. "Oh, Al, it is you. I should learn to go with my gut feelings next time." She came towards me and embraced me.

"Hi Mum."

"Good morning. Your father's in the kitchen. Figure out what he's doing and ask him into the den. We're not having lunch in the kitchen today."

Feel the early morning madness
Feel the magic in the making

Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye

I shrugged off my coat and hung it up before heading in the direction of the kitchen. I found my father sitting at the kitchen table with the Daily Prophet propped up in front of him. "Dad," I said to get his attention, shoving my hands in my jean pockets.

"Albus?" A corner of his newspaper dipped to the side as he looked at me. "You're here for lunch. You're mother didn't tell me. Sneaky woman."

I smiled briefly. "I have rehearsal straight through for the next couple of weeks and today was one of the only days I had off."

My father's eyebrows rose skeptically. "You don't expect me to believe you had today off, do you?"

"You caught me," I laughed. "I have a read-through later this afternoon. But I have now off so that's what matters."

He nodded, "That's what I thought. Did your mother send you in here?"

"Yeah, she wanted to tell you that lunch is to be served in the den."

He folded his newspaper and then rose. "Well then we mustn't keep her waiting. She'll get cranky. And as a redhead she's prone to temper tantrums."

My mother's voice rang through the house, "I HEARD THAT!"

"Love you Ginny," my dad called back. "That woman has ears like a hawk." He clapped be on the shoulder and we walked back towards the den.

I've spent so many mornings just trying to resist you
I'm trembling now, you can't know how I've missed you
Missed the fairy tale adventure

We entered and saw my mum arranging sandwiches on the small tea table. "I heard that too you know," she commented, standing and putting her hands on her hips. It was body language that was far younger than she was, but she still did it occasionally. She was indignant and my father loved it. He thought she looked cute when she was angry.

Lunch went by pleasantly. We didn't talk about anything of consequence until the very end really, when I brought up the ten year reunion of my class.

"Huh, I wonder why we never had a ten year reunion," my dad commented to no one in particular.

"Probably because you didn't actually graduate," Mum replied.

"Oh yeah."

"I don't know if I should go," I confessed.

"Why ever not?" my father asked.

"You know why, Dad." I linked my hands behind my head and leaned back in my chair. This was my thinking stance. It was a technique I had developed over the years from advanced acting classes. It opened my chest and allowed for deeper breathing in my diaphragm, but that's just the technicalities. It really did work though.

In this ever spinning playground
We were young together

I noticed my mum and dad exchange a look and I held back an eye roll. They had accepted me by now, after at least ten years, but they were still uncomfortable talking about it out loud. My mum was more understanding than my dad, but I think that's just a mother's love is slightly stronger than a father's. She also saw it from my side because she was in love with dad.

"Al, I thought you were seeing someone," my mother pointed out.

"Yeah well 'seeing someone' is pretty vague in the theatre, Mum. One night I could be seeing someone and the next I might not be. I was trying to go steady with someone, but as it turns out, the flake is just indecisive."

"Ah," was all my mother said.

"I think you should go," my father entered boldly. He usually didn't say what was on his mind on these matters. He'd always deliberated to my mother's opinion.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. I think you should go and see everyone again. I'm sure you've seen loads in the theatre since, but to go back to Hogwarts. It's a grand place, Albus, and you have a lot of history there. Don't worry about anything else."

"Huh," I replied nondescriptly.

Taking my father's advice had always ended well. My mother was more prone to touchy-feely advice and it sometimes didn't end so great, but my father's advice was always solid. I would listen and see where this landed.

I'm coming out of make-up
The lights already burning
Not long until the cameras will start turning...

It was such a girly thing to think about, but the day before the reunion, all I could think of was what I was going to wear. I'm sure anything I chose to wear would be accepted because most of my graduating class knew in our seventh year that I was gay. I just didn't know which outfit would give the best impression. I wasn't a starving artist so I didn't want to wear flannel and jeans. I wasn't a flashy diva, despite having played several roles to the contrary, so I didn't want to wear glittery, sparkly, spandex tights with some sort of feather accessory. I wanted to wear something that said "sophisticated and gay", because if I was going to go at all, I was going as myself. No point in denying what was already widely known.

In the end I decided on a nice pair of black dress pants, a pair of black and white 50s saddle shoes, a snazzy black t-shirt with a silver glittery design, topped off with a black suit jacket. I decided against the fedora though it was really tempting.

After one last cursory check over my appearance in my wall-to-wall studio mirror (a necessary accessory to any actor/singer/dancer's studio) I grabbed the invitation off my coffee table and disapparated to Hogsmeade.

And the early morning madness
And the magic in the making
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye

It has long been that no one is able to apparate within the grounds of Hogwarts, so all students going to the reunion had to make Hogsmeade their apparating destination and then walk up to the gates of Hogwarts for entrée. I did likewise and disapparated to just in front of Honeydukes, one of my all time favorite stores in Hogsmeade.

