Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or setting of this story. Darn the luck.
Note: "Yuki means snow, and this year the falling snow and the introduction of an outsider sends Akito into a state of contemplative melancholia. Delves into Akito's past and his motivations. Dark.
The Souma home was a cold and lonely place, only those who knew were allowed there. Of all things cold and lonely, Akito was one who seemed to most fit in with the dark atmosphere. He stared out at the cold landscape, watching snow begin to fall and listening to the sound of Momiji and that silly girl his cousins had taken in.
It was already a bad day before the snow began to drift down in perfect white flakes, and Akito turned suddenly away from the window with a scowl. Snow. He hated snow above all else.
Mama, what does it mean to die?
He remembered being little; he must have been only three or four. He couldn't remember exactly what age he was, he just remembered being little and staring around at the house that was now his own. "Why is all of this mine?" he asked with wide eyes.
His mother laughed softly, but it was a hollow sound. "It's not exactly yours, son. You must lead and guide all who are here. They will look to you."
"Why?"
"Because it is your fate to lead the Souma family, Akito-kun."
He didn't recognize the weight of her words when she said it, but her choice of words stuck with him. What happened next branded him for life though and shaped things to come. His father, who had grown more bitter and distant with each passing day, looked viciously at Akito and spat his words out. "Because it's your fate to die for the Souma family, Akito-kun."
"Mama, what does it mean to die?"
He didn't get an answer that day, but he found out soon after. To his child's mind, to die was to never ever see someone again. That's what he thought at first, until he did see his mother at the funeral. That's when the nightmares started. To die was to stay still forever, locked in a little box that people hid in the ground. If you were lucky your family would keep you company once a year, but it seemed like a selfish thing to do.
It also looked lonely and scary. He'd have to do that; it was his fate to do that for the family.
"Did Mama have to do that for the family?" An innocent question that was scoffed at and ridiculed.
Then there were the whispers. Suicide. Murder. Accident. No matter how it was said though, it was all Akito's fault in the end. His name was always coupled with talk of her death in a cause and effect manner.
"Mama, I don't want this house. I don't want this house anymore! Mama!" It had begun as a whispered prayer, but became a howling scream that none comforted nor answered.
Akito shook his head, looking out the window once again. Falling white flakes of purity that had, only once, looked beautiful. That little child had gone running out into the snow, smiling and happy as it fell and melted on his warm skin. He ran to get Mama--
"You call that spawn of yours a child? The worst of all the curses, and you had to bring it into our family, had to bear it with your womb!"
Yes, it was clearly Akito's fault Mama had died. He was born cursed, and for that reason Mama was hit. He was born cursed, and for that reason his father had hit Mama. He was born cursed, and for that reason Mama had died.
His cheer at seeing the pure falling snow would not be so easily set aside. "Mama! Is this snow? This is snow!"
"Akito!"
Terror stood starkly in her eyes as she saw him running outside. She grabbed a thick quilt, running to catch him as he ran away. His lungs burned, but when he ran he got her away from the father. He got her away from the beatings. His lungs both burned and ached, but he got her away this time.
He collapsed, coughing, but he smiled up at Mama and quietly said it would be okay.
But, as the snow had fallen, so had Mama.
I don't want this house anymore! Mama!
The door slid open as Akito pulled a heavy blanket over his shoulders. He should really lie down, the first snow of the winter always made him sick since that first time he had run from his mother. He wouldn't though. He never did. He sat in the corner and watched the snow falling from the shadows of the room.
"Did you meet her?" It was Shigure; the one who had begged to let her stay with him, the one that had begged to let her keep her precious memory.
"I looked at your little high school girl, but no, I didn't meet her. It seems like a waste of my time."
Shigure winced slightly at the words, but turned away as if to hide it. "Would you like me to get you some tea?" He seemed to have put an effort into making those words sound casual.
Akito nodded, still staring out the window. "Do you think she's the one?" he asked Shigure softly, almost hoping his cousin wouldn't hear as he walked from the room.
Shigure stopped in the doorway, tilting his head and considering the question seriously. After a moment he finally turned around with a reply. "I don't know."
Akito's eyes narrowed. "Then tell me, Shigure, what good is she? Why did you ask to keep her like some pet? If she's not the one to end the curse, she'll be just another girl who makes it worse! Just another stupid girl that hurts us all."
The dog smiled, trying to lighten the mood with his typical humor. "She's cute. Like butterflies and puppies, she needs no excuse."
"Tell Hatori to bring me my tea. You should collect your puppy before some bad man kicks her." Akito sulked in the corner, but his eyes glittered dangerously.
He was alone with his thoughts again. A harsh cough shook his frame, weakening him further and bringing on more memories. They were memories he'd love to forget, but could never let go of.
Mama! Is this snow? This is snow!
White flakes peppering her dark hair as she fell, fell. She was an outsider until the day he was born. Akito's curse had turned this lovely outsider into someone fully versed in the secrets of the Souma. She might as well have been cursed herself by her choice.
It was when snowflakes fell on wide, staring eyes and those eyes did not blink that Akito began to scream. Child screams, high pitched and terrified. The father was doing something, apologizing, trying to bring her back, fix her, make her all better, but the snow piled on her, and at some point it no longer melted.
So cold.
Akito coughed again, but returned to the window. Shigure escorted the girl off the compound while the head of the family watched, leaning on the round windowsill. Look at me, girl.
She did.
A wide-eyed and innocent look of curiosity crossed her face. She wondered who this stranger was, if it could be the Akito everyone whispered of with horror and awe. He could have laughed at her expression, if he had the strength of will. Escape now, girl. Leave us to our darkness, outsider, before it consumes you as well.
She wouldn't listen though. Something bad would happen. Hatori would be forced to erase her memory, killing a part of his soul, turning him colder to see her hurt. He was already cold as ice, able to take memories away from anyone at all, and willing to do it at Akito's command. Women, children, old men...even his own beloved.
I want to be that cold. I want to be that numb.
Akito turned away, slipping from the window like a ghost. Something bad would happen to that girl. She'd be too weak, she'd want to run, or maybe...
Mama, the snow! Mama, the snow! Mama, blink your eyes!
...just maybe...
I don't want this house anymore!
...maybe the curse would claim the life of another outsider.
What use is she?
Hatori walked into the room, carrying a tray. "Your tea, and your medicine," he announced. "It snowed today, so you must keep warm. You always get sick--"
"I'm already sick," he announced bitterly. "I'll take my medicine like a good boy, don't worry about me. I know full well I always get sick when it snows. I hate snow."
That was just the kind of day it was.
I hate snow....