The town was teeming with people, not just those who lived there, but also with students, many of whom Albus recognized. I had thought about it before, and imagined I would see my cousins, Rose and Louis, as well as several other classmates. All of a sudden there were butterflies flicking around my stomach. I was nervous already because I knew, and hoped, that one special classmate would come to the party tonight.

I started making my way up to the castle. I received many 'hellos' and chatted lightly with a few people. I didn't keep up a steady stream of conversation until I saw my cousin Rose. She saw me, waved and came over from her party of friends to where I was walking.

"Hey you," she greeted me, linking her arm through mine. "So you came. I didn't know if you were going to or not."

"Dad said it would be a good idea," I commented in return.

She smiled, "Of course he did. That's what my mum told me. She said 'you never know what you'll find when you head back to Hogwarts'."

"They're probably right. I'm just too nervous to think about the historical qualities of this place right now."

"I see," Rose said knowingly. She knew my feelings were still intact for him and she understood the implications of coming back here immediately. "I haven't seen him," she noted in a whispered voice.

I don't want to be alone
That's all in the past
This world's waited long enough
I've come home at last!

"Neither have I. Do you think he'll even be here?"

She shrugged, "No idea."

"Have you seen Louis?" I asked.

"Nope," she laughed, "but I'm sure he's around her somewhere. Uncle Bill would have made him come too. Don't you love our family? So attached to Hogwarts. I'm surprised we're not living in Hogsmeade so we're always right here."

I chuckled. "My parents were thinking about it. I'm sure everyone thought about it. It just never happened for some reason."

"Yeah, oh well. I love living in London actually. I do love Hogsmeade, but it was always just nice when we got out of the castle from classes and things. It's not a very happening place when you consider other things."

"You're right. I like London too. Besides, there's no theatre in Hogsmeade."

"Right and what's an actor without a stage, eh?" She teased me lightly as we came up to the gate, which had been flung wide open for the occasion.

"Exactly," I smiled back at her. Rosie had always been my favorite cousin. We had been best friends in school and all throughout our adult lives. We were also currently single and focused on our careers, despite every opportunity we took to dive into a relationship. These things just didn't come as easily to us as it came to our parents who fell in love right out of Hogwarts at seventeen.

And this time will be bigger
And brighter than we knew it
So watch me fly, we all know I can do it...

Hogwarts castle loomed up in front of us and I sighed inwardly. So many memories flooded back through me. This had been such a wonderful home, and I often missed the sense of camaraderie that I had felt living in the dorm rooms with the friends I'd come to know so well. I kept in touch with a few of them right now, but they were married and had kids and I figured I'd just be interfering. I was a twenty-seven year old gay actor and I found I had very little in common with them anymore.

Rosie and I climbed the stairs towards the Great Doors and then passed through the threshold of our youth, heading towards the Great Hall. The grand room was decked out with dozens of candles for light, with brilliant decorations of metallic green, silver, blue, gold, and red scattered around the room. It was beautiful.

It looked like our entire graduating class had turned up for the event. I was very surprised that so many had come. I hadn't thought this would be such a big deal for people, but I guess it was.

Rosie and I said hello to a lot of people, keeping up casual conversations together before Rosie took off to mingle the crowd by herself. I bid her good luck and then took off towards the refreshments table. I desperately needed a drink. I was completely and utterly on edge. I still hadn't seen him and the idea he was hiding behind every single person was driving me insane.

I grabbed up a glass of champagne because it was the strongest beverage they were serving unfortunately. Then I went over to the one wall and leaned against it, sipping the bubbly liquid.

The castle still held the same fantasy and awe as it had when I was eleven. I was used to it now, but that didn't mean I couldn't still marvel at the wonder and magic of it. I had often thought of coming back here to teach when I was younger. But Hogwarts didn't teach drama and theatre, so I stuck to the stage where I belonged.

I looked up from my drink to take in the room again and all the people. It was some party. It was my understanding that the headmaster would make a speech sometime through the night. I wasn't exactly looking forward to that, but I knew it would be a very good speech.

I glanced back towards the doors of the hall and my heart skipped a beat. He was so unmistakable and distinct, that blond hair, I knew him at once. I brought my glass to my lips again and downed the champagne, never taking my eyes off him.

Could I stop my hand from shaking?
Has there ever been a moment
With so much to live for?

Was it too much to hope that he still had feelings for me? I had been in love with this man for ten years and his love was all I had ever really wanted. We were young when we'd been together before, and we didn't know to what our feelings meant to any extent. It was only in later years that I really knew. I never found out if he felt the same way…

Ten years earlier…

Sitting beside each other on a couch in the library wasn't exactly my idea of a date, but it was as good as we could get when homework was crippling. My shoulder rested against his lightly as I sat with a text book propped up on my knees. He had a piece of parchment resting on the arm of the couch and a textbook on his lap. He would read for a few minutes and then scribble something down on the parchment.

He looked up at me then and I met his steel-gray eyes with my green ones. "What's with the sigh?"

"What sigh?" I asked, startled by the question.

"You sighed."

"I did?"

"Uh, yeah," he laughed shortly.

"I didn't realize. I guess the homework is getting to me." I looked back to my textbook and squinted briefly before shutting it. "I give up."

Setting down his quill, he conceded, "Me too."

The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways
So much to say not just today but always...

I had rested my hand on my lap and my heart started beating fractionally faster when his hand came to rest on mine. Gripping my hand with his, he nudged me playfully. I chuckled and leaned my head against his shoulder.

This seemed to trigger something inside him because he tensed and I leaned away again. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he denied.

"I don't believe you. Now what's wrong?"

"I—I just know, although I hate to admit it, that this has to stop eventually, Al."

He still held my hand so lovingly and yet the words stung. "Why?"

"My parents. They'll never accept that this is more than a phase. They will say I've had my fun but it's time to grow up."

"And you'll let them split us up, even if you know it's not just a phase?"

"Isn't it though? I have no idea. I'm happy you've figured your life out, but I just don't know if this is for me. I'm sorry, but that's how it has to be." He looked incredibly confused, but still sad and regretful.

We sat in silence for a few moments before I leaned forward and planted my lips on his. What I felt for him whenever we kissed was never going to be just a momentary thing. I'd always feel it like that. He just didn't know if he felt the same.

His hand cupped my cheek as he deepened the kiss. I couldn't understand him sometimes. He didn't know if this was the right road for him, yet here he was, kissing me for all it was worth. He wanted out, but he wanted me right there for now. So I let him.

I stayed until he had enough, and until his parents ripped us apart. He took my hand that last day of school, looked me dead in the eye and said it. "Goodbye."

I looked down at my empty glass once, taking my eyes off his form, and then back up. He was still standing there, his eyes searching the room. My heartbeat sped up and I found myself hoping he was looking for me. Then our eyes met.

His steel-gray eyes met mine and recognition sparked. His mouth turned slightly upward and I tilted my chin a little higher. We were different people from ten years ago. This smile could just mean he recalled the memories we'd shared and was happy to see a friend. But as he made a beeline in my direction, his smile widened and I felt my cheeks burn.

He reached my side. He was wearing a clean-cut black suit, no tie, and open collar white. Beneath I could see a silver chain dangling against his skin. I resisted the urge to lift my hand to him. My skin was the only thing keeping me from going everywhere at once and this man in front of me was the cause of those feelings.

We'll have early morning madness
We'll have magic in the making

Where I restrained myself from reaching out to him, he reached out to me. He took my hand as easily as if we'd only seen each other yesterday. "Hey," he said. His voice was rough and gritty after ten years, no longer the smooth and youthful tone.

I breathed out, "Hey."

"You look good," he said.

"You too. I didn't think you'd come." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I didn't think you'd come either. You're a pretty busy guy." His smile was blinding.

"How do you know?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I've been to every single one of your performances, Al. I just know."

"Every single one?" I gawked. "I saw you at a few, but I didn't think you were at every one."

"Every single one, Al. You're brilliant onstage. I couldn't take my eyes off of you."

My eyes searched his, looking for those tell-tale signs that would let me know what he was thinking. My head was buzzing. "Scorpius…" my voice caught in my throat.

He shook his head and pulled on my hand, taking me out of the room. We stopped just outside the Great Hall, inside a little nook, hidden from everyone else.

"Don't say anything else, Al, not until…" He never finished. He just grabbed my head and pulled it towards him, taking my lips with his, kissing me. It probably started off quick but then when our lips met the feelings just intensified. My hands went around his back and tugged him closer.

When our mouths parted we didn't untangle our bodies. Our breathing was heavy and our heartbeats so loud I swore people in the Great Hall could hear them.

"I tried," Scorpius said breathlessly. "I tried my best to get you out of my head, Al. My parents tried their best, shoving countless women at me, but it never changed. You and I never changed. The way I feel about you never changed."

I closed my eyes and brought my hand up to cup his face. Leaning my forehead against his is whispered, "Thank god, because I have missed you every moment for the past ten years. Don't leave again. Don't say goodbye again, please."

"Never," Scorpius said against my lips. "Never again."

Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye...

Ten years can change a lot about people. But, when you love someone as much as I love him, there really isn't any alternative. Ten years could have happened in the blink of an eye because everything was as if we'd never said goodbye.

We taught the world new ways to dream!

THE END